The longest few days passed and although Boss wanted nothing more than to see Noeul, he never once forced him out but only assured him through a single message each day that he was patiently waiting.
When classes resume, Boss unprecedentedly arrives early in school, expecting to see Noeul in his usual spot with that bright smile on his face that rivals the goddamn sun.
But to his disappointment, all the students have already filed in including Peat who came on the dot, not leaving much room for Boss to talk to him before class starts, and Noeul's still nowhere to be seen.
Somehow, Boss expected this. A few days isn't enough to process this situation; even he took a while to get back to normal—and even then, he was never really the same. But deep down, he hoped Noeul would be here and that he'd finally be ready to talk to him.
That isn't the case, unfortunately.
Come lunch time, Boss doesn't even hear the bell, staring out the window into space as though he could see Noeul there. He only snaps back to reality when he hears Fort calling his name. And when his eyes flick up, he finds Peat standing there too.
"We already knew this would happen." Peat chides and yet his eyes look concerned. "Don't get discouraged."
At this, Boss flashes a pursed smile and nods. "I won't." He says with conviction but at the same time, evident fear in his voice. After all, it's not up to him.
"Let's go grab lunch?" Fort suggests at this point to which Boss politely refuses, "You two go ahead. I just need to take a walk."
"You sure you'll be okay?" Fort asks and after expelling a sigh, Boss replies, "Yeah. I'll see you guys later."
Boss doesn't really have a plan in mind. He just knows being in that classroom without Noeul turning in his chair to pester him didn't feel right. It makes him think back to the time he skipped classes to avoid the boy; Noeul must've felt the same way he's feeling now—or even worse.
Noeul didn't deserve that and he didn't deserve to find out about his heart the way that he did. Boss wants to apologize profusely but he also wants to give Noeul the space that he needs. These are the thoughts that fill Boss' head as he walks around campus aimlessly only to find that his feet have taken him to the old school building which surprisingly held fond memories.
This is where he found Noeul that night after Stop and his friends pulled a mean prank on him. Boss remembers running to this place despite "hating" Noeul back then. His heart was pounding because he was scared the boy had frozen to death. But by the end of the night, his racing heart was due to Noeul thanking him and hitting him with those ridiculously mesmerizing doe eyes.
What can he say? He fell in love earlier than he was willing to admit. He was captivated by a boy who was stubborn and feisty but also pure-hearted and sincere—a deadly combo.
Looking at it now, he doesn't know how he ever doubted his feelings for him. He and Ple weren't the same to begin with and the things that drew him to Noeul wasn't his similarities to her but his qualities that were unique to him.
He wished he knew it sooner. He wished he told Noeul the truth when he found out and assured him of his feelings; that way, they could've processed it together. But what's the point of thinking about that now?
He slowly walks away from the building, deciding he wants to visit the other spots in campus where he shared moments with Noeul, whether good or bad. The tree was next, a place that held more memories with Ple than Noeul and yet that fateful day when he saw the boy sitting there stands out.
He still can't believe he almost punched Noeul; he was a different person back then.
The library only reminds Boss of his regrets; hiding from Noeul, hurting his feelings then walking out on him, knowing full well Noeul was confused and crying. Asshole, Boss curses at himself.
He revisits that area in between the two school buildings where Noeul had played in the rain and Boss recognized for the first time that his feelings for the boy had indeed changed from hating him (and for no good reason at that) then tolerating him to genuinely enjoying and seeking his company.
Boss knew he had it bad then and for sometime, that feeling overwhelmed him and his guilt towards Ple wouldn't let him move forward.
All that changed though when Noeul collapsed and Boss realized life is fragile and short and that denying his feelings won't erase his past mistake but possibly add to it.
Before he realizes it, he's down to the last place in and around campus where he and Noeul made quite an impression, yelling at each other just outside the cafe.
"Then stop coming to school! You don't come to class anyway!" Noeul exclaimed like a triggered chihuahua. And at this, Boss clapped back by saying, "Is that what you want? If that's the case, then I'll come to class. Every. Fucking. Day."
Best decision he ever made, now that he thinks of it.
He smiles to himself; it's the first time in a while. But it's bittersweet.
He has to remind himself to return to class even though he doesn't really feel like it. He won't run away again and he wants to be there if Noeul ever decides to show up.
And just then, he flicks his eyes up and meets those brown orbs that he often sees in his sleep lately. With only a glass door panel separating them, Boss and Noeul look at each other with a hint of surprise, a touch of awkwardness but also a deep yearning.
