Harry: Ugh, it's the morning...*Opens wardrobe and moths fly out* AHHHHHH! RON!
Ron: Yes? What is it?
Harry: YOU'RE AN IDIOT!
Ron: I'M SURE YOU'RE RIGHT BUT WHY?
Harry: WHAT ARE THESE MOTHS DOING IN MY WARDROBE?
Ron: I thought they were butterflies!
Harry: NO THEY ARE NOT! HOW DARE YOU! I AM FED UP WITH ALL YOUR NONSENSE, BUTLER WEASLEY!
Ron: I'M FED UP OF YOU TOO!
Harry: *Gasps* HOW DARE YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO I THE GREAT HARRY POTTER!
Ron: I DARED! I'M FED UP OF YOU THINKING YOU'RE SO ATTRACTIVE!
Harry: I AM ATTRACTIVE!
Ron: I CAN PROVE YOU'RE NOT! HEY EVERYONE! BREATH IF YOU FIND HARRY ATTRACTIVE!
*Entire human race dies from lack of oxygen*
Ron: Point proved! I'm out of here! *Leaves*
Harry: ...well that escalated quickly
*At the Malfoy mannor*
Bellatrix: *Sneaks up behind Voldemort* HEY, VOLDIE!
Voldemort: AHHH! WITCH!
Bellatrix: How ironic! *Giggles* Are you Tim Burton? Because I can feel you shipping me with your best friend!
Voldemort: That is the worst pick up line I have ever heard in my two existences. I refer to them as my pre-nose and no-nose existences.
Ron: VOLDEMORT!
Voldemort: YES, WON WON?
Ron: Harry was mean to me, can you go and beat him up?
Voldemort: 'Fraid not my ginger companion, it is Friday and one does not simply kill Harry Potter on Friday because we get down on that day!
Ron: I thought one does not simply walk into Mordor?
Voldemort: Wrong fandom, my dear
Ron: Oh yeah...
Bellatrix: But he kind of looks like Samwise Gamgee...shall we send him on a quest?
Voldemort: WE SHALL! AND HE SHALL TAKE THE RING TO MORDOR!
Ron: But I might eat the ring on the way there!
Voldemort: Good point...shall we go and sort out Harry?
*Back at Hogwarts*
Harry: RON! PASS ME MY — Oh, he's not here. I guess I'll have to get it myself...
Voldemort: Hey! Don't strain yourself! We've got Ron back!
Harry: Y-You have?
Voldemort: We have! And you better treat him nicer now otherwise we'll call up the abuse to Ron's agency
Harry: Huh, didn't know that existed...
Voldemort: YOU DO NOW
Ron: No fighting please! Can we just follow the butterflies?
Harry: YES
Voldemort: I BECAME A BUTTERFLY *Skips off*