White light invaded my vision as I blinked against the sudden unwelcome light. “Rose?” I squinted through the light to see a dark silhouette amidst the light.
“James?” The hope in my voice was obvious as the male figure winced but it was only a second later I noticed a more feminine figure walking up beside him and my vision began to clear enough to see Alexander stood next to an exact replica of me. No- it was me from a past life.
“Jezzebella I presume?” The girl inclined her head in acknowledgement and that mere action drew my attention to the little bundle of joy she held in her arms. A baby boy. “I guess it was a boy after all.” My smile was wry and Alex offered me a hand up which I gratefully accepted.
He looked sheepish as he looked at the true love of his life and rubbed the back of neck in guilt. “Yeah, turns out she was right when she thought she was having a boy.” I didn’t question how if she was granted a life in the afterlife did she only just have the baby because God worked in mysterious ways and probably knew she would have wanted to wait for Alex to eventually join her here. My heart gave a pang at the sight of effectively me looking happy with her baby and the love of her life, knowing that I would never have mine.
Alex must have noticed something was wrong when a frown appeared on his face. “I can read your expression as if it was Jezzebella’s.” I winced at his crass comment and even Jezzebella seemed a bit taken aback at his unintentional thoughtless comment. She was me after all at the end of the day. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it that way. I just meant what’s wrong?”
He surely couldn’t be that stupid? “Have a nice life with your family Alexander and I might see you again some day. Preferably not soon.” I smiled and decided it was my turn to take my leave from the happy couple even though I had no idea where I was going, where I was, where I could go or even if I could go anywhere. All I knew for certain was that I couldn’t be around the constant reminder of what I couldn’t have anymore because of the happy couple.
“I really am sorry for what I did Rose and I meant it when I said that I truly loved you, not just for love of Jezzebella. It’s just you can’t imagine what it was like having the love of my life taken away from me, never to see her or my child again-”
“No I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to lose my soulmate, never to see him or my child again unless they die and then feel awful to wish for them to be with me because I would ultimately be wishing for their death.” I took a breath to calm myself. “I’ve said I forgive you Alexander and I meant it. We are at peace with each other and will be from now on, but it doesn’t mean, pardon my rudeness, that I want what I can’t have rubbed in my face whenever I see the three of you happy together. I really would rather be alone and wish you all of the best for the amazing future you’ve both been gifted with.”
I turned around to leave when I heard my voice echoed back to me only I wasn’t speaking the words, Jezzebella was. “Rose? I want to thank you for being good to Alexander and leading him back to good.” I turned my head and nodded at the gratitude but before I could carry on walking, she carried on talking. “I also wanted to thank you for loving James how he should be loved, the way I could never love him.” She meant well. She meant well. She meant well. She meant-
The mantra wasn’t working and I turned on her. “We are not friends, so you do not talk of my husband like you give a damn. You cheated on him when he was there for you, in the next room even and knowing how much he loved you. You cheated on him with his best friend. So screw the speech about you not being able to love him enough because that is how I felt with Alexander. I understand that you didn’t feel the love you felt for Alexander towards him and that I will not hold against you. I will however hold the fact that you broke his heart against you for all of my life and if he is ever to come here then you are to stay well away from him, else risk bodily harm. I may be dead but I’ll still kick your ass if you hurt my husband again.”
“Then we are in agreement and you shall understand that the feeling is mutual about you and Alexander?”
“Wouldn’t expect any less of an older version of myself.” She nodded at me and we were in perfect agreement, a mutual ground in which we both stood. “Goodbye Jezzebella.” I turned to Alexander and saw how he was looking at her and his child and it made me smile with happiness for him. “What you called your child Alexander?”
“James.” My breath hitched and my smiled turned into a slightly sad one.
“I wish you all the happiness in the world to you both and your child. Goodbye Alexander.” I turned away from them as a lone tear slid down my cheek and walked away without looking back at them.
After a while of walking I spotted a ledge that would be great to sit down at and hang my feet over the edge. If I was going to wait for the love of my life then I would be waiting many many years to come, might as well make myself comfortable. I sat and looked past my feet into what seemed like an abyss with a slight wavering far down at the bottom of it. The longer I stared into the black hole the more tired I was starting to become and I began to sway back and forth, suddenly dizzy. “Rose?” The voice was familiar but there was no one for what must be miles around me but the voice came again, “Rose? Come back to me baby, I miss you. I need you.” The voice sounded broken and my hand began to tingle as if someone was squeezing it but there was no one touching my hand.
“Chuff sake Rose won’t you bloody wake up before you drive your husband insane?” This voice was slightly different and even though it seemed to try to remain casual there was an underlying tone of hurt and even fear.
