"Push away all the people who know me the best. But it's me who's been makin' the bed."
August 9th, 2021.
Charleston, South Carolina
𓇼 𓇼 𓇼 𓇼 𓇼
Standing in the downpour of the morning rain beside the luxurious car that Rafe had driven here. Three days after the events that had taken place, leaving Rafe to feel a sense of discomfort when he had come into contact with his father. There was no indication that my friends had been found, and were filed as missing people in OuterBanks. Going to eat breakfast at a local restaurant that Rafe used to eat at when he was much younger and would go into Charleston for family vacations. Depression sunk into my body knowing that my friends weren't found, I got into the luxurious car and sat with silence. Rafe sat in the car beside me, his hand had sat on my knee cap out of comfort while he had started to drive. He stared at the road as he had driven towards the town that sat closest to the home we were staying in. The night that Ward had come back into our lives was the same night that nothing felt the same.
Rafe was healing after the "passing" of his father and became a man that was simply nurturing yet, the best boyfriend and future father that he could be. He was loving. Gentle. Caring. Charismatic. He still was all of those things and above but over the past couple of days, his drinking started up again almost as if he couldn't control himself which brought an unnecessary anxiety through my body which I knew was poisonous to me and the small baby that was growing inside of me. The scent of alcohol made me think of the nights that I spent with my friends being completely obliterated; but the same night that I had lost my virginity and ended up in the spot that I am in during this series of my life. Rafe ran his finger tips over my thigh that was covered with a soft pair of leggings, the rest of my torso was drowned in an over side quarter zip that had belonged to Rafe. Light music played with the trickle of the rain that fell against the window of the car. The windshield wiper constantly moved to remove the excess water in order for us to see the road in front of us.
Suddenly, my life felt like a horror movie.
I didn't know how my life would end.
Rafe was picking up his old drinking habits because of his father putting an immense amount of stress on him which he unknowingly didn't want to deal with the emotions that sat on his shoulders; drinking himself away. My friends were missing on a plane that couldn't be tracked. I didn't know if they were dead or not; my father contacted me almost everyday to update me that he would do all that he could to get as much information out of the police officers as he could. Just to bring a sense of comfort to me despite nothing could be done to make me feel more relieved. Rafe wanted to do all that he could to make me comfortable, but I felt like I needed to escape to live the best life that I could possibly live. I couldn't escape OuterBanks no matter how hard I wanted to, mad at myself for even suggesting leaving the state in a whole. I knew that no matter what, everything would slowly pull me back.
The sweet and warm summers I spent in the ocean water that brought pure bliss to me. Eating cold fruit after getting sunburnt on my freckled cheeks. JJ's tan arms wrapping around me while I stood in my kitchen with my wet bikini on, our friends joking around and throwing food into each other's mouths. Nothing made me happier than the summers that were placed in OuterBanks. When Christmas came around, there was nothing better than Christmas mornings. JJ and I would have a small sleepover in my bedroom on Christmas Eve after spending it with my grandparents, aunts, and uncles alongside my cousins. We would watch Christmas movies in my room and giggle about the dumbest ideas that we ever had growing up. We would sit around the Christmas tree in the morning to unravel gifts with another. Nothing was better than one gift he had given me the last Christmas we had together. He had purchased me a small Kate Spade bracelet that was gold, small initials for "P4L" were embedded into the bracelet. All my memories led back to OuterBanks; it was my home whether I had loved it or not.
Rafe stared at the road in front of him while he had pulled into the larger parking lot than the other ones that were in town. He parked in front of a small restaurant that was decorated like a beach town café, almost like the one in OuterBanks. He looked at me after parking, placing his hand on the keys that were in the ignition. "Ready, baby?" He asked as I stared out the window with no expression on my face. Watching the rain hit the window, I couldn't take my eyes away from it. I couldn't take myself out of the train of thought that I had. Feeling a sense of paralyzation. "Isla? Darling?" He asked once again and moved himself closer towards me. His hand reached towards my arm that caused me to flinch out of the thoughts that I was having. My breathing had become normal again, after having a small pant attack that scared me horribly from within. "Sorry, I was just on a train of thought." I told him in response while he examined my face with his dilated pupils whenever he had looked at me with love in his eyes. He placed his hand against my cheek. "Are you sure? Are you alright?" He had asked while running his thumb in small circles across the top of my cheek.
