Amanda and Rick were currently on a run for guns. It was low threat, but truthfully, it was what their relationship needed. Time alone, time to heal and remember their roots.
Amanda was outside of the van, at their little camp site, sharpening her machete. She hummed quietly as she watched Rick clean his gun. She put her machete down, looking up at him with her big green eyes, "Rick?" She asked
"What's on your mind, love?" Rick asked with a soft smile as he put his gun down, giving her his full attention
"I think it's time we start our day." Amanda smiled, "It's almost 9, we've been sitting here since 7." She laughed softly. She stood up, turning her back to Rick and she began packing up the van. She glanced down at the map, chewing on her lip as she planned their next route
Rick nodded, "Alright, if you insist." He said with a soft smile as he put his gun together, wiping the oil from his hands. He crept up behind Amanda, kissing the back of her neck softly, sliding his hands across her midsection, "Are you really in a hurry?" He mumbled into her neck
"I suppose not." Amanda said, tilting her head to the side for Rick to have better access, giggling as Rick pressed his growing bulge against her backside, "Rick.." She said softly
"Yeah, love?" Rick questioned as he sucked on her neck softly, leaving a hickey
"Do you think we're gonna win?" Amanda asked softly
Rick stopped what he was doing and turned Amanda around so he was facing him, "I do. I think once we find some guns, we have a fair chance."
"What happens after that?" Amanda asked quietly
"We keep going." Rick said simply
"No, with all the communities. They need someone to coordinate things between the three of them. To be in charge.. I think it should be you." Amanda said
"I don't think so." Rick admitted, "I don't want that. What I want.. Is us, together, running things." He said softly
Amanda's eyes lit up as she looked at Rick, "You think so?"
"Oh yeah, you're a lot more level headed than me." Rick grinned down at her
Amanda locked eyes with Rick, smiling widely,
"I love you." She said softly, "Can I tell you something?" She asked
"Always." Rick said
"I can't stop thinking of Dale, for some reason." Amanda confessed, "I often wonder how he would react to this situation. A-and Hershel."
"I think about Shane and how he would react. And Merle." Rick laughed
Amanda gasped, "That would be a nightmare." She grinned widely
Rick grinned as he kissed Amanda lovingly, placing his hands on her hips as he picked her up, pressing her back against the van.
Amanda giggled against his lips, wrapping her legs around his midsection. She tangled her fingers in his hair, deepening the kiss. Amanda reached behind her, opening the side door to the van
Rick gently laid Amanda down, covering over her, "Mmm..." He mumbled softly, pulling away slowly. He turned around, shutting the door behind him
Amanda unbuttoned her pants, shimmying them off, "Hurry." She begged
Rick reattached their lips, sliding the center of Amanda's panties to the side and began rubbing her clit softly.
Amanda sucked on his lower lip as she unbuttoned his jeans. "Come on." She begged, pulling them down for him.
Rick groaned softly as he slid down his boxers, grabbing his shaft and lining his tip up with her core. He placed his hand on the side of her head, pressing his forehead against hers as he slid himself inside. Rick's eyes fluttered shut, groaning softly at the feeling
Amanda's arched her back, moaning out as she placed her hands on his chest, "Fuck." She said softly, kissing Rick messily, letting out a loud moan when Rick's tip hit her g spot
Rick cursed softly under his breath, trying to continue to hit her g spot. He leaned down, sucking on her nipple softly as he looked up at Amanda. He tugged on her nipple softly, glancing over to her other nipple, watching it harden. Rick took Amandas leg and placed it over his shoulder, groaning louder. He took her hand, placing it over her head and pinned her down, "You are so beautiful." He said softly
Amanda gasped loudly as she squirmed under his touch, "I'm gonna cum." She squeaked out
"Not yet, baby." Rick said, sliding his length out of her. He flipped her over, pushing her head down into the ground as he lined his tip back up, forcefully pushing himself back in
Amanda bounced backwards on Rick's length, "Rick, can I please cum?" She begged, feeling her body grow weaker at every thrust
"Go ahead, baby." Rick groaned as he sucked his thumb for a moment, before he reached down and began rubbing the outside of Amanda's bumhole
Amanda gasped in surprise as she jerked forward slightly, "Oh, shit." She cried, cumming on Rick's length, letting out a cry as she felt him fill her up, "Oh, Rick." She said, trying to catch her breath. Amanda fell to her stomach when she felt Rick slide out of her.