Both seem frozen in time but when someone comes up behind Noeul to leave the cafe, he gets snapped awake from his daze and he finally pushes the door open, letting the elder woman out first before finally making his way to, "Chaikamon."
Boss hasn't heard that in a while; he missed it so much.
"Eul..." Boss catches his vision blurring with tears for a second and quickly averts his face and blinks back the waterworks. He then clears his throat and turns back to the boy. "You're here."
"Mm." Noeul hums, eyes on the drink in his hands—it's a Freddo.
"No sugar with milk cubes." Boss says in a quiet and fond voice to which Noeul smiles shyly and nods. He briefly chews on his lower lip—Boss missed that habit of his too—then says sheepishly, "I, uh, wanted to check if I really like this drink."
That makes sense, Boss thinks to himself. And he smiles softly to assure Noeul he gets it but that does nothing for the growing anxiety in his chest. Noeul checking to see how he really feels about things; Boss knows that goes beyond just coffee.
And only after discreetly taking a deep breath does Boss ask, "Do you...like it?" It sounds dumb but he knows Noeul understands the meaning behind it. And the way his eyes snap up to Boss and he stares at him without saying anything with his lips parted proves it.
Boss starts feeling nervous, not that he didn't already. Meanwhile, Noeul fiddles with his fingers momentarily before finally replying in a small voice, "I really do."
Boss knows his relief is probably evident on his face and he lets go of the breath he'd been holding.
"I meant to come sooner." Noeul adds. "But...I needed to make sure of some things first, you know?"
Boss nods, his eyes glassing over. On one hand, he feels overjoyed. He knows now that this isn't some coincidence and that Noeul came with the intention of meeting him. But he also knows there's still something holding Noeul back, keeping him from closing their distance completely.
Perhaps because this is where Boss has to meet him halfway, has to give him something concrete.
Without much thought and with a sense of urgency, Boss takes Noeul's hand and asks, "Noeul, will you come with me somewhere...please?"
"N-now?" Noeul manages to ask despite his racing pulse at Boss' mere touch.
"Yes...if it's okay with you."
It wasn't part of Noeul's plan to get whisked away by Boss on their first meeting after a while. But with those typically fierce eyes practically pleading, how could he say no?
~~~
They ride Boss' bike and travel quite a distance. By the time they arrive, it was well into the afternoon with the sun low in the sky and the air rather chilly from the afternoon drizzle.
Noeul takes in his surroundings, quiet with plenty of trees and far from any commercial or residential area. "Where are we?" He asks as he gets off and Boss does too shortly after.
The taller male pauses as he gathers his thoughts and steels his resolve. Then finally, he replies, "I want you to meet someone."
Here? Noeul wonders who he could possibly meet at a place like this and he starts looking around for another person. But what he sees is not a living human but a single headstone in the middle of the vast greenery.
And before he could even be sure, Noeul already gets a feeling of who it might be. His eyes flick over to Boss, the look in them almost scared or shy. But Boss flashes a warm smile and holds out his hand as if telling the boy not to worry.
Noeul takes Boss' hand albeit hesitantly and feels instant relief once their fingers are laced together. He's still nervous, especially as they make their way to her. And once they arrive and Noeul reads the name carved out on the headstone, he confirms that this is indeed Ple's burial site.
Funny, before discovering who his heart donor is, he had always wanted to meet them, to say his thanks and to promise to care for their heart in return. But after all that's happened and now that he's actually here, he's getting cold feet and doesn't know what to say.
But it's Boss who pipes up at this time, "Ple..." He utters her name softly. "Remember the person I was telling you about? ...This is him."
Noeul feels quite confused upon hearing this and he then asks, "You told her about me?"
At this, Boss turns to face him and says, "Mm, I did." He then takes both of Noeul's hands and tells him while looking into his eyes, "I know what you're worried about, Eul. To be honest, I questioned it too—my feelings. And here's the truth..."
Noeul swallows thickly, trying but failing to prepare himself for the worst. He knows that if Boss remains unsure of his feelings, as much as he wants them to, they can't be together.
Because while Noeul is questioning many things about himself, his feelings for Boss isn't one of them. But he needs to know Boss feels the same way.
"Remember when you collapsed?" Boss asks him then to which Noeul, albeit not knowing what that has to do with anything, nods.
"I didn't know you had Ple's heart back then." Boss continues, briefly glancing at the grave beside them. This place is by no means ideal for a heart to heart talk but it's crucial for both of them—all three of them, in fact—to be here.
"I didn't even know you had a transplant before that." Boss adds to which Noeul can't help but ask, "Why are you telling me this?"
