She sat in Dumbledore’s office looking down at her hands feeling his gaze studying her. He had fixed her shoulder when they returned and the both of them had been sat in silence for several minutes now, not daring to break the tentative peace that had settled over the office.
Eliza was preparing to give the best performance of her life.
She let the silence stay for a few more moments before she glanced up from her hands, looking towards Dumbledore who sat patiently on the other side of the desk.
“I think I might have loved him you know” she murmured, eyes stinging with unshed tears as she let a defeated look cross her face “I met this boy in first year, out in diagon. Charming, intelligent – I thought it was fate”
Dumbledore continued to stare at her with sympathetic pitying eyes.
“And we kept in touch. And this Thomas Gaunt, he was so much like me – witty, smart, an idealist if you’d believe it” she said with a small choked laugh “And I found out who is ‘father’ was and I even saw past that, we were going to fix everything, fix the world and then-
Eliza let out a shout of frustration, slamming her hands against Dumbledore’s desk as she let crocodile tears fall down her face.
“I can’t believe I was so stupid” she yelled, angrily wiping the tears from her face “to fall for his ploy, to fall for-
Eliza let her last sentence trail off and glanced up to check on Dumbledore’s reaction. The man in question was giving her a soft smile, pity in his blue eyes as he sighed wearily.
“You would not be the first to do foolish things for love dear girl”
Eliza felt herself sit up a bit straighter as she looked at him in obvious confusion.
“No offence sir, but I don’t think most people go falling in love with dark lords”
A wry look crossed over Dumbledore’s face and Eliza’s brows furrowed.
“When I was younger” Dumbledore begun, and Eliza sat back in her seat as he seemingly went off on a tangent “I met a boy. He was witty, charming” a strange wistful smile crossed his face “and I do believe that I love him. His name was Gellert”
No way.
“But you will know him by his last name, Grindelwald”
Holy shit.
“I was enthralled by him and his ideas. And I have been carrying my shame and guilt with me for many years. Together we had planned to overthrow the ministry and begin a new order, with wizards on top and muggles subservient beneath us”
She couldn’t believe it.
Dumbledore had almost been a dark lord?
Dumbledore had been with a dark lord? Muggle loving, light wizard, Dumbledore?
“I eventually came to my senses, but not until it was too late” he said regretfully but Eliza didn’t pry. She was lucky he was telling her this much.
“So as you can see my dear girl – you are not the only one to have loved a dark lord and walked away”
The silence hung between them.
“Why are you telling me this?” Eliza asked tiredly and Dumbledore clasped his hands in front of him.
“I think you know Eliza” he said softly but Eliza remained quiet, fixing him with a determined gaze and he sighed heavily.
“Because duelling Gellert was one of the hardest things I have ever done” he spoke, old and tired. Eliza let a reluctant resigned expression flit over her face.
“And I’m going to have to duel Tom, aren’t I?” she asked heavily “You know the prophecy, don’t you?”
Dumbledore nodded and recited it word by words heavily. On the outside Eliza was sure she looked grim, hurt and tired as she listened to Dumbledore but on the inside, she was ecstatic. He had fallen for their plan hook, line and sinker. He was already telling her all his deepest, darkest secrets, he still believed in the prophecy and from now she was sure she would be involved in all of his plans concerning Tom.
He was prepping for a war against ‘Voldemort’
He would never see her and Tom coming.
Dumbledore was staring at her, prophecy recited in full and Eliza met his stare head on before straightening her spine.
“I don’t like you Dumbledore” Eliza said, brutally upfront and honest, a determined expression on her face “and I think you know that. I disagree with most of your principles on a fundamental level. I’m a Slytherin through and through and I know when you look at me sometimes the only thing you see is Tom Riddle” Eliza spoke and silently revelled in the small flinch her words garnered.
“And I don’t blame you” she said wryly and leaned forward with a grim smile “And I know you’re trying to figure out if you can trust me, so let me tell you this;
“My friends, my family? They mean everything to me. Not only did Tom lie to me, play me and trick me – and believe me I don’t take too kindly to betrayal – but he threatens my family with every move he makes” Eliza snarled channelling her ever present anger.
