Four Months Later
[Levi's POV]
Ever since I learned about Sina's pregnancy, I have been visiting her every two weeks in Ehrmich District where she is residing now. Not only because I miss her; I notice her pregnancy is taking a toll on her health. She is six months pregnant according to the local doctor and in this cold weather, she should stay indoors.
The dark circles under her eyes tell me she has been lacking sleep and her pale skin is just as concerning. Of course, I begin to worry but she keeps brushing it off, assuring me her body is just exhausted since the pregnancy is eating away her energy. Even after a long, restful slumber, she still seems tired. I honestly think it is more than just the pregnancy.
I even carry that worry with me to work, because her weak eyes and frail body are engraved in my mind. Not only that, it makes my heart heavy just thinking about her condition. We are currently four months engaged, and I finally pluck up the courage to bring it up to Hange and Erwin at the Headquarters.
"YOU PROPOSED!?" Hange squeals in excitement until her glasses flash in front of me. "It is hard to imagine since you're not a romantic, but I guess this is Sina we are talking about here."
I click my tongue at her comment. "I raised the idea with Sina and after some time, we had a serious conversation about our future."
"I congratulate you two," Erwin says with his arms crossed while observing my dull expression. "You don't seem excited."
Hange sighs loudly. "Really, who stays stony-faced when talking about marriage?"
"When am I not stony-faced? Do you expect me to jump up and down like a happy titan right now?" I roll my eyes, then drop my shoulders. "Of course, I am excited for our future. No matter what happens next, I will always be there for her as the one person she can always rely on."
"Awww." Hange lets out a cheesy grin. "By the way, how is Sina?"
I pause, thinking about her question. And I let myself feel the truth. Every time I visited Sina, she grew a bit sicker. But worst of all, I'm beginning to feel fear. I need her more than I need air.
"Is her belly bigger than the last time you saw her?"
"You're not planning to dissect her, are you?" I ask jokingly, then I drop to seriousness again. "She seems... more tired lately. If I'm being honest, it does not seem normal."
"Pregnancy is difficult," Erwin admits. "If you like, you can take the next week off to visit her sooner. Having her worry about you will only add more stress to her health."
"I guess you're right." I lower my gaze to the floor. As much as Sina needs me, she keeps pushing me away out of love. For the sake of humanity. But I refuse to let her push me away because she is the only person that matters.
Erwin then steps forward to grip my shoulder, giving it a strong squeeze. "And, I sincerely wish you a blissful marriage."
⚔︎
One Week Later
Erwin allows me an extra week off to visit Sina in Ehrmich District, where she is staying in a small house. When I ride horseback into the district, the gate closes behind me and I am usually welcomed by the townspeople, especially women as they fan their faces at my presence.
"Oh, Captain Levi! Come have a drink with us!" One of the ladies offered as I made my way through the stone road and I gave them a cold stare.
"Not interested. I'm in a hurry." Then, I leave the crowd behind and start searching for the house.
Not long after, I climb off my horse to walk over to the door and give it a few knocks. My heart pounds, hoping she will respond and I straighten up with anticipation when the lock on the other end clicks. When the door slowly swings open, my eyes meet Sina's and instantly, a weak smile grows on her rosy lips. "Levi? You're back so soon."
"You don't sound very excited to see me."
"Oh, no. I'm truly happy you're back." Sina genuinely says and I scan her dark, brown hair that is hanging down on her back. Her hair has gotten longer. She still seems exhausted as usual, but in my eyes, she is still stunning.
"Sina—" I get interrupted when Sina suddenly coughs with a hand clutching her heart. My face turns cold when her eyes roll back, losing focus. When her knees bend, I sweep her into my arms to carry her into the house. I can feel her hand take ahold of mine to barely squeeze it, the other handing limply in my arms.
Rushing to the bedroom, I lay her down in bed and leaned over to pat her cheek a few times for a response. "Oi, Sina! Are you alright?" I then fight back the lump blocking my throat when she groans. She's obviously hiding her condition from me.
"I'm sorry, Levi... that you have to see me like this..." Sina croaks, her eyes still closed and I shake my head in disbelief.
"You could harm the baby if you're not careful!" I raised my voice when she almost fell to the floor. "I recall that you're usually pretty healthy. How did you become this sick all of a sudden?"
"I'm just feeling under the weather. That's all."
"You've been having a fever for a few months now. That's not normal if you ask me." I attempt to backtrack how she fell sick. The only thing that rings a bell was the disease back in Wall Rose. I am afraid to admit it, but only a professional can confirm.
My mind is filled with a gloomy storm, but as soon as my hand slips into hers, the storm comes to a calm. I stare at the silver ring around her slender finger and fidget it with my thumb. Then, I gaze down at the baby bump. To this day, I am still fascinated by our baby growing inside of her. I am so proud of Sina for pulling through, and because of that, I am going to be a father soon. But, will I become a good father to our child?
"Why do you look regretful?" Sina appears to be observing my face now that her eyes are cracked open. It's like she can see through me.
I lower my head, still holding her hand as I recall something. "Do you feel like I'm keeping you away from the world?" This whole time, I have been holding her hostage ever since Abel passed. She has so much potential, yet I am caging her like a bird. Am I too overprotective?
