At least someone in one of those bully's families has a conscience. Turns out the guy lived in my neighborhood, and his mother saw the nametag on my bag.
She soon came knocking on my door to return the bag with an apology.
Renji Ichinose the guy's name was... I've kept it in mind ever since.
The rat bastard had returned my bag, but had taken the money from my wallet. And so close to the B-Komachi concert too...
It was embarrassing asking Kira for money, because I didn't want to rely on his fame to get by in life. I wanted my own path outside the expectation of inheriting his radio show someday.
Entertainment was something I wanted to experience, rather than partake in. And the upcoming B-Komachi concert was going to be my first taste of a true live spectacle.
While Ai had been performing for an entire year, B-Komachi was a relatively new group. They started out as a group of middle school models from Strawberry Productions.
Being the most experienced of the unit, Ai was the center.
At least she earned that and wasn't given nepotism, even if there were dirty rumors spread by tabloids that she was dating her producer.
I've met them both. And even I could see that Saitou viewed her as a daughter-figure. He was too obvious.
Then there were the rumors of tension in B-Komachi's ranks. Apparently a former member was stealing cosmetics and got fired.
Rightfully so.
Thieves don't prosper.
You don't get a free pass just because you're an idol.
If anything, it only made me want to support the members who were bullied that much more. And from the look in her eyes the day I met her, I was certain that Ai was also a victim of bullying.
So, it brought some kind of relatability for Sarina and Me that our idol was going through similar treatment.
'You never forget your first' they say, right?
Well, I was focused on making my first attendance at a B-Komachi concert the best it could be.
Kira gave me the money I needed to prepare for the event. The internet was limited back then before the new millennium, so I had to rely on idol fanzines for my research.
I prepared for the event, with a happi coat for myself and penlights and water for both of us to stay hydrated. I wanted to make sure Sarina had everything she needed, so I offered to buy her a happi coat but she refused, saying she was going to wear a red shirt to show her support for Ai instead.
Red was Ai's color, after all.
The event itself was more than just a concert for me; the plushie, the tickets, they were only the first two surprises I had in store for Sarina. There was one final surprise, something I'd been holding in, something I had kept telling myself to wait for the right moment to act upon. It was more personal and meaningful, and I was nervous about revealing it, but I knew that this night was the right moment. It was now or never.
When I thought about all the years I had spent with Sarina, I couldn't help but realize that no one else in my life meant more to me than her. To think that she could be gone in just two years was a thought that filled me with dread, and I knew that I couldn't let someone else step into the picture to take my place.
We had been through so much together and I wanted to spend the rest of her time with her, not just as friends but as something more. I knew that I needed to act fast and make sure that my feelings were known before it was too late.
...I was in love with her.
Honestly, I'm aware it's a hopeless feeling...
But it's the TRUTH. I was in love with Sarina. Everything about her! Her kindness, her cuteness, her intelligence, her sense of humor, I loved it all. She was the only one for me, and I seriously doubt anyone else could ever compare to her.
I can't deny the feelings that still live inside me to this day.
*Sigh*
But it's not like I could love again anyway.
I don't have a heart anymore.
We'll...get to that...
The night of the concert arrived. It was taking place in Saga, a four hour train ride away from Takachiho.
Considering Sarina's condition, we couldn't travel far. So I'm grateful that Ai and Ichigo liked our island of Kyushu enough to hold a concert here.
My ex-father Kira actually had been invited to the concert that weekend to work behind the scenes, so he was happy to accompany us on our journey as our chaperone.
Meanwhile, on the other hand, Sarina's parents seemed apathetic about it all. Like they were becoming increasingly distant with their daughter...
At the time I thought they were doing that because they know she enjoys spending time with me.
That couldn't have been more fucking wrong...
Back to the topic at hand, the live show was scheduled at the Saga Arena, a venue that had opened in the 70s and houses over 8000 people.
One ticket was like gold dust to obtain, let alone two. But I did it all for Sarina.
I wanted her to see Ai perform live.
As we arrived at the venue, I was dressed in my red happi coat, eager for the show to begin. Sarina stood next to me, dressed in her red shirt, pink hoodie, and green beanie with an Ai pin on it. The venue itself was beautifully decorated, with all the necessary amenities and facilities provided for the fans. It was clear that Strawberry Productions had put a lot of thought and effort into creating a welcoming environment for the B-Komachi fans.
For us lucky enough to attend the event, there was an added bonus: a chance to meet our favorite member, known as the 'Oshi.' For fans of idols, the term 'Oshi' is used to refer to their favorite member, and with Ai being the most popular choice, it was likely that all 8000+ attending fans would choose her.
Though it is kind of sad that other members like Nino don't get the attention they deserve for their efforts. I've heard that her autograph lines have been getting shorter and shorter lately...
*Sigh*
Before the show, we spotted a gachapon machine in the venue, which had been set up for the occasion. Each capsule would contain a piece of B-Komachi merchandise. However, the contents were entirely random; there was no way of knowing which member you were going to get. We were both excited to give it a try anyway. We stood in front of the machine, eager to see what we would get.
Sarina had taken a liking to the one of the keychains inside. The prospect of getting an Ai keychain excited the two of us. With a countdown to three, we turned the crank and opened our capsules.
KISUKE: "It's Ai! Yes! I've got her!"
SARINA: "Oh... I've got Takamine... *Sigh* Guess that's just my luck, right?"
KISUKE: "Hm... Here, let's switch!"
