It finally struck Alex as he was on the plane to Hawaii that all the aches and nausea were probably withdrawal symptoms. Shit. While Henry dozed for a bit, Alex paid for wifi so he could look it up, and it all fit: starts a few days after stopping Adderall, can cause fatigue, aches and pains, headaches, nausea, increased appetite, irritability, elevated heart-rate, slowed movements and reflexes, etc. etc. Alex had not taken Adderall in the two days leading up to the wedding in an attempt to quit it for good. He hadn't realized that his dependence on the stuff was bad enough to actually cause withdrawal.
Yesterday, he had slept in. When he woke up, it was midday and Henry wasn't in the room which Alex was grateful for when he started to feel nauseous again and went to go throw up in the toilet. He got himself back in the bed before Henry returned. This morning, it was obvious Henry was starting to pick up on Alex's lack of energy. He wanted Henry to have a good honeymoon, so he had popped up to the room to take a pill.
By the end of the massages he felt 1000x better, and with that came this intense need for Henry. What was the point of a honeymoon if not to have sex everyday, multiple times a day? He dragged Henry back upstairs in an attempt to make it up to him, but Henry was confused by Alex's change in behavior. And then to make it worse, Alex had some performance issues again. Gratefully this time he could get it up, he just had a few issues keeping it up. Fuck, he was ruining this entire honeymoon for Henry. He was the worst husband ever.
After quietly washing up, Henry changes into a swim trunks and asks Alex if he wants to go down to the pool (Henry had already canceled the car).
"I'll meet you down there in a bit," Alex says, still wrapped in his towel from the shower. Left alone, Alex steps out onto the balcony. He sits in one of the chairs and stares out onto the ocean. The water here is so blue, and then turquoise and then green overlaid with white froth where it met the shore. On the horizon, he could see a sliver of a nearby island, but Alex has no idea which.
Alex would stop taking Adderall for good, and tell Henry about it... as soon as they were home. He couldn't ruin the honeymoon by dropping a bomb like that on him. Hopefully now that he took one he should be ok for the next few days until they are home and wouldn't need another. He'd even tell Al if he had to, figure out something to help with the withdrawal symptoms.
He goes round and round thinking about it. How he would tell Henry. Tell Al. Face the withdrawal nausea and headaches again when they come back in a few days. He has a knot in his stomach that had nothing to do with drugs.
There's a knock at the door. Henry has a key, why would he be knocking? Alex goes to open it but it isn't Henry, it's one of their security team staying in the room next door.
"Mr. Fox is trying to reach you," he says. "He's called and texted but you haven't responded and asked me to check on you. Is everything alright, Mr. Claremont-Diaz?"
"Yes, Jim. Thanks, sorry. I will text Henry back." Alex goes to find his phone and finds it with 6 missed calls and a dozen messages.
You coming down?
I rented a cabana, it's number 14 overlooking the beach.
Everything alright?
Don't forget to wear trunks, the water is lovely.
Baby?
Alex?
Are you coming?
Are you getting this?
Are you ok?
Are you upset with me? Please answer
Should I come up?
I'm sending Jim over.
Alex texts back:
Nothing's wrong. Sorry, getting dressed now.
Henry responds:
You're not even dressed? It's been over an hour, what have you been doing?
Shit. Staring at the ocean thinking seems like a pretty lame excuse. Should he say it was work? No, that would only make Henry more upset, and he doesn't want to lie.
Nothing, sorry, heading down now
He finds Henry in cabana 14, drink in hand, and an empty glass on the side table. Henry rarely had more than one drink usually, but Alex guesses it is their honeymoon. There's probably not much alcohol in that pink slushy anyways.
"What you drinking?" Henry turns to see him, seeming startled.
"Lava Flow. Where have you been?"
Alex takes a seat on the other lounge chair. "Honestly... I sat down on the balcony and was just staring out at the view. It's so beautiful here, I completely lost track of time."
"Oh." Henry seems cautious, "So everything's alright?"
"I'm fine, Hen. And I saw your text, it's not you." Alex reaches out to lay a hand on Henry's. "It's never you. You are the most beautiful, considerate, patient, understanding, and graceful husband I could ever have. I love you."
Henry seems surprised by Alex' sudden speech. Alex feels like it's the least he could do to make up for his poor performance in the room after being the one to insist on staying back.
"I love you too, Alex. Will you tell me then... what's wrong..."
"Nothing. Nothing is wrong. We are in Hawaii. I am married to you. I am truly the luckiest man in the world, and I don't deserve it."
"That sounds like something I would say and you would tell me how wrong it is."
"That's because you are perfect." He gives Henry a smile. "But you've just hitched yourself to this oaf for the rest of your life," Alex says lightheartedly as he points his thumb back at his own chest.
"I happen to love that oaf very much." Henry smiles.
Alex smiles back.
"Would you like me to order one of these for you? Here, try it, it's delicious." Henry hands over the drink.
Alex shakes his head. "I told you I wouldn't drink, before the wedding, and I haven't." Alex is suddenly grateful for the established excuse. But wait, shit. "Well except for the champagne at the wedding, sorry."
"I never said you had to. You told me it wasn't an issue, so you can at least try it. If you want, of course."
Alex sighs and hesitates. Surely one sip would be fine, it wouldn't be the first time he's taken pills and booze within a few hours of each other and been fine. But in his hesitation, Henry pulls the drink away.
"Alex... is it a problem? Do you want to quit drinking?" It isn't exactly the truth, but it isn't too far off. Alex is tempted for a moment, to let Henry believe this because it is easier than the truth. But if Alex isn't going to take any more Adderall for the rest of the trip, he at least wants to be able to drink; plus he doesn't want to worry Henry, especially about something that isn't even the real issue.