Rick laughed softly as he kissed her bum, sliding on his boxers, "You okay?" he asked
Amanda nodded, breathing rapidly, "I can't feel my legs."
Rick laughed as he used a baby wipe to clean off Amanda, "I love you." he said softly, kissing her stomach gently, grinning as he helped her slide on her panties, "You can lay back here while I drive." He offered
Amanda nodded, kissing Rick softly before clasping her bra, "I love you." She said, laying on the backseats, watching as Rick got in the drivers seat. Rick drove for a few hours before he pulled into a small refugee center.
Amanda felt the car stop and she sat up, rubbing her eyes, "Where are we?" She asked
"Old overrun refugee center." Rick said, looking back at her, "I saw some walkers in a uniform with guns." He said, climbing out of the car, stretching his legs, "There's a building over there, we can try and get inside, see what we can scavenge." He said, walking around the side of the van and opening the door for Amanda.
Amanda's climbed out of the car, exhaling deeply as she adjusted her holster, "Okay." She said, brushing down her hair. She slid her rifle over her shoulder, smiling at Rick
Rick smiled as he watched Amanda, "Beautiful." He said softly before he took her hand, leading her towards the building, "It looks to be barricaded from the inside." He said
"There's a ladder, let's go to the roof. We could get a better view of the refugee area, too." Amanda said as she walked towards the ladder, climbing up quickly
Rick looked up, grinning, "I like this view!" He said, before he climbed up behind her
Amanda rolled her eyes, laughing as she stood on top of the roof. She squinted her eyes, humming softly as she examined the walkers, "They're all armed." She noted, "It looks like a fair." She said
"There's a bit of walkers down there. You think we can handle them?" Rick asked
Amanda grinned as she looked at Rick, "Too easy." She pulled her rifle off her shoulder, looking through the scope and shooting a walker in the head
Rick grinned as he walked over to Amanda, kissing her lovingly, "Let's go." He said, pulling her towards the ladder. As they walked, there was a soft rumble under their feet before the roof gave beneath them.
Amanda screamed as she fell through, landing on a pile of rubble, besides Rick
Rick looked at Amanda, laughing loudly as he looked at the ceiling, "My god." He laughed continuously
Amanda couldn't help but laugh alongside Rick, "Are you okay?" She asked worriedly
"I'm fine. You?" Rick laughed
"I'm good." Amanda grinned as she looked around, "Oh wow." She said, looking at the mountain of food and water in the room
"Everything's coming up." Rick grinned as he stood up, helping Amanda to her feet, "Oh, man." He said, picking up an MRE
"Oh god, I had so many of these while I was deployed." Amanda said, picking up another MRE, "Yuck." She said, grabbing a can of fruit instead. She glanced around the building, "Seems pretty secure." She said, looking at the boarded up exits. She sat down on the edge of a cot, sighing contently
"Penny for your thoughts?" Rick asked, ripping open the MRE. He filled up the heating pouch with water before he placed it down, waiting for it to warm up.
Amanda opened up her can of fruit cocktail, "I miss you." She said
"I'm right here." Rick smiled softly
"I know, but I feel so selfish. I want you all to myself. I don't want to go back to Alexandria. I wanna run away into the woods with you." Amanda said, "But I can't leave Judith and Carl."
Rick nodded, sighing softly as he held Amanda's hand, "I do feel like we got a little distant." He admitted, "I think about us alone in the little cabin, just us."
"We were safe. I wonder if Glenn and Abraham would be alive if we just stayed there. I wonder if our little belly baby would be alive." Amanda said, her voice cracking as she looked down at her stomach
"If we spend our lives thinking about what ifs, we'll go crazy." Rick said softly
"I feel like I'm already going crazy, Rick." Amanda admitted, tucking her hair behind her ear. She sniffled softly, trying to regulate her emotions.
"I know, I'm sorry." Rick said softly as he kissed the top of her head, "We're gonna win this thing. We're gonna win, and have a normal life. And be okay. We're gonna be okay." Rick promised
"What if we're not?" Amanda asked, "What if one of us dies?"
