~Elsa~
Despite only sleeping for a few hours, I was more awake than I've ever been before. Not only did I have the time of my life with Jack last night, but tonight is also the revival of my aunt and uncle's Christmas Eve party. My thoughts are happy, my heart is happy, my soul is happy. I am happy. It's the greatest feeling in the world. It was so hard for me to sleep when Jack brought me back home because of it. My mind was too excited about today and was still gushing over mine and Jack's pond date.
"Snowflakes fall and so did I."
What a poetic little sap he is. That has got to be the most romantic thing he has ever said to me. I was too stunned to speak, so I had kissed him instead. Showing him my response rather than telling him. He seemed to enjoy that very much. But my goodness, was it ever so hard to find sleep. All I did was repeat everything that had happened and would occasionally think about the party. And as my family and I rallied up the finishing touches for the party, I still continued to think about last night's romantic adventure.
"I can't take it anymore!"
I lifted my head up to see what caused my sister to freak, but was confused when she was looking at me. "Uh...you okay, sis?" We were in the middle of putting together goodie bags for the children–her, Rapunzel, and I–and surprisingly it is not an easy job.
"No," Anna whispers, keeping her voice low so no maid, butler, or Rapunzel's parents hear. "I want to know what happened last night. You had Rapunzel and I keep watch for you while you snuck out to be with Jack, and you have yet to give us details. We're gonna be busy tonight and I can't keep waiting. Tell me now, woman!"
"Oh thank god," says Punzie, relieved. "I've been wanting to ask, but didn't want to pry. Plus, I knew Anna would get to it first, but then when she didn't, I was starting to think I had dreamt it all. How did it go? What did you guys do?" She wiggles her eyebrows and her tone was suggestive. It didn't help that she added a wink, making me blush.
"Rapunzel," I hissed, embarrassed, "whatever you're thinking we did, I can assure you we didn't do. We haven't made it that far like you and Flynn." I knew they hadn't done it yet because she obviously would have told Anna and I, but I couldn't help but jab back at her.
Rapunzel blushes red this time and goes back to stuffing her goodie bag. "Ha. Ha. How dare you embarrass me when I'm trying to embarrass you. For shame."
And poor Anna. She thought we were serious. "Wait, Rapunzel, oh my god, did you and Flynn have–"
"NO!" Rapunzel cries out. "Definitely not. I'm not ready for that."
"Neither am I." I say.
But I won't lie. The thought has crossed my mind occasionally.
"And if you're really that scared to say anything in case someone hears," Anna pulls out her phone, "Just text it to us."
I shake my head "Too much to type." I mean, granted, I've written long paragraphs before, but last night...ah! I'm not sure if I can even put it into words, typed or spoken.
"Pleeeaaassseee," Anna begs, tilting her head back. "I'm begging you! I must knoooowwwww!"
And of course, I give in. She can be pretty persuasive. That, or I am just easy when it comes to her. "Okay, fine. But we're taking everything to my room."
Anna and Rapunzel both squeal in excitement and help me gather up everything. We tried our best to sneak away to my room with all the stuff, but we were, to no surprise, caught by my aunt. I was expecting this since she, my uncle (as well as ourselves) and the staff have been running around everywhere with decorations. I was just hoping that luck would be on our side and we'd have an easy get away.
"What are you girls up to?" Aunt Arianna asks, looking at each of us and then noticing the goodie bags and candy. She seemed to have an idea and didn't approve. Crossing her arms and giving us a stern look, she says: "You three better not be sneaking away to eat that candy. It's for the children tonight."
Like I said, though. I was expecting to be caught. "We're not going to eat them, Auntie. My back hurts so I'm going to finish up in my room on my bed."
"Ditto!" Rpaunzel and Anna say in unison. Sometimes it's like they're twins.
"Hmm," my aunt does not look convinced, "I believe you, Elsa, but it's these two I'm skeptical of." She pointed to her daughter and niece, who looked offended, and I had to bite down a laugh.
"How rude," Rapunzel says, but she knows her mom is joking. "And on Christmas Eve, too. Santa would be ashamed."
