(Clementine's Pov)
I was in the house back in Texas, it was a nice summer day but there was a nice cool breeze that was just perfect to stay outside for hours on end. I was sitting on the porch reading a book when I hear some laughing. I look to the side to see Violet and AJ as they came back through the gate with some rabbits and I get up a bit.
"Hey Clem." Violet says as she comes up to me and kisses my cheek.
"Hey, how was your hunting trip?" I asked.
"Went well, we got some rabbits for dinner, going to teach AJ how to clean them up." She tells me and he nods.
"And Violet said we can grill them." He says and I nod and rubbed his head.
"Mind if I help you two?" I asked.
"Sure, come on." She says as we head into what we call the hunting house, we store some of the meat in here too Violet opens the door to the house and it was the closet and I looked around quickly to see Violet on the floor holding her side. She had blood coming from her mouth and side that it pooled to the ground.
"Fucking hell." She mutters as I quickly go over to her and I moved her shirt to the side to see the bite but it looked way worse than what it originally was. It was like she was bitten several times over and I look up to see her looking at me scared.
"I... I don't want to die." She says so scared.
"It's fine, it's fine you're fine, I can fix this." I say panicked as she takes quick breaths and I see tears in her eyes. She looked so scared.
"I'm going to die." She cried and I hold her to me.
"No, no you aren't we can fix this; I'll fix it ok?" I asked her and she doesn't say anything. I don't know how long we had been sitting here but I look down to her as she shifted a bit and I see her eyes were a milky white and she tried to bite me.
I woke up to the sound of thunder and I quickly shoot up from the couch and looked around the room a bit. I see AJ sleeping on the one couch and Liz on the other with Sasha laying at her feet. I place my hand to my chest as I take some slow breaths and I look to see the rain hitting the glass doors and I rubbed my head a bit. I head over to the window on the side of the house and away from everyone just to see the rain coming down hard and I take a seat to just watch it.
"You, ok?" I hear and look to see Violet who was sitting next to me and I look away back to the rain.
"Alright, no talking got it." She says and I gripped my hair a bit and shake my head. She wasn't supposed to be here, she was not allowed to be here, there is no reason for her to be here.
"You're just scared right now." She says and I keep silent and hold myself a bit.
"It was a nightmare, it's ok to talk about it... you should talk to AJ about it." She tells me and I look to the side a bit to see her looking out at the rain too. Again, she wasn't supposed to be here, God why the hell is she here? Am I dying? No, I feel ok, I wasn't hurt just the thundering sound getting to me. God, I hate storms.
"I don't want to talk to them about it." I tell her. Might as well talk to her or she might stay longer than I want.
"I think you really need to talk to them about it, you haven't been sleeping, for god's sake Clem you drove for days on barely any sleep." She tells me.
"Maybe I don't want to because it's I keep being reminded that you are gone, I talked about you to them, I try to remember the good times, but god damn it every time I close my eyes and sleep, I just keep being reminded of you being bit." I muttered at this and I look at her.
"The dreams always start out so sweet, and happy when we were a family, before everything fucked it up, then it's back to the closet, back to you being bit, but it changes from you killing yourself, me shooting you, or you turning into a god damn Walker." I cried a bit and wiped my eyes of any tears.
"It's like I'm being punished and for what? That I didn't save you? That I fucking failed you? I get it I'm a failure and I just... I fucking know I failed." I say more to myself and I hold my arm.
"I know I failed you I don't need to be reminded of it." I say to her and she stays quiet for a bit.
"You didn't fail... you never failed me." She says and I glare at her.
"The fuck do you mean I didn't fail? You're fucking dead, you're gone, you aren't coming back god damn it, I'm imagining you right here right next to me but your body is back in fucking Texas, I know it is because I was there, I heard you shoot yourself god damn it." I tell her getting angry and then I shake my head as she doesn't respond to me and I lay my head on the window. I could feel the rain hitting the window with vibration and I feel more tears go down my eyes.
"Clem?" I hear and look to see AJ as he came over to me and I look back out the window.
"Are you ok Clementine?" He asked and I don't respond back to him. He must think I'm fucking crazy.
