( Hi, first chapter is here introducing it all 🥺✨️💗 hope you will like it, love you 💗 )
The living room was dark, the moon was out, no stars in sight. The night had been happily dancing on earth while the world kept it quiet. Quiet. Not as quiet as Porchay's body could. His muscles were shaking, trembling, his inside was hurting, his whole world felt like waltzing in pain, dancing with the moon which was still highlighting his bruises. He had no idea what happened, he had no idea why it happened again. The words were just echoing in his brain like an old and broken melody which traumatised children in their sleep at night, some darkness taking part in the serenade of despair.
"Your brother gives us so much money, do you know where it comes from? Boy, our problem is now that to be honest...I am not sure of wanting to let your debts go...there might be some interest rate for all the time we had to beat you up 'cause you didn't have the money.
Porchay had no idea how his Hia could give them all the money they wanted, he had no idea about those interest rates, he didn't even know where his brother was and it deeply put him in a lonely spiral he wanted to step out from.
His ribs were hurting, his hips, his legs, his foot, he was sure that his lips were bleeding. They never had been that violent, he even never saw them before, they broke some parts of their house but they also chose to break some parts of him and he wasn't sure to be able to stand up now.
Be able to do it alone.
Be able to even go to the hospital. His Hia's money would surely not be enough to pay them. He couldn't go there but he also couldn't just stay like this, on the ground. The cold one. His vision was blurry, his breath erratic and he desperately wanted to sleep now. He needed to close his eyes, it was a necessity.
He also wanted to send a call for help, he needed to tell someone, he couldn't fight alone this time. He took his phone, which glass was broken from the violence and looked hard at the screen. Hia. Should he contact Hia? His hugs were all he desired now, just the warmth to not feel lonely, to feel protected. But Hia wouldn't receive that text, he knew, he told him, he believed him. He was alone now, he hated to recognise it, he worked intensely on his emotions to not resent the way Porsche just left him at home with just some words written on a paper.
It was not that simple in that situation to regret not having woken up earlier that day, regret not having convinced him to stay, he could work, they would have been together, regret to not have been able to hug him one more time. Regret of having believed that he would be here in the morning and to not have known that the moment he saw him, would be the last time for a long period. Regret of being himself, on the ground and suffering like hell. No one would be able to fight against five grown and strong men alone, and yet Porchay felt so pathetic right now.
He stared at the screen. He looked at his contact. His Hia couldn't receive it. His uncle always brought troubles to them. He had some people from his school but he didn't feel close enough to tell them to come here, they were also young as he was which meant that they might tell their parents. Porchay didn't appreciate that option. One last person. One. Wik. He had Kim's number, so he took it for the lesson. He had it, he could text him.
He didn't know if he should. He didn't know if he could let Kim come inside of his room. He literally just serenaded him in front of his building some days ago and he would serve him his struggles after. He didn't feel like showing this side of his life at all. Kim was Wik and Wik was Kim, he was an artist, he was not a huge name in the world but it would be a matter of time, he knew about this. Compared to him Porchay was nothing. He felt like nothing.
He could do it. He could. He was strong enough, he would.
Porchay tried to move, he tried to just push his body up with his hand but a terrible pain spread through his whole tummy. Tears appeared in the corner of his eyes. He wanted to but it seemed too much. It felt as if he had the plan of moving a huge mountain himself being a little rock. He thought that he could just lay there and wait to get better. Or he could text.
Text.
Text.
Porchay hated himself, he hated what he had just done sending a "help" to Kim. The boy might not come, not see, not even answer, he had all the rights to do so. He could ignore him, his whole pain and existence and Porchay would thank him for what he did the past weeks. When the young boy was alone, bored, sometimes scared of his life without his strongest brother, when he was eating their favorite pizza to even touch that shadow of feeling he had when they were together, when he couldn't stop crying the first day Porche went away at night because it was his brother, his only world and he just left without updating him, Kim was there. Kim agreed to teach him. Kim let him inside his music room. Kim told him the secret behind Wik, Kim came to his home, came and let him sing to him in front of the building, Kim let him live obviously but still shily the love that was growing from admiration to real devotion.
Porchay had felt the change. He was his favourite artist, it was a fact but first attracted by his persona, he got slowly but surely pushed further into Kim, into what he showed to him, to his soft smile, to his quiet giggle and his strong hands. Porchay daydreamed about Wik but he faced reality with Kim. The real emotion of falling in love, of feeling your heart moving home.
And this was why it hurt even more Porchay to have sent this. He had the awful sensation that it would be the last time Wik or even Kim would appear in his life and he closed his eyes.