And to that, Boss comes clean. "Because I came here that day...after I heard you were already stable. I came here."
Noeul's eyes dart left and right, not any less confused than earlier. "But I thought you said you didn't know yet."
"I didn't." Boss confirms. "I came here because..."
~~~
Boss speeds through the highway as the afternoon sky turns a darker shade of orange with streaks of deep purple. Earlier, he came back and heard the doctor telling Peat and, apparently, Noeul's mom that the boy is no longer in danger after which Boss decided to go somewhere.
He just really needs to talk to this person right now.
He arrives on location, holding flowers he bought along the way. His footsteps are heavy as he pads across the trimmed grass, his helmet hair somewhat a mess with pieces framing his face.
It's dark now and he can hardly make out the engraved writings on the granite headstone. But he knows for a fact he's in the right place; he never once forgot exactly where Ple is buried.
Boss pulls out his gloves, keeping them in his back pocket. Then he crouches down by a lot given his height but contrary to his intimidating appearance, his touch is tender as he runs a hand over the headstone's surface, feeling Ple beneath his fingertips.
"Hi, Ple." He utters quietly as if not wanting to startle her. "It's Boss." Tears suddenly start streaming from his eyes and he hasn't even said much. This is way harder than he thought.
He sits on the grass, arms propped on his knees and his head hanging low in between. He just cries like that for sometime, letting himself properly grieve for once.
Then, once he finds the strength, he tells her what he failed to say the last time they talked, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Ple." He chuckles scornfully at himself and muses, "It's not even that hard to say it...but I just wasn't man enough back then to own up to my mistakes, to admit that I neglected you.
"But I hope you know that I loved you. I really really loved you, Ple. I'm sorry that I didn't show it well. And...I'm sorry that I wasn't there to hold you in your last moments."
He throws his head back, staring at the sky. He wants to believe that she's somewhere up there and that she's watching him right now.
"I know I'm being quite brazen for showing my face here. But there's something that I want to tell you, that you deserve to hear straight from me. There's someone I...I like." He pauses, needing time to process it after saying it out loud. "He's actually quite sick. But if it's okay with you, I want to do for him what I couldn't for you. I want to be by his side til the very end."
Boss brings his hand up to trace her name and closes his eyes as he asks her, "Can I, Ple? Is it okay if I move on now...and give my heart to someone else?"
It's a long overdue hello and goodbye and neither is easy. But after doing this, Boss feels as though a weight has been lifted off his chest. And there's no way to really explain it but he feels in his heart that Ple has been waiting too so they can end things on a good note and finally let each other go.
~~~
"I came here because...I wanted her to be the first to know that I've fallen for someone." Boss cups Noeul's cheek and swipes a tear with his thumb as he tells him, "And that someone is you, Noeul. It's always been you."
The boy's tears can't seem to stop falling now and he brings up a hand over Boss', nuzzling into his palm.
All this time, that was all Boss needed to say and all Noeul needed to hear. Everything else doesn't matter as long as they both know that they truly love each other.
Just then, Noeul glances at Ple's headstone, thinking how mysterious the heavens work. They're two different people and yet, they're connected. Noeul brings a hand to his chest at this point and tells Boss, "I think I can trust her heart, that she won't shroud my true feelings but only amplify them."
"It's yours now." Boss whispers. "I know she would've wanted someone like you to receive it."
But at his remark, Noeul softly shakes his head and turns to Boss with a smile, "It's ours."
Boss gets somewhat emotional upon hearing that. But he stifles his tears and flashes a genuine smile, gently pulling Noeul in for a hug and planting a kiss on top of his head.
They see it now; they were looking at it the wrong way this whole time. They thought Ple's presence in their relationship was a threat, something that sowed seeds of doubt. But as it turns out, it's a blessing. Because had it not been for Ple's heart, Noeul wouldn't be alive today and he wouldn't have met Boss and pulled him out of that dark place just in time.
It was fate.
~~~
A few weeks later...
Noeul has his arms crossed, not looking at Boss even though the way the racing suit fits the taller male's physique is tempting to gawk at.
Boss comes up to him, making a pitiful face as he appeals, "Are you really not gonna talk to me?"
Noeul pushes his pursed lips out more in a deeper frown and mutters, "I can't believe you agreed to a race without even telling me. You sprung this on me just today and you expect me not to be mad anymore? Unbelievable."
Boss bites his lower lip guiltily then wraps his strong arms around Noeul's waist and speaks in a soft voice which he knows perfectly well that Noeul is weak for, "I'm sorry, Eul. I knew you'd be against it."