"It was my choice after all." Sina says with a hint of sadness. "As much as I wanted to go further beyond the walls, I can't imagine leaving you behind."
"No, I forced you... to stay inside the walls." I correct, telling her I was the one who made that choice. "You're here because I'm selfish."
Sina swallows a lump down her throat. Since she chose to stay silent, I then ask her, "So I want you to decide. What do you truly want?"
After a moment of thinking, Sina sighs with a bittersweet smile. "I want to see the entirety of this world. No matter what."
"You won't regret it?"
"Why would I?" Sina blinks. "I know you will fight until the very end and from there, we can live freely without titans roaming around. The world is much bigger than we can imagine." Although I had warned her of the many dangers of the world beyond the walls, Sina has a different perspective, so danger is out of the picture.
"If you want to see the outside world so badly, then I will let you. Once you feel all better, of course. And when there's little to no titans." I promise her. "I may not know why you want to venture out, but I will do anything to help you get there. Just know I will come along with you."
Her smile warms up my heart. "Once we have this baby, maybe we can even spend our lives outside the walls. We can even build a house out there!"
"Is that where you want us to get married?"
"That's such a great idea!"
I let out a slight chuckle. "I'm still baffled as to why you are so keen to the outside."
"Oh, Levi. The outside world is vast." Her eyes sparkle with excitement, which I find very cute. "Adventuring outside is way more fun than in the walls. Just telling you will spoil the fun. You just have to wait and see."
"Fine, I'll be patient then." Despite her sickness, she suddenly has this burst of energy when talking about such things. At this point, I will do anything to keep her this way if it means to see the outside together.
⚔︎
Two Weeks Later
Days go by as I take care of Sina and since I need to return to the military soon, I hire a nurse to watch over her on my behalf.
When Sina grew sicker, my heart grew heavier as well. According to the local doctor, she indeed caught the disease and it is best for her to stay indoors. The doctor suggests me to limit physical contact with her, which angers me to the core. The nurse assigned to Sina is named Eden and she actively takes care of her. Of course, she allows me in the house, but I can only watch Sina suffer. Every time I see Sina, I desperately want to take that pain away inside of her and make it my own. If only it was that easy, she will no longer suffer.
Ever since Sina started her medications, she has been coughing less and seems relaxed... until one winter evening. I return to the house with some firewood to find Sina sitting outside the house in the middle of the snow without a coat on. Nurse Eden is kneeling beside her, begging Sina to get inside and I drop the firewood to sprint over, gripping her bare shoulders. "What the hell are you doing out here? You're going to freeze to death including our baby!"
"Levi... you're home." Sina stares straight ahead, seemingly caught in a trance. The skin on her arms and legs are pale. Her eyes are dull as they are sluggish and she slowly focused on mine.
"I picked some berries for you..." Sina whispers with a weak smile; her lips chapped due to the harsh cold and I gaze down at her pink hands. Nurse Eden and I turn white, because all she is holding is a handful of snow.
"Sina..." My voice cracks as we witness Sina losing her sanity; more like herself. When we watch her take a bite from the snow, tears start to build up in my eyes. I feel so hopeless.
"Miss Sina!" Nurse Eden panics when Sina coughs out blood into the snow and Sina falls into my chest when her body loses all strength. That's when I quickly carry her into the house with Nurse Eden. To hell with the consequences. I would rather get sick with Sina than watch her suffer alone.
After cleaning and putting Sina to bed, she falls silent. But for her breathing, it grows deeper. Nurse Eden thinks the medication is causing Sina to have hallucinations, so she plans to contact the doctor the next day to prescribe her a different medication.
When Nurse Eden and I step out of the bedroom, we walk to the living room with our head hanging low. Then, I speak up. "Tell me. How bad is it?"
Nurse Eden's eyes widen at my question, because she can tell I am desperate. Desperate to hear the truth when I already know it. My dark eyes warn her not to lie, so she gulps. "Her health is... not improving."
Though I find it difficult to let everything sink in, I continue to cling onto hope. "Were there people that survived this disease?"
"From the cases I've seen, there weren't many positive outcomes. Some were worst cases." Nurse Eden implies, which struck me hard. It hurts so much that I eagerly want to destroy everything in sight. Some scenarios are beyond a person's control.
Then I ask depressingly. "What about the baby?"
Nurse Eden is visibly hurt at my expression and her mouth hangs open. "The baby will be fine." She reassures. "I will do everything that I can while you are gone."
"I appreciate you." I say lowly. "If anything happens, please write to me."
Another expedition is right around the corner once I return to the Headquarters, and I feel guilty for leaving Sina behind. Knowing her, she understands my job and does not blame me for anything.
The next morning, Nurse Eden and I say a final goodbye before my departure. When I turn, I spot Sina standing behind a cracked door of the bedroom. She covers her mouth, turns around, and shuts the door. I hear her sob against it as she does not want me to see her crying. Watching her silhouette before she closed the door left a sour feeling lingers in my heart.
Slowly, I make my way over to the door to place a hand on it. "Sina..."
I hear her sniffling on the other side and her voice cracks. "Don't worry about me. I'll feel better by the time you come back."
"Listen, Sina." I beg softly. "I'm not sure how long I will be away, but promise me you'll keep waiting?"
"Of course." Sina whispers. "Once you come back, we are going to start a new life together. With our baby."