"No," says her mother, "He'd be ashamed if you really did eat the candy. Now hurry up. Gabriel Agreste and Edna will be here soon to deliver your dresses."
We parted ways, acting as natural as possible, but once she was out of sight, the three of us basically sprinted to my room, the two of them laughing, and me trying to shush them (while also laughing). Once we made it inside my room, they were quick to settle on my bed.
"Okay, now start!" Anna urges.
I sit down between them and throw myself back, sighing dreamily. "It was probably the best night I've ever had with him."
"Yet." Rapunzel adds as she lays down too.
"So what did you do?" Asks Anna, laying down as well. "Where did you go?"
"Well," I prepared myself for their wild reactions, "He took me back to the pond." I pause, letting them sink in the information. Sure enough, their jaws drop.
"Like the pond?!" Rapunzel asks, eyes wide.
"I don't remember the pond," says Anna, her eyes just as big, "but I'm going to take a guess and say it's the one where everything happened. The one where I...where Jack's dad...um...well this is awkward." She laughs, nervously, and tugs at her braid. Then says: "Wait, so was it awkward for you too? Being back over there? Surely, that must have caused a bad reaction.
I rub my neck, sheepishly. "Um...yeah. I might have had a breakdown and cried a bit."
"WHAT–" Both girls cried out, sitting up now, but I quickly continued.
"But it's okay," I said as I sat up as well. "He showed me some of his baby pictures and told me stories, which helped calm me down. He even got me a christmas gift, which was a pair of brand new skates, and you would not believe what I did."
"What did you do?!" They both say.
"I skated on the pond again," I answer, my smile bigger than the Cheshire Cat's, "And I ended up successfully doing a triple axel. In brand new skates! I turned a place that was a bad memory into a good one. And Jack...ugh! It was so romantic. He had put Christmas lights on the trees and said all the right words. I mean, if I'm being honest, I ended up liking that surprise better than what was done for my birthday."
My sister and cousin 'awwed'.
"That's so romantic. I'm still gushing about the lanterns that Flynn brought the other night. Flynn and Jack are literally husband-material," Rapunzel says, a happy smile on her face and a glazed look over her eyes. No doubt thinking of her boyfriend.
"So is Kristoff," says Anna, making Rapunzel gasp and me wide-eyed. She notices our reaction and looks horrified. "I mean...his favorite shirt is made out of material that all husbands wear. Duuuhhh! Husband-material. Get with the program, ladies."
Rapunzel and I look at each other, having a silent conversation that went something like this. You think she's in love?...Oh absolutely.
"Anna," I start, being calm in case she freaks out because, hello, this is my sister we're talking about. "Are you finally going to come clean and admit your crush on him?"
Anna sighs in defeat, hanging her head low. "Okay, well...um...so how do I say this? Um...technically he already knows. Well, actually, I didn't say anything about me liking him exactly, but I did kiss him–"
This time it's me who chimes in unison with Rapunzel. "WHAT?!"
But Anna continues, completely ignoring us. "So I assume he knows that I feel the same about him. Rapunzel, I know you and Flynn had kissed a few times and somehow stayed friends for awhile, but everyone basically considered you a couple already until you guys became official. Which is what Kristoff and I would like to do, except this time we're gonna actually date each other. Just no labels yet, ya know? And you know, I'm actually really glad Hans didn't kiss me during our brief relationship. I'd be devastated if he was the one that took my first kiss. But yeah, so Kristoff should know that I care deeply about him, but we're not boyfriend-girlfriend. Like, we're dating, yes, but we're not official. I don't want to put a label on us yet. I want to take things slow and do things right, and he's totally okay with it. I told him that we don't have to be secretive either, but that if people ask, we'd be honest and say that we're not official at the moment. Just daters."
And I don't know how my cousin was able to recover from all that information, but she seemingly does, and asks: "But what if people think you're just using him? You know how Chloe can be. She'd think you are utterly ridiculous for dating someone but not being official with them. She might end up calling you names. Like..." Rapunzel pauses, thinking of her words wisely. "Harlot. And its synonyms."
Anna laughs. "Chloe can shove it. It's none of her business and she has no say in my love life. But," she looks at me, "I would like to hear what you two think. Your opinions do matter to me."
