◈ 𝒎𝒂𝒚𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒆'𝒔 𝒑𝒐𝒗 ◈
Forever was meant for Bax and I. The moment that we met, we should have known that destiny was ours. Unfortunately, we lost a good few years of time together. Life got in the way, but nevertheless, we ended up locked together and more in love than ever.
I'm not saying our relationship was any easier, because it surely was not. But we did found what worked for the two of us. Or I guess maybe I should say three of us.
I left my boyfriend the moment Bax and I decided to give us another chance. Well, he actually did it before I could. It was undeniable from anyone looking in, that Bax and I would never be able to love anyone else the same. We could try our hardest, but it would never be good enough.
We've been together raising Max as a family for a year now, and it's been a completely different experience. I finally don't have to deal with the constant screams of unhappiness from our child. I don't think he's cried once in the year. Not even from a tumble or a head bump. He's a completely different child. One we can all bare to be around now. I guess he knew what he wanted—his father. Even if he hadn't met him he knew something was missing. I swear every day it's more acknowledgement that my brother lives with him. It seriously warms my heart to the core.
My dad's visiting for the first time since he checked himself into treatment. We offered to come out and see him, but he wanted to see our lives here. My mother though, she'll never see the light of day and he's finally come to terms with that. He's dedicated his time to helping those going through the same struggles he has been suffering with. He's the man I missed for far too long.
He eats up Max. My dad spends every waking second with our son—and I trust him. He gives Bax and I much needed time alone. Him visiting was everything that I hoped for and honestly, I wish he wasn't leaving so soon. The trip was never meant to last forever but Bax and I know best what nonexistent parents are like. Fortunately, it's taught us to how to make sure our kid never has to go through that.
I want to say the hardest part of everything is life when Bax leaves. He wants Max to have a normal life so whenever he needs to run off to surf, it can be rough. It's the only downside to our relationship. Sometimes I feel alone. But at the end of the day, at least I know he'll come back. I never had to worry about leaving him again. We were both better in every way. We realized that life without one another was miserable. We didn't want to experience that again.
I'd have to say the saddest part of everything is having no dreams or aspirations. I was never really pushed to have goals. After losing Max everything around me kind of crumbled. I didn't really have much to live for. I have things to live for now, but the only thing that matters is being with Bax. I know that may sound sad but it's the truth. My life revolves around him. There is nothing else I want to do with my time. And it makes me feel pretty useless when it comes to contributing to our family.
Bax has been working me through all that. It's something that will take time to learn how to handle in a positive light, but we will get there. I'll find a passion one day, even if it is just being a personal cheerleader for all my friends in all of their endeavors. That jobs a pretty good one to have. As much as Max loves the water, there's no place he'd rather be with his mom then at the beach.
A few months pass when I get a gut wrenching phone call. I don't eat for days; I don't leave my room. I've sleep in a vomit covered shirt for a few days. Bax has done his best to care for me, but it's a lot to deal with taking care of two people while still doing his own job. I just had zero to give and he needed to provide one hindered percent of everything.
My dad had driven himself off the cliff right before the place Max had passed. The very cliff that had to hold myself back from doing the same. The only thing that stopped me was Bax being in the car beside me. I never thought in a million years I would have to deal with this again. He was doing so well. When he was visiting he was so happy, especially with Max. But sometimes no matter how much help someone gets, it's still not enough. All it takes is one trigger to send them flying.
"My love, let's get you into the shower." Bax kisses the top of my head as he lifts me from my cripple state, carrying me into the bathroom.
He spends the next thirty minutes scrubbing my body clean, just spending an intimate moment with me. A moment we haven't had since the accident. I don't even know if I've slept at this point. I feel like I'm not living. But I wish I was.
We don't fly home for any funeral. The only people who would have shown up are Bax, Max and I. There was no point. Instead, I instruct—Bax instructs them—to just bury my father next to Max. That way he is where he has always wanted to be since Max passed. He freed himself of the burden, but left us all trapped in a cage. But it's okay, because he is at peace with the person he always loved most.
◈ 𝒃𝒂𝒙'𝒔 𝒑𝒐𝒗 ◈
Her hair smells like vanilla as I brush a comb through her damp hair. Summer's spent the last two days watching Max with Ari as I attempt to make headway into opening up May's guarded heart. She's officially lost everything she ever knew growing up. I thought that she would wither away into a vegetable, but she hasn't.
Sure, she hasn't left her bed. Sure, she's made herself violently ill from the situation. But she was not a vegetable. She was a human feeling human emotions. She wasn't a shell. The fact that she had any reaction at all, was a sign that she's doing better than expected. The fact that I have been able to convince her to sit naked with me in the shower to make her back into herself, that was progress.
"This may be an inappropriate moment to share this, but my love..." I place a soft kiss to her bare shoulder, "you're so fucking beautiful." I drop her brush to the counter and wrap my arms around her toweled body. I rest my chin gently onto her shoulder as I look at our reflection in the mirror.
"Thanks." She half smiles, not meeting my gaze at her. Instead she focuses her attention on the counter, swiftly freeing herself from my grasp, returning to our room.
I follow quickly on her heels. "Anything you want to talk about? I miss your voice." My voice is soft as I speak. I don't want to pressure her into sharing what she's feeling, but the world was beginning to feel so lonely without her. I had already lost her twice. Three strikes and you're out, I didn't want to risk that. Never ever again.
