"Change of plan." Kim said, while Porchay was ready to jump into the car.
The young boy couldn't stop thinking of his brother, he had, absolutely had, to be sure that he was doing good. He also needed to understand better what was happening, what happened. Many questions were hitting his head, he kept a bitter taste in his mouth from the lies but after his fear spread through his whole existence for a too long time, his soft side was winning over him.
Not now.
Porchay rolled his eyes and stared grumpily at Kim. "What?"
"I got a better plan." Kim said, taking him by the hand and walking back inside of the house. Porchay followed, loving that his hand looked perfect into Kim's palm, not too big, just the right shape and length, just bringing their life together skin to skin. He tried to not let this sudden hand to hand touch make his heart weaker.
"P'Kim, you told me that we could go to your house!"
"Too dangerous."
Porchay chuckled mockingly. "Yeah, yeah."
Kim's face was filled with anger and worries, his lips were hidden into a thin line and he looked like he was biting his own tongue. Porchay stopped his annoyed behaviour and softened his expression, squeezing his man's hand.
"Come here." Kim relaxed, pulling Porchay to sit on the sofa. He faced him and took both of his hands in his own. "Listen, I can't let you go there. I thought about it again and again but I can't let you just walk into my worst enemy's place like this..."
"Your what?" Porchay asked, letting his thumb caress over Kim's fingers and it looked as if it worked, Kim's body going from extremely tense to somehow less frozen.
"My father." He coldly whispered.
Porchay's heart felt another punch hurting his stomach. Enemy and father weren't two words often put together. The boy didn't know, didn't meet his father but Porsche had said how tender he was, how protective. And then there was Kim, acting like this, two worlds colliding, though he hoped for Kim to stay away as far from his original one as possible. It wasn't the time to try to talk more, or to negotiate. Porchay was running out of patience about his brother, he needed to witness him being alive. Now.
"P'Kim, what did you think then?"
"Chay...before...promise me one thing, can you promise me one thing?" Kim asked and seeing his shaking pupils, Porchay just nodded, he didn't have to have the question worded to understand how important it was to Kim. "Please, whatever, and I said whatever happens, please, do not stay alone with him, never."
"I promise." Porchay whispered, getting closer and kissing Kim's cheek. He blushed, he became pink and for a moment he forgot that they still had his mission to do.
"So..." Kim shily said. "So...I heard from one of the bodyguards that Kinn and Porsche were still not home, they have to stay at the hospital for some days."
Porchay titled his mind at the mention of "Kinn and Porsche". They looked like strangers, it felt as if they were some with the way Kim talked about them, some information for a plan. The boy sighed, he couldn't stop doubting him, he couldn't and it repeatedly played like a drum in his heart, a really chaotic and not soothing melody.
"I will let you go to Porsche." Kim said, one of his hands raising and caressing Porchay's head. He didn't look like he really loved his own idea. "Big, one of the bodyguards will let you, with him you will be able to reach Porsche...and maybe Kinn."
"I can just walk...inside?"
"You can."
"And you? Where will you be? Isn't it dangerous inside?" Porchay asked, feeling that his courage had slept and didn't agree to wake up this time.
"I will be near. If anything happens I will be near but nothing will." He said, smiling. They had the luck to work on Porchay, his lips moving up. "Big will bring you to me as soon as you will be ready to go."
"And?" Porchay asked, finding it endearing how Kim seemed to have something to add but wouldn't begin.
"And I would like you to give a paper to Kinn...so we can communicate..."
"Am I like...a suitcase?" Porchay asked, disappointment showing on his face.
"No...Chay...Chay, tell me what you think now...why are you so down suddenly?"
Porchay pouted some more, bit his lips before confessing in a really low voice. "I just...feel like...an information...like I am useful to you as I should have been when you...you..." He stopped talking, Kim pushed him in his arms tightly, one hand on his hair, the other keeping his waist close. The younger boy was just snuggling quietly. He felt that he had to talk, that he couldn't keep it for himself because he could snap, he could and the last time he did he wished for Kim's death. He didn't want to let emotions, bad and over thought emotions, take the lead. He embraced Kim himself, he was addicted to those hugs, he was addicted to that warmth, to that body. He could stay like this for hours, he was sure, he might ask after if everything goes well, if they could cuddle, endlessly cuddle, like they did in Porchay's bed the past days.
"I swear. It's nothing like this..." Kim murmured and Porchay was the one to calm Kim down.
"I am sorry, it's okay P'Kim." He whispered, kissing his cheek again. His round cheek, he loved his cheek too, so much. "I just...it's just hard to not think like this..."
Kim nodded, pulling Porchay's face close and just resting their nose against each other. "You can always...tell me..."
"And you tell me."
"Though, I still didn't tell you the most important part..." Kim mostly laughed saying this, he mostly already mocked the idea and it didn't reassure Porchay.
-
"P'Kim, are you sure about this?" Porchay asked from the bathroom.
"I am sure Chay...they will precisely check everything on you."
"But not in my boxers..." Porchay opened the door, a really unsatisfied expression on his face. Kim giggled, he couldn't stop his laugh coming back and forth.
"I'm sorry...I really am." He tried to convince Porchay but his stare said that he wasn't, not even a second.
"Tsss...will they really not look there?"
"Well...it can happen, it might have happened, but to be fair Chay, you're just Porsche's brother. They have no reason to be on a high guard level with you."