I knew she was referencing Hans and how I flipped out at her. How she flipped out on me. We both should have behaved better then. But right now, I know that she and I have matured beautifully. "Well," I say, thinking about it deeply, "I certainly wasn't expecting any of that. However, I'm glad you're doing the whole no-label thing. The two of you dating, but not being official is basically just a practice run to see if it's something you really want with him. Just make sure you have boundaries and communicate. Some people in this situation would continue to date other people–"
"Oh, absolutely not," Anna interrupts, appalled, "I would never do that to him."
"I know you wouldn't, but would he do that to you?" I knew he wouldn't, but I had to make sure she was asking the right questions. "We all know he wouldn't either, but there's no harm in creating that boundary anyway and having conversations."
"Agreed," says Rapunzel, nodding. "And you must also tell us immediately when you feel you are ready to make it official with him! Imagine the triple dates we can have!"
Anna laughs. "Could we still not do that while Kristoff and I are in this practice run?"
Rapunzel shakes her head. "Nope. It's better if you guys have one-on-one dates with each other until you guys make it official."
Anna groans and throws herself back onto my bed again. "But I want to have a triple date."
"Well, you can always do a double date with Hiccup and Astrid," Rapunzel teases, "at the point they're at, they might as well be unofficially dating too. They've been talking and sitting next to each other a lot more. Hiccup seems to be getting more bold and Astrid, dare I say it, more soft. However, she does have a soft spot for Christmas time, so that could probably be it. Also, if she offers you any homemade eggnog, do not drink it."
I made a mental note not to do that, while Anna groaned again. "Uuuggghhh I don't care about eggnog. I care about my new ship. Now that Jelsa and Flynzel are official, I need a new couple to gush over. Astrid doesn't understand how cute they'd be together."
I knew of Astrid's crush, remembering the night at the Snuggly Duckling when we were secretly texting each other and she admitted it to me. It is not my place or right to give them that information. I know we tell each other everything (well now we do), and while I know they're good at keeping secrets and wouldn't say anything (Anna is questionable sometimes though), it still wouldn't be right to tell them. I don't want to break Astrid's trust. Even if they truly don't end up saying anything, I'd still feel really bad.
"Maybe she will one day," I say, optimistically for her. "Then, when Rapunzel, Flynn, Jack, and I graduate and go to college, you'll have Hiccstrid to keep you and Kristoff company."
Anna giggles, liking the idea. "That sounds nice. Hopefully Astrid realizes soon. Her and Hiccup are meant to be."
"I hope Merida doesn't mind it," says Rapunzel, worriedly. "Astrid has plenty of friends, but Merida is her bestest friend. Her last best friend–Heather–didn't end well. I don't want her to go through another loss like that."
"You know," Anna starts, deep in thought, "Heather doesn't really seem so bad, but why she's friends with Chloe and Lara and Lila and whoever else is in the mean girls group, I'll never understand. I've never actually seen Heather be mean. Sure, there was that fight, but technically she leaped in to help Chloe who was getting her ass beat–"
"Language," I interrupt. Anna gives me a look that says Seriously? and continues on.
"But anyway, back to Hiccup and Astrid," she says, grinning, "I'm going to make it my mission next semester to get them together."
Rapunzel giggles while I roll my eyes. "I think instead of playing matchmaker, you should focus on you and Kristoff to see if an official relationship is what you want."
"Wait, oh my god," Rapunzel interrupts, looking shocked and amused, "Does this make you two friends with benefits?"
Anna's face blushes immediately, her mind going somewhere dirty, and I burst into laughter. "So scandalous, sister."
Still red in the face, she straightens her posture. "No, we are not friends with benefits, we...are a situationship."
"Oh, that's even worse," I tease and her blush deepened.
"Okay, enough about me," she declares, "We're gonna talk about my plans to get Hiccup and Astrid together."
And so, she babbles on while the three of us continue making the goodie bags, and at some point I zone her out, my thoughts consisting of our two friends that she;s talking about. Astrid and I haven't talked about her crush on Hiccup since she first admitted it to me, and while I gave her the okay to talk to me about any of her troubles, she hasn't done so. We mainly talk about school drama and send memes to each other. I wonder how she's dealing with it. If I'm correct, this might be her first crush.
