It was a new day, the first proper school day of the year. Yesterday was an overextended introduction that threatened to wear students out before the year had even kicked off.
Just as the day changed seamlessly, so did my motivations. After a rewarding interaction with Horikita Suzune last night, I decided to change the way I approached problems from then onward, it only remains to be seen how this will affect me as I navigate the path of my life in this school.
"Good morning." My dry voice rang out, startling the group of gossiping girls I was greeting, they turned towards me and I could see the gears turning in their heads as they tried to remember who I was.
"Oh! Ayanokouji-kun! Good morning." She totally forgot my name.....
The girl who had introduced herself as Kushida was the first to remember who I was, the other girls in her group showed looks of realization as they finally made the connection.
Then successive "good mornings" came from all the girls as they tried to gloss over the fact that they forgot me, making the situation unbearably awkward. I nodded slightly and walked on, pretending not to notice anything.
Yes, this is the attitude of a social elite! The internet can be really helpful at times, it has been an indispensable tool, no, friend since I left the white room.
I settled in my seat after exchanging basic pleasantries with everyone I met on the way. Normally, I wouldn't do this and my presence would completely fade from the minds of my classmates but I had my reasons.
"I'm surprised, I didn't take you for someone interested in mundane pleasantries." Horikita, who I met at her seat, spoke to me.
"You should have less confidence in your people reading skills then, expectations bring disappointment." I off-handedly replied as I took out the materials for the completely useless classes I would have to sit through.
Horikita narrowed her eyes, slightly glaring at me. "When you have the countenance of a depressed teen, I could hardly be blamed for my assumptions."
And of course she fell to insults....
I only sighed before ignoring Horikita, who didn't push further after seeing my resignation.
My classmates continued to mingle till the bell rang and classes began.
The classes went on, teachers came and left, saying their piece and leaving while totally ignoring the misbehaving students of class D.
"This is even more suspicious..." Horikita mused aloud after the last teacher for the day left the class, interrupting my process of packing up.
"The teachers' attitudes?" I asked.
She only gave a slight nod in response as she kept pondering the reasons for the abnormally lax treatment we were receiving.
"Do you have any ideas?" I asked again in a bid to move the conversation forward.
A recurring trend in our interactions so far, she initiated the interaction but never bothered to sustain it, leaving the burden to an inexperienced me.
"Not at the moment, I have no idea what I'm even supposed to be searching for. It's just like yesterday with the free products, this school has a lot of inexplicable aspects to it."
"Try a better approach then."
"What?" She was confused by what I meant.
Doing this would make her slightly wary of me but that's just another facet of human psychology, it would be a useful sentiment regardless of how she perceived me.
"When gathering data, what's a highly recommended practice?" I asked a leading question.
She seemed to think a bit before replying.
"Multiple information sources?"
Eh, good enough.
"Right, now since your singular observations of the school from your vantage point as a member of class D isn't going anywhere, why don't you broaden your horizons? Look beyond your class, beyond the year even. Maybe there's an answer there?"
There was a perfectly easy way to make her realize this without telling her outright but I don't see the appeal in that method anymore, for most cases.
Horikita's eyes sharpened as she realized the essence of what I just said and at the same time I could sense the wariness she felt towards me.
In her subconscious, her self perceived superiority felt threatened by me, someone she hadn't evaluated highly in the first place.
This is fine, development is development.
I don't want to be the one behind the scenes, I don't want to be a fleeting scene in the thoughts of others, shaded by the shadows of events.
I don't want to be the cold and invisible hand of the puppeteer.
I want to be known, an imprint of my existence being present in the minds of others.
Misguided or not, I believed I would be satisfied if I was acknowledged by others. Not as a savior, or as an unfeeling subject.
But as a person.
.
.
"How arrogant.." Horikita Suzune muttered under her breath as she walked towards the students' dorms.
'Why would I do something like that?" She mused on her decision to ignore what was conveniently made clear to her.
Her enthusiasm to jump into her investigations after her Ayanokouji inspired epiphany was initially high, only to immediately dampen the moment she realized she would be forced to interact with the other classes or students in the higher years to acquire any meaningful information.
And so she headed home, under the gaze of a dumbstruck Ayanokouji.
"Ayanokouji...." Her thoughts shifted to the quiet brown haired teen, Horikita couldn't shake off the feeling that the person she met the previous day and the oddly talkative Ayanokouji of today were totally different people.
