RUNNING ERRANDS would probably the only contribution I had in this project instead of leading with the principal investigator of this team. This had been happening to me while the market research associates and analyst were carrying a burden of dealing with the technicalities of planning for the presentation. Aside from that, pumalpak na rin kami at nakikita 'yon ng buong marketing department. I was even ashamed to enter our house and face my Dad. Ano na lang ang sasabihin niyo kapag nalaman niyang ngayon palang ay pumapalpak na ako?
For the passed few days, specifically fourteen working days, I knew for sure that this team were pouring tremendous effort for this particular market research assignment from the chief executive officer. Catherine had been doing great on her job even though her seniors were not able to guide her at the moment. Nola, Florence, and Yno succeeded in producing sample surveys so we had meetings already about it. It was as well subject to run through the Jocson's pilot testing system. So far, it was going smoothly. Pati ang mga listahan ng showrooms na kailangan naming puntahan, naka-ready na rin. However, we could not move to the next step. . .
Hindi kasi na-approve ang petty cash ng budget department. I didn't know why Koa even pushed me to make a proposal for that. He even blamed me for writing poor documents to support our claim of needing it. Suck the must have money! Pwede namang maglabas na lang ng pondo for that, kesyo sinasabi niyang huwag daw dapat kami maglapag!
But, of course, I insisted. Kaysa mangarag kami, ako na lang ang nagprisinta na umako ng pera. Yet for that, he scolded me! Siya na lang daw kung ganoon! I just. . . I just didn't get him! Magulo rin talaga ang utak ng isang 'yon. Ever since, he really had this attitude of being either too hesitant or hideous. Honestly, I didn't like this part of him, I was even offended at the moment. Gusto ko lang namang makatulong sa team!
"Isang linggo na palang wala si Ms. Nola." Nang lingunin ko ang biglang nagsalitang si Catherine, nakatunganga ito habang nakasimangot.
Kasalukuyan kaming nasa Jocson Resto at katatapos lang kumain. Naisipan naming magpahinga muna rito saglit. Besides, the moment we stepped into the office, we zoned in to work in no time. Kami lang ngayong tatlo ang magkakasama dahil nga wala si Nola at mukhang wala rin sa mood si Florence na makisama sa amin.
I tilted my head as I put down my phone on the table. "Baka may inaasikaso lang yung tao. Nag-file naman ng leave," I reasoned out. Although at the back of my head, a week or so was too much. Nataon pa talagang may ginagawa kaming project. At pinayagan ito ni Koa, hindi ba siya nag-iisip? Hindi man lang ba siya nakaramdam sa mga maiiwan? He didn't have a good sense of leadership, I guess. Psh!
"Parang ang ngarag natin," Catherine commented. She even put her chin on the table as she slammed her arms to rest on it as well. Mukha siyang pagod na pagod sa itsura niya. Siya lang din kasi ang sumasagot ng inquiries na para sa opisina namin. And truth to be told, nakaka-drain kumausap ng iba't ibang tao.
"Yeah," I just replied out of nowhere. Then she faced me and that became a trigger for me to vent a little bit. "Tapos yung boss mo pa, ang hirap pakisamahan," I said with full of underlying comments.
Catherine heaved a sigh. "Palibhasa ex-boyfriend mo, Ms. Athena," she teased me.
My eyes rolled with a smirk on my face. "Nope. Hindi ko talaga gusto ang takbo ng project natin kaya sana ay mag-contemplate din siya sa mga decisions niya. It really shows bad leadership." My voice tried to show conviction as I explained about my opinion objectively. "Although. . ." I took a pause. "Pumalpak din naman ako." And with shaky voice, I was hesitant to admit that in front of them but I needed to, out of professionalism, at para hindi nila isiping may galit ako kay Koa para ibunton sa kanya ang lahat.
Catherine bobbed her head as if she agreed immediately.
But Yno didn't. He fixed his glasses then put down his hands on the table as he willingly faced me. A smile crept on his lips, then he spoke, "Parehas naman. . . Sa tingin ko, lahat tayo ay may lapses na ambag sa project. Sadyang halata lang yung inyo ni Sir Koa. Aligaga rin siya talaga kaya agree ako sa sinabi mo." He said that without emotions, I would say.
Saglit ko siyang tinitigan. There was something mysterious about Yno that I couldn't point out. Kahit na nagbibigay siya ng mga opinyon sa ganitong bagay at magaling siyang makinig, hindi siya nagbibigay ng tungkol sa kanya. There was something about his vibe, or maybe because he was trying and that made him looked so weird.