Ha...been there.
I wonder if she'll be a stronger fighter than me and successfully fight off her crush.
Or perhaps she'll give in like I had.
I guess we'll have to wait and see.
.
.
.
~Astrid~
"I still can't believe how jolly you are."
I stop scratching Toothless's belly to lift my head up. Hiccup and I were currently sitting under a tree in his secret cove area, deep in the woods where he keeps Toothless. My third time coming out here with him, I had brought red paint so we could mark the trees that lead up to the cove. I did not want to risk us ever getting lost, and felt that marking the trees would keep us safe. Better to be safe than sorry. Especially because I knew I'd be coming out here a lot. Creating marks would make it easier for us to find our way in and find our way out. I've lost count of how many times it's been now.
Hiccup was unsure at first, scared that someone else would notice and find Toothless, but I assured him that Toothless would be able to protect himself. He's a wolf after all. He might have three legs and a prosthetic, but he's still a huge canine. Hiccup had said before that he and Toothless started off rocky, and I'll never forget our first encounter either. Now that he and Hiccup are bonded, he won't be friendly with anyone unless Hiccup says it's okay.
Anyway, as I said before, I don't know what number today's visit is. I've visited so many times that I've lost track. I like to visit as much as I can because 1) it's not everyday you get to hang around a purebred, wild wolf and 2) I wanted to see this side of Hiccup more. A side that's more bold and confident in himself. A complete opposite of how he is at school. I've always seen potential in him, but hated that he always self-sabotages himself. Seeing him proudly tell me about how he made Toothless a prosthetic leg proved to me of his potential, and that he knew he had it too. It annoyed me that he didn't pursue it, but sometimes people need a supporter to help give them a push.
And I didn't mind being that for him.
But look where that got me.
I formed a crush on him.
One I refuse to acknowledge at all.
I know Hiccup feels the same, but a relationship with my best friend's cousin is a bad idea. I'm pretty sure it's in the Girl Code to not date a best friend's relative. If it's not then it sure is in my Code Book. I think Merida would agree. But then again, she makes comments about Hiccup and I so much that I'm starting to think she wants us to be together.
And us being together is an absolute hell no. Nothing against Hiccup at all, but it's like I said. A bad idea. If things don't end well with him and I as a couple, it could affect my friendship with Merida. Plus, we both got our education to focus on, especially since he wants to be a Veterinarian who makes prosthetic limbs for animals. That's a lot of education right there.
"Huh?" I say, as I took my earphone out. Hiccup has a pair of wired earphones and offered me one side to listen to some music, while he wore the other. I thought it was sweet of him, and I wanted to say no, but...I've been finding it hard to do that lately. Honestly, I'm not sure if saying no is what I want anymore. And that's what scares me.
Because let's say that he's bold enough to ask me out. I don't think I could say no. And then boom! Relationship formed. That's what I'm trying not to do. Key word: trying.
Hiccup points to my ugly Christmas sweater, a piece of clothing that Gobber gave me when I was young. It was oversized by a lot then, and it still is now. Now, though, since I'm ten years older, I fit it a bit better, at least to the point where my hands actually reach out of the sleeve. It's still oversized tho and still very ugly. But it's a Christmas tradition that I wear with pride. It gets my friends laughing with me. "Your sweater. You wear it every year. And the music we're listening to...I knew you liked Christmas, because who doesn't, but I didn't take you for a Christmas Music kind of girl."
I smile. "Would you believe that I also am a sucker for Hallmark movies?"
Hiccup's eyes widened in shock. "You're kidding!"
I burst into laughter. "No, for real! It started off being something I would do for shits and giggles, and I still do laugh from time to time because of how bad the acting is, but I don't know...for some reason they're addicting. The stories are pretty much all the same, but I love them."
"Wow," and it doesn't surprise me that he's surprised. I was surprised too when I found out how much I actually enjoyed them. "I didn't take you for a romantic either."
I feel my cheeks heat up. "Yeah, well," I didn't know how to respond, so I ended up threatening him, "If you value your teeth and tongue, I wouldn't say anything to anyone."
