Karishma sways her white coat with a cup of coffee through ED door that separates the elevator and the emergency department area. Her long auburn hair is tied up into a pony tail while her eyes are sparkling as bright as the gold band on her finger. She grabs her stethoscope from her pocket and puts it over her neck before getting to the nurses' station. The hustle and bustle of the ED make she feel alive. Orthopedics is fun but it doesn't get her adrenaline pumping. She belongs here and she always knows it.
"Let's go out somewhere after shift." Jack who appears out of nowhere leans against the counter while making an undeniable offer. He doesn't even look at Karishma while saying all that. His eyes are on the tablet and his mind isn't partially elsewhere.
Karishma takes a tablet from a nurse and whispers thank you before facing Jack. "I can't. I have a date."
"With whom?" Jack pokes to see Karishma's new assigned case. He needs to know as her attending physician.
"What do you mean 'with whom"?" Karishma scoffs as she starts to make her way to a treatment room with Jack following not an inch away. He just wants his answer and he will go on his way. He believes in Karishma so much that he will let her handle the case and listen to her medical decision later. "Who else can I go on a date with?"
"You're married. It's called a dinner."
"You're bitter because Alice is actually 'dating' a guy that is not you." Karishma points out the fact that somehow feels like a silver bullet travelling through Jack's cold heart.
"I'm not bitter." Jack begs to differ and chuckles awkwardly. "She can date whoever she wants. We've never dated. We've never agreed to date."
"You've never agreed to date anyone." Karishma whines annoyingly.
Jack chooses to be quiet now although he feels so frustrated by that comment. "Send a smoke signal if you need me."
"Okey dokey."
Karishma enters the treatment room and rubs the sanitizer on her hands. She smiles for the patient who is lying on the bed adjusting his sight from the ceiling towards her. He smiles although his eye is swollen and his head is bleeding.
"Hi, I'm Doctor Singh." Karishma introduces herself as usual while putting on her latex gloves.
"I'm Chris. I wish half of my memories were left at that curb as well but they weren't." The man sighs lightly as Karishma starts to examine his wound. He rolled his eyes. "I tried skateboarding."
"Well, I'm sure Tony Hawk had got several wounds before he turned pro." Karishma puts her penlight away after checking his swollen eye. She is now looking at his small cut on the left side of his forehead. Along with the evaluation from the EMT, nothing seems out of ordinary or concerning. He is conscious, can answer every question that is thrown at him and doesn't show any sign of any severe concussions.
He chuckles in his throat. "I'm just trying out all the things I have to skip when I was married. I just got divorced."
"I'm sorry to hear that." Karishma responds whispery while her hands are busy stitching his wound to prepare him for a CT scan.
"Are you married, doctor?" Chris asks to kill time. He needs a little distraction from a needle and a thread that are running through his skin to close up his failure.
Karishma turns to grab a clamp and pauses with a polite smile. "I am."
"Oh, good." He turns his wheel all the way to the right and hopes to save the conversation. "Marriage is good."
Karishma chuckles as she sews the last thread on his wound. "Then, why did you get divorced?"
"Marriage is good." He repeats himself as he tries to be as still as possible. "But marriage is not for everyone. At least, not for me."
Karishma places all the equipment she has used in the tray and takes off her latex gloves. She is now processing everything Chris has said. "How do you know it's not for you?"
"I felt trapped." Chris answers short and simple. "I was losing myself and changing her. We shouldn't lose ourselves or change one another. That shouldn't happen."
Karishma puts both of her hands into her white coat pocket and nods. "Well, you should have worn a helmet when you play a skateboard. I'll send you up for a CT scan. It should be nothing but it's good to be cautious about this."
"Okay."
"I'll be back when I get your result."
"Thank you, doctor. And. That doesn't happen to everyone. What I told you."
"Yeah. Of course."
Karishma smiles and leaves the room. Before she gets to review what Chris has said to her, a nurse quickly tells her about someone who might or might not be expecting her in the waiting area.
"Doctor Singh, someone is expecting you." The nurse says as she gestures to a man who is still having some sort of an endless conversation with the receptionist in the waiting area. "I think."
"Okay." Karishma puts in some orders on her tablet and hands it over to the nurse. "Let me know when his CT comes back."
"Yes, doctor."
"Thank you."
Karishma makes her way out to the waiting area to the middle-aged man who seems restlessly trying to make sense of what he has been hearing.
"So you're saying that you don't have Doctor Karishna Singh." He repeats himself again for the third time with a piece of crumpled paper in his hand.
"We do have Doctor Karishma Singh and I'm positive that we're talking about the same person." The receptionist says with annoying gesture. He doesn't want to go through the same exact conversation again for the third time in a row.
"But she is a girl, correct?"
"Correct."
"Then, it's impossible for my daughter to be married to her and change into her last name. Correct?" The man raises a new argument and before the receptionist would respond, Karishma appears at the scene.
"Hi?" Karishma makes her appearance and as soon as the man faces her, she immediately sees the resemblance of a familiar face; the resemblance of the face that she has been spending minutes of each day tracing her finger on every wrinkle and every line on her face. "I'm Doctor Karishma Singh. I believe you're looking for me?"
"I think there might be some sort of a misunderstanding here, doctor." The partial grey hair man takes a deep breath before restarting his explanation again for the fourth time. He is about to be out of patience but being out of patience will lead to no answers he needs. "I've tried to contact my daughter but I couldn't get ahold of her but I know that she recently got married and I got a name of her partner here. But I think they probably got me the wrong name or something... Listen, my daughter is..."
"Haseena Malik." Karishma interrupts with something that makes the man smiles with satisfaction. "You're Mr. Malik?"
"Yes. Yes. Wait. You're also a Singh, aren't you? So she is like your sister-in-law or something?"
