Carmen
Stefano eased the gun I was holding up my arm a little, positioning it correctly from behind me since apparently I wasn't doing it right. I thought I was, but no. His body pressed against my back, and obviously it left me with no other choice but to lean into him. I am so tired, and he's so comforting. Maybe not right now though.
"Stand straight up." He scolds, placing one hand on the center of my back and one onto my lower stomach, pushing forward. Forcing me to stand straight up, shoulders pointed backwards. He makes sure that my feet are aligned on the floor below, dropping his hand down and moving my thigh over a bit, parting my legs.
I can't lie, it got a little hotter in here when he did that. I felt sparks shoot of my body from the touch. I turn my head to try and catch his eyes, and I do. But he didn't seem to be amused. He turns my head back around, hooking a hand under my jaw and forcing me to keep my eyes locked straight forward on the target he wants me to shoot.
He shot a few rounds before me and hit bullseye each and every single time. I think that everyone in the room was sort of taken back by it, but not shocked. No, I wasn't shocked either, but I did feel incredibly turned on. So insanely turned on.
His back muscles flexed as he shot the gun in his hand. I really couldn't think about it without blushing. I feel my cheeks start to burn and mentally thank him for being annoyed with me right now. Otherwise I'd want to climb him.
The last thing I need is him to see me blushing. He would think that I'm not taking his lesson seriously, which I'm not. I know how to shoot a gun, it isn't that hard, and besides. I've had training at the estate.
"Do you honestly think that if someone is shooting at my head, I will say to myself, you should stand up straight." I grumble underneath my breath. Cutting eyes at him. I bite my bottom lip, amused by my own self.
"Focus Carmen. I mean it." He says seriously. He was in big boss don mode. After our therapy session in the shower earlier this morning, he has really went full force into this idea of his. He didn't seem to be taking any chances with me unskilled with a gun in my hand. It shouldn't have taken me by surprise.
I guess he's getting used to a gun in my hand.
The fact that it is six in the morning and we are at a shooting range should explain enough. The ending of Giovanni. Stefano's decision to step down from the Genovese Mafia. It would be bloody. He's preparing me for anything that could happen, and honestly, that thought terrifies me. But I would still rather be sitting next to Luca eating goldfish and watching his father fire guns.
"You tell me to focus a lot." I pout, turning my head to face him again. His hands grab both sides of my head, turning, after he left the gun in my hands.
"Pay attention or I'm shipping you to an unknown location until this blows over." He threatens.
"Stop it." I whine. It might terrify the fuck out of me but the thought of not being within a near distance of Stefano terrified me to no ends. Its crazy love. Or maybe its just me. But I'll be his personal shield when it came to a bullet. I know that he would never forgive me for it, but it isn't his choice to make. I knew he'd do the same for me.
I think I'm slowly preparing myself to be okay with sacrificing myself for him if it ever came down to it. In any way. From a bullet in my chest to easy leverage. He is my best friend. I'll die for him.
Blinking back tears and swallowing back the lump in my throat, I adjust the gun in my hands.
"Disgusting." Jason spoke up from the section next to ours. I hear a gun lock and load before a round of gunfire rang out into the air, repeatedly. He's trigger happy.
"You'll understand someday." I speak when he finishes, biting the inside of my cheek to the point of it burning.
"Go fuck yourself."
I hope that he does find someone to love, and to love him, for him. I see the look in his eyes when he looks at Stefano and me. He may be a closed book but I know his weakness.
He's always hated to be alone. He hates the dark, he hates storms. He doesn't like to be alone, het gets restless, nervous. He'd prefer to be in a crowd, whether it be a busy coffee shop or busy city street.
I hope he finds a friend.
I am paranoid, I must admit. Its just a feeling in the pit of my stomach. As I look around at everyone, I feel afraid. You know that scary knowing feeling you get before something bad happens, also referred to as the calm before the store?
Its raging in my stomach, head, and heart.
I need everyone to be safe, forever.
"Carmen Rosetta Genovese, I will not tell you again. If you think that I will not send you across the country, think again." Stefano gripped his hands over mine to the point of pain. My arms raise high, shoulder starting to cramp from the position, I felt like falling to my knees and crying out in pain, terror. I'm scared.