But instead of being scared or disturbed, Hiccup laughs. Am I not being menacing enough? Or is he at the point with me now where he just smiles and nods at my empty threats? "My lips are sealed, mi'lady."
Both of our eyes widened at the random nickname, no, endearment, and before I could say anything Hiccup was already stammering. "I'm sorry; I don't know why I said that. Well, I mean, I do know why but uh...I won't do it again. It's not a proper nickname anyway. Not that you're not a lady or anything, actually you're so much more to me, to everyone! Especially to Merida, but it's such an old nickname and–"
I put my finger on his lips to stop him. His face turned red immediately, and I knew it was from my action rather than the cold. I'm probably blushing too because holy hell is this a bold move. His lips are cold against my finger and I couldn't help but wonder how quickly they'd warm up against my own. I might be bold, but I'm not that bold.
"I like it." I say as I remove my finger and getting rid of all thoughts of kissing him. "It's old fashioned, but that's what makes it different. I like different."
I like you.
But of course, I'm not going to say that.
Hiccup flashes a toothy smile. "So, um, back to what we were saying. You like Christmas movies, ugly Christmas sweaters, Christmas music, and I'm gonna assume Christmas baking too? I know all about your eggnog that I need to try out."
"It's literally the best!"
Hiccup smiles again. "I also know you like to decorate. I watched you put up all your outdoor Christmas decorations a month ago–"
"And you didn't help me?" I interrupt, keeping my tone playful so he wouldn't get weird, thinking he offended me. "How rude."
Hiccup rubs his neck, embarrassed. Damn it, Hiccup. Don't get weird. I want to be playful with you, but not if you get weird. "I'm sorry. I thought about it, I really did, but..." he lifts his arm and shakes it. "I'm a walking fishbone. I don't think I would have been much help. And believe it or not, I really do try to not embarrass myself all the time. Especially in front of you."
I couldn't help the laugh that came out of me. "Yeah, a talking, walking fishbone is definitely accurate." I squeeze his twig-like arm and Hiccup fakes a frown, the muscles of his mouth working hard to be upside down.
"Feeling me up is highly inappropriate."
Another laugh escapes me, but I felt my face heat up. I chose to ignore it. "You know you like it."
And yes, sometimes I find myself flirting with him. I know I shouldn't. I don't want to lead him on. I don't want to lead me on, but sometimes I can't help it. He's cute when he blushes, which he's doing now. "I have no comment."
I punch his shoulder then, making him groan out in pain. "Why would you do that?!"
And the truth is, I don't really know. Sometimes I wonder if it's because I'm keeping my feelings inside and need a non-romantic/flirtatious way of release. Like punching. "Why not?" I shrug.
"Oh, I don't know," His voice drips in sarcasm and I like it. I like that he's getting braver and braver with me. That he's being witty with someone who he knows can kick his ass. I like that he's being himself. That's all I ever wanted him to be around me. "Maybe because it's not nice to hurt people."
I roll my eyes. "Oh, you'll be alright. Sometimes you just gotta take what life throws at you."
Like my stupid crush on him. It's just another obstacle life is giving me right now. Nothing more than that. And I'm very grateful Elsa hasn't said anything either. I wasn't going to admit it to her, but I feel that out of everyone, even my best friend Merida, that my secret would be securely safe with her. I know she and her sister and cousin are close, so the risk of her telling them is there. I doubted her for a bit. It's not that I don't trust Anna and Rapunzel–they can keep secrets for a good while–but sometimes they can get too excited about something and accidentally let it spill. I knew Elsa wouldn't tell them though because Elsa was in the same boat as me; hell, she and Jack were secretly dating for a little while. She knows what it's like to want to be kept a secret.
If the roles were reversed, I would keep hers. Even from Merida.
Speaking of Merida...well...I'm not even sure how she'd react if I told her. Like, she's my best friend, I know her inside and out, but this is the one thing I really can't read her on. She might joke around about Hiccup and I being a couple, but that doesn't mean she actually wants us to become one. She likes to play around and tease, like Jack does. What if she absolutely hates the idea and gets mad at me? It's not my fault that her cousin grew on me. It's Hiccup's fault.