"Clementine." He says and I look back to him slightly.
"What's going on?" He asked and I look down a bit.
"Nothing... just nothing sorry did I wake you up?" I asked him.
"A bit yeah." He says as he takes a seat next to me and look at the rain.
"Sorry, you should go back to sleep, I doubt we will be heading to the beach today." I tell him.
"It's fine, I needed to get up anyway." He tells me and I keep watching the rain.
"Still I'm sorry." I tell him.
"Really raining out today." He says and I nod and lay my head on the window.
"You thinking about Violet?" He asked and I look at him a bit and then down.
"AJ... I've been... seeing Violet." I tell him.
"Like... how she saw Mary and Tenn?" He asked and I shrug a bit.
"She looks ok but she just... it never happened unless I was drunk." I tell him and I look back up to him as he looked to me.
"Is she saying mean things to you?" He asked and I shake my head no at this.
"No, she's been nice... tells me it's not my fault but I know it's my fault, I know it is." I tell him.
"Maybe you think it wasn't your fault but you want to keep saying it is yours?" He asked and I look down a bit and I take a breath.
"I don't really understand." I say to him.
"What I mean to say is, is that you want to think it truly wasn't your fault, but you still want to blame yourself for her death even though it really wasn't your fault." He explained and I chuckle.
"When did you become so smart?" I asked him.
"When I kept asking questions, Violet would blame herself a lot for Tenn and Mary's deaths, she... questioned herself a lot spoke to me sometimes about it." He says and I rubbed my neck.
"I know she did, she'd talk to me about it a few times too." I say to him and he nods at this.
"I just feel like shit since she died." I admitted to him.
"Same here." He says and I take a breath.
"It's like... an empty feeling, because Jesus I don't know I just miss her like hell." I say quietly and I keep my head on the window. There was another crack of thunder and I look to the sky. It was a dark day and I look to the sandy beaches and the angry waves.
"Doesn't look so bad." I say as I get up and so does AJ. I look over to see Liz still sleeping with Sasha and I pet the dogs head gently and she lift her head up a bit to look at me and I smiled as she laid her head back down. AJ and I then made some coffee and I took a few sips here and there. Liz ended up waking up and we made her some hot chocolate. I smile as she takes her drink and I fill up a bowl with water for Sasha and I get to work on some breakfast for us. Days would pass us by and the storm wasn't getting any better and we had to stay in the house.
"This blows." AJ says and I laughed a bit.
"Yeah, weather sucks." I joke and we watched the rain for a bit.
"But it's still fun, we got to travel here at least." Liz says and I nod a bit and looked to the rain as we just watched it.
"It's relaxing too... why is that?" AJ asked and I look to him.
"Maybe it's the sound, I'm really not sure, I just know it's relaxing." I tell him.
"Do you think it's going to lighten up even a little?" Liz asked and we both shrugged and Sasha was laying in front of her. She petted the dog a bit and I look back to the rain and sighed a bit as we drank our coffee and hot chocolate. I was lucky to find a few more packets though it might not be that good.
"When it does, we can head to the beach for a bit, don't want to leave until we've done something." I tell them.
"Yeah, this rain is kind of ruining the vacation." AJ says and we laughed a bit at this.
"It'll pass, it's been a few days." I say and we just take the time to relax a bit longer. When the rain actually did let up we all headed to the beaches and looked around a bit. It was a bit humid out due to the rain but at least we were able to go swimming for a bit. I sat on the sand and I just watched as AJ and Liz had fun with Sasha. I would look around and not see any Walkers in the area which was good.
"Clem look." I hear and see that Liz had buried AJ in the sand and I chuckle a bit at this as I go up to them.
"Having fun?" I asked.
"Yeah, look I'm only a head." AJ says and I laugh a bit.
"Me next, me next." Liz says and AJ gets out the sand and then we bury her a bit Sasha was barking as she tried to dig Liz out the sand and we would put the sand back on her.