I was just thrown back to reality when Catherine made a hissing sound. "Alam mo, Ms. Athena, kahit walang nakakaalam na may ugnayan kayo dati ni Sir Koa, ramdam na ramdam ko yung tensyon sa pagitan niyo." She even slapped the air. "Kahit kayo yung partner dito sa pag-lead sa amin, parang may competition pa rin? Ayan ba yung rason kung bakit kayo naghiwalay?" Her voice might seem unsure but she just hit the spot for me to look back at those times.
But before I could respond to what Catherine said, my phone beeped. Nang tingnan ko ito ay bumungad sa akin ang message niya. Speaking of the devil. . .
Koa:
Can you come back to the office earlier? I need you here.
I rolled my eyes after reading Koa's message. Kahit hindi ko sabihin kay Catherine ay natawa na siya agad kaya dali-dali siyang nag-ayos ng gamit niya para maghanda sa pagtayo namin.
Pabalik na|...
Pabali|...
Pabalik na po, Sir.
The moment I sent it, I stood up and walked out from the canteen with them. Malapit lang naman ang Jocson Resto kaya mabilis kaming nakabalik sa office. Si Catherine at Yno ay bumalik na sa kani-kanilang cubicle samantalang dumiretso naman ako sa head of market research unit. Then cleared my throat as a sign that I was already in front of this busy person. Pwedeng nagbi-busy-busy-han lang!
Nang maiangat niya ang tingin niya ay mabilis sa alas kwatro pa siyang tumayo. Koa removed his coat and rolled up his sleeves just in front of me. That gave me an access to his a bit veiny arms. Napatingin ako saglit doon.
Koa snapped his fingers annoyingly. "Get ready," he uttered.
"Why?" I sounded hesitant and stubborn with my tone.
"The marketing department allowed me to do ocular. And that's today."
Mabilis kong kinuha ang shoulder bag ko at bumalik sa harap niya. "Saan tayo?" tanong ko habang kinakapa ang susi ng kotse sa loob ng bag. Hindi ko yata nalagay sa isang pouch. So I struggled a bit because he seemed in a hurry.
"We'll use my car. I'll drive." Napataas lang ang kilay ko at hindi na naman nakapagsalita dahil bigla na lang siya umalis sa harapan ko.
Lagi na lang! Manners, Sembrano! Manners!
My eyes rolled. Wala nga akong nagawa kung hindi sundan na lang siya hanggang parking. Nang mapansin ko ang kotse ni Koa, nakita kong nakatingin siya sa akin at naghihintay.
A smirk suddenly formed on my lips. My brilliant mind thought of something as I sashayed my way to him. At imbis na buksan ko ang pinto sa passenger seat ay dumiretso ako papuntang back seat. Without talking to him, I leaned backward and relaxed myself.
Pinigilan kong matawa nang marinig ko na parang may sasabihin siya pero hindi niya na naituloy. Malakas ang buntonghininga niya bago siya nakapagsalita. "Sleep, so you'll have energy for later."
I just slapped the air and had no time to speak. Masyadong komportable ang inuupuan ko kaya hindi ko nga namalayang nakatulog ako. Which was the best decision I made today.
Hindi ko akalain na pagbabang-pagbaba ng kotse at magsisimula na ang kalbaryong haharapin ko. There was no minute that we didn't argue. There was no minute that our ideas clashed just by choosing the right palette or even just the direction of the showroom we were imagining. Idagdag mo pa ang pagod sa buong pag-iikot. So tired. So mad. So sad. So disappointed. Ayan na lang yata ang mga emosyong nararamdaman ko nitong mga nakaraang araw. Stressed na nga sa trabaho, dinadagdagan pa nitong si Koa. This ocular in one of the most famous furniture store became so frustrating with him. Walang sawang batuhan ng mga ideya, iringan, at asaran. And at this moment, I was feeling the rage towards him!
"I guess this will work more if we will focus more on industrial style with modern takes. That way, makikita ang iba't ibang angle sa designs na 'yon." Koa was caressing his chin while thinking too deeply beside me and also looking at this particular showroom.
Black and white were the main colors of the furniture and wall decorations. Some lines where gray and brown to make some edges softer and not make it the whole concept boring.
My brows raised when an idea popped out of my mind. "Isn't it redundant? Kung puro ganoong perspective pero iba't ibang approach lang ang makikita nila? Paano natin masho-showcase lahat ng new furniture natin? We should be diverse on our launch." Confidently, I opposed, thinking that would be better as an outcome in our presentation.