Hiccup. Hiccup. Hiccup.
"I don't know if I can take anymore of what life throws at me, to be honest," Hiccup says, chuckling.
"Wait until you're actually an adult," I say, thinking about how life would be for us when we're older. "But let's not talk about that future. Let's talk about now. The present time. Are you going to Rapunzel's parents' Christmas Eve party?"
Hiccup nods. "Yeah. You?"
I point to my ugly Christmas sweater. "Obviously."
Hiccup smiles. "Then I guess I'll be seeing you later tonight."
"Or we could just spend the whole day together." I don't know why I said that. I haven't been able to control myself at all, and I hate him for it. But not as much as I would like. "We can go home later, get dressed, and head over there with Merida."
"You don't think she'd be suspicious?"
"Of what?" I ask, pretending to be stupid. And again I don't know why I'm pretending. I'm doing things I normally wouldn't. "Of us spending time together? She should be glad, considering you're getting more comfortable with me." But I knew what he meant. I just didn't want to think about it. I sure hope she doesn't question anything.
Hiccup's blush is as clear as water. "I am, aren't I?"
And maybe I'm just fucking losing it, but the way he said it made me stomach flip. I cleared my throat and struggled with what to say next. "It's...uh...well it's about damn time."
Hiccup laughs again. "Better late than never."
"Yeah," I smile, "I suppose so."
A silence fell between us, louder than the music that flowed through the wired earphones and flooded our ears. The song that was playing was "All I Want For Christmas Is You", which I found to be wildly fitting and unnecessary at the same time. It's like the universe is calling me out. Calling both of us out. Because I know Hiccup likes me. I know that if I make the first move, which I'm sure he's waiting for, that the beginning of us would surely follow through. But...as fearless as I try to be, I am still human, therefore I can still fear and overthink. And I fear that we won't last. That I'll fall so helplessly in love with him only for him to realize that I'm not the same girl he has on this pedestal. I fear that I'll lose him in an accident like how my Aunt lost her first love. I fear that maybe it'll be me who dies one day and leaves him all alone. I fear things with Merida and I will become awkward. I fear that maybe I was wrong this whole time and he actually doesn't have a crush on me. I fear...more than I would like to. And it's all because of him.
Hiccup. Hiccup. Hiccup.
Hiccup has always felt different to me compared to the other guys at school. I always assumed it was because he was never his true self around me and because he was Merida's cousin. He was also one of the very few boys that were never focused on his looks. And to me, that made him attractive. He was never ugly to me though. I always found him cute, and since seeing him be his true self and becoming more bolder, it's definitely made him hotter in my eyes. I sometimes wonder if a Neville Longbottoming really is in his future after all, or if it's all in the mind. Am I seeing things that those that aren't attracted to him aren't? Who knows. I'm definitely not going to ask. The last thing I need is being jealous and territorial.
Especially over someone who isn't mine.
That's another thing that made this crush of mine come to light. The jealousy. When I found out about him and Heather being friends, I was (and still am) pissed the fuck off. And of course, it got me thinking, and then Elsa and mine's text messages, and just...AH! I don't like being jealous, especially when it comes to Heather, but I can't help it. Heather is gorgeous. It's no wonder Hiccup is her "friend". He probably likes looking at her like a lot of boys do. And that's what Hiccup is. A boy. I hate thinking about what he must think of when he looks at her, but I can't blame him. He's a teen boy, which means raging hormones. I just...
I want him to think of me instead.
"Why have you been spending so much time with me?" He suddenly asks, checking me out of my ridiculous thoughts. "Ever since you followed me that Halloween night and discovered Toothless, you've been stuck to my side, and don't get me wrong, I'm glad to have you, to spend more time with you and know you better, but I'm curious to know your answer. I feel that if it wasn't for Toothless, we wouldn't be here where we are now."
I could tell this must have been on his mind for a while because he was nervously picking at the grass that was hiding underneath the snow. He didn't tear his eyes away from it, and he didn't stutter either. This was a serious question for him. One with an answer that I knew would mean a lot.
