The Probability of Amity

Par junnipers

1.7K 129 351

Amity can only wonder how things could have been if only she turned pretty, Sebastian stayed by her side, and... Plus

01: author's note
02: Promise me a forever
03: The day I got the deed
05: I don't dance
06: Wardobe
07 : drunk with me
08: Don't question sins when you commit them
09 : The theory of a jerk in waiting
10 : Maybe she needs a little company
11: I would buy forever at any price
12 : Double reflections from the mirror on the wall
13: Better wash my mouth out with soap
14: Another conversation with no destination
15: You keep my secrets hope to die
16 : Places we temporarily hide and seek
17: Give me three shots of sorrow and one for delight
18: A twenty-first century kiss
19: The past returns to the unforgettable present
20: Photographs won't capture history
21: Asking the right questions
22: Daddy's little girl isn't a little girl anymore
23: Two friends who lived
24: We were always real
25: Secrets are told in faint whispers
26: The things we left unsaid
27: Friends who decide to stay
28: We liars speak truth
29: But in the end we learn how to begin
30: Fun Facts

04: This isn't dieting

74 6 5
Par junnipers

6/18/15-6/20/15

Status: Revised

Words: 2010

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Quote:  "You don't measure someone by their weight, you measure someone by their ability."

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Chapter Three:

Having crutches for a week now, sucks. I'm constantly being pushed around in the crowded hallways, I have trouble keeping my backpack over my shoulder, so I'm left to lean on the nearest wall. I momentarily close my eyes shut and stay for a few minutes knowing that maybe I'm going to be late to my theater class, but at least I have an excuse. 

"You need help?" a modulated husky voice asked.

I opened my eyes revealing a very attractive guy in front of me, a guy in a royal gold and black track uniform shirt. I rolled my eyes at this unimpressed. His green eyes lingered on mine in confusion.

"No," I said with pride, clearly struggling with my backpack.

I looked up at him, he was probably a solid six foot two and he was trying hard not to laugh at this. I frowned as soon as he chuckled at my expression I noticed a faint scar on his left eyebrow. It was kind of an adorable remark for a guy to have.

"Hey, I'm actually heading to Theater class and I think you're in that class. I'm sure I'll be late but walking with you might save me, and I'll give my service to you," He told me.

And there it was, what he wanted, just to help me for his advantage.

"Wait, let me get this straight. So you don't know if I attend theater class with you to which we've been attending for a few weeks, right?" I inquired with a derisive smile, waiting for his answer, but he hesitated a bit and mumbled something I didn't get to hear, "and who are you?" I replied.

"Apollo," he-Apollo said with a hint of hope.

Apollo, that name sounds familiar.

"Apollo, do you happen to be dating Camri Noelle?" I looked at Apollo waiting for his response, I think this alerted him somehow because of the look of his face, he was clearly confused.

"Yeah," Apollo awkwardly said.

I had given up on the idea to make him wait, so I decided to start walking anyway, I was sure he'll not risk staying standing there. He shortly followed by my side, even though I was slow as a turtle.

"Might as well take my back pack," I said handing him my bag.

"Sure," Apollo said taking my bag from me and lunching it over his right shoulder and fastening it securely. 

Together we navigated to class, of course our theater teacher wasn't very pleased that we've arrived 10 minutes late. I said I have an excuse and that I had no idea why he'd followed me, I would have laughed in that moment but instead I confessed it was a joke, again the teacher and Apollo didn't find this pleasing, and so I stayed quiet throughout the class.

Just great.

The class mostly went fluently, but I swear that it was just going too slow for me. The teacher continuously over repeated things I already learned in my past year. Probably because I have failed this class about two times, don't blame me; it's the teacher who keeps failing me. I've already spent $250 dollars to repeat this class, even tutoring after school but nothing seemed to change the mind of my teacher. So imagine the awkward, most insensible parent teacher conference, add a little bit of rolling eyes and it all equals to a grudge and another year of theater class.  My dad wasn't too happy about this, I wouldn't blame him.

The first time I failed my class, I didn't dare to tell my dad about it, instead I went crying to Sebastian who said he'll help me pay for the class. I still remembered how he stood outside school selling his original baseball cards, his most prized possessions. I had told him he didn't have to, but he just shrugged off and gave me a solid $135 dollars, probably now his sold cards now value between 500-650 each. I shouldn't have taken the money, but I was desperate. I also managed to get the rest of my money by the same old tradition of selling lemonade, and for the following year that's what I did, before I failed again, now that's when my dad actually found out. I ended up paying Sebastian his money back but he refused, instead we went to a book store and bought a numerous amount of books and bags of French fries to which I guiltily ate myself.

Sebastian had done so much for me, and now I owe him a lot.

  I swear all I manage to do in class was scribble emoji drawings on my notebook, mostly the one that cries.

Luckily, I have lunch after this class, and when the bell rang, I sprung out as fast as I could, I knew that it wasn't my case because I was in crouches, but it's good to think you're unstoppable when you're clearly stopping every few sways.

I entered the large cafeteria.  I was unable to even hear my own thoughts in this loud, crowded place where cliques were brought together. I headed to the regular table I always sat with Camri since the beginning of my freshman year of high school. I look around a few seconds before I spot the legendary red headed girl a few feet away from me, she was waiting in line for the disgusting lunch the school serves. I know it would be a hustle to struggle my way up the long lines, so I send a friendly text message to Camri, begging her to buy me lunch, luckily for me she didn't disagree. Probably because she feels sorry for me.

