Here's the 17th. In honesty, I've worked on this for two days... you wouldn't believe how tiring it can be to play a video over and over just to get words right. Most excurciating three minutes and forty-four seconds of my life. Also I may have a word wrong in the warthog scene. forgive me for that and... Please enjoy.
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(South, few weeks after the fight)
It was the most gossipped topic on the Mother of Invention. Her new partner, Agent Alaska, beat one of the best, despite having no prior battle experience on the battlefield. If that's what he could do without any sort of training, just how deadly could he be to the enemy with training? That was the thought that plauged her mind for the past few weeks.
The missions have slowed down- by a lot. The reasons, South assumed, was because there was still more of those DVDs to watch. She didn't know why but she felt that they were pretty important. When she asked the others, York, Wash, Maine and the rest, they all felt the same way. Her eyes narrowed at Alaska as he walked in. He was in Recovery One mainly for rest.
It was like he just overdid it in the fight. She sighed. "Alright, I know that me fighting Carolina was a bit exciting, but, there still is a lot of episodes to watch. So, this morning we will watch one episode, and if you want we can watch another tonight. Any questions or complaints?", Christian explained. "Yeah, I do. Why the hell does every freelancer feel that these DVDs are so goddamned important?", South asked impatiently.
Alaska turned to her and said, "If they feel important, then that means we're moving in the right direction. I don't know why you or the other agents feel that way, South, but it's a good thing. I promise you." He turned to the Director and saluted. The director nodded and said "Take a seat, Alaska. F.I.L.S.S, play DVD one, episode two."
The kid sat down next to South and she smirked, her pale ice blue eyes alight with some happiness. see turned to see that C.T. was on her partner's left. South growled softly.
"Yes, Director."
The Freelancers all looked to the screen. Then Maine growled softly when he saw Sarge, Personally, South thought that almost everyone was a dick on either team.
"Hurry up, Ladies, this ain't no ice cream social!", Sarge barked to Grif and Simmons as they marched to Sarge.
"Ice cream social?", asked Wash.
"Ice cream social?", asked Simmons as he and Grif looked at each other.
"Well, maybe we should send Wash to the Reds and Blues, eh?", South quipped. Everyone- Wash included- chuckled.
"Stop the filler talk, you two", Sarge looked at them both, "Anyways, now, take a guess why I gathered you here to-day."
"Uh... Is it because the war's over and you're sending us home?", Grif answered.
North shook his head. "Agent Alaska, do they really believe that they're at an actual war?
... Alaska?", The Director called out to Christian. South looked at him and he just sat there with a small sad smile on his face.
"That's exactly it, Private, wars' over. We won. Turns out you're the big hero, we're going to hold a parade in your honor. I get to drive the float... and Simmons here is in charge of confetti!", Sarge said sarcastically.
"I'm no stranger to sarcasm, Sir.", Grif replied.
"Ok, seriously, Sarge is a dick.", said Wash. South was about to chime in but everyone heard Christian say "He gets better. They all do... except for maybe Caboose." South thought, 'Who's Caboose again?'
"Gah, goddamn it shut your mouth, Private, or I'll have Simmons, here, slit your throat while you're asleep!", shouted Sarge angrily.
C.T. was about to say something but then-
"Ooh, I'd do it too, Sir."
"I know you would Simmons. Good man. Couple of things, Ladies. Command has seen fit to increase our ranks here at Blood Gulch Outpost number one!"
"Tch, wow, we get the rookie.", Grif said lazily.
"That's right, dead man! Our new recruit will be here within the week, but today we received the first part of our shipment from Command", at this Simmons and Grif turned to each other. Sarge either didn't notice or didn't care because he continued, "Lopez, bring out the vehicle." Just then, a man in brown armor drived over the ditch and parallel parked behind Sarge. "Shotgun!" Simmons immediately called out. "Shotgun. fuck!" called out Grif while looking down.
"Seriously? That's what they say when they see a jeep?", asked Carolina in shocked confusion. York answered, "It's a guy thing, Carolina. North, Maine, Wyoming, and Wash plus myself have done it before."
"That doesn't really answer her question, York.", South commented.
