(Requested over on my Tumblr)
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Amidst the chaos surrounding both Paradis and Marley, Y/N finds herself stuck between a rock and a hard place.
While staying close to her childhood friends Mikasa and Armin, Y/N is forced to come face to face with the man she'd grown to love for the first time in months. His departure had hit her the hardest of them all, but still she kept her chin held high.
Will she be able to rid herself of her feelings for Yaeger before it's too late for her? Or will she succumb to her grief...
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SFW, Angst, Depressive themes, Spoilers for S4
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What had just been a moment of relative relaxation, quickly turned to one of panic.
One minute, you'd watched as Jean and Connie bickered over a bottle of wine in one of the MP's cabinets, while Commander Hange spoke quietly with the Braus family before aiding Jean in cleaning off a 'poisoned' a young Marlian boy, Falco.
But the moment Niccolo lunged for the young Marlian girl, Gabi, shit hit the ceiling. The Braus's adopted daughter lunged for the girl, screaming and crying out obscenities. You watched on helplessly as Niccolo took a swipe at Gabi, having only just learned of the girl's murder back in Marley.
Sasha...poor Sasha. The memory of her death still haunted you every night you slept. To see her murderer, a young girl, standing before you uncharged and free of imprisonment...It hurt. But she was a child, you knew. A poor, brainwashed child.
Before you could even attempt to take action and aid the situation, the door behind you creaked open. Looking over your shoulder, you spotted Floch and his 'followers'; a mix of MPs and what was left of the Scouting Regime soldiers.
By the time Hange and Jean returned to the dining room, you and Onyankopon were already being held at gunpoint.
"What's wrong?" Hange asked in haste when she heard a muffled yelp from Onyankopon, but froze at the scene before them.
"Commander Hange," Floch greeted coolly, ignoring your persistent glare. "I'm glad you're here."
Floch lowered the gun aimed at your head, and turned to Hange. "I imagine you know where Zeke's at...We'll have you take us there."
You were only a second away from opening your mouth to retort his absurd statement, when Armin's startled yelp from the adjacent room made your blood run cold.
"Ere-"
Eren...
Without giving it a second though, you raced to the side of the room towards the doors, paying no mind to the soldiers who held guns to your back. You had to go. You had to see him...
"Let her," Floch's airy tone caught you off guard, making you pause with your hand on the door handle.
"He's expecting her presence too, you know."
The guards lowered their guns from your back, and you took this moment to race through the double doors.
Behind you, you faintly registered a sinister chuckle coming from Floch, but you ignored him in your haste.
You slammed the door behind you quickly, and took a look around the nearly vacant room. And there he stood; just before you at the head of a round table in the very center of the room.
Armin and Mikasa sat with their hands placed palm down on the table cloth, eyes wide and shoulders stiff. Gabi was with them, tense and shaking in utter fear. You visually checked them over for any sign of injury, and when you found none and relaxed. But only slightly. You took your eyes off of your comrades, only for your eyes to suddenly met his.
Eren gave you no sign of emotion as he looked into your eyes from across the room. If anything, he looked bothered. His hair was slightly disheveled, and his clothes worn. But the look of indifference on his face only made his overall appearance look more menacing.
"Y/N, you're here. Please, take a seat." He spoke in a low tone while pulling out the chair he stood behind with gestured for you to take it. Taking a shaky breath, you decided to follow his 'request' and strode forward to accepted the seat.
"Eren-" you began, but he cut you off.
"Hands on the table, and don't remove them." He shoved your chair into place, and swept his gaze across the four of you.
Despite his glare, you thought he looked...Weary. Sad, perhaps.
After a long pause, he broke the silence suffocating the room.
"As I said; I wanted to talk, with you guys."
You remained silent and still in your seat, your fists clenching at the table cloth when you noticed the gash formed across his palm.
A warning to you all.
"Conflict isn't necessary to solve Eldia's problems."
Behind you, a grandfather clock ticked against the wall for every silent second that passed his statement, setting you on edge.
"Eren, we're the ones who wanted to talk." Armin spoke up, his gaze sharp and focused. "What made you attack Marley all on your own? Did Zeke and Yelena really talk you into joining them?"
The question had been nagging at you for some time as well, but for now you remained silent.
"I am free," Eren stated solemnly. "The things I do and choices I make are all decided by my own free will."
"No...No, you are being manipulated!" Mikasa suddenly grit out, leaning over the table and standing up. "You wouldn't have involved the lives of children and innocents, even if they were enemies!"
Eren kept silent, merely listening to her outburst. But before he could respond to Mikasa's allegations, you found it within yourself to finally speak up as well.
"Eren, I know you care about us. More than anyone!"
You stood up from the table, removing your hands from the table to place them onto Eren's broad shoulders.
"Don't you?! The reason you saved Mikasa...Armin...Me...You love u-"
"I said to keep your hands on the table, now do it," Eren cut you off with a harsh glare, switching gazes between you and Mikasa. Mikasa slumped back down into her chair in defeat, clutching at her scarf. But you remained standing, tightening your grip on his shoulders.
"Eren please, why won't you stop this?!" You cried out.
"I said, sit." Eren spat back through clenched teeth, forcibly removing your hands from his shoulders.
A pang of hurt shot through your heart, making your chest feel heavy. Furrowing you're brow, you reluctantly sat and placed your hands back onto the table.
Once you were all sat and silent, Eren continued.
