Shivaay pov
Next morning after having breakfast I came office there is important meeting that I can't leave. And Ishaan also have exam so he has gone to school. I told Gauri and Om about my decision they both are happy. Om will drop Ishaan in office then we both will leave. Mom dad still doesn't know Anika is in Mumbai. I will tell both of them after talking with her.
We reached Hospital in half n hour. Manav already left because he had night shift.
We make our way inside to find Rudra coming out from room.
"Rudra chachu" Ishaan yelled. Rudra is clearly shocked to see both of us.
" Ishaan " Rudra take him in his arms and hugged him.
" Balii maa chachu "
" Your badii maa is inside. "
" Rudra what doctor said "
" They will discharge her in evening. Apart from that she is fine. You guys meet her. I am going to get some medicines."
I open the door of room and Ishaan run inside in jiffy. God this boy don't have any patience.
" Jiju thanks " Rudra said hugging me.
Before I say anything he left from there. I take deep breathe and come inside to find Anika sitting in chair near the window and Ishaan on her lap hugging her tightly. They both didn't notice me.
" Balii maa is it hurting " He asked softly while touching her forehead with his fingers looking at her.
" No " She shakes her head negatively.
" I missed you. You didn't called me "
"I also missed Ishaan so much. Will Ishaan forgive me. "
"Only when you scold bale papa. He shouted and scolded me " Start with all his complains and then telling her everything what he had done in few months. They both were talking and smiling forgetting about everything around them.
" You came alone Ishaan "
" No balii maa "
He look around the room then notice me standing near the door he smiled.
" Balee papa " then she looked at me surprised as she not at all expecting me here.
" Bale papa brought me here " She blinked her eyes several times and looked back at Ishaan.
" When you will come home balii maa. I want to play with you. "
" Ishaan I.... "She looked away from him.
" Balii maa I will not trouble you. Bale papa tell her. I am good boy."
She hugged him caressing his head while Ishaan is clutching her tightly.
"I know my Ishaan is good boy. He will never trouble me. I missed you a lot Ishaan. "
" You will come to my birthday right balii maa. I will cut cake with you. "
" Ishaan "
"She will come Ishaan. But for that she have to take rest so now let her rest. "
" Bale papa "
" It's already an hour Ishaan. You can meet her again. Now say goodbye. "
" Goodbye balii maa. " He said kissing her cheek.
I take him in my arms. I made my way outside the room. Rudra is sitting there.
"Rudra can you drop Ishaan at home. Take my car and have dinner at home. I am here with her. "
" Sure jiju "
" Ishaan go home with chachu and don't trouble him. "
He nodded at me but his expression are mischievous. After they left I came inside saw her standing near the window looking outside lost in her thoughts. I locked the door. I walked and stand beside her looking outside.
" You thought I left. "
"No you wouldn't have come if you had to leave."
"So you also know why I am here "
She didn't said anything.
" When I say I meant it Anika you are coming in Ishaan birthday. "
" I don't know how come you have forgiven me. But Shivaay I can't. "
I take her hand in mine made her look at me. It really painful to look at her broken self. This girl say she is strong indeed she is. She gone through everything alone. She sacrificed everything for me. And I am not letting her pain, sacrifice in vain.
" I told you to be strong Anika. But that doesn't mean you have to hurt yourself. To sacrifice your own happiness. What a mess you have made yourself.
Do you seriously like to scare me. Yesterday also you fainted. That's why I was saying you to take care of yourself. But no I already taken everybody class.
I was angry at you. I was hurt. But that doesn't mean I am not forgiving you. You made mistake because you are stupid. But I am not stupid to made that same mistake again. Not going to happen.
Keep this straight in your mind my happiness is you. If you want me to happy you have to keep yourself happy.
People can't live if there heart stop functioning. So how can I function properly.As I said you are not only part of my life you are my life Anika. And will always be. Till my last breathe.
This is the last time I am forgiving you. Because I am selfish.Don't you dare to ever pull any of this stunt. Get it."
" Shivaay " She whispered.
Before she can say anything there is knock on door. I open to find nurse. She came for her checkup and give her injection. She is still under heavy medication which cause her to be sleepy most of the time. She slept within few minutes . Then mom called me she got to know Anika is here in Mumbai through Khanna . She scolded me for not telling her before.
Great this Khanna is of no use can't do even a small thing properly.
Later mom and dad both came to meet her.Mom scolded me some more. I told Anika not to say anything to her. It's all past whatever happened why to spoil future. Me and Anika didn't get chance to talk after that.
I made arrangements for her and Rudra in our penthouse. We are going to celebrate Ishaan birthday here only on Saturday.