Koa immediately shook his head with an annoying sneered face. "I don't think so. We need to pick a theme first on our launch. As is for three months. Para hindi rin masyadong overwhelming to work on it para creatives at sa mata ng mga tao kapag nakita na ang outcome." Why was he too confident with his propositions?
"Isn't it the purpose?" I uttered in an obviously sarcastic way.
"No. Believe me," without looking at me, Koa uttered, firmly as if he even made a research out his opinion. He seemed so calm and controlled while thinking about this argument.
And I'm starting to get irritated.
"Why?" I almost exclaimed at him while suppressing myself to lean closer.
Pero matapos noon ay hindi na siya nagsalita pa at tumalikod na lang. Tingnan mo 'to, hindi talaga marunong magpaliwanag!
"Can't you answer real questions? Kaya ka iniiwan e. Hindi marunong makipag-usap," I whispered to myself as he went farther than me. Still enough to hear that I was saying something, but won't understand it properly.
"What did you say, Ms. Jocson?" See? Tama ako. Doon lang siya mati-trigger?
I didn't say a thing and just looked at him blankly.
Maybe pissed, nahilamos niya ang kanyang mukha. Then he glanced at me. "Sino sa atin ang mahilig mag-walk out at hindi marunong makinig sa paliwanag ng iba?"
That hit a nerve on me. Hindi ko naiwasang mapaatras sa pwesto ko habang tinuturo ang sarili ko. Sino ba siya sa tingin niya? We were here for professional matters. So why was he coming at me for this reason? He was clearly pertaining to our past relationship! "Never kang nagpaliwanag," mariin kong tugon. Hoping that stung.
"I did," he said with so much emphasis. "Hindi mo lang pinakinggan at inintindi," then he added, sounding like his statement has an underlying meaning.
"Are you saying I'm dumb to understand you? So is it my fault?" My voice surely and abruptly turned louder.
Hindi siya agad nagsalita pero sinuklian niya ng parehas na tingin ang mukha ko. "Ano ba ang pinag-uusapan natin dito, Athena?" Mula sa bibig, napako sa mga mata ko ang tingin niya. Ilang segundo rin ang itinagal ng titigan namin na walang kumikibo o gumagalaw man lang.
Slowly, his expression changed. There you go. . . .his gentle gazes, his teasing pouty lips, the well-structured edges of his face. . . Pangit nito!
I shook my head as I couldn't think properly and tried to collect myself. Umiwas ako sa gawi niya habang patuloy na iniisip ang mga nasabi ko pati ang hulma ng mukha niya. My mind was clouded with a lot of things, idagdag pa ang stress na nararamdaman ko ngayon.
Pero. . .
Akala ko wala ng magpapapangit sa araw ko hanggang sa bigla akong nakaramdam ng kakaiba at bumagsak doon ang isip ko.
Saktong sikmura. . .
Tanginang gutom 'to! Panira!
Napalingon lang ulit ako sa gawi niya nang tumawa siya. Kaya naman sinamaan ko siya ng tingin dahilan para tumigil siya at pinili na lang tumikhim. Koa intended to get my attention, and he succeeded. Nakatuon na akong muli sa kanya.
"I'm sorry. . ." Napakunot-noo ako nang sinabi niya iyon. Para saan? Para sa buong araw na 'to o para sa mga nangyari noon?"
Nawala doon ang isip ko nang dugtungan niya ang sinabi niya. "Let's just eat inside the nearest mall here," Koa stated.
Wala naman akong nagawa kung hindi tumango dahil gusto ko na rin namang kumain.
Then I realized while he was driving, maybe Koa, he was still aware that I never ate just anything to the point that we would have to go somewhere else to have food in our stomach.
Well, I kinda. . . Kinda appreciate that.
It wasn't a long ride. Mabilis din kaming nakahanap ng kakainan naming restaurant. Baka alam na ni Koa kung saan kami kakain, baka naramdaman na rin niyang gutom na ako.
Natatakam na ako nang maamoy ko ang pagkain kahit dalawang resto pa ang madadaanan namin, pero napatigil ako nang may malingon sa kabilang side.
A souvenir stall. And they got cute stuff.
Huminto ako saglit sa harap noon at hindi inabalang tapikin man lang ang nauunang si Koa.
Napansin siguro ako ng saleslady so she went after me.
"Ma'am, ito po!" Iniangat niya ang dalawang bracelets. "For couple po, para sa inyo ni Sir," she even added.
Napakunot-noo ako at mabilis na napalingon sa likod. Bumungad sa akin ang nakangising si Koa. Nang magtama ang tingin namin saka siya nagsalita, "Kunin natin?"