"I spoke with Zeke in Liberio; brother to brother. Zeke knows more about titans than even Marley as a whole."
He paused, turning his attention to Armin.
"Armin, aren't you still visiting Annie? Do you think that's if your own free will?"
Armin froze, his eyes blown wide.
"If memories are what shape people, a part of you is Bertholdt now. Within you is an enemy with feelings for another enemy. Armin, Bertholdt has gotten into your head."
Armin sat in shocked silence, staring blankly back at Eren. You took this moment to make a decision.
For better or for worse, you had to try...
"Then what does throat make me, Eren?"
Eren turned to look at you, raising a brow. He seemed to not have expected you to speak up again so soon, if at all. But curiosity got the better of him, and he gave you room to speak. So you continued.
"You dare accuse Armin for being lost to memories of another, for falling for another that. is the enemy. So what does that make me, huh? Am I now an enemy, too?" You spoke quickly, feeling a need to get it all out.
After all these years...
"What are you talking about, Y/N?" He drawled out. "You have no part in this conversation. You are Eldian and not a shifter. You know what I'm saying doesn't apply to you."
"Oh, but doesn't it? Don't my feelings for you count for anything? You cant call Armin an enemy without accusing me as well!" You cried out, taking a stand once more.
Eren's eyes widened; it seemed he wasn't expecting this. "Y/N...I-"
Mikasa cut him off this time with a yell, not minding his sudden glare on her for interrupting.
"Eren, what could you possibly be sayin-"
"The Ackermans, too." Eren scoffed, now standing as well beside you. "The Ackermans were intentionally designed to protect Eldia's king. Back then, when faced with life and death you heeded my order; Fight."
"No...Protecting you was not a mistake..." Mikasa whispered, fear in her shaky eyes.
"It was because of you I became strong, Eren!"
"No, Mikasa. Your family was made to forget who they are and love only to protect. You are slaves." Eren scowled, his eyes narrowed dangerously. Their conflict gave you a headache, but you knew better than to speak up just yet.
"Eren, enough!" Armin suddenly called out, taking a stand with the rest of you.
"Do you know what I hate more than anyone?Any of you?" Eren continued on, ignoring his friend. "Those who are not free. They're just like livestock."
"Eren!" you yelled, filled with a sudden rage. Rage fueled by grief.
This wasn't the boy you'd grown up with. Fought beside. Come to love so deeply...
Eren snapped his gaze to you, his glare deepening. "Just seeing you has always pissed me off so much, Y/N. And now I finally understand why; I can't stand the sight of a slave who obeys orders without question."
His cold statement made you gasp and stumble back a step. Hurt flooded through you, but you fought off your tears for now.
"You don't mean that..."
"Ever since we were little...I've hated you."
Everything around you became white noise as you stared on in horrified silence, your mouth agape with all the words you wished to say. And yet nothing came of it.
Faintly you registered Armin leaping across the table towards Eren, fists raised and teeth clenched. Words were exchanged, but you heard none of them. Like Gabi, you remained frozen in your spot.
Mikasa lunged forward to stop Armin, only to freeze in fear as she recognized what Ered had said about the Ackermans might just be true. Armin was pinned to the table by Eren's strong grip, shouting over his shoulder to the man above him.
The moment Eren threw Armin across the room, you finally snapped and regained your ability to speak.
"Eren!" you screamed.
Immediately Eren held still, his back to you but his head turned to silently acknowledge your voice.
"Stop this! What have you done?" You shouted. Your voice shook as well as your hands with every word you uttered, but you knew you had to keep going. Or else you'd never get another chance.
Deep down, you knew this is how it had to be.
"You belittle Mikasa...manhandle Armin...hate me...And for what? What is it you truly want from us?"
Eren turned to face you, his emotions hidden behind his cold facade. But he let you speak. Let you say the things you both knew, deep down, you had both longed to say for years.
"You can hate me all you want. You can hate all of us, all you want. But don't you dare for a moment accuse us of anything but loyalty. We love you, Eren. I love you. You know that, I know you do!" You cried out in earnest, tears finally escaping your eyes no matter how hard you fought them.
"I've always loved you. I've tried, time and time again, to show you this. And for everything I've ever done...How could you?"
With that final whisper, you turned your back to him and crossed your arms around your sides. Looking for any form of comfort.
"Y/N...You know I-" Eren started to speak, his tone much softer now. Though you couldn't see it, he was fighting tears himself. But he refused to let anyone notice how he wiped them away.
"No. Just, fucking don't." You stated softly. "Figure out this mess with the war. Do what you must. But please...Please understand us..."
Just then, a couple MP's burst through the door, demanding to know what the noise was about.
"I'm fine," Eren reassured them, his voice hollow. "Go back to Floch. I'll join up soon."
Once they hesitantly left, you finally turned in your heel and gave Eren one last pleading look.
"Figure this out, Eren. Figure this out for us."
With that you turned to leave the room. To leave your companions and to leave your love. But just before you twisted the door handle to rejoin Commander Hange and the others, you looked over your shoulder and made direct eye contact with Eren.
"And just know...Despite everything that happened in the past... Despite what happened here in this room...Just know I still love you. I'm scared that I always will."
With that you left, not seeing the way Eren's emotions finally pushed through his facade and showed on his face. The way he reached out his hand to stop you leaving, despite the physical distance between the two of you.
You never would know, just as he would never forget the way what was left of his heart shattered in his chest that day.