"Then we keep moving on. You will survive without me. I can survive without you." Rick said, "We have to."
Amanda couldn't help but feel rage overfill her body, feeling overwhelmed by emotions, "You went crazy after your ex wife died a-and you're saying.... y-you'd be okay if I died?" She asked
"No, that's not what I meant, Amanda. I would survive, but I wouldn't be okay." Rick said, "But we have to keep going, for the sake of the kids."
"You didn't even want anything to do with Judith and Carl after Lori died. You went psycho." Amanda said
"I-I know, but you've taught me so much. You've taught me that there's light at the end of the tunnel. Shouldn't you be happy that I'm learning from you?" Rick asked
Amanda knew she was in the wrong - she knew she was wrong for being mad at Rick - but she couldn't help it. Her mind flickered back to the prison, after Lori died. She recalled how Rick went AWOL for a while, refusing to hold Judith. Then she remembered how they got engaged, not long after Lori died.
Amanda rolled her eyes, "Yeah, you're right, you'd be okay. You'd find another girl, propose to her, and have her raise Judith and Carl."
"Amanda, come on. You're being irrational." Rick said
"Am I, Rick? Do you not have a track record of moving on pretty quickly after people die?" Amanda asked
Rick inhaled deeply, looking up at Amanda, "I won't let myself slip back into a hole. I have people who depend on me." He said
Amanda shook her head, "Whatever, Rick." She said, grabbing her rifle, "I'm gonna go to the roof." She said, hoisting herself on top of a large wooden pallet. She climbed onto the roof, sitting on the ground beside the ledge. She loaded up her gun before she laid down, aiming at a walker and taking it out. Amanda attempted to keep her mind empty as she continued to shoot walkers, her heart racing. She placed down her rifle, exhaling deeply as she glanced at the setting sun. She assumed she had about an hour before nightfall, so she climbed down the roof of the building. She grabbed her machete, jogging her way over to the fairground.
She imaged her life with Rick, if the world had never ended. She assumed they wouldn't be together. With her being broken up from Shane and not having contact with him, she knew there was no way her and Rick would've connected.
Amanda, again, knew she was being irrational, but she couldn't help it. She couldn't handle the idea of Rick moving on after her death. She knew if anything ever happened to Rick, she wouldn't be able to cope. She loved Carl and Judith, but they weren't her children - she felt no real reason to keep going, if Rick wasn't around.
Before Amanda knew it, a majority of the walkers had been killed. She had gone through the fairground, slicing away at them with her machete, lost in her own thoughts.
Amanda exhaled deeply as she shook her sore limbs, before she continued killing walkers, using a fence to keep distance between them.
Sooner than she realized, the sun had set and it was dark. She pat her body, cursing herself for not bringing her flashlight.
She exhaled deeply as she blindly began picking up guns off dead bodies, knowing she was bound to miss some due to the darkness.
Rick exhaled deeply, finally deciding to confront Amanda. Rick climbed up, his face filling with concern when he noticed she was gone, "Amanda?" He yelled loudly, grabbing his binoculars. He looked through, exhaling deeply when he saw Amanda at the fairgrounds, collecting guns off of dead bodies.
Rick climbed down from the roof, running over, "Are you insane?" He yelled at her, "You could've died!" He argued, grabbing Amanda by her shoulders, forcing her to look at him
"That's okay. You'd survive." Amanda said, looking up at Rick, her face covered in blood splatter
Rick let out a laugh of disbelief, "What do you want, Amanda? D-Do you want me to tell you that I would kneel over and stop living if you were to die?" He asked
"I would do it for you." Amanda said, looking up at Rick, "I don't have anyone but you, Rick. You have a family."
"Amanda, that's our family." Rick said gently
"I'm not Carl's mom and I'm not Judith's mother. Hell, you're not even Judith's father, Rick. Our family is over. Our family ended weeks ago, in an RV, trying to find a way to The Hilltop." Amanda said
"Amanda, come on." Rick begged, "You know that's not true. Carl and Judith love you. They love you." He promised
"It doesn't matter, Rick. We've got the guns , we've got food. We can leave tomorrow morning." Amanda said, pulling away from Rick's grasp. Again, she knew she was being selfish and irrational, but she felt truly alone. She couldn't stop herself from feeling the overwhelming feelings. Amanda dumped the guns into the back of the van, collecting them all before she locked it, placing the key in her pocket. She made her way back inside the building, lighting a small candle before she stripped off her blood soaked clothes, placing them on the floor. She put on a hair of sweatpants and a tank top, climbing onto one of the singular cots, into of the dual sleeping bag she shared with Rick.
