Cora
He was right, Ivan would not appreciate if anything happened to me, saving him or not, but that didn't mean I'd just sit in the sidelines and watch.
I've done that basically all my life and I'm tired of it.
So now, I'm stepping up
Dangerous or not, I was gonna try to help out in saving Ivan.
"If it's too dangerous then show me" I blurted out, stealing his attention from whatever he was thinking.
His head snapped up and our eyes met, his sage green eyes meeting my hazel ones.
"Show you what"? He asked
"Show me how to use a gun to defend myself, that way it'll be less dangerous and you won't have to worry about me" I explained and he just sighed out
"It doesn't work like that принцесса" he muttered calling me that name, that one that makes me wish I knew Russia, even if it's just a bit "Even if I show you how to use a gun, it doesn't make it any less dangerous, it only makes it more dangerous than it already is" he said making me scrunch my brows in confusion, how is that even possible
"Look, just drop it please, let me handle it on my own, you've done enough already" he muttered and i rolled my eyes at him
I hated that he thinks I am too fragile to handle this.
I'm stronger than I look
"Can you just stop deciding for me? Please, I hate it, it's what everyone around me has done to me all my life and it's suffocating" I whisper out feeling the lumps in my throat
He opens his mouth to speak but I go first
"I never chose to be born into this life, my parents made that choice for me, I never chose to be hidden all my life, they chose that for me, you kidnapped me from my home, I didn't choose that, you made the choice for me and many others that I didn't choose, so please for once let me know what it feels like to make a choice of my own" I pleaded my voice breaking "please Dimitri, just let me help you" I pleaded in ernest.
He just kept looking at me, he looked confused.
He breathe out before turning around, I was silently praying he agrees to me helping.
"If I do this..." He paused before continuing "if I let you help me, you have to promise that you will back out if it gets too dangerous" he said finally turning to look at me and I eagerly nodded my head "I can't teach you how to fight because of...." He paused looking at my stomach, I know what he was about to say, he quickly shook his head as if realizing I don't like talking about it
"But I'll teach you how to use a gun, just the basics" he muttered and I almost jumped up.
I nodded, trying to keep my cool
Now we're talking
The room became silent again as I picked on my fingers, now what?
"So you really don't know how to use a gun"? His voice made me look up and I found him staring at me, I couldn't decipher what he was thinking at the moment
I just shrugged my shoulders
"Wow, you don't know how to drive, you don't know how to use a gun, but your sister is a very deadly assassin and you practically live with men that kill people everyday, yet you can't use a gun" he muttered making me scrunch my brows, him putting it like that made it sound like a big deal
"What about a knife? Surely you know how to use a knife"? He asked his tone almost expectant but I disappointed him by shaking my head again
He sighed his shoulders slumping
"What? Not all of us like blood and killing people" I muttered looking down at my fingers
"You don't have to like blood or killing people to learn those things, it's to protect yourself" he explained and I rolled my eyes
"From what? I'm not a part of your world" I muttered
"No you're not, but your sister is, and that should be reason enough to learn these things, you don't have to be part of the mafia before you learn to protect yourself" he explained
"Ivan isn't a part of my mafia or any other mafia but he knows how to use a gun, a knife and he knows hand to hand combat"
That perked my ears up and I looked at him
"He isn't"? I muttered lowly, more to myself but I think he heard me
"No he isn't, the only reason you kept seeing him around the house, was because of you, Ivan has nothing to do with the mafia, he never did, but because of the name he answers he knows he'll always be a part of it, willingly or not" he finishes off looking at me with those eyes that makes me wonder if they're warmth or just how he looks at everyone else
I took in his words, processing what he just told me, he muttered something under his breath before walking past me and heading inside, probably his room.
As much as I hate to say this, he was right.
I really need to learn to protect myself, willingly or not, I've been dragged into the life.
I breathe out before going round the table and sitting on the couch
_____________________________________
His outstretched hand was holding the thing, he had been waiting on me to take it from him but instead I was analyzing it.
I'd never held one in my life and now looking at it, I felt like I was doing something wrong but then I had to man up, Cara won't always be there to save me, I learnt that the hard way.
I quickly put my hand out and rested it on the cold metal, it felt cold and strange
My fingers wrapped around it and I picked it up, wrong move because it almost dropped, it's fucking heavy
No one said anything about it being this heavy
"Easy" he muttered looking at me
"It's heavy" I said looking at it and then him and he nodded
"Yes, yes it is"
I tried moving it around my hands but I had no idea what I was doing, bloody hell I'm holding a gun
He moved closer to me and stood by my side, I could perceive the smell of his cologne mixed with cigarette
"I'm going to show you how to hold it" he muttered out "I'm going to have to...to touch you, can I touch you"? He asked calmly and I looked up at him to find him looking at me softly, his sage green eyes looked a bit darker than usual and I could actually see him breathing.
I'd never been this close to him, looking at him ever since that day, it felt weird
So I quickly looked away before nodding my head
He moved behind me before taking both my hands and the gun, showing me exactly how I'm supposed to hold it
"Don't put your fingers on the trigger if you're not ready to shoot, it might go off" he muttered behind me, my back was kind of pressed to his chest and I could feel his body heat, which did little to nothing in hiding my beating heart.
"This is the safety, it's off" he said pointing at a little button like switch thing "Don't turn it on unless you're ready to shoot" he clicked it once and then did it again, just to show me how to turn it on and off
He opened up the bullet chamber and showed me, the gun was empty "That's how to check if you have any bullets in it, this one can hold 10 bullets" he explained
He slowly let his hands trail away from mine, now I'm the one holding the gun while he's just standing behind me, I gulped and I could feel my hands getting sweaty.
Okay now I know how to hold a gun
I quickly dropped it on the table, feeling my shaky breath and my heart thumping fast.
I don't know what was making it beat that fast, is it the fact that I just held a gun or the fact that Dimitri was just inches away from me.
Deep down I hoped it was the former
"I'm guessing you've never held a gun before"? He asked looking at me and picking up the gun, holsting it back on his waistband
I gently shook my head
"What about a knife"? He asked and I nodded
He seemed to be genuinely surprised at this
"The day you um..... The day you..you kidnapped me" I muttered looking away
"Oh" he muttered
After a while of taming my racing heart I decided to ask him one question
"Why"? I blurted out and he looked at me
"Why what"? He asked walking round the kitchen table and sitting in front of me
"Why'd you ask for permission before uuh.. before touching me earlier on"? I asked and he just shrugged
"I didn't know if you'd be comfortable with it, so I had to ask" he explained making me nod my head
We both fell into a kind of silence
It wasn't comfortable and it wasn't awkward
It was quiet.
Okay I'm going to try to make it less long and more interesting.
You're going to see more of Dimitri and Cora
No Ivan, sorry
They have to work through their differences before the book comes to an end guys