LOGAN
"Hey, can I get out to use the restroom?" Kenzie looks up at me, her voice is suddenly very small and soft. When I look over at her she looks like she saw a ghost or something. So I nod and get out of the booth, the rest of the table is silent as Kenzie slides out of the booth with her purse in hand. We all watch her walk the opposite way of the bathroom and instead towards the front door.
"Uhm," Trevor hums.
"I got this," I sigh, turning to the rest of the group before quickly grabbing my phone off the table to rush after her.
I call after her as I make my way across the bar, "Kenzie!"
God damn it.
I push my way through the crowd and rush through the door. I look left and there she is, walking towards the end of the street.
"Kenz!" I shout and she stops to look back at me. "Wait!"
I jog towards her, coming to a stop in front of her as I ask, "What was that? I thought we were having fun!"
"We were," she pauses like she doesn't know what to say, "I'm sorry," she crosses her arms over her chest and looks down, "I just..."
"Tell me, Kenz, you can trust me, I promise." I want to just hug her. I don't care if she tells me what's really going on or not, I just want to make sure she's okay.
She looks up, tucking some of her short dark hair behind her ear, there's tears shining in her eyes, "I'm supposed to hate you."
"What?" I take a step back, "What in the world are you talking about?"
"You fucked up my life, I should hate you! It should be easier for me to ignore you! But here I am falling for you again...I think," she sniffles, still trying to keep the tears at bay, "I don't know, you're just so fucking easy to fall for. You're so charming and funny and of course you're fucking hotter than hot!"
I don't know what to say. Wait...she's falling for me again? Wait again?
"Never mind," she bits the inside of her cheek, "You don't get it," she pushes her fingers through her dark hair again.
I don't get it? Is she crazy?
"That boat day, that story," she sounds like she's gonna cry, "That day, was the first time you made us official, you spent the night and didn't leave before the morning. It was the first time you actually made me feel like more than a hook up."
Kenzie was always more than a hook up. I loved her and I think I still do. Things were different then, I couldn't give her the time she wanted, I was dealing with too many other things. I understand how confusing these feelings are more than she knows. But I can't say that, she's already spiraling.
A tear slips from her eye and she's quick to reach up and wipe it away, she shakes her head saying, "I shouldn't have come tonight, sorry. I'm gonna go home, have a good night."
"Don't go," I say when she finally looks up and her beautiful hazel eyes meet mine and all I want to do is reach out to touch her but I know I shouldn't. "Or at least let me make sure you get home okay."
"No, it's okay. You stay," she waves me off.
"I'm coming with you."
"No you're not, Logan. You're going to go back into that bar and leaving me alone for a while," her tone is strong and pointed, she's trying to put distance between us. And then she literally does as she starts to walk away.
God damn it, she's so stubborn and independent as fuck, two qualities of her's I love and hate.
"No," I say to myself, shaking my head following her. I stop her with my hand on her shoulder, spinning her to face me as I say, "No, Kenzie, I'm not. I know our past is fucked and I take full responsibility for that, but I'm gonna prove to you I'm not the asshole you think I am."
"I like you, Makenzie," I stare into her eyes getting lost in their sparkle, "I know it's confusing because of our past but I like you. I've always liked you, Kenz."
"Don't say that," she doesn't break eye contact.
"It's true." Before she can say anything in response I move my hand to her chin, cupping her face and pulling her to me. Our lips crash together, she gasps at first but her hands relax against my t-shirt covered chest.
Kenzie breaks the kiss, breathless as she looks up at me.
KENZIE
Woah....I liked that, more then I should of. No, Makenzie, no! He and I can't be together in any sense.
I shake my head backing up from him. His hands finally leaving my skin even though I feel cold now without him close to me. But I know how this ends.
"No," I say still backing up, "I have to go home. I can't do this again."
"Why not, Kenzie? Give me a better reason then my fuck ups."
"That's not a good enough reason for you?" Okay now I'm just annoyed.
"Do you realize how stupid I'll look if we got back together?" I continue taking a step closer to him. "What you did is unforgivable! But god for some reason I still want to be around you! You're like a drug, Logan! And I'm addicted and I need to fucking quit. This is me quitting you, cold turkey, I'm done."
I turn and walk away again. He doesn't follow me this time and I don't look back. I just keep walking until I'm around the corner so I can pull out my phone and get an uber home.
