Whispers of cold breeze in the air, the dancing trees and fallen leaves, the smell of blooming flowers, and the frozen melody of the birds singing is what I hear while sitting on the branch of my favorite tree in our garden.
Peace...
I inhaled the cold air of winter, I smiled and looked at the book that I am holding.
Amor in Silentium...
Such a beautiful book, a book filled with ugly and beautiful mistakes, I did not regret reading this book. I have learned a new lesson today.
Loving isn't just about staying and holding on. In love, you should always let go, especially in a love that is not meant for you.
I jumped off the tree branch and walked towards the flower garden, I sat on the ground covered in snow and plucked a rose, it's bright red, this color symbolizes love. I placed it in the middle of the book, I'll let this dry there, and turn it into a bookmark. I giggled with that thought, roses are really beautiful, that's one of the reasons why I love flowers, the beauty that they hold, and the hidden truth about them, every flower has it's own meaning, it's either a positive or negative meaning, and that's the main reason why I love them. They also reflect my feelings and emotions.
Whenever I feel down, I would always hold a chrysanthemum next to me. There are a lot of flowers that symbolizes sadness, but chrysanthemum is my favorite.
"Senorita, pinapatawag ka po ni ma'am. " I glanced and saw it was Nanay Lucile, she is my nanny, the one that treated me like her own daughter, unlike my mother. I smiled and ran towards her like a child ready to embrace her mother who just got home from work.
"Look nanay, it's pretty right? " I asked as a showed her the rose I picked in between the book pages.
"Maganda nga anak, parang ikaw. " She said and then laughed heartily, she looks so beautiful when she does that.
"Halika, pumasok ba tayo at baka magalit si ma'am kakahintay, kanina pa iyon. " She said and guided me to the living room where I saw my parents and sister chatting.
When my mother's eyes drifted on me, she then stood up and walked towards me.
"Follow me to the library. " She said which I immediately obliged.
She sat on the chair when we arrived at the library, and I just remained standing there.
"What is it that you want, mother? " I asked in the most polite voice that I have.
"I want your sister to explore and live in another country, and as the eldest, I want you to keep an eye on your younger sister. " She said while looking straight into my eyes. My sister is really lucky to have them all in favor of everything that she wants to do. I always wonder if a time will come that they would let me do the things that I badly wanted to do too.
"I don't see why not, to where will we be heading? " I tried to be happy hearing about the news.
"The Philippines, your Nanay Lucile will accompany you. " She added which made me agree with this matter wholeheartedly.
I was smiling from ear to ear as I went out of the room, then I happen to stumble upon my sister who is smirking playfully at me.
"Happy for me, sister?" She asked with her hands on her hips and raised brows.
"Why of course, why wouldn't I be happy for you?" I said while smiling from ear to ear. Truth is that, I'm more happy that Nanay Lucile coming with us. I saw how she dramatically rolled her eyes at me and sighed as if she was so done.
"Tch, tu es toujours la même salope innocente et crédule." She said sarcastically. "I bet you didn't understand, since your not that smart after all. That's what happens if you keep on reading those stupid books of yours." She then turned her back. She's actually wrong, I can perfectly understand her statement. I'm not gullible nor stupid, it's just that she looks highly of herself.
Sighing, I went straight to my bedroom, completely forgetting that I was supposed to go to Nanay and inform her about our new journey. As I went inside, I carefully placed the book on one of the shelves and went to grab another book. It's a book about learning basic Filipino language and dialects.
As I flipped through the pages I suddenly remembered something. I quickly stood up from my bed and grabbed my phone which was untouched for about a week. I quickly went to the contacts and looked for a certain number, once I found it, I gave it a call. Fortunately after three rings, that number picked it up.
"Salve... " I greeted.
"Huwag mo akong sina-salve salve na buwishitt ka, at ngayon ka pa talaga tumawag!!" I hissed at her oh so annoying voice.
"Calm down" I chuckled, this girl and her uncontrollable anger issues.
"Paanong calm down, sira ba utak mo?! " She shouted on the other line. "I've been waiting for you to contact me for about three weeks, and you're expecting me to calm down?!!" Her loud and hideous voice rang right through my ears.
"Yes... " I purposely kept my voice calm and collected, to annoy her more. I chuckled at my silliness when she started ranting about my behavior, she kept talking 'till she got tired and decided to change the topic.
"Ano na, Dyosa ng Kabulaklakan, kamusta na riyan sa Paris?" I can hear the sound of munched cookies on the background, this girl and here never ending love for food.
"It's actually great here, the snow is falling beautifully as it is. Even the flowers at the garden agrees with my statement." My eyes gleamed as I watch the snow flakes fall from the sky.
"Pwede ka namang sumagot ng 'okay lang', 'it's okay lang here', 'gwenchana'... hindi iyong mala-poetry. Alam nang bobo ang kausap, eh. Ito naman..." She complained sounding like a spoiled brat.
"You should at least be thankful that I answered your questions. You know me well, my katoto, I don't answer questions in such a dowdy way. I study to apply and reflect what I have learned in my personal life, unlike those who doesn't tangkilik every single thing that they have learned in every asignatura that they have... parang ikaw... " I mocked her.
I heard how her breathing became intense on the other line, and then her raging voice can be heard...
"Anak ng... sinasabihan ka nga lang eh! " She shouted that it almost shattered my eardrums. "Tapos ano, you're lowkey telling me that I'm 'bobo'!" She yelled more, emphasizing the word 'bobo'.
"Well, if that's what you think, then think what you want to think. Total, ikaw lang naman nagsabi na bobo ka." It may seem to be an insult but it doesn't sound like it, due to my accent, it's like I'm embarrassing myself instead.
"Hindi ko alam kung matatawa ba ako o maiinsulto, grabeng accent yan, tunog expensive. Sa sobrang expensive feeling to hindi ko yan magagawang mag cb, balahura akong tao eh... hindi kaya ng mga katulad ko ang maging expensive kagaya mo!! " The walls of my bedroom turned into a whole image of her ranting breathlessly, the imaginary sight made me chuckle. 'My friend is such an adorable human being..., ' I thought to my self.
"Sana pala... hindi na kita na kilala! Pinapahiya mo ako masyado! Bwisit!"
My cheeks heated from stopping myself from laughing.
"I'm not making pahiya sayo, you're the one that made pahiya to yourself. " My eyes rolled up, I can't believe I'm being a sass in this kind of situation. Her ranting continued 'till she got called by her mother, which is good. It is a sign that I can finally rest after a whole five hours of listening to her pointless complaints.
I started at the ceiling and sighed, I can't help but think of the future ahead of me. I wonder what will happen in the Philippines. My eyelids started to feel heavy, and then I drifted to dreamland.
Morning came and I did my usual routine. I did things that can divert my thoughts the the toxic reality of life, not realizing each hours passing by. Months have passed, and the day has finally come.
"Handa ka na, 'nak? " Nanay Lucille tucked to my hair behind my ears. I smiled at her, indicating that I am ready. I glanced at my sister, I noticed how pissed she looks while staring at us in the corner.
"I can't believe the two of you, we're gonna be late. Stop acting like you guys are mother and daughter, it's such an eyesore." Her hair flew in the air as she stormed to the plane's entrance. I saw nanay shook her head out of disappointment.
"Hindi talaga nagbabago iyang kapatid mo, hayaan mo na anak, basta ikaw magpapakabait ka. " Her calloused hands brushed the side of my cheeks, I smiled at her, slowly, we started walking to the plane. I let out an exhale.
'See you, Philippines... '
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