As soon as she plops herself next to me and hands me a bagel sandwich with salted ham as its main dish, I thank her and take a mouthful of whatever this combination of food is, but I have to admit, that for a plain piece of bread and overly salted ham it was pretty damn good. For once has the school's cafeteria made a decent meal.

"I met Apollo," I said with a mouthful of breath, I was sure I looked like a chipmunk, but I continued to stuff my mouth with more bread and ham, "Can I have yours?" I questioned as soon as I realized she wasn't eating anything. She nodded happily and disgusted at the same time.

"Two things my friend," Camri cheered, clutching her hands into fist, she usually does this behavior when she's supper happy, in this case she was.

I looked up at her to meet her clear viridescent eyes.

"One, aren't you supposed to be weighted for the theater's costume for the following week and two, how was he? huh? Isn't he the most attractive guy in this high school! Amity he's in the track team!" she cheered, clasping her hand strongly on my arm.

"Ouch and two things as well," I began, continuing eating this delight, "You don't measure someone by their weight, you measure someone by their ability so if I happen to be fat I'm sure they'll find me another costume," feeling so proud of my observation I pulled away from her grip which she didn't notice, she only stared at me, waiting for my opinion on Apollo, "and Apollo isn't the only attractive guy, maybe for you but not for me so your statement is quite false,  and he's super, I don't know," I declared looking back at Camri who was disappointed by my ranting.

"I thought best friends supported each other," Camri complained.

"And here I am, sitting next to you." I laughed.

"I seriously don't get you," Camri rolled her eyes at me but then gave me a reassuring smile that explained her playfulness.

Suddenly the whole cafeteria goes wild. Guys and girls started to stand up from their seats, some cheer, others clap and others simply stare. I try to get a clear image of what's going on when Camri leans over me and whispers something so quietly that the only reason why I understood her was because I read her lips.

The track team made the State championships, she said.

I then turned to the main doors that I has I assumed they were entering from and shortly they did. Some of the members were in full uniforms, a prideful reminders that they were better and we were us. And surely Apollo was there giving handshakes, and high fives or slightly nodding to the crowd, I'd seen how his green eyes spotted Camri's, he was  smiling like an idiot then his eyes briefly lingered on mines, I only looked away questioning why'd I'm starting to feel sheepishly shy. And then I looked back and saw Sebastian, only it was him who didn't find me through the crowd like Apollo had. I was grateful I suppose.

Again anger roamed though me almost boiled, I couldn't understand how Sebastian could smile like that, so effortlessly. I just couldn't get it, now in day, I rarely had a reason to still enjoy life because Sebastian was my reason. He promised.

Maybe I am too childish believing promises were a form of secure agreements. I just liked the idea that I was not alone, that someone was forced to be by me, forced by a promise. An invisible and silent contract that bound him to stay with me. My mom left before I could remember, she promised me that she would always hold my hand, she told me so on her deathbed. And she let go, she let go these fragile hands. 

So I got my crutches and started to walk away.

"Why you leaving, Amity?" I heard Carmi ask, "Amity?" she still called after no response.

I knew how they would be staring at me, Apollo, Camri, Sebastian, the track team and everyone. But I didn't care. I had to do other important things than to cheer for the pathetic runners that in years from now would end up nobodies, because no one will remember them and for sure will not make the big leagues. Call me sad and pessimistic, but I speak truth. I'd like to think that I do have important things even when I know I have nothing else to do. Believing can be deceiving, yet people still believe in lies.

I could still hear some cheering but mostly it all goes back to normal as I walked away.

Once I'm at the library, I noticed how there's no one in sight. No silent readers, no humble girls or guys, no people hooking up, no nothing, only librarians. What happened to those cliché nerds? I guess movies are so over estimating. I quickly sign in.

"Anything I could help you with?" A nice old lady with white hair asked.

I smile politely and shake my head. She understood and left me to my world. It has been my first time going to the library since there are mostly no libraries in town, and I'm impressed with the verity of book selections, I like how everything is categorized in its own world. I begin to think of how much easier my life would be if it was that organized, every question I had, would easily be solved if I had the answer like a library would.

I find a corner at the end of the library, one small chair and one small round table, a few books here and there, otherwise, it's a great sanctuary for me. I now pronounce this as Amity Utopia. I like the sound of that. I don't think anyone has been here at all, because there's dust and spider webs all over this place. Disgusted by the sight of this, I remotely wipe some of the residue with the palm of my hand. This will definitely be my sanctuary.  

I drop everything to the floor, leaving my crutches resting on the table. I bring my laptop from my computer and start to work on a stupid story for my English Creative writing class. I've decided to start a journal. Nothing special, just work.

Life is never clear, always two roads. On one path, there's the chance that everything might change, how Camri got herself a new boyfriend over the summer or how she now wears a coat of mascara, pink lip gloss or keeps her hair curly. And on the other path everything remains the same, just how some friendships never mend. One thing for sure, is that if you end up walking on you can always walk back. The only problem is that I don't know in what direction I'm heading at. And maybe I need to remain where I am, where no one can lead the way.

Continuer la Lecture

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