"You're still naked." Her eyes shift to my dick and a tad bit of embarrassment pings.
"You are too." I try to hide it with any sort of comment back.
"Make love to me." She lets her towel drop to the floor and I can't help but admire the sight before me. No matter how many times I see her naked body, it doesn't get old. She is stunning, perfect. Even after carrying our son. Honestly, I find her even more perfect now. Her body is lived in and scarred. It's damaged and yet still perfect and beautiful. And I make sure she knows that as I do exactly what she asks.
It's been months since her father's passing and we are all doing well. May has come to terms with everything. Max is turning four in just a few days and I have no idea how time has flown by so quickly. Maybelle is working on writing a book on her story. More like her family's story. She hasn't let me read much, but what I have read is absolutely beautiful. She has always had a way with words. But instead of using them for manipulation, now she's using them for good.
There is no other girl I would rather spend my life with. Continuing to have her in my life is everything I could ever dream of. I'm glad I let the demons slip by. I'm glad she let her—now—distant ex go. And I'm glad we're getting to make a family together now.
"Daddy!" My thoughts are interrupted as Max runs to jump into my arms. I pick him up and spin him. "Mommy surprise today?" He's asked me this every day for the past three weeks. It's quite charming honestly.
"Do you want it to be today buddy?" I finally give in to his question. I normally feed him a not yet response waiting for the right moment to drop the surprise. But what's the sense in waiting any longer.
"My birthday!" He exclaims, a big smile plastered across his face. His birthday would do. So we wait the few days until the surprise is officially revealed. I'm honestly shocked he's been able to keep it this long. But when you offer kind an endless supply of candy and ice cream, you win them over.
All of our friends are gathered together for Max's fourth. It's nothing too big or over the top. Max spends most of his time bullying Ari into playing on the bounce house with him. Ari has a guilty conscience—has a hard time saying no. He's a sucker for anything Max asks him to do. I'm honestly quite glad that him and Summer worked out. They did truly fit together, just like May and I did.
"Hey babe." I wrap my arms over May's shoulders, resting my head on top of hers. "How you feeling today?" She's been feeling a bit sick lately. I've woken up in the mornings to her throwing up. We think it's a stomach bug that just won't kick the bucket.
"Better." She sways side to side in my arms and I move with her. Her long summery dress flowing as we move. She looks beautiful, glowing even. I can't help but admit that I fall more in love with her every day.
"I'm glad because Max and I have a surprise for you today." I kiss her cheek.
"I have one too." She smiles at me, looking over her shoulder.
"Has our kid been keeping things from both of us?" I raise my brow at her and she laughs.
"I guess so. What did you promise him?" I explain, and she laughs more. This kid was swindling us for candy, ice cream, and all the surf lessons with daddy he could ever ask for. Seems like May wanted a bit of alone time from a sugared up child. I should have seen this coming.
"Max buddy, come here." I call out to him and he runs over sweaty, but with the biggest smile plastered on his face. "What surprise should go first? Mummy's or Daddy's?"
"Your kid has you both so whipped." Marlon laughs as he takes a seat next to Poppy. They were both still going strong. Honestly, we had all just stuck together despite going out and doing our own things. We all just grew up and stayed the same.
"Yours!" Max points to my chest as I lift him off the ground.
I call the attention of everyone, causing them to all huddle up around the table meant for eating cake and ice cream. But cake and ice cream was for another time. "Thank you all for coming to Max's birthday. May and I are so grateful to have had all of you over these past few years. Helping us in our relationship, being great second parents to Max. We couldn't ask for a better group of people to have around us."
Everyone cheers as the nerves begin to fill me. Max starts to bounce in my arms as the excitement begins to fill him. "So I don't think it would be fair if I didn't share this moment with all of you." I clear my throat.
"I might not have been here on this day four years ago, but I'm here now. And I want to be here with all of you—but more importantly—I want to spend the rest of my years with you Maybelle Grace." I look at May I speak, tears are already filling her eyes and it takes everything out of me to not start crying myself.
"What we have together is unmatched and I can't think of any reason to wait any longer. So babe, will you marry me?" I get down on one knee, placing Max on the ground beside me as I pull the ring from my pocket. I almost fumble it, but the nerves settle as her head nods at my question.
I stand quickly as we slide the ring on her finger together. Max picked it. Of course he picked it. There is no other way I would have had it. Even if it was the ugliest ring out there. The sentiment behind it was what mattered most. But I have to say, our son has exquisite taste. The ring is beautiful.
Everyone cheers as we seal the moment with a kiss. But now it's her turn. As she pulls away from the kiss, she leans forward, pressing her lips to my ear as she whispers, "I'm pregnant."
I was finally going to be a part of a journey I missed out on. This was going to be one of the best years yet and I was ready for the adventure we had coming our way.
We end up only having two children. We end up in a beautiful house by the water. We have a photo wall specifically made for the important people in our lives and every day we get to let our kids know about the uncle and grandpa they never got to meet. May's book does incredible and has nothing but kind words shared about it. I settle down once our daughter is born. We live like a normal family, with our best friends, leaving our troubled past behind us. It never creeps in. It stays out like we've been blessed with an angel. And I really think we have. Might even be two of them.
I never pictured that this is what my life would be like. But now I can never see it being differently. For the rest of my life I would never have to worry if I'd ever be burned again. I was finally free and so was she.