"It's not, and I don't think I need to. I just wanted you to know I meant what I said."
Alex sees the concern in Henry's eyes still, but he says, "I trust you."
Alex doesn't deserve it.
---
Alex prays his less-than-excellent performance in the bedroom has been forgotten by the next day. Henry says they have to wake up early, because he has a surprise for Alex. The car drives for a long time before it pulls up to a flat lot with a line of helicopters.
Alex gives Henry his famous wicked child smile, not an ounce of it faked. He loves helicopters. Henry, however, not the biggest fan. This is something Henry had planned for him.
"Baby! You didn't!" Alex says as he climbs out of the car.
"I did." Henry has followed him.
Alex slips his hand into his husband's. "I promise to not let go of your hand."
"I don't think that would help if we go down." The corner of Henry's mouth turns up. "I am, actually – despite being absolutely scared out of my wits – excited for this also, though. Because we're going to go over the volcano."
Alex freezes. The volcano. Oh my god he didn't even realize that was a possibility. He really should've helped more with the honeymoon planning. Though, actually, right now he's glad he didn't because this surprise from Henry is perfect. "Oh my god I love you so much." And he sweeps Henry into a kiss. Henry seems shocked for a second, but then leans into the kiss, neither of them caring who is around to see them.
They meet with the pilot and he gives them helmets. The pilot instructs them on how to speak through the microphone built into the helmets since it gets very loud in the air. They go through safety precautions and Alex squeezes Henry's hand before they are finally led to climb into the back of one of the copters.
From the air, they see the beaches and the ocean, the lush green side of the island, a waterfall flowing into a valley, and the dry bare rusty-colored rock. Finally, they start to increase their elevation up the side of the volcano. Once they are above it, they peer down into the dark crater.
Alex was expecting a large hole into the center of the earth, but in reality there is a dark crust covering the crater. Near the center, there is a small, slowly leaking steady stream of lava coming from a small hole in the dark rock. Suddenly, a little shoots up out of the hole a few feet (or at least that's what it looks like from the air). Henry jumps at this, and Alex's reaches to wrap his arms around Henry best he can in the small space. As always, he uses his charm to distract Henry. "It kind of looks like you when I get you worked up."
"I used to be able to do that to you too" Henry shoots back. Fuck. Of course he hasn't forgotten. This is their honeymoon, day three, and they've only fucked once.
"I'm sorry, Hen."
"You didn't even finish." It was at this moment that Alex remembers the pilot could hear everything they are saying through the coms. Fuck. He glances towards the front but all he can see is the back of a helmet.
He hits the button to turn off the mic. "But you did, and you had a good time right?" he tries to yell at Henry over the wind and spinning blades beating through the air.
Henry gives him a confused look and mouths "What?" Actually, he probably said it aloud but Alex couldn't hear him.
Alex points towards the pilot in the front seat. Henry yells something else at him but Alex still can't make it out. Fuck it. He hits the button again. "You still had a good time, right?" Alex asks through the mic.
"Yes, Alex, of course I enjoyed it. I always do with you... but I want you to as well."
"I did, baby. I swear I did."
"Is it me? Do you just not find me attractive anymore?"
"Oh my god, Henry, no. No! It's not you, baby, I swear it's not you. God, I'm embarrassed. I'm so embarrassed."
"Is this why you didn't want to before? Because you've been... having issues?"
"I...." I thought it was a one-off before. I thought everything would be fine once we were here, Alex wants to say, but that wouldn't help Henry at all. "I guess. I hoped it would go away. Fuck, Henry." He shakes his head inside the helmet. "I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment. I know how much you wanted this honeymoon, how much you need it. I just can't...."
"You need it too, Alex. Like, yes, I wish it was different, but if you need this time to rest and recuperate, I.... well, I understand." Henry... "We have the rest of our lives, just promise we won't become one of those married couples who stops having sex completely." Alex prays this isn't the worst conversation this pilot has overheard.
"Never. I'll figure this out, and then I am going to fuck you into oblivion."
---
Alex is suddenly grateful Henry has all these plans because he had thought they were just going to spend 80% of the time in the suite fucking this honeymoon, but even though he hasn't taken anymore Adderall, Alex isn't sure if he has the stamina anymore. They do spa treatments in the afternoon and go to the luau at the resort in the evening. The way the women could move their hips was incredible (though Alex only has eyes for Henry's hips and the way they move in tandem with his when Alex is buried inside him). The fire-dancing is Alex's favorite part. Henry seems to relax and they are able to enjoy themselves. That night, they don't attempt to have sex again, but Alex makes sure Henry is satisfied.
Henry is able to reschedule their car to go around the island on the next day. They get out to walk along the black-sand beach, where the dark lava rocks get finer and finer towards the shore, where it meets the crystal-clear water. Alex samples every flavor of coffee at the coffee farm and buys six bags of the 100% Kona Vanilla Mac Nut to take home. They stop for fresh coconuts on the side of the road, and when they are done drinking the water, they scoop out the white part with a spoon. It's delicious and messy; Alex watches as it drips down Henry's chin. He leans over to lick it up to Henry's lips and then encircles them with his own. Henry tastes like the coconut, but under that he tastes like he always does, like Henry, like home.
A/N: DO NOT MIX ADDERALL AND ALCOHOL!!! I want to be VERY clear. I do not know if you would be ok, according to my research you could easily wind up in the hospital or worse.
Also, I have tried to include many of my experiences on the big island into this chapter so the lava (although it did not do a little spout), the black-sand beach, coffee farm, luau, etc are all things I have experienced. I live in Hawaii now, but on one of the other islands, and it truly is paradise.