"I hope..." Porchay sighed, it was written on his face that he had something hidden on him, it was making him carry a secret. He didn't like this.
"You will do so great." Kim reassured him.
"P'Kim...it scratches." He whined in discomfort and Kim laughed again, kissing his forehead. He loved his sunshine so much. He didn't smile that much for some hours for years.
Deep inside, Kim hated this. He didn't want to have Porchay too close to his family or the business. However, it would be easy to let this look like just a worried little brother. A brother who was present when Porsche got kidnapped. If he ever had to explain, Big could lie. He was in the least possible confidence. He could lie about going there to check and finding Porchay in distress. It wouldn't seem weird, at least for most of them. But he hated it. He wanted to catch his arm, to get rid of the paper, maybe not that part himself, and shield Porchay, not throw him under the bus like now when he was seeing him approaching the hospital and disappearing.
The chills appeared under his skin.
--
Big was silent. The man was walking next to Porchay and he had no idea about him. He just reminded him of the action movie he had seen, himself playing in. And it was easier to see it like a movie and not as if he had a secret message in his boxers. They walked through multiple guards' cheeks and Big had to talk for a moment before they could reach an empty corridor, some guards here.
It was cold. So freezing. Porchay hated their perfect hair and perfect clothes. They couldn't breathe too loud, but needed their aura to be heavy. It didn't taste like sugar, like Porsche. It wasn't a comfortable and warm environment. Porchay just wanted to find his brother quickly but they had come around a room before Big had to look for another one and then it was even more complicated. He was glad that Kim had the boxers idea because he had been inch by inch checked, facing the last door. Big turned around.
"Khun Kinn is inside with your brother, don't be suspicious or don't do anything stupid." He said, knocking on the door, his eyes hinting that he knew something was up. Kim was involved.
A low voice was heard. "Big? I told you to let us, I hope it's an emergency."
"We can call it this Khun Kinn, Porsche's little brother is here." He did a sign for Porchay to come inside and closed the door behind them.
Only some seconds were enough for the boy to be pulled by the arms on a bed. A huge bed, enough for at least four people. Porchay just fell, not realising before raising his head and meeting his Hia's face.
"Chay! Are you okay?" He asked, hugging him a little tightly.
And he could only whine positively, like a whisper, some tears appearing, overwhelmed, his brother was here, alive, he could even hear his heart beating. Porsche kissed his hair before another voice let out a kind of cough to remind them that they weren't alone. Porchay gasped, standing again like a rock, his body not moving at all.
"H-Hi..." He said Kinn was intimidating him. He had a calm but narrowed expression as if his life was full of dark streets no one wanted to walk on.
"Shhh...Chay...don't be scared, he doesn't need to be scared right?" Porsche turned to Kinn, a smirk on his face.
"No he doesn't." Kinn sighed. "I am Kinn."
"I know." Porchay let out sighing, his head turning pale.
"Chay? Why are you not even surprised to find me here? With all of those men?" Porsche looked at him, suspicious. "Wait? Did you witness the kidnapping?" He worriedly added.
Porchay nodded, silently. And the big brother's reflex took over, engulfing him again in his arms. "I am sorry, I am so sorry..."
"I am still...angry..." Porchay murmured.
"Angry?"
"I know...everything...Hia..."
"Everything?" Kinn was the one to ask.
"Yes, mafia boss..." Porchay pouted grumpily, staring right at Kinn.
It made the two adults open their mouths, speechless.
"Chay...I-"
"No, not now." Porchay sat next to him on the bed. "I would have more to...confess too." He blushed lightly. "But for now." Porchay turned around and opened his pants confusing the both of them and even more when he turned back with a small plastic bag.
"I will...do it." He smiled embarrassed, opening the bag and taking out a paper. "This is from P'Kim."
Kinn took it immediately, discovering his brother's writing.
"Wait what does this mean? Did someone tell you to freaking be a flying pigeon for this message? Who? When?"
Porchay giggled, he was ready to just say more but a knock made him stop. Kinn hid the paper away and Porsche's hand naturally shielded his brother's body.
"Yes?" Kinn answered. It was Big.
"We need to go now."
"Now? Now?" Porchay pouted, staring at his brother.
"Now." Big took a stronger voice.
"I will be back to you soon, I promise." Porsche hugged him before letting Porchay go and walk outside.
"The fuck was this?" He asked Kinn, not in the mood anymore for cuddling this man he thought he was in love with, not anymore because his Porchay had been put on the chess game, he hated this.
--
"How did it go?" Kim asked, but first he pulled Porchay in his arms. His heart was racing fast. He learnt at a young age that getting close, too close to his family was the bestest way to either lose yourself or die. Kim had waited patiently and kept an eye on everyone coming inside or near the place. His whole body was now breaking down, tension leaving his body at the view of Big and Porchay, and his attention relaxing when he could hug him. He had been scared but he was feeling that now that his boy was so close and solar to his heart, it would be a never ending spiral of worries.
"Well...it went well..." Porchay answered, leaning into that chest. "By the way...what did you write on the paper?"
"You didn't look at it?" Kim asked, surprised. Porchay just denied with his head. Kim kissed his forehead softly, hugging him tighter for some minutes again.
How refreshing it was to be trusted this way by the small butterfly who landed on the darkest flower but chose to stay.