I didn't take her to OM. I want to give her welcome that she deserves and make memorable so she can cherish those memories life long.
Soon we reached there. Rudra directly came there with Om. I showed them their room. Mom already send Anika dinner.Making sure Anika take her medicines.I insist to be here in night in case they need anything. They both denied.
"You guys have rest.House helper will come tomorrow. If you need anything call me."
We came outside finally it's feel like a huge burden lift from my shoulder.
But still there is something missing I can feel that.
" What are you thinking Shivaay? "
" Nothing. When priyanka is coming?"
" Tomorrow afternoon. I am thinking about the theme of Ishaan birthday did you have anything in mind. "
" No I still have to buy his gift. "
" Man you are seriously spoiling him "
" I am not Om. It's his birthday. "
We came home. Mom, dad and gauri are waiting for us to join Dinner.
Today Mom is so happy she didn't stop beaming. They didn't know everything and I choose not to tell them asked the same from others.
" Shivaay did Anika had her Dinner and medicines?? "
" Yes mom. "
" Me and gauri will go there in morning. "
After that everybody retired to their room. I called Rudra to check upon Anika but she already slept. High doses of Medicines making her sleepy half of the day.
Next two days passed in jiffy. It's saturday and Ishaan is literally jumping from yesterday. Priyanka and Ranveer also came. Mom is staying their only. Priyanka and gauri, Ishaan spend most of their time with Anika.
Aunty and uncle wanted to come but there is no need for them as everyone is here and they also need break so I told them to relax there.
I also go there but I didn't get much time with her. Our conversation didn't completed yet. I try not to bring any topic that cause her any stress.
Gauri and Anika planned Ishaan birthday party. That way Anika mind diverted in other things she need happy environment to recover fast.
But I have to talk with her. She is going back Delhi on Sunday. In no way I am letting her go without having a conversation.
It's Ishaan birthday today. Everyone is ready as mom kept pooja and in evening party. And not even ask about Ishaan. He is jumping around in excitement from two days.
" Ishaan call your father. Pandit jii is here." I told him to hold his horses.
Soon everyone came Om, Gauri and Ishaan performing the pooja. Anika is sitting with priyanka and mom.After pooja I am taking her with me. Manav is sitting with me.
After pooja I take seat beside her as pandit jii call everyone one by one to tie threads on wrist. Looking at her brings back the memories of us in temple performing the pooja. Similarly she is sitting with dupatta on her head.
"Anika "
She looked at me.
" I want you to come with me after pooja. "
" Where ?"
" Will tell you. "
" Anika shivaay come " Mom called both of us.
We both go where pandit is sitting. Everyone left already towards dining room.
" Pandit jii here are the two I am talking about you tell us the dates."
" Which dates mom?? "
" Your wedding dates Shivaay. "
Anika flinched beside me. Her body become stiff. She even clutch my kurta sleeve. I looked towards her. She is looking at mom.
"Anika I already talked with yours parents they don't have any problem. So you two both decide date let me know till evening. "
"Come here both of you. " He tied thread on our wrist. After telling us four dates . Mom and he busy themselves in further discussion.
I didn't have any idea Mom already had talked with pandit ji.
"Anika come. " I take her hand with me which are cold.
" Shivaay " She try to take her hand I tighten the hold.
"We have some unfinished conversations to finish."
I made her sit on passenger seat. I started the car. She didn't say anything.
It's been two days I am observing her. She is physically present not mentally.
Never once I saw her laughing like before. She smile but the spark in her eyes were lost. She stay silent most of time. Many times zone out. She needs to let out what she is bottling up.
Rudra told me back at Delhi she used to spent most of the time in her room. Don't talk to anyone. As if she made isolation as her friend. I discussed with Manav he told me to talk with her to know the reason behind this. He told maybe these can be symptoms of depression. Which is possible in many cases after big surgeries.
After reaching the penthouse I take her to my floor. I brought this penthouse in her name. Two months after our marriage is fixed. I wanted to have our own so we can spend some time alone.
Outside the door. I give her keys.
" Open it "
She opened the door. Entering she looked around to find few furniture covered with white clothes and white walls nothing else. I want her to design this house. She wanted to become interior designer why not start with our own.
"Whose this and why are we here. "
" It's ours "
"Shivaay no " She shakes her head taking steps back. I try to hold her hand but she keep her hand away taking back steps.
" What no Anika?? "
" I.. I need fre... fresh air. " Looking around taking deep breaths.
"Anika what is happening. " I held her both hands in mine. Taking her in balcony. She lean on the railings.