SARINA: "Huh? But Kisuke, that's your Ai keychain, you won it fair and square."
KISUKE: "I want you to have it. Something to keep with you during your hardest times. Something to tell you to keep fighting... Who knows? It may even bring you luck.
Please carry this keychain and look after it as if it were me."
Sarina's smile said it all, she was truly grateful for the gift.
SARINA: "Kisuke... Thank you! I'll never let go of it! Here, take mine!"
KISUKE: *Chuckle* "I'll always hold onto this. No matter what."
SARINA: "Huh... Aren't keychains supposed to have the hooks?"
KISUKE: "Oh, let me get that."
Following the instructions in the capsules, I attached the hooks to both keychains.
Sarina and I both agreed to write our initials on the back of each other's keychain, to show that they match.
That should have been the time to confess my love for her, but like an idiot I wanted to wait for the right moment...
It's easy to get caught up in waiting for the right moment, but sometimes that moment never comes. And even if it does, it may not be perfect. Because the truth is, nothing in this world Is perfect.
So perhaps the best way to live life is to appreciate what you do have, instead of waiting for something that may never come. Because if you spend your whole life waiting for the perfect moment, you might just miss out on all the good things right in front of you.
As the opening tunes of the instrumental music echoed throughout the concert hall, the anticipation of the crowd continued to build. Fans of B-Komachi had been eagerly awaiting this moment all night, and the stage lights cast a golden glow over the stage, reflecting off of the shiny floors and walls, as if they were the sun itself. The excitement was palpable as the fans eagerly awaited the arrival of their favorite idols.
B-Komachi.
The stage was a work of art, decked out in elaborate stage design, as the lights and sounds were carefully crafted to create an immersive experience for us.
The arena was filled with an infectious excitement as fans from around Kyushu came together to support B-Komachi. The anticipation for the girls to take the stage was palpable, as the crowd was abuzz with energy and conversation. Many fans came dressed in the group's colors or wore merchandise to show their support. Everyone was on the edge of their seats, eager to see the girls perform live.
When they finally arrived, it was like a wave of excitement swept over the crowd. The sound of their singing filled the air, and for the 8000+ fans gathered there, the energy in the air was palpable, and it was like we were all transported to another dimension. We were all completely and utterly captivated, lost in the moment and feeling the pure happiness of true fandom.
it was like the gates of heaven had opened and the bells were ringing.
Because a group of angels descended to be with us!
As I stood there, lost in the moment, I couldn't help feeling elated. It was a night like no other, and the performance of B-Komachi was beyond words. The energy in the arena was electric, and it was like something had possessed both myself and Sarina as we were captured by the moment.
True bliss was the only explanation for the feeling that swelled in the air, as we were both transported to another world by Ai's live performance. It was a moment that would be forever etched in my memory, a night that I would never forget.
A night...'I'...will never forget.
As the final notes of "Heart's Kiss" echoed through the arena, I felt a surge of adrenaline, knowing that this was my moment, before the grand finale of "STAR★T★RAIN," to tell Sarina how I truly felt. I had to tell her before it was too late, before the show ended and we returned to the real world.
SARINA: "Kisuke, I..."
Sarina fell forward as she wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into an embrace. In that moment, all the tension and fear of the situation dissipated, giving way to an overwhelming sense of happiness.
I felt her body pressed up against mine, and in return, I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her in tighter. It was a moment of pure joy and affection, as if all the tension and fear that had built up between us melted away, and we were simply two people embracing each other in a moment of love and comfort.
SARINA: "I'm...sorry..."
KISUKE: "...Huh?"
She was apologizing? What for?
The thought quickly sent me into overdrive as I knew something was wrong. Why else would she apologize in a moment like this?!
That wasn't any hug, it was a hold of desperation. I could feel the emotion seeping from every corner of her being. It was as if the weight of the world was pressing down on her shoulders and she was reaching out for any kind of comfort.
Sarina had collapsed.
I was in a state of panic and desperation, trying to find someone who could help me, but everyone was too enamored by the stage to listen to my pleas. I was trapped in a sea of humanity, all of them too caught up in the fantastical world of idols to even notice the real-life problems that were happening right in front of them. It was a frustrating and helpless feeling, to be so easily ignored by everyone around me.
I felt like I was screaming into the void, and no one could hear me. The only sound that reverberated was the sound of the music echoing through the arena. It was maddening. It was as if the world was so distracted by their own fantasies that they were blind to the realities of the world around them. It was a helpless and infuriating feeling.
I had to carry Sarina out of the crowd and into the concourse. It was a sobering moment of realization that there were hundreds, perhaps thousands, of people around us, but they were all too caught up in the excitement of the concert to pay any attention to a young girl in distress. It was a sad reflection of society, where we can easily get lost in our fantasies and forget to care for those who need us. It was a reminder of the importance of being aware of our surroundings and being able to help those who need it, especially in times of crisis. It was a difficult and sad experience, and one that made me question the state of the world.
It was only then that event staff noticed the situation and called for the paramedics.
The sight of Sarina being pushed in a wheelchair and then carried away in an ambulance for the second time was too much to take. The sight of her lying there, motionless, was like a punch in the gut. I couldn't help but wonder what terrible thing had happened this time. I wanted to be there with her, to hold her hand and tell her everything would be okay, but I couldn't. I just stood there, helpless, as she was carried off in that ambulance. It was a moment that would forever be etched in my memory, a moment of sheer heartbreak and despair.
Little did I know at the time that this would be the last time I ever saw her...