On the ride home I text my sister. It's a Saturday night, thirty minutes past eleven. Macey's probably out with her team or with Brandon so I don't call her. I don't wanna ruin her night too but I also need to talk to her.
makenzie: i've done something stupid
macey: what the hell did you do now???
makenzie: i went out with logan....
With in seconds of hitting send my sister's calling me. I take a breath staring at the photo of us as toddlers for a second before picking it up. I have to prepare for the verbal beating she's about to give me.
"Please tell me this is a joke, Kenzie," Macey says as soon as I hold the phone to my ear.
"I'm sorry," I sniffle, wiping my nose with my hand as I look out the window.
"Explain, now. And all of the details, Makenzie May."
I cringe when she uses my first and middle name. So uhm yeah safe to say she's upset but she's at least trying to not show it too much.
"We can talk tomorrow if you're busy," I say trying to get out of this conversation but she sees right through me.
"You're not getting out of this, Makenzie. I'm sitting watching a movie with Brandon, and it's paused until you explain."
I take a deep breath and go all the way back to running into Logan at Summer's birthday, then two of us sitting together on the flight home. Hell, I even tell her about him and I getting lunch, and me taking pictures of him at the rink. I tell her absolutely everything.
"Oh Kenz," she sighs when I finish telling her everything.
"I'm sorry I didn't talk to you sooner. I thought I'd see him at Summer's birthday and that would be it! But then he was everywhere and suddenly I was sixteen again following the cool older guy around," I sigh sinking into my seat as the driver turns onto my street. I start digging my keys out of my purse as Macey responds.
"I'm going to say something crazy," she prefaces.
"Hold on," I tell her as the driver comes to a stop.
I thank the driver and make my way inside.
"Alana?" Sam's voice echos from the living room as I lock the front door.
"It's me," I say as I make my way towards the main part of my house.
"Hey we were having a conversation!" Macey's voice rings through my phone.
I roll my eyes, "Give me sec!"
"Are you okay?" Sam quickly sits up when she sees me.
"It's been a night," I sigh, "But I'm on the phone with my sister, we'll talk after?"
"Alana's on her way back with food, want me to ask her to grab you something?" Sam offers.
"Yes, just whatever you think I'd like," I say as I start to walk up the stairs to my room. "Thank you!"
"Okay, tell me I'm dumb," I sigh as I close the door of my room and cross to my closet to grab a hoodie.
"I wasn't going to call you dumb," Macey laughs sounding like her sweet self again. I put her on speaker while I pull the UCLA hoodie over my head.
"I was going to say, maybe give him another shot."
I freeze with the hoodie halfway over my head.
"What?" I basically scream, quickly pulling the hoodie down the rest of my body. I pick up the phone, taking her off speaker.
"Why not? People change, Kenz," she says it so casually.
I don't have anything to say, I feel like I've stepped into an alternate universe. Actually, maybe, I'm sleeping and none of this is real.
"Do you hear yourself?"
"Kenzie, you're holding onto something he did years ago! Based on what you've told me, it sounds like he's changed. Plus when we were home, I bumped into him at that party and he seemed different. Hell he said sorry to me!" Macey explains as I sit on the edge of my bed listening to her.
"What?" I am so confused right now.
"It was a full on apology, he didn't even do anything to me personally but he apologized for everything, and it seemed like he really meant it, Kenz," she keeps talking, "And let's be honest, he didn't crash your car on purpose! You desperately needed new tires, it was raining and Cotton Lane has always had pot holes and stuff, people are always getting into accidents there! I mean yeah he shouldn't have been sleeping with other girls but I think he's learned his lesson. Grown up a bit, ya know?"
"Mace, do you hear yourself?" My brain feels like it's gonna explode.
I hear her sigh, "Kenz, if I had never given Brandon a second chance, we would have broken up years ago! And I'd still be thinking 'what if'. People make mistakes, people change. We were kids, of course we did dumb things. I say see where your feelings take you."
Macey's always been the soft, emotional twin and I've alway been the logical one. Because let's be honest, me and Logan more than likely won't end well even if I give him an another chance.
"I'll think about it, classes and practices start up again soon. I can't be dealing with this too. I need a break from emotions for a while," I sigh tucking my hair bending my ears.
"Stop thinking so much, just follow your heart, Kenz."
I take a breath. Maybe she's right.