After seeing my body lying before me, I feel like a ghost more than ever. I feel out of place. I feel dead, at least in this world.
It's almost as if my still body is silently telling me that I don't belong, that my home is not here but back on Earth, the world I have always known. However, I find myself stepping — more accurately, gliding — toward the unknown.
My hand hovers over the chest of my sleeping body. I can't feel its steady rising and falling, nor can I feel the light beating of my heart, but I know my heart is in there somewhere, just waiting to come alive again.
I let my hand glide over the red fabric of my wedding dress that has a darkened stain tainting it. The tight churning within my gut whispers to me, telling me that stain is exactly what I think it is. Blood. I can only hope that it is Biast's blood and no one else's.
If it is not from him and he is still ruining the land with his presence, then I will personally stain my skin red with his blood until he has no more to offer. I go to grip the edge of the table to calm myself, only to have my hand slip right through it. It's another blaring reminder of the helpless state I'm in.
I switch my gaze over to the two witches who have been quietly conversing amongst themselves for the past few minutes. "I'd like to go back now...to my body."
Their voices hush and they focus on me, silently staring until Nimue responds, "Then say your name, my dear."
My eyebrows furrow together at her instructions. I had thought that they would chant something again, or maybe, I would have to complete some sort of odd ritual. Instead, all I have to do is just say my own name, a task that no one, not even a five-year-old can fuck up.
Despite this, my nerves begin to jitter as I open my mouth and whisper, "Cyra."
Nothing happens. "Cyra," I try again, this time, louder with more impatience. Nothing happens yet again. "Cyra, Cyra, Cyra, Cyra!" I yell in desperation, "Cyra Roe, Cyra Lillian Roe! Oh, what the hell am I doing wrong? It's not working!"
Sybil simply begins shaking her head with a smile that practically screams 'You're a fool'. "No, no, say the name you have been gifted in Bestias."
This is proving to be more challenging than I originally thought it would be. I'm not even sure where to start. I don't have a single damn clue as to what my Bestian name is. Shouldn't it just be Cyra? I mean, that is what everyone calls me. Unless...
"Human!" I shout the word out, grinning widely until I realize that was not the correct word.
Silence envelops the room and my mind as I draw a blank, frustrated and quickly losing hope. If I can't figure out my name, then I'll be stuck forever in this ghost-like state. Sure, I may be able to remain in Bestias, but I won't ever be able to feel Dorian's warmth again.
That's the last thing I want, especially when I miss him terribly. All I want to do is find that vampire, kiss him, and then let him fuck me for hou—...
"Oh, Cyra," Sybil calls to me in a sing-song voice that sounds like nails against a chalkboard, "I believe your mind has drifted...significantly."
"Ah, what is that saying those humans adore? Oh! I think her mind is in the garden," Nimue comments.
"Gutter. It's gutter, you brainless toad," Sybil corrects her, lightly hitting her on the top of the head.
"I'd prefer it if you called me something more endearing as you usually do, like 'you clever crow'."
"Something more endearing..." I echo quietly, the gears now turning in my head. As if a lightbulb has lit up my once-darkened mind, the answer comes to me, "Felix culpa, my felix culpa!"
The witches smile simultaneously, gaps and all, before everything twists. Black mixes with brown, green slips into gray, and red taints white until all the shades become one giant whirlpool. They spin endlessly, making my eyes start to ache.
That dull pain turns to a searing flame that twists into my jaw and neck before rippling down to the tips of my toes. It tightens my muscles and closes my airways. I'm left to gasp for air that cannot reach me in this odd, colorful hell that I have been sucked into.
A terrifying thought seeps into my panicked mind. Had the witches tricked me? There is no other logical explanation. This hell had to be my punishment for bothering them. I must have been—...
Whiteness breaks through the swirling colors, enveloping them entirely. Eventually, it seeps away to reveal what looks to be a ceiling that needs heavy repairs. I stare at the ceiling, blinking slowly until realization falls upon me.
"I'm alive...I'm back in my body, holy shit!" I murmur to myself, frantically pressing on my limbs and the table beneath me to ensure that I can feel it all, "I can't believe it! I can go back to Dorian...I, I can be with him again! God, I can't wait to kiss him..." I turn toward the witches, shaking and full of a happiness I never thought I would have been able to have again. "Thank you, thank you so much! This means the world to me."
"I'll make sure to lift your banishment from Lamias once I see Dorian again, I swear," I promise as I swing my legs off the edge of the table, eager to get up and find Dorian.
However, I am stopped by a singular look from the witches that tells me they have more to say, and I have a feeling that I won't like what comes next. Though, whatever it is, I will accept it wholeheartedly. Nothing will stop me from getting to Dorian.
"All of our magic comes at a price, especially the magic that goes against nature," Sybil tells me in a careful voice that I know is meant to soften the blow that is coming my way. "The price for you is–..."
"Your soul!" Nimue screeches with her fists raised in the air but she quickly puts them down in shame after Sybil glares at her.
"No, not your soul. The price is your humanity, nothing more or less." She must have seen that I had no idea what the loss of my humanity meant because she adds, "To be more specific, your spilled blood will no longer be red but—..."
I take my turn in interrupting Sybil and finish her sentence, "Silver."
It is only now that hesitancy pulls me back. To be stuck in Bestias is one thing, but to be stuck in Bestias and become a vampire is another. I would be transforming into a fanged, red-eyed creature that hungers for blood. The thought alone terrifies me enough to make me almost say 'never mind'. Fortunately, I hold my tongue and think for a moment.
I'm human, a very weak and defenseless being that is shitted on by all other creatures in this land. I have no power or magic. Basically, I'm useless, and that is exactly what I don't want to be to Dorian, especially since I am now the Queen.
I want to be someone who can stand beside a powerful man like Dorian without looking like a small, fragile thing that can't even hope to hold its own in a fight. And, most importantly, I need to protect Dorain from all of those who wish to harm him. Yes, I know how foolish it is to say that when he's a vampire, but I'm saying it because I love him.
Love can people do stupid things, and the decision I'm making now may be more stupid than saying 'stupider'. Still, I don't care. I'm doing it and I sure as hell won't regret it.
A deep breath is taken inward before five life-altering words flow from my mouth, "I'll give up my humanity."
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