I nodded my head at him. Giving him a kind and small reassuring smile to make him comforted to know that I was alright. I opened the door to the passenger side, unbuckling myself from the seat and getting out of the car. Rafe followed behind me in the same steps. I shut the passenger door and rushed underneath a ledge that would cover me from the rain. The hat that Rafe wore on his head had prevented his head from being wet, but small raindrops sat against his shoulders while he had walked towards me with a smile forming across his face. "You're so beautiful." He commented as he had headed to the door that would lead into the restaurant's main lobby. "Thank you, my love." I told him with a smile that was brought from his sweet compliments. He nodded his head and held the door open for me, watching me walk into the café looking room. Spanish style decor was placed in the café. Blue tones reminded me of the small items that my mother had in his home to represent her Spanish side of her family, such as small tiles that were in a beautiful place in the kitchen. The scent of fresh orange juice lingered in the air while a hostess looked up from her place to see Rafe and I standing in the lobby. Rafe placed his hand on the lower part of my back. The hostess stood with two menus in her hand, waiting to greet us.
She was a short middle aged woman. She had dark hair that had small pieces of gray mixed into it at the roots. Standing around five feet, smiling warm and welcoming for the both of us. "How are you guys doing today?" She questioned and looked at the both of us with happiness gleaming into her brown eyes that seemed doe-like. Reminding me of Sarah. Sarah's big brown eyes that were full of joy and bliss whenever she came around anyone. She was a loving human being. She had a heart of gold and had been so incredibly gentle. She was unlike Kiara. Kiara was more feisty, she was able to get things done and was not a pushover. "Good, good. And you?" Rafe asked her with a smile overcoming his face that sat with tiredness. His blue eyes had been glazed over from his excessive drinking that he had done the night before. "Good! A table for two?" She asked him with the same doe-like look on her face. He nodded his head while she had turned her back on us, leading us to the table that sat closest to the window. The window sat under a large painting that depicted a large field with long lavender flowers. Depicted the dream that I had that was similar to twilight, the beautiful dream that made me excited for my future.
She sat down the menus in front of us. "I'll be back to take your drink orders." She smiled at us while I nodded at her with gentleness. She turned her back to us, walking away from where we had been seated. I turned to look outside the window that showed a small field that rain poured down in. Rafe looked at the menu, tapping his fingers against the Spanish tiled table. Silence surrounded us while other tables had been filled with generous people. Rafe's eyes gleamed upon me almost like he hadn't been able to pull his eyes away from me. His blue eyes fell with darkness as if he was depressed, and I wouldn't have blamed him if he was. His father was a liar. Abusive. Evil. Faking his own death just for the sake of nothing but to cause more pain in his own family's life. He reached over the table to my hand that was laying against the table. His soft touch made goosebumps form upon my skin. His large hand intertwined with mine while his thumb rubbed circles upon the top part of my hand. "Are you sure you're okay?" He asked me and narrowed his eyebrows in hopes that I would tell him the truth about what had been happening to me.