It wasn't an obvious change but she could tell something was different, especially in his bearing.
The Ayanokouji of yesterday seemed to be a mildly noticeable individual, one not too forgettable but wouldn't strike an impression.
Today however....
The image of Ayanokouji explaining his approach to her appeared in her mind as she dwelled on how his presence in the class became more defined, his attitude seemed to have become more inclined to the members of the class.
"Tsk." She clicked her tongue in inexplicable frustration, an uncharacteristic action.
She couldn't tell where the feeling was coming from, but she was perfectly aware of what it was directed at.
Herself.
Prior to today's interaction she had told the seemingly emotionless teen that there was no way he could contribute to her efforts in prying into the mysteries of the advanced nurturing high school.
That was why it was so frustrating that he had been the one to provide a viable clue to aid her search.
And here she was, ignoring it.
Excited voices of girls meeting their friends or next door neighbors flowed into her head as she stood in the hallways on the floor she was assigned to, she swiped her key card through the sensor and stepped into the room.
She shut the door, isolating herself from the carefree nature of the adolescent girls.
Her frustration made her more irritable towards the happy sounding voices so she was grateful for the room's ability to effectively screen noise.
The emotion's intensity had increased as she came to terms with it's origin.
She was frustrated at herself for not getting an idea sooner, her mind only filled by one thought as she settled into her room.
'Would my brother have figured it out?'
.
.
I underestimated her stubbornness....
I couldn't help but think so as I watched the black haired girl leave the school building with no apparent intention of working in the direction I pointed her towards.
I sighed and lifted my bag, leaving the classroom still filled with some students.
"Uhm, excuse me." And I was stopped.
I turned to the owner of the familiar voice. Kushida, who had only taken one day to be completely adored by the class appeared in front of me.
Huh, what does she want?
I talked to her a bit today so it's not a huge stretch to assume she had buisness with me, but I was almost sure that wasn't the case.
"Oh, Kushida. How may I help you?"
"It's nothing too bothersome, I promise!"
I didn't say anything though..
And how is she sure it won't be bothersome, isn't that supposed to be judged by my own criteria?
"Go on." I relunctantly decided to believe her.
"Thanks! Are you close with Horikita-san?"
Hm. Unexpected line of questioning.
"No. We're just classmates." I responded truthfully.
"But you're the only one she talks to. I tried to talk to her but she brushed me off." She said as she made a sad face.
Is this some kind of elaborate joke?
"I fail to see how talking to someone equates to closeness, considering I sit next to her, a few conversations are bound to haappen." I tried my best to brush the class' beloved girl off, but she was too persistent.
"No, she's different. She says she's not interested in making any friends but that seems sad so I want to help her."
"And you need my help for that?" I'm starting to feel like this conversation will keep going in a circle.
"Hmm. Please help me."
"Sorry, I can't. Horikita is someone I have no connection or amiable relationship with. You'll have to do it on your own." Refusing her outright should end this right?
"Please.... Seeing a clasmate live like that is painful.." She drew closer to me as she said this.
Worth a shot...
"Kushida. Its her personal prefernce, you doing this is trying to force friendship on someone who doesn't want or care for it. Are you sure that's the right choice?"
I stared deep into her eyes as I challenged her motives. She involuntarily took two steps away from me.
"Haha, you might be right. Sorry for making you uncomfortable, Ayanokouji-kun, bye!" She quickly ended the conversation as she retreated into the classroom back to her friends who had been watching the interaction.
They didn't seem to be within hearing range so it's fine.
I sighed and continued on my way home.
Kushida huh...she too has her own problems but unlike Horikita, I'm unable to tell at a glance.
She's another interesting person I've met at this school.
With the volume of such varied and multi faceted people surrounding me, I couldn't help but look towards the future with something that had been making repeated appearances in my psyche in recent times, Anticipation.
My journey towards autonomy seemed achievable now.
.
.
The month went on, my classmates still indulging themselves and the school still being negligent.
Horikita still initiated conversations with me once in a while, this time actually putting in work to sustain it.
I could tell she was trying to probe me but I avoided all her attempts without giving myself away.
Then one day, when the halfway mark of the month had passed, Horikta came up to me after classes had ended.
And then.....
"Ayanokouji-kun, I need your help."
.
.
It's been a while. I admittedly took a while with this and it's short on top of that so excuse me.
Yeah, the updates will be this spaced out for a bit. It'll get regular soon. Peace.