His aggressive behavior isn't helping.
For the rest of our morning, I swore to Stefano to pay attention and keep focus, and that is exactly what I did. Even if it was hard with Jason making small comments and correcting me in a more harsh way than Stefano would or could.
Things went fine. Stefano taught me how to hold a gun the way he would. He told me what do with my hips when dodging a bullet, which, fyi, isn't to stand in one place and get shot. But to literally jump the hell out of the way. Got that noted down in my head.
After a few hours there, we have the guns back, some of us reluctantly. Jason hesitated, looked almost sad to be giving the one he had up. He was in a bad mood for the rest of the time we spent there. Angry with me for begging Stefano to buy me a western cowgirl hat, and Luca wanted one too.
"I like snazzy don't I?" I ask Stefano in my best country accent, tipping my head forward as I've seen in movies. He stands back with his arms crossed and a small smile on his face. I turn my head to see Luca flirting with Arlo. I guess the hats got to his head.
"You look pathetic." I shoot my middle finger up at Jason. Walking by he glares at all of us and began his trip to the car.
"I'm full country today baby." I pose, propping my hip out. His eyes travel down my body slowly.
"Show me something.. country." Stefanos head tilts as he finds the words to say. I laugh at his pronunciation of the word country mixed with his accent and start to lasso with my arm high. I looked like I was teaching an 80s aerobics class. He bites his lower lip, smirking. He likes my aerobics lesson.
"I'll teach you everything you need to know." I say with my best seductive voice.
His eyes follow me as I walk closer, wrapping my arms around his neck, his wrap around my waist. Looking down at me as if I'm all that matters. I stare into his eyes and feel myself crumbling.
I smirk, transferring my hat to his head. Liking the way it looks on him and how we're both hiding underneath the long front of it. He leans down, biting the tip of my nose.
"Ow!" Please do it again. I could feel my legs shaking from wanting to wrap around his waist so badly. I swear if we weren't in public right now I'd show him how I could throwdown.
A throat clears next to us and it's Arlo.
"Jason is backing out." She looks annoyed. Stefano and I both turn our heads towards the large windows, looking out. We watch Jason back out of the parking space and speeding towards the building, he throws his arm out of the window.
"I'm hungry!" Luca shouts.
Everyone was hungry, and so we decided to go to drive around until we found somewhere to eat. Adrik and Jason looked beyond annoyed, listening to Luca and I singing random country songs. Arlo found it amusing. I caught her smiling dozens of times.
Paul was distracted with his phone and Stefano watched the two of use closely from the rear view. I could see something familiar in his eyes. Like love. I sucked in a breath each and every time we made eye contact.
How could still take my breath away. We were way past the honeymoon phase. The thought put a smile on my face. I felt at ease, and protected.
I let go of my fears for the time being.
We found a place. There's a buffet inside, which I've never been to one of those before so it's surely interesting. I'm glad I wasn't the only one, Stefano looked confused as well.
I made sure to stay alert. I swear I felt so paranoid, I'll start hallucinating soon enough.
"You have seriously never eaten buffet?" I nudge Stefano, leaning against his side as we wait in line to put what we want on our plates. It wasn't too busy but I continued to cling to him, which isn't too good of an idea. He'll confront me about it soon. Ask me what's wrong.
I look over and eye the fresh fruit that is disappearing quickly.
"Room service, bellissima." He murmured, leaning into me too. I loop our arms together, gripping his softly. Using it shoulder as a pillow. I close my eyes and replay his words over, and over in my head, bellissima, bellissima, bellissima.
"I can have anything I want?" Luca comes up to us and cutting the short line behind us. I did it all the time with my parents. Fuck, here come the waterworks. I squeeze my eyes tightly shut before opening them again and my tears vanish.
"Yes."
"No." I express.
Stefano and I look turn to look at each other in shock. I didn't mean to speak, yet I felt compelled to. Luca has a major sweet tooth, and looking at the food we're about to eat, and the sugar about to be inhaled by the excited seven year old. I knew in no time he'd be jumping off the walls on a sugar high.