"So you knew but still went ahead." Noeul grumbles to which Boss pulls him even closer and tells him, "Because I have to do this, for myself—and for us. I promise that I won't worry you again after this so...please don't be mad at me anymore.
"I need my number one fan to cheer me on." Boss pleads.
Finally, Noeul meets his eyes and his gaze is much softer albeit still simmering. He twists his mouth thoughtfully, then finally pipes up, "Fine but you better not get hurt. Your priority should be your safety; winning is just a bonus. Are we clear?"
"Mm." Boss nods, smiling brightly.
"But then again, winning wouldn't be so bad either." Noeul remarks then leans closer to whisper in Boss' ear, "If you win, I'll give you a reward."
Oh, it's on. Boss cracks his neck left and right and tells Noeul then, "I'll definitely win."
They burst into laughter, briefly forgetting their nerves. But when P'Aon comes in to tell Boss it's time, Noeul looks at him with evident worry in his eyes, yet he pumps a fist and cheers, "You got this, Chaikamon."
Boss then plants a kiss on his forehead before turning on his heel, only looking over his shoulder to tell his lover, "I'll see you at the finish line."
And of course, he'll be expecting that reward.
Boss arrives at the starting point where Stop is already waiting. Their respective bikes are set and all that's left is for them to get on and race. Noeul, Peat, Fort and the others settle down behind the wire fence to watch just as the two are exchanging a few words.
"Don't forget what P'Chai said." Stop scoffs. "Winner takes all. If I win, regardless of your status with Noeul, I'm gonna shoot my shot. And you'll leave P'Chai's team because losing today only proves you're not cut out for the big leagues."
Boss shakes his head, thinking this guy never changes. But somehow, he doesn't hate him nearly as much. "Fair enough." He remarks but goes on to say, "But just so you know, I love Noeul. And that's why I won't lose."
Stop nods, pulling on his helmet. Boss does the same. And after the cue, the two racers speed through the course, passing like streaks of light with strong winds on their tails.
The spectators hold their breaths as the two interchangeably overtake each other and the sharp turns are enough for Noeul to nearly get a heart attack but, of course, he steadies himself for both his and Boss' sakes.
Just as the two racing bikes are about to come around, full circle towards the finish line, Noeul and the others move closer to the tracks to witness the outcome up-close and leave no room for doubt.
And as promised, Boss' bike passes through the finish line ahead of Stop's by a slim but discernible margin. And the moment Boss climbs down and takes off his helmet, Noeul runs towards him and is in his arms in no time.
Boss spins him around once without much effort and when he puts him down, Noeul beams up at him and chirps, "You did it!"
"What did I say?" Boss gloats a little; Noeul lets him since he earned it. And he earned something else too. Boss pretends to frown and asks then, "Where's my reward?"
And Noeul flashes a somewhat coy smile before standing on his tippy toes and reaching for Boss' lips with his own, the taller male easily meeting him halfway and kissing him deeply—completely ignoring all the eyes on them.
Peat watches them with his brows furrowed and mutters fondly, "They're shameless."
At this, Fort teases, "Wanna kiss too?"
Peat feigns annoyance, rolling his eyes, only to say with a mischievous smirk, "Later."
"You're all annoying." Stop shakes his head at them but with an unprecedented smile on his face.
After they finally pull their lips apart, both smiling unabashed, Noeul asks Boss then, "Now, what?"
Boss pretends to think, musing, "Well, I just got a place that's big enough for two and a certain someone promised to move in with me so..." He looks down at Noeul with the most loving gaze and tells him, "Let's go home, Eul."
THE END
~~~
Author's note:
Well, here we are again. Saying goodbye to another BossNoeul/PhayuRain fanfic. 😭😭😭
Let me tell you, I went through an emotional roller coaster while making this. At one point, I wanted to give up because I felt like the pieces weren't coming together as I had intended. But thanks to your support and encouragement, I soldiered on. And I can confidently say, I'm proud of the outcome. It may not be the best, but it's the best I can do. And anytime that you give your all, then you've got nothing to regret.
Again, thank you! I'm not exaggerating when I say you guys are the driving force behind my works; a writer needs their readers to stay motivated after all. And you guys always deliver. Thank you from the bottom of my Bonoh heart.
To all Bonoh's and Babyfeats and LITA fans in general, thank you and see you again in another fic soon? 😁
P. S. If it isn't too much to ask, check out my published work. It's called Heart Above Water by Perrydot which has a dedication to BossNoeul on the physical copy but you can also read the free preview on google reads. Thanks in advance.
XOXO
P'Perry