“So no, I don’t like you headmaster, but I can win this war for you. And I will” Eliza declared strongly and Dumbledore looked at her regretfully.
“I never wanted to burden you with any of this” he said gravely and Eliza nodded in acceptance, slumping heavily in her seat.
“No one can outrun fate, professor” she said and smirked inwardly.
Dumbledore sighed and unfolded his hands in front of him, pulling out a bowl of lemon drops from his desk drawer and held one out to her. Eliza took it and popped it in her mouth, scrunching her nose slightly at the bitter sweet.
“Next school year we will begin some private lessons, to prepare you for what is to come” he ordered and Eliza agreed without complaint.
“I’ll join the Order if you let me, but I refuse to let you use my name in the papers. There’s a life beyond this war and I refuse to tarnish the house of Potter in a propaganda play. I can’t risk my place in Slytherin either. For some of those kids I’m the only option between death and the dark lord – I won’t sacrifice that”
“I understand” Dumbledore said gravely although he looked like he wished she’d reconsider.
This was going perfectly. Dumbledore was obviously focusing on the order and possibly Tom’s horcruxes. Of course now they were all aware of Tom’s alias as ‘Thomas Gaunt’ which meant any moves he made in the Wizengamot would be watched closely but now they had multiple people in the governing body to feed other legislation through.
Dumbledore would be too busy to notice the bills they planned on sneaking past, especially if he never became re-appointed as Chief Warlock. No one outside of the order even knew Tom or, well, ‘Voldemort’ was back and without her title Dumbledore couldn’t print anything more than fear mongering.
They could attack from the shadows, silent and seamless and topple Dumbledore before the old man would even spot the betrayal coming.
“Can I go now?” Eliza asked tiredly, running a hand through her ridiculously messy hair, her plait had fallen out three duels ago “I want to catch up on some sleep if you don’t mind”
Dumbledore nodded in response, a patient smile on his face but stopped her before she could stand up from the chair.
“There is just one last order of business to attend to” he said and if she didn’t know any better she would say there was a small hint of amusement in his voice. “What happened to professor Umbridge?”
Eliza let a look of surprise cover her face “She fell into the lake believe it or not” she answered breezily and grabbed another handful of lemon drops, shoving them into her pockets.
“It was a terrible accident, I heard there was a kelpie involved. You can ask the merpeople if you don’t believe me” Eliza pointed out brightly, ignoring Dumbledore’s faint disapproval.
“Goodnight professor, it hasn’t been a pleasure” Eliza said cheerily but paused by the door when she heard Dumbledore call her name behind her.
“And Eliza? Perhaps at one point you were right when you said you reminded me of Tom Riddle” he said seriously “but I know now that I couldn’t be more wrong”
Eliza smiled at the old man and walked away.
She wondered if he would still be thinking that when they murdered him.
~
Her court had stayed up all night waiting for her. Draco and Daphne were both slumped over on the sofa, legs tangled together as they tried to share the small space. Theo, the brains of the group, had conjured up a mattress with a thousand blankets for both him and Blaise and they had both fallen asleep in their blanket fort as they waited for her to arrive.
They all woke up with a start when she tried to quietly slip into the common room. Blaise and Daphne both woke up easily, staring at her with wide-eyes and both Theo and Draco rubbed their eyes blearily, blinking heavily.
“Did it work?” Theo asked sitting up with a yawn. Eliza grinned in response.
“You are now looking at Dumbledore’s closest confidant – the plan went off without a hitch” Eliza declared and threw herself down into the blanket cave “We’re one step closer to winning the war”
Daphne stretched her legs and kicked Draco off the sofa in the process, he fell into their blanket cave with a ‘thump’ and pushed himself up looking rather disgruntled before he turned to face Eliza.
“And what about your extra errand?” he questioned raising an eyebrow and Eliza let out a small laugh.
“Umbridge took a small dip into the black lake – who knows what possessed her to do such thing” Eliza said dramatically as her court’s smiles grew wider and wider “Apparently there was this awful business with a kelpie believe it or not”
Blaise let out a loud laugh “Eliza you batshit homicidal genius!” he choked out between his laughter and Theo snickered quietly by his side.