He closed them. And having no hope was relieving his nerves. He would wake up at the same spot, he would wake up and witness how lonely he was but he knew this, life just needed to give him the proof of his unlucky life.
--
Kim had been looking at his board for hours. His stupid board which was not helping him at all. He had mostly all people gathered on it. He had clearly some link in sight but he couldn't think about anything. Korn was great at hiding things and more than all he was distracted, distracted by this man he could see in the picture now.
Porchay.
The young boy was shaking his guitar strings. The one whose melody felt so soothing. The boy who could make him smile in the middle of the street just because he had sung to him. Just because he might have felt the hidden message, this one he had it, and as much as it was terrifying, he didn't reject it. He didn't want to reject it.
He fell in love.
Kim was deeply in love and if those words never crossed his mind, they still were present in the shape of emotions exploding in his chest. As much as he needed to get rid of them to investigate, he couldn't come to act against it for now. He was undercover, Porchay had no idea who he was. He found that the boy was way more innocent in this story than he had thought first. Which meant that Porsche might be as well.
The situation was on standby and he quite liked it. He was having great interaction with him, he was feeling happier and he didn't have to make a decision for now. He felt clever but in reality he just wanted to ignore all of it for now. Ignore it all.
Kim sighed loudly. It was already late. He closed his board and was ready to reach the bathroom when a text came through.
"Help."
Help. Help. What did this mean? Kim wondered first if anyone could have already attacked Porchay or Porsche, or was it against Porsche? Why would a young boy not doing anything bad, going to school and working hard have trouble with the mafia? He could through Porsche but Kim was connected to the alert text of his family and nothing was sent, meaning no one menaced them with Porchay. Loaners? He knew they had some but Porsche had given them money for his debts, thanks to his family. They could have disobeyed but then they would be killed soon to not have followed his family's orders.
Kim chuckled lightly. Analysing now? Stupid.
His reflexes off, Kim began to be worried. He took everything and ran to his car. To his surprise he wasn't that weird about himself acting like this, he liked to think that he was still undercover, so he could go there as Wik, as Kim, and not as Kimhan Theerapanyakul.
Kimhan Theerapanyakul should be silent and sleeping but climbing the gate and getting inside his veins grew big. Porchay down. He was in such a bad state. He was everything he always had been scared of. He never really acknowledged this but if he kept contact without revealing his identity it might be because he was investigating, it might be because being Kimhan Theerapanyakul could have put Porchay in this type of state. He wasn't at fault here but it felt as if he would always be at fault, always.
The image he despised the most was in front of him and the shell of his boy was hurt and he was unconscious. Kim thought of the worst. He kneeled in front of him and put two fingers under his nose: he was breathing.
And Kim breathed as well.
He sat his ass down. Closed his eyes. Hospital. He couldn't get in there without revealing his identity. Either way to not be revealing it he would need to walk away now.
Porchay was unconscious. He wouldn't know.
Kim began to stand up, but couldn't turn around. Porchay was here and he was maybe dying inside. He was here like his mother probably was one day. His heart sank. He bit his lips.
He had one of the most hated views of all time and he wasn't sure that Porchay would be free from it. He wasn't sure that Porchay wouldn't ever look like this because of him, because of his family. He got the image of Korn in his head and he closed his eyes. Another one, another loved one he wanted to push away to better protect even if pushing away wouldn't do anything at all.
Kim was spiralling. He didn't know what to do. His board was clear, something fishy existed between Theerapnyakul and Kittisawat, something bad. Something worth letting go of Porchay. And yet he still couldn't run away.
Kim kneeled again and carefully touched Porchay's face, caressing his hair falling on his face. He could witness better the bruises on his face, the awful result of Porsche just leaving like this.
Kim breathed loudly, trying to put away all of his emotions. If he was to send Porchay to the hospital, he might know him, all the Theerapanyakul. Porsche would know, he would know himself who he was. If he was to reveal himself, his investigation would be a disaster, he would have to explain why he was around Porsche's younger brother. Kim loved his brothers but they were too much invested with Korn. They needed to not know, even if he supposed that his father himself knew.
Emotions aside, the bestest option would be to keep it all a secret. Keep it all hidden, take care of the loaners discreetly and continue his little things. Continue to investigate. It was his only goal.
Kim didn't even think about having to explain everything to the boy, it felt the safest option for now.
But when the unalive looking body weighed so much in his arms, his heart skipped a beat.
He decided to ignore it and to focus on his target, even if he couldn't stop a whisper coming out of his mouth when he sat him on the passenger seat.
"You're going to be okay...Chay..."
And caressing his hair felt like the most natural thing to do.