My mind felt like a clutter. I couldn't think straight enough to respond to Rafe, I just nodded my head at him in response to his comment. He narrowed his eyebrows even more to get a good glimpse at the look that sat upon my face. He became worried at the look that was formed against my face. Rafe kept circling the top of my hand with his thumb. He nodded his head, not wanting to even try to disclose what was happening with me. He didn't want to disrupt anything in our relationship unless we were at home, never in public. I rubbed under my eyes with the tip of my finger. The hostess had sent a young waitress over to us. The waitress was heavily pregnant. Beautiful. Glowing. I dreamt of looking that beautiful while being pregnant but was more fearful that I wouldn't look good enough for Rafe, despite him being obsessed with me. She had dark brown hair that reached to the bottom of her back. Her eyelashes were natural and wispy. She was the definition of beautiful. Hollywood Beautiful. Rafe stared at me as the young girl came over to us, the young waitress laid her small hand on her large pregnant stomach while carrying a notepad. She had a bright smile. Rafe turned to look at her once he realized that her presence was there. "Hi guys! How are you guys?" She asked in a small southern accent as if she wasn't from here.
Rafe glanced back at me. "Good! You?" I asked her in response and shifted my mood. She looked down at me with a warm smile on her face that was welcoming. "I'm great! What can I get started for the both of you today?" She asked and held her small notepad down alongside her pen. I tucked strands of hair behind my ear and thought about what I had wanted to drink. "Can I have some water please?" I asked her with a fake smile to cover up the sadness that sat in my bloodstream. She nodded her head at me, writing it down before she looked back up and glanced at Rafe. "Can I have iced tea, please?" He asked her and glanced down at her stomach that made her look like she was close to her due date. "Yup! I'll be right back with those drinks." She responded and turned her back on the both of us to place our drink order. Rafe had reached over the table once again, pulling my hand inside of his hand. "You're going to be that pregnant." He smiled gently in excitement thinking about the baby that was on the way.
I nodded my head as my eyes gleamed into his blue eyes that I hoped our baby would have. His eyes were full of excitement and happiness knowing that I would bring a small child into the world. "I have an appointment for an ultrasound in the next couple of weeks." I mentioned to him with a small smile almost forgetting about what was happening in our lives. His eyes widened. "Am I allowed to come?" He asked full of tenderness that made my heart skip beats just looking at him. Rafe knew how to make me feel just even by looking at me or speaking with his raspy voice that was deep enough to be stern. "You're the father aren't you?" I laughed at him to lighten the mood. "Of course you can come, my love." I told him and ran my thumb across the top of his hand that he had in mine. His smile brightened and was much wider than before. "When do we start working on the nursery at home?" He asked me with gentleness forming in his deep blue eyes before the waitress came up to the table, placing our drinks in front of us. "More than likely a couple months before the baby is born." I responded to him before nodding my head at the waitress in a "thank you" mannerism.
She smiled widely. "Are you having a baby?" She asked me with her southern accent. Her bright eyes fluttered around towards Rafe and I with curiosity. I nodded my head at her, smiling once again. "I am, I'm only a month pregnant though!" I told her as she nodded her head and tucked her notepad into the palm of her hand. She laid her other hand on her stomach, rubbing in a circular motion. "I'm due in a couple of weeks! Congratulations mama." She spoke in the same southern accent that reminded me of my great grandparents that were from the Deep South in Georgia. "Thank you! Congratulations to you." I smiled at her as Rafe had listened to the both of us conversing. He nodded his head and lifted the hat off of his head, running his fingers through his hair. "What are you having?" I asked her while Rafe looked through the menu. The waitress opened the notepad back to the tab that belonged to my boyfriend and I. "A boy and a girl. The boy is Coast Cruz and the girl is Isla Noel." She responded to me with the large same smile on her face. "That's my name! My name is Isla." I told her in excitement due to hardly ever hearing people with the same name as me. "Really? I love it. It's a beautiful name for a beautiful girl! I'll have to tell my husband that I finally met my first Isla!" She spoke with excitement almost as much as me. "Do you guys know what you want to eat or do you want more time to look at the menu?" The waitress had responded to me and glanced at Rafe, then back at me.