“I expect they’ll make an announcement about it tomorrow” Eliza replied easily “I’m sure there’ll be a celebration of some kind – even Dumbledore didn’t seem that sad to see her go”
Silence settled around them until Draco broke it tentatively “And Dumbleodre – he believed it all? He thinks you’re on their side?”
Eliza nodded heavily “He’s up to something, both Tom and I knew he was, and now I’m in on it. It won’t be long now”
“It’s strange” Theo said quietly “We all thought all our traditions were gone, the life our parents wanted for us decimated. I never thought I’d see the day where things changed, where everything changed”
“I did tell you” Eliza said quietly “way back in first year, that I was going to change it all”
“You know” Blaise commented “If someone else had told me that I never would have believed them”
“What can I say? I’m a special case” Eliza joked and fell back into the blanket cave with a thud, curling up into the duvets and pillows next to Theo. She would speak to Tom in the morning (I have no need for useless things) but for now all she wanted to do was sleep.
Just before she nodded off she thought she heard Draco’s calm voice above her.
“Special case indeed”
But then she was asleep, her court all around her with a small smile on her face.
Burning flesh beneath her palm – drip, drip, drip, let me help, letmehelp – I’m shit at healing spells, please wake up, please wakeup.
Screams, green light, blood on her hands, too sharp smiles-
Useless
Eliza shot up awake with a gasp, heart pounding in her chest.
Nightmares were unfortunately nothing new to Eliza although it was usually the orphanage that haunted her dreams more than anything. Dark cellars, scratching at the door with bleeding nails, occasionally she was back in the cemetery, corpses burying her as she lost control.
And sometimes her nightmares featured Tom.
Tom in the chamber, Tom dying beneath her hands.
Tom in the ministry, telling her that she was nothing.
It was acting. Logically, she knew they had been acting. Salazar she had even given him some of those lines herself but-
A hand on her cheek, intimate, deadly, I’ve grown tired of you-
She was fine, she was just overreacting.
Eliza knew she had feelings for Tom, she knew Tom must feel something for her and for now she was fine leaving it that way. She was still in Hogwarts, she had a whole country to overthrow and a whole world to see and then she could focus on her feelings, stupid complex irritating feelings.
But Tom’s words had struck a chord in her.
Because what if he did grow tired of her?
What if all of this to him was just a bit of fun to him? Nothing serious, no strings attached.
Eliza wasn’t prepared to dedicate herself to someone who would only see her as a passing trinket.
Hope you enjoyed playing schoolboy, it’s the closest thing you’ll ever get to love.
They had both said things they hadn’t meant to. But she and Tom, they were never supposed to be easy.
Sighing heavily Eliza shoved Blaise’s arm off her and started heading towards her dorm room. It was about 7am, breakfast would be out in a few hours and Eliza desperately needed a shower. Blood still rested in the cracks of her palms. But first she needed to speak to Tom.
Grabbing the journal from beneath her pillow Eliza grabbed the ink and quill she kept on her desk and opened it up to the next blank page.
Dumbledore bought the whole thing, it worked out a lot better than I thought.
The reply was almost instantaneous and Eliza wondered if he had been waiting up to hear from her.
Do go on darling
He wants to give me ‘private lessons’ next year so I assume he’s after the horcruxes which can only work in our favour she scrawled back hurriedly.
He’s not moving back into politics?
Not as far as I know
Eliza gasped as she remembered what else they had discussed and almost knocked her ink pot over in her hurry to write back to Tom.
You’ll never guess what I found out as well.
Consider me intrigued.
Dumbledore used to be in a relationship with Gellert Grindelwald
Eliza could feel Tom’s dumbfounded shock through the bond.
What the buggering fuck?
Merlin, Eliza could count the times Tom had sworn on one hand and still have fingers left over.
I know! He told me himself, he used to believe in muggle subjugation and everything?? He was going to take over the world with Grindelwald.
If this got out it would ruin him, no-one would trust him at all.