Rick exhaled deeply, "Alright, I don't know how we're both gonna fit on this tiny cot, but I'll try my best." He sighed, trying to squeeze in behind Amanda. He wrapped his arms around her body, pulling her into his chest, "I love you." He said quietly
Amanda stayed quiet, keeping her back to Rick, closing her eyes. She exhaled deeply as she tried to force herself to go to sleep.
Rick kissed behind her ear, "I love you." He repeated
"Thank you." Amanda said curtly
Rick laughed as he shifted on the cot, so Amanda was laying on her back and Rick was on his side, "What? One argument and you don't love me anymore?" He grinned
"I love you but I don't like you right now." Amanda said, crossing her arms
"I like you." Rick grinned as he kissed her
Amanda gave him a weak kiss before she pulled away, "I'm tired, Rick." She admitted, turning her back away from him
"Do you want me to leave you alone?" Rick asked
"No." Amanda said softly, crossing her arms and keeping her back to Rick
Rick smiled as he scooped Amanda up, taking her over to the sleeping bag, where he had set up their bed. He laid down, exhaling softly as he placed Amanda on top of his body. He rubbed her back gently, staying quiet. He watched as Amanda's eyes fluttered shut, smiling when she fell asleep.
~*~
Amanda woke up the next morning when she felt Rick shift underneath her. She looked down at him, admiring his sleeping features before she crawled off his body, making her way over to her bag of items. She brushed her teeth and her hair before changing her clothes. She hummed softly, turning around and jumping in surprise, when she noticed Rick was awake, watching her
"Good morning." Rick said, smiling up at her
"Good morning. Did I wake you up?" She asked worriedly
"No. Well, yes and no. You slept on me all night. When you got off, I got cold." Rick laughed softly
"I'm sorry." Amanda smiled, sitting down on a cot, "We should take the guns to Jadis." She said, chewing on the inside of her cheeks
Rick nodded, "I wouldn't mind staying out on the road with you for a bit longer." He admitted
Amanda inhaled, "Yeah." She said softly, standing up.
Amanda and Rick began loading the van up with the canned food, MREs and water they found, along with the guns. Rick opened the door for Amanda, smiling as she climbed into the passengers seat. He kissed her temple softly before he got in as well, "Ready?"
Amanda nodded, rubbing her eyes before she crossed her arms, looking out the window
"You alright?" Rick asked softly
"Yeah, just ready to get home." Amanda admitted quietly.
The road to Jadis's community was quiet. Amanda was still exhausted , her body sore from taking out walkers the night before.
Rick was trying to give Amanda her autonomy, to work through whatever was going on in her mind.
Once they arrived, Rick climbed out of the car, opening the door for Amanda, "Jadis!" He shouted, looking up as she made her way over
"We have your guns." Amanda said, opening the back of the truck, showing her the guns. She watched curiously as Jadis' people took the guns, before they disappeared into the piles of trash.
"Not enough." Jadis said
"What do you mean not enough?" Amanda asked angrily
"Not enough. You find more weapons. Enough for your fight, but not for us." Jadis said
"Then give us back the guns, we'll go find you more." Rick said
"No." Jadis said curtly
"Half. Give us half back and we'll go find you more." Amanda said, clenching her jaw
"Five." Jadis said
"Half." Amanda argued, looking at Jadis angrily, "Half. Say yes. We find you more guns and maybe some food." She offered
Jadis inhaled deeply, "Fine." She said, watching as her people began putting a few guns back in the truck
"You got your wish. More days on the road." Amanda told Rick, "We should drop off some of the food before we go back out."
Rick nodded in agreement, looking at Amanda with soft eyes, "Let's go." He smiled, leading her to the van. He opened the door for her, watching her closely. His eyes scanned her face curiously, wondering what was really going on inside her head.
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I b feeling toxic sometimes. Don't hate 🧘♀️