I didn't return to Velaris with my brothers. I couldn't sit in that damned House and dwell on what was happening to my Freyja. I needed a distraction, so I went to the next best place.
Cloaked in shadows, I walked the snowy streets of another war camp. It was not Windhaven; at least I was smart enough not to return to the grounds I haunted. This camp was further west of Windhaven, at least three camps away. I'd been here twice. Never to slaughter, but I was bloodthirsty.
My mind was clouded by the images of Freyja crying with come on her chin, her begging me to hurt her. I thought of Carys denying her food. I thought of Tamlin kissing her. Rage heated my blood to a fucking boil. My knife in a tight fist, I stalked through the dormitories of the younger legion.
I heard laughing, clinking of glasses, snoring. I filtered through the sounds, eyes cast to the snow swept ground as I drew closer to the windows. My teeth ground together as I continued to think of the female I loved. She was being raped in this very moment, and I couldn't do a fucking thing without starting another war.
Slaughter them all.
Steal her away.
Revel in the sounds of their blood choking them.
Make her forget who once touched her.
I stared at one dimly lit window, the wooden logs around it chipped and weathered. I heard a male's grunt. A bed squeaking. I heard a muffled cry. I stepped closer, leaning my head in. I scented his arousal, but I did not scent hers. My eyes snapped up, seeing the silhouette of a naked winged male. Hips thrusting, arms stretched out in front of him.
That rage simmered into something like satisfaction. I grinned, becoming my shadows. I stepped into the room, and it made me sick to know I was right. A female face was being pressed into the bed, her hands desperately clawing at his hand that held her down. The scent of blood filled the air; hers.
This may have been a mistake, but it would be therapeutic for me. I let my shadows fall away, blade glinting in firelight as I stepped closer. The fucking idiot didn't notice me, too wrapped up in his thrusts. I kept my shadows to my face as I flipped the blade in my hand, coming up behind him.
A shriek left him as my blade cut through his lower back. His arms spasmed as his legs lost their feeling, sending him to the ground. The female screamed, clamoring up the bed and gripping a blanket. The male was still in shock, so I took the chance to look up at her. Tears streamed down her cheeks, shaking hands holding the blanket to her chest. Her dark hair had my heart stuttering, but it was her brown eyes that reminded me she was not my love.
"Do you want to watch?" I asked her, lifting the blood streaked knife. Her eyes widened as she shook her head. "Then get into the skies. Go home, take a long way so no one follows."
I turned my focus down to the male so she had the privacy to dress. The male was clawing at the bed, desperately trying to get to his feet. I reached down, grabbing him by his hair. His wings moved weakly as he cried out. I lifted him, lifting my shadows enough for him to see my smile.
"You can't find a female willing to sleep with you? You need to fucking take it from them? You're a coward, a fucking coward who can't handle rejection," I spat at him, my blade dripping into his hair. His eyes were wide, a blend of fear and anger in them. I grinned wider, already tasting his screams, but a small voice interrupted.
"I cannot fly."
My head turned to the female, now wearing a tunic but no pants. The blood on her thighs had my own blood singing.
"You cannot fly?" I repeated. She shook her head, chest rising and falling rapidly as she glanced between me and the male.
"I've been clipped. Years ago now, but I am afraid to walk home."
I sighed, dropping the male at my feet. He grunted.
"I want you to get into that wardrobe over there. Plug your ears, do whatever you need not to hear this, and I will take you to your home. Do you understand me?"
She nodded, snatching a pair of woolen pants from the ground and rushing behind me. I heard the wardrobe door shut, and then I was on him again. I grabbed him by the hair, throwing him onto the bed. His legs flopped with the force, making me laugh. I climbed up after him, my knee going into the wound on his lower back. He panted, clawing at the bed.
"How does it feel? Being beneath someone and powerless? I could do anything to you and you could not stop me," I sneered. The blood loss was already getting to him, too much seeping before the wound healed.
"Who- who are you?" He asked, his voice shaky. I ran my tongue over my teeth, shoving down his already weak wings as I crawled my way up him. I gripped his hair again, yanking his head back.
"I'm the one who tortures males like you. Have you heard the nightmares of Windhaven? I am him, and I have you."
He whimpered as I shoved his face into the bed. I sat back on my knee, gripping the clawed end up his wing and twisting it up at an unnatural angle. He screamed and Mother, did I love the sound. I smiled to myself as I pressed the blade to the tendon beneath his wing, slicing up. He screamed again, not finished before I did the same to his other wing. Blood flooded his back, pooling at his spine. I swiped my fingers through it, humming at its warmth.
The muscles in his back flexed in a twitching motion, his shoulders moving with his rapid breaths. I grabbed him by the hair again, swiping his blood over his lips. I hummed as I dragged it up his cheek, not satisfied.