We’d need to be careful – if he thought I was the one who sold him out then all our work would be ruined.
But still – this is an amazing discovery little star
Eliza sat in silence, staring at the page blankly as she gnawed on her bottom lip. A few minutes went by before the journal heated up again.
Are you okay Eliza?
Eliza felt herself smile slightly at his obvious worry, if she focused enough she thought she could sense a faint nervousness coming from Tom’s side of the bond and that only made her smile grow.
I’m fine, just the usual nightmares. Are you okay?
Fine little star, revelling in our latest victory.
Eliza snorted slightly and went to pack her journal away when she felt it heat up one last time.
And Eliza?
I don’t think I could ever tire of you.
~
The last week of the year passed by quickly.
The news that Umbridge had ‘mysteriously’ disappeared was met with one of the most outrageous celebrations yet. It lasted for days and Eliza was sure even the teachers joined in on the revelry. Flitwick had roped off a section of Fred and George’s portable swamp on the fourth floor to commemorate an ‘excellent piece of charms work’
But soon the dreaded day arrived.
Careers day part two.
Eliza skipped into Severus’ office, the man in question desperately trying to hide the fact that he was hungover.
“Did McGonagall drink you under the table again?” Eliza asked in lieu of a greeting and Severus glared at her halfheartedly, giving a small nod of his head before realising what he had just admitted and back-tracking.
“I assume you’re here for a reason and not just here to annoy me”
“Can I not do both?” Eliza responded, digging around in her bag as she teased him.
“I wish you didn’t”
Eliza snorted slightly before she slammed an open notebook onto the table in front of Severus, a small card slipped in the middle of the pages.
“You told me to come back at the end of the year with a career, I didn’t quite manage that” she explained, slipping into the seat across from him “None of those glossy pamphlets appealed to me. I don’t want an office job, I’m not made to be a healer or an academic and merlin forbid I become an auror” Eliza rattled on and Severus grew increasingly more exasperated.
“Are you reaching a point?” he cut in, rubbing his temple distractedly and Eliza grinned.
“When I was younger I had this, check-list. Everything I was going to do when I was older when I had nothing holding me back” Eliza explained and Severus’s eyes softened slightly “I decided to recreate it”
Frowning slightly Severus moved the notebook closer to him and Eliza watched as he read through it.
To-Do list (a magical upgrade)
1) Graduate Hogwarts with record breaking NEWT’s
2) Pick up house rings and visit Potter Manor
7) Travel to Egypt, study magic
13) Magizoologist tour of the Amazon
14) Learn from the witches’ of New Orleans
18) Find a runespoor
22) Visit Gordric’s Hollow
28) Buy own apartment
29) Buy house plant for apartment
Severus returned her notebook to her with a hint of a smile that Eliza returned happily.
“And do you plan to use your inheritance to support yourself or are you pursuing anything else?”
Eliza wrinkled up her nose at the mention of her inheritance. Some, like Sirius, were more than happy to use their family money to support themselves but Eliza would prefer to make her own money. The Potter’s were a family of inventors and traders and Eliza fully intended to continue that legacy.
Grinning crookedly Eliza reached down back into her bag and started pulling out prototypes of all the things she’d created over the years. One after another she plonked them down on the desk, the animal figurines that acted like a foe glass, the rings embedded with the protego charms. She pulled out a collection of rune stones and her magic eight ball and laid them all out on the table as Severus stared at her completely baffled.
“What is all this?” he asked with a sigh.
“At the risk of sounding like a mad scientist” Eliza said, secretly quite pleased with the fact that at least Severus would understand her odd muggle phrases “These are my inventions”
Severus snorted quietly but studied them with a wide-eyed interest.
“Now of course the rune-stones use blood magic, I’ve not been able to show them to anybody properly as they’re illegal” Eliza explained but then shoved her magic eight ball forward “but I showed this to my runes examiner, go ahead, try it out”
Severus picked it up, looking at her with furrowed brows.
“I assumed you’d know how it works”
Severus shot her a glare before he shook the eight-ball slightly.
“Will Eliza Potter return my missing hangover cure potions?”