"Anika I am here calm down take deep breaths. I will bring water. "
I try to go she held my hand in hers. Still shaking her head in no.
" Shivaay "
" Say I am here I am listening. "
"Shivaay you don't have to do this. I told you I only need your forgiveness nothing else. Trust me Shivaay I didn't say anything to pinky aunty or my parents Shivaay. Please trust me. "
" Hey Anika .. "
" No Shivaay I can't do wrong this time. I already did."
"I saw myself Anika something is bothering you Anika. I am here I am with you. Let me in Anika. It's feel like you are someone else. You are not Anika I know. " I cup her face with my palm. She looked at me her eye's were showing sheer vulnerability.
"Yes you are right Shivaay because I am not that Anika anymore. How you will find someone when she is dead. Because I myself unable to find her. I lost myself long back Shivaay. "
"No she is not. She is here in front me. What if she is lost we both will found her back. Trust me we will together.
Don't bottle up your feelings. Let it out whatever it is Anika. I know it's tough for you. It's okay if you are not okay. You are not alone. I am here with you Anika ."
She again take a step back trying hard to control herself.
"I am scared. I am exhausted Shivaay. I am unable to endure this pain. I can't do it anymore.I called you that day Shivaay when I came from hospital with my reports.Because I am unable to understand anything. It's taken a lot to accept the reality ." I wipe the tear that escape from her eyes.
" There was many time the pain became unbearable. There was many times I felt like come running to you. There was time when I want you to with me saying everything will be okay. You will make everything okay.
There was time when I want to be in your arms to protect me. To say it's all bad dream it will get over. I had given everything of mine.
In all this mess I dragged you. I hurted everyone. I caused you pain. I am unable to look myself in mirror . I feel so horrible when I think what must you have gone through Shivaay.
I was about to die shivaay. What if something happen again.
I don't have in me to go through anything again. I am so scared Shivaay for you, for us.
Why me Shivaay?? I didn't do anything wrong to anyone. I only had one wish to have simple life with you . Is that too much to ask Shivaay?? "
She is crying bitterly. Her whole body is shaking, shivering. She is insecure. She is hurt. She is breaking down terribly.
I take her in my arms. She held me tightly. Her cries were becoming gut wrenching. She is unable to control herself. She fall on her knees. I balanced her getting on my knees. She was hurting God knows how much she kept her inside.
"Anika " I held her cares her back to provide comfort. Even I have tears in my eyes seeing her crying like this. She will get sick if kept crying.
" Anika I am not going anywhere. I am not letting you go anywhere. We will be together. I promise nothing will happen. I will make everything okay. " My own voice came hoarse.
I wiped my tears. Breaking the hug I make her look at me. I wipe her tears but more tears come. I made her stand.
"No look here Anika. You will not think any of this. Whatever happened is happened we can't redo anything. But when we got our second chance why to waste it. We have our future in our hand to be together just like we want. Why to let your sacrifices and pain let go in vain.
I didn't knew that mom is planning something like this. But I am glad she did Anika. Because I want that. I want us to get married . Nothing is wrong to think about ourselves be selfish sometime. And for us I will be selfish everytime."
I hugged her again. Her hold tighten around me. I don't know how mins we stand there. Until her sob subsidies and she come down. I make her sit on swing placed in balcony. I take out my handkerchief from pocket. Wipe her face with it.
" What a mess you had make of yourself Anika. "
" Your mess to handle " I looked at her in amusement.
"All mine to handle " I sat beside her. She take my hand in her.
We sat there in each other arms in silence.
" When you buy this house?? "
" After two months of our engagement. And I want you to the interior of this house. That's it's looking like this. I thought to present you on marriage. "
" You don't have to do anything Shivaay. "
" That's for me to decide. "
" Will you once stop being stubborn."
We spend rest of our time there later I dropped Anika left to OM. I have something to bring.
In evening I changed and came back from farm house. Guest were started coming many Ishaan friends and their parents.
Anika is standing with me in maroon suit with her hairs open looking gorgeous how hard I try today my eye's were finding way to her.
She is better than before. She is quite but atleast not faking smile. I know it will take time for her to recover.
Soon it's time for cake cutting. I made her stand beside me when she is standing in corner.
" He will not cut cake until he saw you near him Anika. "
I baked one cake for him the one he liked the most. Other is his Superman theme cake. After cutting cake it's finally time for his gift.
" Bale papa bali maa gift " See I told you he can't wait anymore now.
I take him in my arms.
" And what will I get. "
"It's my birthday bale papa."
"Shivaay why are you teasing him. He is child not you. "
" Balii maa is good. " Going in her arms.
