Being back at school twisted with her mind, she didn't have her savouries there for her, Theo and Damon no longer there made Nora not want to go anymore, sulking in her seat as half of the Slytherins bothered not to come anymore, eyes all over them at the welcome dinner.
From first to fourth year, there were barley any students, and those who were there, acted as if they had important business to attend to. Nora rested her hand in her palm as she watched absolutely nobody go into slytherin by the hat, creating a wrench between her and the other houses.
Nora felt all the stares on her, how could she not when they all sat right in the middle, ignoring the stares and mutters. She couldn't even look at the Gryffindor table, Sirius still mad over their fight, which Nora sort of forgot about until she saw his face.
Then there was Dumbledore, her heart practically skipped a beat seeing him, ignoring eye contact at any means necessary; until his speech hit her a little too close to home.
"Hogwarts, will always be here for those who need it, any one of you can be going through something, but you don't have to be alone." Nora had immediately looked at Atticus, telling him this was practically a message for her, causing Nora to eat in a frantic manner.
Here Nora black was, in her last year full of fear, her one brother hating her at the moment, a task she won't fulfill, and lying to the boy she's ever truly been honest to, until she couldn't anymore. Nothing made sense, and nothing will.
Sitting in defence of the dark arts didn't help her either, the lessons with Bella made her realize she will never be cut out to use the crucio spell on someone else, because she only sees herself.
Staring at the board and trying to focus, she was struggling, which was odd for her, shaking off the voices in her head, sighing. "Nora, your leg is shaking too much." Atticus whispered, trying to make it count it out, the table shaking a little.
Looking underneath and holding her leg practically done, Nora avoided his concerned eyes, shaking it off. "If this is about Dumbledore.." Atticus trailed off; Nora gulped, trying her hardest to pay attention. "It's, it's nothing I can't handle." Nora told, her eyes shifting to Lily Evans, knowing she and James were also sharing a whole dorm suit, two bedrooms but a kitchen and couches.
Nora hadn't had the courage to say hi to James, feeling a little guilty, also knowing how patient he has become towards her; it just didn't feel right lagging on him anymore.
Atticus seemed to notice her sadness, looking down at her book as james looked back to see her, frowning a little. "Oi, you haven't talked to him?" Nora heard Atticus whisper, looking up from her book, pressing her lips together.
"Doesn't something feel off? Every where I look everyone is staring at me and regulus, it's like they know." She hissed, tuning out their professor. "But on the train you went out for a little bit. That wasn't to see him?"
"I was throwing up because of how much I don't want to be here Atticus. This conversation isn't helping me." Nora hissed a little too loud, their professor clearing their throats.
"Detention both of you." Throwing her hands in the air and punching Atticus' shoulder; rolling her eyes when they were finally dismissed. Putting her books away and getting off her seat, Nora sneered when she saw Sirius come her way, insisting she grab her wand.
"Maybe detention will teach you to not lie to your brother." He told her, thinking that hurt her, a little scared when she laughed, clapping her hands. "Oh, that stung, good job Sirius." She sarcastically said, cheering him on for a second before she left, annoyed more than ever.
"No you can't leave." Sirius told her, catching up the girl to yell at her more, Nora crossing her arms unamused. "Are you done? I have class." She told him, shaking her head at his immaturity.
"Aren't you going to apologize? Their plan failed and they manipulated you to manipulate me." Sirius told her, not understanding the situation still.
"Have you learned nothing? What I said at the potters was true. They don't care about you Sirius, they are done with you, don't say I'm the same because I'm the only true sibling you have in your fantasy land." Nora snapped, keeping her voice tame and calm, holding back the yelling she wanted to do towards him.
Sirius scoffed, afraid to speak when he saw the look in Nora's eyes; anger and nothing else. There were many eyes for Nora end Sirius to have this conversation, but as the days went by of him acting as if everything was about him, Nora was losing patience, and she's never felt like that before.
"He may have been a shit father, but he's still dying, you don't have to care, but just don't make it about yourself anymore." Nora told him, shaking her head in disappointment, excusing herself as she caught up to Atticus, shaking her head.
"Don't you think you were a little harsh?" Atticus asked, holding off to not cause more trouble. "He's been a dick my whole life, it's time I become one too. It's one thing to say he doesn't care, but it's another to make some weird assumptions that everything we do is about him. Mother rather die than speak about Sirius."
Sighing as they made their way to history of magic, Nora just wished she told Sirius what she said after this class, not realizing they also have it, sitting near the front to ignore any stares.
Atticus chose to not say anything, hanging back a little and tie his shoe, waiting for Sirius to come, standing up as Peter smiled at him. "Sirius I—"
"What could you possibly say that will make this situation better? You're her best friend so why are you talking to me. That's like James talking to her." Clearing his throat abs shaking his head, Atticus sighed, trying to find the right words to say this, hoping he doesn't word vomit.