The glass swirled and Eliza smirked largely when the words ‘not likely’ appeared in the sphere. Severus blinked in shock, looking at her in amazement.
“And it works ever time?”
“It used runic divination so it can only give vague inclinations which I translated into text, but it works 87% of the time. I got Draco to work it out”
Severus’ eyebrows rose even further.
“My runes examiner gave me this card” Eliza explained sliding the card across the table “She thinks the second I get my runes mastery I could start my own business selling my inventions” she said with a pleased smug grin before she grew serious.
“You told me to think of a life outside the war, and I have done. I wouldn’t be able to cope with a boring old office job. Ever since I was little, I’ve wanted to make a place for myself in the world, to be remembered. I know you told me to pick an actual career, but I honestly think this could work and-
Severus cut off her ramblings by reaching over and setting his large hand on top of hers, a proud smile on his face.
“Eliza, you’ve always achieved whatever you’ve set your mind too and this will be no different. Travel the world, get your mastery, start up your own business
“And just know, that I’m incredibly proud of you”
Eliza leaped to her feet and hugged the man.
~
Eliza had started this year crawling the walls with how bored she was and now that the year had ended she couldn’t quite believe how fast it had gone. She had packed up her trunk, emptied the dorm and boarded the Hogwarts express with her court.
“Who won the bet by the way?” Eliza asked and conversation paused around them.
“You’re going to have to be a lot more specific about that Eliza” Draco cut in, wrestling a chocolate frog off Blaise.
“The bet on what would happen to Umbridge”
Blaise burst into laughter and Draco took his moment of distraction to steal the chocolate frog from him, the blonde chomped down on the chocolate victoriously.
“You’ll never believe who got it right” Blaise chortled, and Eliza raised an eyebrow in question.
“It was Astoria-
“No way”
The train ride passed far too quickly and soon they had pulled into Kings Cross. They were already making plans to meet again before they had even split up. Blaise was returning to Italy for a few weeks to pack up more of things. He’s been moving out of his house bit by bit and had most of things stored in a room at Malfoy Manor. Eliza had offered him a room in Grimmauld, she would kill the entire order herself if they dared to make one of her court feel uncomfortable, and Blaise had thanked her with a smile, promising to drop in on her birthday.
She had hugged Daphne goodbye before she jumped off the train and the girl was immediately swallowed up by the crowd along with her sister. Theo and Draco walked her over to Remus and Sirius who was yelling for her through the crowd and Eliza giggled slightly at Remus’ perfectly done expression.
“Pup” Sirius greeted bringing her in for a hug “Little Malfoy, Little Nott” he greeted her friends respectively and even went as far to ruffle the boys’ hair which they accepted with as much grace as they could muster. Remus apologised to them behind Sirius’ back.
“I’ll come by and visit you both soon okay?” Eliza said, wrapping an arm around each boy, standing on her tip toes to reach their shoulders.
“Stay out of trouble” Theo warned with a small smile.
“Or if you do remember to invite us along” Draco ended with a wink and the two disappeared into the crowd leaving her with Sirius and Remus.
“It’s good to see you Eliza” Remus wished warmly and Eliza rolled her eyes, bringing the werewolf in for a hug.
Eliza had told Severus about the old to-do list she used to have, had even showed him her new one. But there was one box that she had kept a secret. In the back of both her journals she had written the same thing.
She had been nine, just let out of the cellar, clinging to a blanket an trying to hide back tears and she had written shakily in the back of her beaten up notebook, number?) find a family.
When she made her new to-do list she had written out that box again, using ink and parchment instead of muggle gel pen. And now she could finally tick it off.
Because family wasn’t just blood and bone. Family was a surly potions professor who was essentially her uncle, a proud uncle, who was happy to watch her grow up. Family was the Malfoy’s – Narcissa and Lucius and Draco who she loved like a brother. Family was Theo and Blaise and Daphne who had been her friends since first year and were now so much more. Family was Sirius and Remus, who stood by her, and looked after her, and loved her.
Her fifth year at Hogwarts was over, and Eliza had never felt better.