" Let it be Ishaan I will give you your gift. "
I asked khanna to bring his gift. After seeing he shouted so loud. Hugging both of tightly that everyone come to see what cause him to shout like this.
It's an mini bike which he saw in mobile show's me how he want that.
Om and gauri taking him to Disneyland as his birthday gift.
He literally running that bike in hall. Around us happily showing to his friends.
After only family members were remaining . Manav and priyanka asked everyone to gather together. They had something for om and gauri specially.
They played the video from the day when om gauri announced about pregnancy. Then some of moments from their journey. The day when he born and everyone take him in their arms for the very first time. How badi mom and mom where having tears in their eyes.
" He was so tiny Shivaay " Anika said looking at video in aww.
Then how he used to cry small moments with every one bade papa and him playing. Dad , mom and him. Their was one video of me and him when we both were sleeping in chair with him in my arms. He was 6 month old that time. There was so many moments till yesterday. Even Anika and manav are in videos from vacations.
I looked around to find everyone has tears in eyes. Gauri, Om hugging Ishaan where Gauri is literally crying.
I blinked my eyes to avoid the moisture. I looked at my side to look Anika she rest her head on my shoulder her arm locked with mine.
" Times fly so fast " Anika said looking at me.
" I still can't believe this tiny human is 4 today Anika. What no one can do he can do it just by passing one look. He filled our life's with happiness. How he used to cry to go with me office. Or sometimes through things in my room just because I was engrossed in my work such an attention seeker he is. Still hide from Gauri and Om in my room after doing something mischievous. Still unable to pronounce bade papa. " I chuckled looking at him.
" Why everyone crying God we didn't do to make you all cry. See Ishaan how your mom is crying. " Manav said taking him in his arms.
" Thank you bhaiya " Gauri said hugging him.
After dinner everyone left to OM. I had something to give Anika. I came in her room but she is in restroom so I sat on couch.
It's been 15 min whats taking her so long. Before I knocked on door she opened to only bumped on me.
" What are you doing here?? "Taking step back.
" I came here to give you something. But did you take your medicines?? "
" No I am taking. "
" Take medicines first. "
After she take her medicines I ask her to sit with me.
"What you want to give me ?? "
" Something that you gave me but forget to take back? "
" Are you done with your riddles because I want to sleep. "
" I am serious Anika. "
" When I said you are not. "
" Anika "
" Shivaay "
"Okay fine you continue this. I am going back. It's my fault I thought to give you back. " I grumbled before I stand she held my arm.
" Okay I am sorry but I really don't have answer for your question. "
" Start eating almonds Anika. You are forgetting important things. " I take her hand in mine. Taking out the ring I slip in her ring finger. I looked back to looking shocked.
"Giving back what's yours rightfully. "
" Shivaay.. this... "
" Come " I made her stand in front of mirror and stand beside her. She try to turn but I held her in position.
"Look at yourself Anika . You don't have to feel shame. If you want to find yourself then you have to forgive yourself first. If anything you are more strong and brave Anika than before who know how to fight her war own.
If anywhere she will fall I am there just behind to hold her. You don't need me to protect yourself Anika because you are capable to do your own. "
I slide her hair on one shoulder. Taking out the pendant that I gifted her on birthday. I make her wear. She looked at us on mirror.
She held my hand made me stand beside.
"I want you to stand beside me hand in hand not behind me Shivaay. "
I looked both of us in front hugging her sideways I kissed on her temple.
" I am looking more good than you. Didn't I?? "
" You are not Shivaay. Stop being full of yourself. " She hit me with her elbow.
" What I am saying truth in between two people one look more good and between us I am the one. "
" You keep doing this I am going. " She tried to go away I held her even more tightly.
" Anika "
" Shivaay "
We both broke into the laughter.
We both fall for each other souls because that we are one soul in two different bodies.
••||||••••||||••
It's the soul which lives, thrives, and feels. Not the body which is mortal and bound to extinct. The soul is meant to live and witness forever, it's meant to testify for the start of the world and the end of it. It'll be there. Maybe in the sides or in the center, but it's going to be there.
That's why one should fall for the soul and not the body. Because when you fall for a soul, your love will be eternal and not mortal. It'll live, breathe, express, and feel.
That's when you'll be called soulmates ame soure.
Two souls who fell for each other, fought for each other, and lived for each other.
Two souls who care, smile, tease, laugh, cry, and love.
The End.
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It's the last chapter of ame soure. What a journey it was. So many ups and downs then finally I am able to come to the end. It's been possible with your love and patience only. I want you to pour your heart for this chapter. I really want to know your views. I would love to each one of them. I request to each one of you even my silent readers. Do vote and comment.
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