“Rose I can feel through my soul that you’re still in there somewhere so come back so that both of your daughters can have a great mother.” Yet again another voice. The seemed to be swarming around my head like a hive of bees swarming around their hive.
“Who let the mutt in here?” The first voice hissed and growling resounded in my head making me groan through pain of it’s loudness, it was like the volume of speakers had been turned up higher than I could cope with.
“Shut up all of you. She needs rest, not you all bickering around her.” The distinct feminine voice started triggering memories but the dizziness was so overwhelming I couldn’t my thoughts and memories from dreams.
“Says best friend number two.” The female hissed at the man and another man joined her which was when the humming started in my head and slowly began to grow louder. I looked down into the abyss on impulse and saw faces swirling around it like reflections in a pond. They were faces I knew and recognised. Faces that felt familiar and welcoming. One face in particular drew my interest and the pool began to solidify and focus on that one image of a man who looked like a male God. James. That was James looking slightly haggard with Amber sleeping soundly in his arms. I missed him so much-
“Then go to him.” Alexander and Jezzebella suddenly appeared at either side of me, sat next to me just as the humming got even louder to a deafening point. “I took them away from you and now I can finally give you them back.” He grabbed one of my arms and Jezzebella grabbed the other one.
“Look after them.” She said sternly.
“Look after yourself and treasure your time together, like I’ll do with her.” With that Alexander pushed me with the help of Jezzebella into the depths of the abyss which swallowed me whole before I even got a chance to look back at the happy couple one last time, although I could picture the happy looks on their faces at finally being reunited after all of this time with a son to call their own. I’d never begrudged them that.
*********************
“Wasn’t it you who almost made out with her because you disguised yourself as her husband?”
“I don’t want a wolf who kidnapped my wife and still claims her as his soulmate in the same room as me!”
“Don’t talk to Riley like that Dimitri.”
“Are you threatening the only trained killer in the room Nick? How well do you think that’s going to work out for you?”
“I don’t give a damn what you want James because I have just as much reason to be here as the rest of you.”
My headache pounded and I winced as their bickering made it worse. Was I moved to hell for misconduct or something that would grant me time with my friends only to see them bicker? Whatever this was my headache got too much.
“Shut up all of you.” I croaked and coughed, spluttering god knows what over- covers? Where was I know? The room went deathly silent and I blinked open my eyes, thankfully not to blinding white light and a face appeared in my vision, beaming at me.
My breath, what little I had of it anyway, left me in a rush and it took me a few attempts to speak; when I did I was a blubbering mess with my eyes leaking like a tap had been open to full flow and I got the distinct feeling I was snotting as well but I didn’t care as I launched myself with as much power as I could into the arms of the love of my life. “James. Is it really you?”
I felt tears on my back. “Yes my love. I thank God that he gave you back to me and that I got to you in time with a vampiric medic who was well versed with the effects of the fire wood. He even had a cure but what I didn’t expect to find was the giant hole in you chest.” There was rage in his voice.
“How many mafia men did you fell then rookie? Am I looking at competition as a trained killer yet?” Dimka smiled from across the end of the room and James helped me sit up properly.
I held my arms open to him and he was hugging me within a second like his life depended on it. “Never do that to me again Rose. I need you just as much, if not more, than the rest of them need you.” The sincerity of his words brought tears to my eyes again as I never contemplated how my death would affect Dimka, who I’d only known for a short time but had already become my best friend and confidante like Riley.
“I won’t I promise.” He hugged me again and stood back a little and waited for something with eyebrows raised in expectation.
“What?”
“I’m still waiting for a figure.”
I laughed. “There were twenty and I killed seventeen. Alexander killed the-” I stopped mid-sentence and the room went silent once more as I scanned for him only to notice he wasn’t there.
The silence was for the elephant in the room, or not in the room in this case, but I knew the answer before I’d even asked. “What about Alex?”
Everyone started shifting uncomfortably and I finally looked at James for an answer. “He didn’t make it Rose. He must have had a lot of exposure to the wood with no blood to try and combat the effects... I just can’t work out how it didn’t kill you also with how extensive your wounds were. Not that I’m not grateful because losing you was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through.”
“Shhh. It’s ok I’m safe and I’m here now. I think I survived because I drained a vampire in the room of all his blood because I was starving from the wood burning me slowly and from the stake that was plunged into my chest and then kicked deeper until I had to pull it out to use it-”
“Sure you don’t want a job?” Dimka piped up from the back of the room and Riley shot daggers at him as if it was a stupid idea before she came to give me a huge hug.