"Sasha it's ok." Liz tells her but of course the dog kept trying to unbury her as we put the sand on Liz. Sasha barks at us and then looks at us as we finished burying Liz and she looks to us. Sasha then barks again and I look to her as she was looking to the other side of the beach and I stand up and see some Walkers.
"God damn it." I mutter.
"Sasha quiet." Liz says as AJ and I unbury her and Sasha stops barking at the Walkers and we hurry to the house. We grabbed our things and I made sure my gun was loaded and we look to see how close the Walkers were.
"We leaving?" AJ asked and I nod.
"Yeah, let's do it." I say and we hurry to the car. I turned the car on and drive out the area quickly.
"That was still a fun day." Liz says and AJ shakes the sand out his hair and I laugh a bit.
"That's great, I'm glad you guys had fun, even though we were mostly stuck inside with rain pouring for a few days." I say and they nod.
"Yeah, it was great, we have to do it again." AJ says and I chuckled.
"Sure, that would be great." I say as I keep driving. The days would pass us by and AJ would drive sometimes. We had gotten to New Mexico when Liz asked me something.
"Hey Clementine?" She asked and I look to her.
"Yes Liz?" I ask as I turn my body more to look at her.
"Can I drive?" She asked and I think and look to AJ who was driving.
"Sure, why not?" I asked and AJ pulls off to the side of the road and we get out and stretched a bit before Liz got in the driver seat and I get back in the passenger seat. She started up the car and she tried to reach the pedals so I scooted the seat up a bit for her and I look to the window a bit.
"Ok, now go slow until you feel comfortable going faster, ok?" I asked her and she nods as she starts to drive and it was a bit slow and I keep my eye to the road. She started to go faster and I keep an eye out for any Walkers or road blocks.
"So cool." She says and I look to her and then back to the road. I put some music on and it was about two hours into the drive when Liz started to get tired so I made her pull to the side of the road and we decided to just rest for a bit. I get out the car and took a short walk around the area to see that we were near a park and there were some Walkers but if we didn't make any sounds, they wouldn't bother us. I head over to the car and inform them of the Walkers and we all just decided to rest by the car at this time.
"Hey when we get back home can we go hunting?" AJ asked and I look to him.
"Sure, I think we need to get some deer meat anyway." I say and then grabbed my bag as I handed them anything to eat while we waited. Sasha was just walking around and sniffing whatever she could and then there was the sound of another vehicle and I look around as we grabbed out weapons and Sasha growls at the vehicle as it makes a stop. I stand up and quickly point my gun at the people.
"Bonnie?" I asked.
"Clementine, oh my god." She says as the others come out the car and I look to AJ and Liz as they lowered their guns and I look back to the group.
"Shit, it's been a while, hasn't it?" I asked.
"Yeah, it has, how is everyone? Where is Violet?" She asked and I just look to her a bit.
"Oh, everyone is fine, just back home, AJ, Liz and I decided to take a trip." I tell her.
"Yeah? Why didn't Violet come?" Shel asked and I look to her a bit and then rubbed my neck.
"She uh... she died." I tell them.
"What? How?" Bonnie asked.
"She got bit... then shot herself." AJ tells her and I look to the ground.
"Oh god, I am so sorry." Bonnie says and I nod at this and I took a breath.
"Yeah... by the way Luke is alive." I tell her.
"Wait what?" She asked and I nod.
"Yeah, fucker abandoned us, he didn't drown in the lake, and he's partly the reason why Violet is gone, because he rammed into our fucking gate." I mutter and grip my hands into fists.
"He... I don't." She tries to say something and I look at her.
"I wouldn't lie about Violet's death." I tell her and she looked to me.
"But to abandon us?" She asked.
"He did I swear to god, he's alive." I tell her and she sighed.
"Should have known... he's done it before." She says and then leans on the car.
"I'm sorry about Violet too, how... did it happen?" She asked.
"Luke had rammed into our gate back home, Violet tried to get a new gate up because they had mentioned a herd of Walkers were on the way... of course it made Violet angry and tried what she could but... they kept bothering her... we ended up having to leave and we were at a mall for a while... then the Walkers busted the glass doors and we had to run to another building... Luke said... something unforgivable and I was in such a shock that I couldn't speak up." I explained to her and I look at her.