"I'm ready." Rafe spoke to her after he glanced up from the menu that sat in front of him. She nodded her head at him, waiting for him to tell her what he wanted. "Can I have a veggie omelet with a side of hash browns, please?" He asked the young Megan Fox looking woman that was glowing from her pregnancy. She nodded her head and wrote down what he wanted. She then glanced at me, smiling. "Can I have a piece of toast and a side of fruit, please?" I asked her while she wrote down what we wanted to order. She nodded her head once again and then opened her mouth to speak. "Absolutely. I'll be back with your order in no time." She spoke as she placed her notepad in her apron. She turned her back towards us, her long hair swinging side to side while she walked towards the kitchen where she would give the paper to the chef. Leaving Rafe and I in each other's presence once again, he stared at me with gentleness in his eyes. I swallowed the lump in the back of my throat as we locked eyes with another.
I tucked small strands of hair behind my ears. I sat my hands inside of my lap, forming a soft smile at him to make him feel a sense of comfort. "What do you want to do after this?" He spoke aloud in the quiet café that was surrounded with a beautiful atmosphere alongside decor that was Spanish style. Shrugging lightly, I glanced back out the window and tried to focus on what was best for me during that moment. "Whatever you want is fine." I told him in response and watched the rain splash against the ground. He narrowed his eyebrows at me. "Would you want to go shopping for the baby and for yourself?" He asked and kept his eyes on me, admiring the small features that were placed on my face. I smiled gently once again at him. "You want to go shopping?" I asked him in excitement knowing that he just wanted to take any anxiety away from me as much as he possibly could. He nodded his head at me. "If it makes you happy, it makes me happy." He responded and lifted his hat off of his head, running his long fingers throughout his blonde hair that sat flat against his scalp.
My eyes glanced back into his bright blue eyes that made everything feel better. He always knew how to make me feel good about situations despite his drinking picking up over the past couple of days from immense stress. I placed my foot against his underneath the table, almost playing with his own feet like a child in elementary school. "You're so sweet." I told him as I crossed my legs over one another. He shook his head at me with a sweet smirk upon his face. "You turned me soft." He spoke once again with raspiness in his voice that made me crumble thinking, looking, and talking about him. I was obsessed with him in every single way. I didn't understand how I could be so in love with someone. I didn't think I would ever find true love until I met Rafe. He was like a drug that I couldn't get enough of. Being away from him was painful. I didn't think I could go a day without him now that we were sleeping together in the same bed, making me realize that I should just move into his home to be with him.
"I did, didn't I?" I smiled and laughed softly at him as I kept placing my feet against his underneath the table. He nodded his head. His smile made my heart melt just at the look of him. I felt like I was going insane. I didn't know how I got so lucky to have him, it felt unreal. The idea of him wanting to be in the child's life made me feel even more lucky. Sometimes men would shy away when they were too young, but this particular man wanted to stand beside me and love me throughout the pregnancy no matter what. Rafe had a pure heart of gold that was just confused at times. He took changing for me seriously the exact day I had told him that if he wanted me, he needed to change his behavior. He did just that. He didn't want me in the way that JJ had. Rafe wanted me because he actually was addicted to me in the most romantic way possible. He wanted what was best for us; despite him having trouble with his old habits after seeing that his father was alive. We didn't see his father after he kicked him out of the house. We didn't know where he had gone. He didn't go to see his family that lived beside the house we were staying in, making Rafe believe that Rose had picked him up and took him back to the OuterBanks to hide.
Crossing my legs over another, I rested my back against the small booth. Rafe glanced out at the pouring rain and watched the droplets hit against the ground. "I hope we have a girl." He mentioned out of the blue and glanced towards me with a gentle smile forming across his tan skin. "You do?" I asked him while the anxiety I had from earlier faded away from my shoulders. Almost like it was released when he smiled at me. "I do, I'll have two girls to love but either way I would still be happy if it was a boy too." He explained himself and fixed the hat that sat against his forehead. Covering his dirty blonde hair that was oily from the day before. "Your sister said we should name the girl Kodi Marella Cameron or Luella Cove Cameron." I mentioned it to him and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. I placed my fingertips against the multiple piercings that were in my ears, moving the earrings out of boredom. "I like both a lot." He commented with a large smile forming against his face once again.