"Allow me to introduce our, new electronic reconnaissance vehicle! it has four armor plated wheels, mad muffler suspension, a mounted machine gunner position, AND seating for two. Gentlemen! This is the M12LRV! I like to call it a Warthog.", Sarge said excitedly.
"Why 'Warthog' sir?", asked Simmons.
"Because M12LRV is too hard to say in a conversation, son."
"No, it looks more like a puma. I mean, it doesn't really look like a pig", Grif said, disagreeing with Sarge.
"Hey, he's kinda right!", Wash thought aloud. North nodded.
"Say that again?"
"I think it looks more like a puma."
"He's technically right, Director.", stated Alpha- his holographic projection hovering over one of the Director's armrests. Lenard Church nodded to his 'copied' self.
"What in Sam Hell is a puma?!"
Everyone's mouth hung open in shock. Except for Christian, who South noted, was yet again laughing his ass off again on the floor of the mini home theatre. "wait for it.", Christian whispered to South. Her lips went into a thin line of confusion. What could possibly make him say that?
"Uh, you mean like the shoe company?", asked Simmons.
South laughed along with Christian while everyone else stared in shock. that's why he said to wait for it.
"No, like a puma! It's a big cat-like a lion.", answered Grif.
"...You're making that up.", said Sarge.
"I'm telling you, it's a real animal!"
"Simmons, I want you to posion Grif's next meal!"
"Yes sir!"
"Look, see these two toe hooves? They look like tusks! And what animal has tusks?"
"A walrus."
"Didn't I just tell you to stop making up animals?"
"Ok, what the fuck? There's no way he's that stupid.", stated Wash. Christian didn't say anything in response.
The camera cut to a sniper rifle zoom on the Reds. "What is that thing?", asked Tucker. It kind of surprised Church because it was a logical question. "Uh, I don't know, uh- it looks like they got some kind of car down there. We'd better get back to base and report it", answered Church.
"Holy shit, he's actually got a good idea!", Wyoming shouted out in surprise.
"What, a car?! How come they get a car?", Tucker whined.
"What are you complaining about, man?! We're about to have a tank in the next drop!
"You can't pick up chicks in a tank."
"You know what, you could bitch about anything couldn't you? We're about to get a tank and you're worried about chicks. WHAT 'CHICKS' ARE WE GOING TO PICK UP OUT HERE?! And secondly how are you going to pick up chicks in a car that looks like that?
"That Church sure knows his way around the female mind, eh kid?", Tex joked. Christian just smiled a knowing smile at her and said "More like just... one female mind, Tex." The Director noted Christian's look... did he know who Agent Texas was to him?
Tucker sighed and asked "Well, what kind of car is it?"
"No, I've never seen a car like that before, it looks like a uh... a big cat of some kind."
"What, like a puma?"
"Yeah, man, believe me."
Everyone busted their guts laughing at this exchange. "Least we know now that one side isn't full of idiots.", York stated. everyone nodded in agreement.
The camera cut back to the Reds just as Sarge said "So, unless anyone has any more mythical creatures to suggest as the name for the new vehicle, we're gonna stick with- 'The Warthog'. How 'bout it Grif?"
"At the risk of repeating myself, seriously Sarge is a dick on wheels", stated Wash.
"No sir, no more suggestions.", answered Grif.
"Are you sure? How about Bigfoot?"
"It's ok."
"Unicorn?"
"No, really, I'm cool."
"Sasquatch?"
"Leprechaun?", asked Simmons.
"Hey, he didn't need any help, man.", stated Grif while turning to Simmons.
"Phoenix!"Grif sighed.
"Hey, Simmons! What's the name of that Mexican lizard? Eats all the goats?"
"Uh...that would be the Chupacabra sir."
"Hey Grif! Chupa-thingy, how about that? I like it! Got a ring to it!"
At that everyone chuckled a bit. "End playback of DVD one, episode two.", said F.I.L.S.S. The Director got up and stretched, as did everyone else. "Thank you, F.I.L.S.S.", said Christian. South had one thought: 'That was the most painful three minutes of my life.'
And by the looks of everyone who was putting on their respective helmets, they agreed with her.