"No or yes, yes?" Luca looks between the both of us with wide eyes, a hopeful glint in them.
"If you eat so much sugar you'll get jittery and anxious." I tell Luca as I look away from Stefano, leaning away from him and walking forward towards the fruit.
"She is right, eating so much isn't healthy." I tense up hearing Stefano agreeing with me from afar. It was fine if he wouldn't have. I would have apologized anyway later for stepping in to make a decision for Luca instead of him.
I don't know why I feel the need to apologize. I know that I may be young but Luca is my step son, or some day he will hopefully accept me into that roll in his life.
I began to overthink myself at the table we ate it. Eyes scanning the place as I did. It was insanely noticeable how quiet I was. Everyone had started up several conversation and I never once spoke.
My vibes are off in every way possible. At this point I'm waiting for something to happen.
I bite the inside of my cheek while watching Stefano reach for one of Lucas crayons. I guess the place had both buffet and dining options.
My eyebrows furrow, watching him write something down, sliding it closer to him. Luca doesn't question anything, eyeing his father suspiciously. He goes back to making conversation with Paul.
Stefano didn't have to speak. I read each word. I knew I wasn't crazy. That feeling of knowing is never wrong. Geez, I sound like my mother.
gio's man at 11 o'clock. lead him to the restroom. i'll follow.
My heart tingles in my chest when he lifts the crayon for me to take. Without lifting his head, he waits for me to write. Taking a sip of his drink, my hand grabs my thigh beneath the table, out of fear. I'm finally helping. He's allowing me to help.
ok
As soon as I lift the crayon, he snatched it from my fingers to continue writing something else.
finish your food, we can't be obvious. the others will not know of this. quick and easy
That uneasy feeling becomes even more president in my head as I look up and make eye contact with Arlo. She gives me a small closed lip smile. Next to her, Jason rolls his eyes at something Adrik says, and Paul looks spaced out as always. Luca, happy.
I fished up the rest of my food while letting my eyes travel around the room. Thankfully the familiar face that registered in my mind was looking elsewhere. Distracted by a woman walking by. I immediately looked down towards my plate.
I clench my jaw knowing the Stefano's eyes were on me for most of our time here eating. I don't take the chance of taking a quick double take, instead, I slide out of the booth without a word, in hopes of luring the certain person somewhere a bit more private.
I take my time walking to the restrooms. Feeling cool metal skim my skin. I adjust the knife I slip from my silverware. Keeping a tough grip on it. I push my way through the ladies room and as the door closes, I turn to face it. Ready.
The door swings open and my heart stops in my chest. I don't know if the feeling racing through my body is fear or excitement. Maybe a little bit of both.
I knew I remembered his face from the yacht where I recognized Giovanni. The man standing in front of me had been in his small circle as they spoke to each other.
He has an in, with Giovanni.
"You know, you're much clever than I thought you'd be." The nameless man laughed lightly, stroking his chin. He stared at me with such and evil look in his eyes. I never thought anything of the sort could exist outside of action films.
He'd be the villain in that scenario, but right now, he's just another body with a brain that could provide me with useful information that I could use to help my husband and my family.
He walks further into the tight space, limping. He looked to me physically in pain.
"Why did you follow me?" I cross my arms to seem more confident. Hip sticking out as I pose comfortably, I felt intimidating, do I look it?
I am so sick and tired of this cat and mouse game with these mafias. They all seem to be children who need to be scolded.
"I was ordered to watch you." He replied, and his words sound genuine.
"That's sort of fucked up, don't you think?"
"You've got a hit on that pretty head of yours." He smiled, showing teeth, and they weren't all there.
"What'd you think, you would get married to the most wanted man here and just leach off his money. No, everyone wants what don Genovese has. Don't take it personal girl, you're just a toy to us." He giggles, taking another step closer, dragging his leg.
"Who is us exactly." Other Mafia's obviously. But would he say the name Giovanni.