"You're right," I answer, being honest because that's what he deserves. "If it wasn't for Toothless, things would have stayed the same between us. But, in all honesty, it really was more you than him. Toothless brought out a side of you I had never seen before; a side that I knew you were capable of having. I knew you had potential to stand your ground and have a backbone, and that night you showed it. You showed me how much Toothless means to you and I knew from the tone of your voice and the boldness in your eyes–the deep seriousness– that you would do whatever it took to protect him. When you explained yourself and how you made a fake leg for a wild wolf...Hiccup, you really don't understand how amazed I was. I wanted to see more. I wanted to get to know you better too. The real you."
I stopped rambling, so he could speak.
"And...do you like...the real me?" He finally looks up at me, his eyes the most hopeful I have ever seen.
My heart is racing in my chest, but I'm unsure on how he meant it. Did he mean like as in like-like romantically, or like as in platonically?
I glance down at his lips, seeing this as the perfect opportunity to kiss him. To show him that, if he still has a crush on me, that I reciprocate the feeling. I'll have you know that when I kiss you on the lips, it's certainly not going to be in front of a crowd of people. I had said this to him during the first hockey game of the season, merely trying to tease him, to feel some kind of control, but also secretly meaning it, if given the chance. Because by then I was already feeling something, and I've been thinking about my words ever since. Right now it really would be perfect. Right now is my chance.
"Yeah..." I answer, looking back at his eyes, hoping he could see the yearning in mine. "I do."
It was so easy kissing his cheek on the kiss-cam at the hockey game that first night. But kissing him on the lips? I don't understand why it's so much harder. I don't understand how Rapunzel was able to just simply kiss Flynn like it was nothing and then remain friends until he finally asked her to be his girlfriend. I couldn't just remain friends with Hiccup. Could I? I mean, maybe...we don't have to put a label on us. We don't have to be serious. We can just...kiss here and there until we're both ready for a relationship.
I want us to really work. Long-term. And perhaps, waiting might be the best option. It'll make our hearts grow fonder or whatever the hell the saying says.
And to my surprise, he asks me what I was just thinking. "In...in what way?" He's looking away now, seeming to not be shocked at his words. Meaning that he knew exactly what he wanted to say. He thought it out carefully. I should do the same...right?
"In whatever way you'd like," I answered, fully knowing which way he was talking about, and feeling extra shy. I can't bring myself to admit it out loud. I don't know why, but it's hard for me.
I don't usually do the whole romance thing. This is new and scary and exciting and I hate him. I hate him so much. And I hate the fact that I don't hate him at all.
Hiccup is looking back at me now, our eyes making contact, but neither of us being intimidated to look away now. And there's two things I see in his hypnotic, green eyes. Hope and fear. Yearning and uncertainty.
"Astrid–" He starts, but he's cut off when my phone suddenly goes off. It's crazy how sometimes I have service out in the woods and sometimes I don't. Maybe it's the Universe telling me it's not time yet to reveal my feelings. But surely Hiccup knows? I know everyone teases each other but I have said some questionable things before that were laced with truth. Like what I said at the hockey game. We've gotten closer. I stammer and blush more often than usual, which I know gets noticed. Surely he can't be that blind?
"It's Merida," I say and then quickly answer the phone. "Hello?"
"Mum is forcing me to wear a stupid dress for the Christmas Eve party and I need your help to convince her not to!!" Merida rants out in a rush. Her voice is low, probably so her mother doesn't hear her, and I can easily picture the annoyance on her face.
"Okay, I'm doing errands right now for my aunt, but I'll be there soon," I tell her, the lie so easily rolling off my tongue.
"Thank you! And please hurry!" She clicks off the phone and I couldn't help but chuckle.
"Let me guess," Hiccup says, "My aunt is forcing her to do something she doesn't want to do?"
I nod. "Nothing new. We need to get going anyway."
We say goodbye to Toothless, who retreated inside his dog-house that Hiccup built for him, and as we make our way out of the woods, I couldn't help but repeat the moments that occurred before Merida's call.
If she didn't call, what was he going to say? Was he really going to initiate something? Would I have? And now that the moment is gone...
Will either of us ever?