“You think I can cope losing my only sister?” She lightly scolded and hugged me again but as much as I loved her I also knew she had her own life to lead, which will always have me in it but will also involve me confiding in Dimka more when Riley decides to have her own family too. As if reading my mind she assured me, “no matter what you will still be my sister and we will see each other everyday even when I give birth to this stinking child.” For the second time that day the room went silent except for Dimka snorting at the back of the room and making a derogatory comment about Riley.
Even Nick seemed shocked as he pulled his wife off of the bed and into a way too personal embrace in front of a crowd of people including one who couldn’t move. “I wanted to wait to tell Rose first because that’s just how it’s always been-”
“I’m so happy for you!” I gushed and couldn’t help but be thrilled at the news that she was even starting her own family, but I knew that meant we wouldn’t get to talk as much until our children were grown and we could resume our inseparable friendship.
“Your inseparable friendship won’t ever end Rose no matter how many kids the two of you have, it will just be more of a headache for me and Nick when all of the kids are in one house because the two of you are off together leaving us with the kids.” James’s assurance worked it’s desired affect of calming me down but I also knew that he was only mock hurt by being left with the kids because he would love and so would Nick.
“It’s a shame I told her of my pregnancy before yours because I guess that means we’re better friends than you two-” Dimka started and Riley tried to tackle him there and then. I couldn’t understand why the hated each other so much but I loved them both equally so they would just have to deal with it.
I stared at my little girl in James’s arms and smiled down as the little bundle of joy. “She would only sleep when you were near her so every night I’ve had to sit in here with her next to you so she would even consider sleeping.” I held my arms open for her and James carefully handed her to me before climbing into bed alongside me to wrap his strong arms gently around my shoulders and me and the baby.
I felt a bounce on the bed before I looked up to see another bundle of joy that I hadn’t expected leap into my arms so quickly that I barely got Amber out of the way in time. “Hey up kiddo! Mummy’s missed you!” Annabeth hugged me tightly around the neck until I struggled to breath but I didn’t say anything as I hugged her back almost as tightly and looked over her shoulder to look at Darren for the first time.
He looked as haggard as James did and the protective glint in his eyes as he stared back at me spoke of trouble between him and James in the future but I didn’t care at the minute because I was currently not worrying about the future and living in the now wit everyone I loved surrounding me, but what I did need was a quick minute with James alone. “Annabeth sweetheart, mummy needs to talk to James for a minute so why don’t you go with your dad to get some junk food and come back in a bit to give me a big hug-” I lowered my voice for emphasis, “and fetch me a secret stash of junk food too.” Annabeth squealed and jumped off of the bed only to run and grab Darren’s hand before rushing out of the room with him in tow.
“Can I have a minute with James please guys?” They all nodded and smiled before leaving the room one by one. Dimka offered to take Amber for a bit but seeing her so settled in my arms I never wanted to let her go again, so with a polite decline of his offer they all left, leaving me alone with James and a sleeping Amber.
“He died for her you know-” James started but I was already shaking my head because he needed to know what happened.
“He died for me saying that he loved me all along and he was upset that he didn’t realise it before it was too late and we were both dying, but even then I had to tell him that I couldn’t love him the way I loved you. He said he’d wait for me on the other side but I told him there was no point because I’d always be waiting for you and when I got there he was there with Jezzebella. He’d finally found her with his son- James.” I waited to gauge James’s reaction so far but it reamined neutral so I carried on. “I told Jezzebella what I thought about her hurting you and warned that if you were ever to go up there with me then she was to come no where near you, not because of her hurting you but she looked so much like me I was worried she’d steal you away from me, so that part was pure jealousy-” James cut me off with a deep passionate kiss that left me wanting a whole lot more.
“You’ve got nothing to be jealous of because I will never want a woman more than I want you.” I blushed slightly but needed to finish the story.
“They then pushed me down an abyss and I woke up here. He died because I told him I didn’t want to die alone in that room. He died to get me out so i could be buried somewhere you could come and talk to me, somewhere you and my daughters could come and remember me.” I paused for a moment. “He died at peace-”
“Holding your hand.” I nodded.
“And now he’s happy in his next life while I’m happy here with you and my little angel.” I looked down at said angel and could feel my body responding to the motherly instincts in me, such as the need to feed her breast milk but before I could wake her James growled low in his throat.
“You know I can sense when you need to feed the baby breast milk and my eyes immediately go to them with my own greedy intents.”
“Well maybe you can have your own feeding session after I’ve fed the baby and someone has taken her out of the room.”
“Then you’ll be all mine Rose.”
“I will always be yours James, my love.” He pulled me close and kissed me passionately before pulling me into his arms with the baby in my arms and I had never felt more secure, more loved or happier in my entire life and I intended to keep it that way no matter what.
Forever and always.
**************THE END**************
**************OR IS IT??**************