The grim smile reached his eyes. All of a sudden his leg wasn't hurt. He was walking full force towards me, boots hitting the tile floor. I jump backwards, back knocking into the stall, he pushed me against it. Keeping me trapped, face shoved into mine. I refrain from screaming, not out of fear, but anger for being so stupid.
Stupid enough to be cornered.
Where the hell is Stefano.
He looks down at me, almost like he's undressing me with his eyes, his hands pull at the jacket covering my shoulders ripping it off of me and throwing it somewhere. Now lifting the bottom of my sweater, I feel its time to use the knife before he finds it.
Removing the knife, I can't extend my arm, I'm completely restricted and panic sets in.
"Plenty of you to share. I like the idea of testing you before Gio." I swallow back fear, driving the knife into the bottom of his stomach. The hurt on his face, loosened his hold on me. I slip underneath his arms and towards the bathroom door. It hits me in the back as its shoved open.
I remain paralyzed from pain.
Tall as the doorframe, Stefano stands with a murderous look in his eyes. A little less unsettling than nameless guy. I fall against the wall Infront of him, breathing heavily. My back starts to become numb if that's even possible.
The man turned and fear filled his eyes. He doubled over with the knife still plunged deep in his skin. Arms raised in submission. He begged an unknown favor with his eyes as he stared back at the man I consider to be my home.
Tears escaped his eyes and I can see why.
Stefano raised a gun up to the mans temple.
"A-a-are y-you?" His voice trembled.
Then it hits me. No one has any idea what Stefano looks like, except for Giovanni that is. Everyone who has ever met Stefano had no idea of his true identity as don of the Italian mafia.
I look away from the both of them. Feeling a wave of sickness crash over me. The outcome of this situation was predicable. The three of us knew this.
"I had to s-scare h- h - her. To s-s- s- send a- u- uh message." Stefano hadn't even said a word and this man was already begging for his life.
"We will have to send a message back to him, yes. To share that we've received his, loud and clear." Stefano quirked an eyebrow before his finger pressed down on the trigger.
Bile rose up my throat at the sound of a small explosion of the man's head. Stefano's had a silencer. I refrain from turning my head for a moment, trying to restrain tears. I blink them back before staring at Stefanos head and only his head. Not at the traces of crimson now on the walls around us.
He bent down, and searched through the mans pockets. Coming across an iPhone, he unlocked it with ease, no password, and chose the message app, which the man hadn't bothered to delete his texts. Stefano cleared his throat as he scrolled through multiple. I stand waiting, peering over at him.
He stands up and the sound of snapping a picture filled the air. My eyes widen hearing the sound of sending a message filled the room next. He had just sent someone a picture of the man's dead body.
"A steak knife?" He asked gently when he realized what kind of knife was dug into the mans body. He shook his head, eyes flickering over my body. He looked sick. Jaw clenched. He gripped the gun tightly in his hand. Dropping the phone onto the ground and crushing it with his foot.
He slowly walks up to me, dropping his head onto my shoulder, he keeps his hands by my sides. Sucking in a breath when I tense up underneath him. I slowly relax.
"You're in shock." He murmurs. Voice muffled by my hair.
"Am I?" I ask softly.
I wasn't. He wasn't in my head, he didn't know what I was thinking. How I was thinking of getting rid of this man myself.
I'm bad.
Am I evil?
I take my hands, dragging them up from where they rest by my sides. Placing them flat against the back of his thighs, and slowly dragging them up. I wrap one of my arms tightly around his waist while lifting his jaw with a free hand.
Taking his jaw and lifting. I stare into his darkened eyes. I wish I could say they were lust written. Blood smears across his chin as my hand is smothered in it from touching his clothes.
I look down and frown at the open cuts on his knuckles. His eyes were too focused on me to notice. I'm sure he didn't care in this moment.
"We're okay." I whisper, rubbing my thumb against his cheek. I stand up on the tips of my toes and press a kiss to his forehead.
"We should go before someone walks in." I tell him. Making sure his eyes were locked on mine. So I'm wouldn't lose him.
"Stefano?" I question. His eyes watered.
"Baby, you are in shock." I accuse, cupping both of this cheeks.
And he breaks.
Again.