3:00 pm.
Walking through the aisles of a small boutique that held baby items. Rafe trailed behind me with a smile across his tan skin, excited that we were finally getting a small start despite us being unaware of the gender. He grasped a hold of a small shark stuffed animal that was a light teal color with the belly being a cream. He held it up towards me and glanced into my eyes, staring down at me due to me being much smaller than him. "What do you think?" He asked me with excitement forming in his voice when he spoke to me. I smiled at him and grasped onto the small shark that reminded me of the same one I had since I was born. "I have had one like this since I was a baby." I responded to him and held the animal in my hands. He kissed the top of my forehead. "Maybe our baby should have one too." He shrugged his shoulders with a small smirk on his face. Smiling to myself once again, I nodded my head at him and placed the shark inside of the cart that he had been helping me push.
"Lucky our baby will have a beach themed room." I laughed at him as I started to push the cart once again down the aisle. He nodded and followed behind me, glancing around at all the sweet nursery items that were brand new to the both of us. "What type of colors should we do?" I asked him and turned to look at him. He shrugged with gentleness. "You do what you want, I just follow." He laughed lightly and shoved his hands inside of his pockets. I thought to myself for a second, staring at the baby items which had included sheets and other things that babies would need for their nursery. "What if we did cream with accents of different blues? It's kind of gender neutral and when we find out the gender, we won't have to change anything?" I commented to him and placed my fingertip against my lip while thinking more. He nodded his head at me and looked down at the items that we had already put in the basket. Small piles of bottles, pacifiers, stuffed plushies, and other items that were basic necessities.
He lifted his hat off of his head, running his hand through his hair. "That would be pretty cool." He stated in response to my question. Nodding my head, I bent down to look at the many bed sheet options for the crib. He stood behind me with his hands against the cart that was full of some items that were a good start. "Cotton sheets are probably best, no?" I asked him and glanced over my shoulder to look at my boyfriend that hovered over me protectively. He narrowed his eyebrows and stared at me. His brain processed what the difference was between cotton and different fabrics of sheets. "What do you use?" He asked and kept leaning against the navy colored cart. "Cotton on my bed." I laughed and grasped a hold of a pair of creme sheets, holding it in my arms. I stood back up and looked at the packaging that held the sheets in. "Your sheets at your house are soft so I think that is best." He spoke as I put the package into the cart before following him more down the aisle.
My phone started buzzing in my back pocket, making me narrow my eyebrows in confusion of who could be calling me during the middle of the day. Pulling my phone out, I saw Dad pop up on the screen. My father had been calling me which was unusual due to him being at work usually five days a week for many hours of the day. "Let me take this call really quick, it's my dad." I told Rafe as he nodded his head. "I'm going to look around." He spoke to me, I nodded my head and smiled at him before answering the phone. I placed the phone to my ear in excitement to talk to my father that I hadn't seen in a week. "Hi dad." I spoke into the phone and took a deep breath waiting for his response. I leaned my small body against the cart and looked around at the other items that were placed on the shelves. "Hi sweetheart. How are you?" He asked me with a tenderness in his voice that seemed shaky. "I'm good, how are you?" I asked him in return and tucked the extra fly aways behind my ears. "I'm alright. I called to tell you that I don't have the best news." He explained.
My heart sank inside my chest.
"What do you mean?" I questioned him.
"They pronounced your friends dead because they've been gone for a while, but I'm not giving up on finding them. I found a private investigator that is looking for them." He explained.
"I don't believe that they're dead. I just believe that the searching of the Royal Merchant took over their lives." My father explained once more.
Something in me wanted to drop to the floor and pour tears out of my eyes. I didn't understand how life was real at that moment. I tried not to panic at the idea of my friends being "pronounced dead" but something in me believed that they could be.
I didn't know what to say.
"Isla? You there, baby girl?"
Nothing made sense anymore.