"Violet ran off angry and I ran after her... we argued and then more Walkers came and she grabbed me to run and we get to a closet... A Walker grabbed her and I don't know how but she was bitten on the side and I just... let her suffer... and I had said some very mean things to her before all this." I tell Bonnie and I rubbed my head.
"She ended up shooting herself when I had my back turned from her." I tell her and then rubbed my head more and I take a breath and moved my hand away.
"She's back home though, that's all I am grateful for." I tell her.
"Jesus, she... she might have had her demons but she was a good woman." She tells me and I nod and wiped my eyes of any tears.
"What are you guy's doing all the way out here for anyway?" Bonnie asked.
"Well, Violet and I had wanted to take AJ and also Mary to a trip across the states, so that's what we are doing... We went to the Grand Canyon and the beaches in California, we are going to make it a once-a-year thing." I explained to her.
"That is nice something to do... how have you been taking the loss?" She asked.
"Not to well in all honesty... Jesus, I got drunk off my ass trying to forget her but fuck I saw her and I'm just... I'm just worried." I tell her. We talked for a bit before they had to get going and so did we. AJ, Liz, Sasha and I then got back to the car and we started to head back home. When we finally reached the gates of the home we are let in and I park the car by our house and I stretched a bit.
"Dear lord that trip was long." AJ laughed and so did I.
"How was the trip anyway?" Omar asked as we got out the car and I look to him.
"It was relaxing as it could be, also we saw Bonnie and the others." AJ says.
"Did you warn them about Luke and the others?" Aasim asked and I nodded.
"Not so much as warned but we told them about the incident." I tell him. We went back to the car and grabbed our things and Liz went to play with Sasha and I head into the house and take a seat on the bed in my room. I look to the closet a bit and sighed as I get out the room for a bit.
"Can we got hunting tomorrow?" AJ asked and I look to him and I nod at this.
"Sure, just relax for now, you drove a lot." I tell him.
"Not as much as you did, but I need to go make sure we have everything ready for hunting." He tells me and I look to him.
"Hey why don't you sit here a bit before you do that." I say as we take a seat on the couch.
"You doing ok?" He asked.
"Honestly, I'm trying to keep myself from drinking." I tell him.
"You didn't get rid of the bottles?" He asked and I look to him a bit.
"Is it bad that I don't want to get rid of the drinks?" I asked him.
"Well... no but... yes?" He asked and I laugh a bit at this.
"Sorry, I shouldn't laugh." I say to him.
"No, it's fine, I'm just a bit confused." He says and I rubbed the back of my neck.
"I just want to keep something that Violet made, for gods sake the leg she made isn't going to last forever and the one she was working on, I just fucking ruined it." I say and I move my hand away from the back of my neck.
"Are you feeling angry?" He asked.
"Maybe a little." I admit.
"At Violet?" He asked.
"Not just her... I'm mad at Luke, he broke the gate, I hated Elenor before but God, she pisses me off... I'm mad at myself too." I tell him.
"Why are you mad at yourself?" He asked and I shrug a bit.
"Maybe I should have spoken up... if I did, she might have not left the group... we wouldn't have argued and God we wouldn't have had to go in that closet to hide... I'm mad at her too, I told Ruby and them this before but God damn it, she makes me mad that she didn't tell me she was bit, she shot herself and for what? Because she didn't think I could, do it? she think I wasn't going to be able to take her out like I didn't for Lee? I hate the fact that she didn't think I couldn't do it. I hate the fact that she didn't tell me till it was to damn late." I tell him.
"You couldn't save her anyway; she was bit on the side." He tells me and I sighed.
"I could have made it comfortable for her at least." I say quietly.
"I... don't think you could have made it comfortable for her." He says and I think.
"I don't know any more AJ, I just... I'm scared, I've been seeing her but I hadn't had a drink." I tell him.
"In a bad way?" He asked.
"No... not that I know of, she looks the same before she got bit, she's nice to me, keeps telling me good things, nothing bad." I tell him and he looked to me.