"You were smiling as you hurt her. I watched you smile as she bled around you. Does that make you feel good? Knowing you hurt her? Does it make you feel strong to have a female beneath you?" I taunted, climbing from him. His body went tense with another cry as I shoved him onto his back. His wing bent beneath him, my skin tingling at the sound of his bone crunching.
He was coated in blood and sweat, head thrashing as he clawed at the blanket. I left him there for a moment. My eyes lifted to the open curtains, a laugh bubbling in my chest. Using my bloodied knife, I tore the curtain down. I slit it in half and sheathed my blade. I took the male's arms and tied him to the headboard, using my usual knot. It wasn't tied loose enough for him to escape, though.
"S-stop," he whined, teeth chattering. I climbed over him again, straddling his stomach. I smiled as I tilted my head.
"But did you when she asked you to stop? Did you listen to her pleas?"
His eyes were wide, chest now moving with shallow breaths. I traced the smeared blood on his cheek with my finger as I withdrew my blade again.
"Come on, smile for me. You enjoyed it while doing it to her, didn't you?"
Another whimper escaped him as I clicked my tongue, hovering over him. I grabbed his jaw and shoved my thumb and forefinger into his cheek, forcing his mouth open. I gave him an exaggerated smile as I tucked the tip of my knife against his cheek. And then I sliced. He screamed for me, the sound making me realize I had limited time now. His screams would be heard and I was only in the mood to torture, not to fight. Blood sputtered from the torn skin, his teeth gnashing as he choked on his blood. I sat up, tapping his chin with my blade.
"There you go. That's a nice smile," I cooed. His shoulders began moving as he fought the restraints. I shuffled back, cringing at the feel of him through my trousers. I made quick work of cutting the tendon at his armpits. His arms hung limp, another scream tearing through him.
The door to the wardrobe creaked, making me snap my head toward the female. Her hand was over her mouth as she stared wide eyed at the male I sat on. I knew it was using valuable time, but I climbed from his body and beckoned her over. Her wide, terrified eyes remained on him as she slowly stepped to me.
"He cannot hurt you. I wounded him so he cannot move. Would you like to do the honor?" I asked, tapping my blade on the limp organ still smeared in her blood. Her eyes shot to me, chin trembling as though she would scream, too.
"Are- Oh, Gods- What?" She stuttered, shaking her head.
"If you'd like to hurt him back, take my blade. I will then end his life and take you home right away. If not, close your eyes."
She swallowed, eyes still on mine as she reached her hand out. I laid the hilt in her palm, closing my hand over hers. She seemed hesitant to get close to me, which I did not blame her for, but then her eyes fell to him. She took in the work I'd already done on him, a small gasp leaving her as she stared at the small cock that had stolen from her. I grinned in pride as she pulled her hand from mine and lifted the blade.
The male shrieked, begging her to stop, though he coughed on enough blood that his words didn't get through. She didn't touch him with her skin, only pulled her arm across her chest and swiped out and down. His stomach twitched with his scream, the limp organ falling between his thighs. The female gasped again, dropping my blade on his hip and scrambling backwards. I gave her a nod as she chanted something to herself- a prayer perhaps.
I took my blade and finished the job, slitting his throat down to the spine. I grabbed the edge of the blanket and cleaned my blade before sheathing it, and then wiping my gloves clean. The female whimpered as I reached for her. I wished I gave myself more time to do this in a way that made her more comfortable, but I already heard questioning whispers down the hall. I pulled her into me, drenching us in shadows and stepping through the wall. The moment we were free, I hoisted her into my arms and shot into the air.
"Where do you live?" I asked her. One hand clutched the back of my neck as the other shakily pointed below us. I dropped down, feeling the landing in my knees as I immediately began walking up the snowy path. A firelight was within the cabin, a figure moving in the window. I kept myself in shadow but laid her on her bare feet. She scurried away, a limp in her step as she hurried up the porch. I frowned at how she feared me, but I supposed I couldn't blame her.
I waited until the door slammed and a lock clicked in place. The figure in the window rushed away and I saw them pull her into their arms. I at least saved someone. I got my rage out somehow.
My heart was heavy as I brought myself to Velaris. I dropped onto the training ring, dragging my feet down the steps. As I turned to go to my room, to bathe and drown in my sorrows, Rhysand was there. Still dressed in his fine clothes, he stood in the sitting room. A bottle of whiskey was in his hand, half empty.
"Get rid of the shadows, Az," he demanded, sounding furious. I hadn't realized they remained on me. Swallowing, I wished them away. Rhysand took in my blood splattered appearance, inhaling.
"You went to the camp?" I nodded. He scoffed, throwing back another swig of the whiskey. I wondered how many bottles he's had, because he stumbled up to me. I lifted my chin, meeting his eyes as he grabbed the fabric of my jacket. I thought he'd cry again, or fall into me, but my brother shocked me. My head turned with the force of his fist, the bottle shattering against my temple. I felt the blood immediately.
"That was for Freyja," he spat, shoving me back and turning away.