"Nora doesn't have the friends you do, her only friend is me, and even then I'm not enough for her. She doesn't know what being loved is, fuck, I don't know what love is. But I've seen the way she's always there for you and regulus, but now it's time you be there for her. You're her twin for Merlin's sake, now act like it."
Hesitating to poke his finger in Sirius' chest, it felt like Sirius and Nora both have people fill in the position of a sibling, for sirius, it's James, and for Nora; it's Atticus. No matter how much they want to fix their relationship, Sirius began to fear it's deeper than he ever imagined, taking a moment to realize.
Nora listened to Atticus' advice for all of ten minutes, sitting at the top of the astronomy tower and looking down, letting the cold air hit her cheeks, needing it to knock some sense into her. She hates this feeling, mad all the time, looking over her shoulder, picking the battles she chooses; it was exhausting.
She doesn't know what to do with herself, feeling like she was a record stuck on repeat with these emotions, being controlled as if you were a puppet. Her heartbeat was always going 100 miles per minute, never having a moment to slow down.
Being back at Hogwarts seemed harder than it should've been, this past summer wasn't her favourite and she wouldn't deny it, needing a minute to focus on the fact she has a task to fulfill and she doesn't even know how to start. She looked down from the astronomy tower, gulping a little as she continue to let the fresh breeze hit her, needing some time to think.
Hearing something creak, Nora turned to see Lily Evans, grimacing when she saw someone, awkwardly laughing. "Oh, sorry Nora, I can come back." She stammered, Nora waving it off.
"No it's fine Evans, there's room for two." She told the girl, moving over for them to watch the sun set into the clouds, watching the red soon turn into orange over the sky. "How was your summer?" Evans asked, trying to create conversation.
"Was shit, how was yours?"
"Yeah same, I'm assuming you and Sirius are still not talking to one another?" The red head guessed, answering correctly. "You heard about our conversation in the corridors, I'm assuming." Nora joked back, hearing the girl giggle a little.
"Yeah it sounded similar to my conversation with my sister Petunia—"
"You have a sister? This whole time I thought were an only child." Nora cut off Evans, apologizing as she let the girl speak, needing to get her mind off her own problems. "She still thinks me being a witch is weird. Growing up she and I never got along. I was always the weird sister, my parents understood just fine, but she didn't."
Nora felt like she's heard this story, letting the red head talk more, continuing to listen. "Anyways, this summer was probably our worst. I've never seen us argue so much to the point where she left the house. She has a boyfriend, she couldn't bare to look at my face so she left to his house for the night."
Not expecting to hear the ending, Nora knew first hand what that was like, looking down in grief. "Sirius left in the middle of the night. An argument with my parents was his last straw. He was always going to leave, I just didn't know if was going to be so soon." Said Nora, covering her hands in her sleeves, becoming so vulnerable.
"I guess we have something in common, our siblings leaving to not deal with us anymore." Evans told her, scoffing a laugh from Nora, not believing she said that. It didn't feel strange being with Evans as it should've, laughing with one another over their pain seemed normal; even if it shouldn't have been.
Nora didn't want to ruin it, her laughter slowly fading when she realized Evans was apart of a muggle family, immediate panic settling in and not wanting to change the topic, trying to calm down. "It's strange, all these years I assumed you hated me because of who I am, even if Sirius is your brother."
"I've never been like that Evans, i think it's a waste to judge one's blood status, half of slytherin doesn't care, it's the parents that do." The brunette explained, turning to look at Evans for a second, trying to sound genuine.
"I, appreciate that. You're definitely one of the hood ones Nora black." Evans smiled, both looking away. "Hey, but your family is being safe right? Just with this war and everything, it just seems to be getting worse.
Evans looked at Nora, her smile going away to see Nora be worried, nodding her head. "We moved to my aunts, in case something would happen. Just two blocks down from us, those death eaters destroyed a home and killed the woman. It's awful out there."
"Yeah..." Nora trailed off, sighing of relief to herself, wanting evans and any other muggle born to be safe in this god awful war.
"We should talk more Nora, I don't know why we haven't before." Evans told her, being genuine. Nora, however was cut off guard, stammering a little and was shocked to that suggestion, looking up at her.
"Really?" Nora asked, sounding too hopeful. "Yeah! It would be fun." Watching Evans reach her hand out, Nora thought if was a little weird she was going to shake her hand, doing so anyways. "I better go now though, have head girl duties. I'll see you around the library?"
"Yeah." Nora smiled, watching the girl be way too excited, walking away with a bright smile on her face. Hearing her footsteps go down the stairs, Nora put her hands on her face sighing and wanting to smash her head into the pole.
The urge yell bloody murder would've suspected too many assumptions about Nora and her mental state, holding in every inch of anger. Nora didn't deserve to be a friend of Lily Evans, after everything Severus has done to her, Nora shouldn't be the next friend, realizing she messed up and cannot fix it.
"Merlin, please help me, just this once." Nora asked, looking up at the ceiling, hoping it did something. Yet it didn't, stuck on the astronomy tower with too much guilt in her head.
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Oh Nora, she's gonna have a rough year that's for sure hehehe