"I keep asking myself if this was how she felt but god damn it I can't compare her to me or me to her." I say as I lean my head to my hands and I rubbed my face a bit. I was getting a bit angry at myself for even trying to compare her to me, I understand she thought I had it worse but God damn it the things she went through.
"Trauma is a bitch." AJ says and I look to him.
"I'm allowed to swear." He says and I laugh a little.
"I think I should just... head down for the day." I mutter.
"Alright, just... if you need to talk then I'll be outside." He tells me and I nod and I go lay in my bed and shut my eyes. It was a while before I woke up, it was the same thing over and over again, get up, work, go to sleep, and a constant reminder that Violet wasn't here anymore. I would visit her grave less and less to the point I couldn't stand looking at it anymore. Did I drink? Sometimes, and sometimes I would just do nothing but lay in bed all day. Not that I was lazy I just, didn't want to do anything.
"Hey Clem you good?" I hear and look up from my spot on the couch to see AJ and I would lay my head back down on the pillow.
"Clem you need to get up." I hear and I don't move from the couch.
"Mom." He says and I shoot up from the couch and glare at him.
"Do not... call me that." I tell him and he raised his hands up.
"But-."
"No... please don't call me that... please AJ." I tell him and he nods and takes a seat on the couch with me and I lay back down.
"Come on, you need to get up." He says and I curl myself closer into myself.
"I don't want to." I tell him. I hear him sigh and I just look to the couch.
"Clem." He says.
"Just leave me alone." I tell him.
"Can't do that." He says and I glare at the couch.
"Come on get up." He says and I feel him grab my hand and I sigh as I get up and grabbed my jacket from the recliner. The cold weather was setting in and I shake my head as I hear the dog barking and I walk out with AJ.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" I hear and feel someone crash into me and I look down to see Liz and I pat her head a bit.
"Thanks." I say quietly and look to the others as they look to me and I look back down.
"Um... so what do you want to do?" I asked.
"It's your birthday, what do you want to do?" I hear and see Ruby.
"Go back to the couch." I say.
"Except that." She says and I sighed and thought for a bit.
"Come on, Omar made a cake." Liz says and pulls me to the table and I laughed a bit as she shows me the cake.
"Come to see my baking skills again Liz?" Omar asked.
"I'm showing Clementine." She says and Sasha hops up next to her and barks. I pet the dog a bit and she looked to me and nuzzles me a bit and I smile a little.
"The cake looks great Omar, thank you." I tell him and he nods.
"Thanks, I was able to find sugar but I doubt it's any good." He says.
"Knowing you, it's great." I say and he laughed.
"I also made your favorite, Deer stew." He says and I nod a bit and Sasha followed Liz as she ran around.
"I know this might be a repetitive question to be asking, but are you ok? and do you want to talk?" He asked and I look to him and shake my head.
"No sorry I just... this is just a sad time." I say.
"I get it, not having someone you really want here to celebrate this with." He says and I look to him.
"I didn't say names." He says and I nod at this.
"But I think you should give them a visit." He says and I look to my house a bit and then look to the table.
"Maybe later." I tell him and he nods and I talk with the others. We have some fun and they sing happy birthday and everyone got some cake and it still tasted great. We had the deer stew as well and after a while everyone headed inside. I go over to the back yard and see some leaves under Violet's cross and I go over to it and clear the leaves a bit. I take a seat and look to the cross a bit and I sighed.
"This is stupid." I mutter and look back to the cross.
"You're a fucking idiot." I say to the cross. Knowing she can't hear me.
"Stupid... fucking brat, you couldn't tell me anything, why should I tell you shit, you didn't trust me." I say and there was no response and I sighed and rubbed my face.
"You kept it to yourself, why can't I do the same hu? I just... You did it, why can't I? why won't anyone leave me alone, you're dead, I get that." I mutter and then I get up and I kicked her cross and it knocks over. I glare at it and then I feel guilty and I picked the cross up and try to set it back but it fell over and I still try to set it back.
"God damn it, this is your fault, Violet." I say getting angry again and I set the cross on the tree and I shake my head. I will fix it in the morning if I feel like it, I doubt it.
"How could you leave me like that, fucking selfish..... should have taken us both out." I mutter and I head back into the house and I go lay back on the couch.
-One Month Later-
I haven't touched the cross since my birthday and the snow had covered it here and there, I was currently with AJ as we were hunting. It was quiet here and I was sitting in the small shack AJ and Violet had made a while back. I was making something warm to drink for AJ and I would look out the makeshift window here and there.
"There's no Walkers." I hear and look to AJ as he looked to me and then poked at the fire a bit and I shake my head.
"Sorry just... sorry." I say to him.
"Nothing to be sorry about." He says and I look over to him and I sigh and hand him his drink and I make me a cup as well and look to the window again.
"So the cross broke off?" He asked and I look to him.
"Yeah." I mutter and take a drink and took a breath.
"I know you broke it." He says and I look to the ground a bit.
"It's fine you know... I get it, you were angry at her." He says and I shake my head a bit.
"I... I'm still angry at her, why am I still angry it's been months." I mutter.
"It's just something that happens, but I'm mad at her too." He says and I look to the ground.
"I have to stop being mad at her... it wasn't like she wanted to get bit, and she fucking... she wouldn't have been able to cut the bite, it was somewhere where you couldn't cut a bite." I ranted and I set the cup down and looked to my leg a bit. It was starting to rust and I felt like it could break at any moment.
"I shouldn't be out here." I mutter.
"It's good to get some air." AJ says and I laugh a bit and rubbed my head.
"There is air everywhere AJ." I say and look to him and he laughed.
"God you've gotten big kid." I say and rubbed his head a bit.
"I'm not a kid, I'm old enough to drink." He says and I laughed.
"You're still a kid to me." I say and look to him and then looked to the window again.
"Why is that?" He asked and I look back to him.
"Well, you are eleven years younger than I am." I tell him.
"You are pretty old." He says and I laugh.
"Yeah... Yeah I am." I say and pick up my cup and take a drink.
"Do you need help with the cross?" He asked.
"No, leave it alone." I tell him and I hear him sigh a bit.
"Clementine that's not right for her." He says and I look to him.
"How?" I asked.
"Well would you like it if Violet did that to your grave marker?" He asked and I look to my lap a bit and I rubbed my face again and groaned.
"No, I wouldn't... but to be fair I would understand." I tell him.
"But she would fix it, you know she would." He tells me and I keep quiet for a bit. hearing the fire crackle for a few minutes before I gave in.
"Yeah... I'll fix up the cross, after the snow melts." I tell him and then we finish up and put the flames out. We then went back to hunting and we were able to get two bucks and took the bodies to the truck. We drove back to the trailer park and I helped AJ with the deer. When we got them to the trailer meant for cutting meat we got to work. Omar came in and helped as well and once done he took some meat and I went to the shed and looked to the fake leg that Violet was making and I scratched my head as I looked to the book she has made.
"Knock, Knock." I hear and look to see Minerva.
"Oh hey." I say and she nods as she comes in.
"Still working on that leg?" She asked.
"Might as well, this old one is about to break." I say and show her the old leg.
"Well, you keep leaving it out when it rained and snowed... like you were mad at it." She says and I look at her.
"Wait... were, you mad at it?" She asked.
"No just... her... instead of breaking things in the house or wanting to burn any photos of her I just... ruined the leg she made me." I mutter and looked back to the book and got to work on the leg.
"Well, I don't think you should leave it out until you get this leg up and running." She says and I nod at this.
"Yeah." I say and then tighten a bolt.
"She made it seem so easy." I mutter as the spring popped out and I shake my head and look for the spring. Minerva picked it up and handed it to me and I looked to the leg again. It wasn't long till I actually finished the leg and I put it on to see if it would work.
"Hey looks good." Minerva says and I nod.
"Yeah, Violet knew how to make a leg." I say and grabbed the old one and looked to it.
"Damn this thing is old." I say and looked to Minerva.
"What are you going to do with it?" She asked and I set the leg on the table.
"I'll just leave it here... for now." I say and we leave the shed.