"Hm." Karishma doesn't really know how to go on with that. Since Haseena hasn't talked to her own father for years or talked about him at all, she doesn't know what she can reveal to him or how much she can reveal to him. "I'll call her and I'll see if she can stop by."
"Thank you." The man says politely to Karishma. "Finally, someone with brains."
Haseena is in screening in the meeting room with Lauren right by her. Her eyes are on the screen watching the editing footage that has been done by a new guy on her team. Her thumb spins her wedding ring on her ring finger and pushes it on and off half way of her finger. Lauren glances at the scene and suddenly feels weird. Haseena has always been someone who is difficult to read but out of the blue, everything is written on her like a tattoo that cannot be hidden under a sleeve. She moves her sight away but the feelings still haunt her.
Then, Haseena's phone that is now used as a paperweight buzzes lightly and the light glows showing a message notification. Lauren glances. Haseena glances. Lauren sees a heart emoji by the sender's name and she can immediately guess. Haseena reaches for the phone and puts it upside down.
"Normally, you reply right away." Lauren whispers so low that it almost slips past Haseena's ears.
Haseena leans a bit closer while her eyes are still on the screen. "Normality can change when we're in a meeting. And this is an important one."
"Okay." Lauren decides to agree with the statement although she disagrees and immediately spots the differences.
Haseena stays leaning on one side of the armrest the rest of the screening and when it is over and the light is turned back on, she leans towards with a pen in her hand and a polite smile on her face. "Head of production?"
"I quite like it. It goes as the brief. The transition. Probably needs a bit on the sound, you think? But that is for the sound people." The man who Haseena refers as 'head of production' reads his notes. "What do you think, Haseena? I mean, you're the expert on this."
"Hm, excuse me." Haseena is about to start reading her notes when her phone doesn't stop buzzing and a text has turned into calls; a lot of calls. "I have to take this. We'll start with Lauren then."
"Okay." Lauren responds while Haseena leaves the room with her phone.
"Hi." Haseena closes the meeting room glass door behind her while answering the phone. "I'm in a meeting. Can I call you back in an hour?"
"Your dad is here and I don't know what to do." Karishma whispers with such a panic in her voice and that voice of hers immediately knocks Haseena to the ground. Karishma rarely sounds like this and now she is worried to the point that she doesn't know what to do. "He's looking for your husband."
"My dad?" Haseena can't keep up and she is still on the first part of the conversation when Karishma is about to lead her into the third.
"What do you want me to tell him? From what I've seen, telling him that I'm your wife is not a good option here. For now, at least."
Haseena rubs her temples and glances back into the meeting room. "I'll be there in 30 minutes. Just tell him to stay put."
"Okay." Karishma responds. "I love you."
"I love you too." Haseena smiles lightly to the statement. It is something that cures her miserable soul at least for a little while Haseena goes back into the meeting room and sits back down on the chair next to Lauren. Lauren is still going down her notes of things that she has to say about the screening. Haseena adds a note onto hers and passes it to Lauren.
'Something comes up. I have to leave.'
"No." Lauren whispers once she sees the note.
"I'm so sorry, everyone. I have a family emergency. I have to leave but I'll have Lauren read my notes and I'll come back to catch up with everything and brief you on the right track again. I'm so sorry."
"Haseena, this screening is important." The head of production says. He leans forwards and tries to emphasize the authority that he has over Haseena. "You'll get in trouble for this."
"I'm sorry but I have to leave."
Haseena rushes her way to the hospital with the thought that she needs to save Karishma from this man she once called dad. She doesn't rush her way to see him because she is happy to see him. Happiness will never in the sentence with her and her dad sharing a place as the subject.
As she arrives, her old man; tall, grey hair, miserable-looking, is sitting on a bench near the main ED entrance with Karishma sitting with him. They are talking about something that Haseena is too far away to hear but that something makes her old man smile and Karishma chuckles a little. She takes leaps towards them. Once Karishma sees her wife, she gets up on her feet; thankful for her appearance.
"Hey." Haseena greets Karishma first and her eyes are only on her. She smiles while wrapping her arm around Karishma's wrist and kissing on Karishma's cheek. Then, she whispers to her ear so low. "I'm sorry you have to go through this."
"Haseena!" The old man greets with a smile.
"This is my wife." Haseena says but not really look at him. She just drops a bomb and doesn't really care if he can take it or not. "Now that you know. Please come with me. She has lives to save."
"Hold up. Hold up." The old man says with his both hands up as if he is trying to protect himself from the information Haseena has just thrown at him. "Your wife? That's funny."
"Go back inside. I'll handle this." Haseena whispers to Karishma with a faded smile. She can't handle this but she doesn't want Karishma to go through this shit again. This is going to be a million times worse than what happened with mom. "Don't worry."
"Since when that you're into girls."
"Since when that you care." Haseena responds like a rapid fire. "Come with me. Let her be."
Haseena walks past the old man and gestures him to follow. They need a place to talk and this is not it. Haseena can still feel Karishma's worried eyes on her but then a few seconds later, her beeper sends an alarm signal that gives her no choice but to take them away from Haseena.
The old man Malik mumbles something all the way to Han's. It is a long walk but Haseena doesn't want to take a cab. She doesn't want to be locked into a space with the man or even breathe the same air with him. She hears him. She hears him mumbling something; mostly about her life choices.
When they get to Han, they sit at a table near the counter. Haseena nods a little for Han to know that they don't really need food or any services. They just need a little time alone for a bit and Han picks that up quite quickly. He can sense the heaviness of the atmosphere Haseena has carried in. Although he doesn't know the man who comes with her, he already feels some negativities towards him.
"What do you want?" Haseena asks after they sit there for a while.
"A cup of coffee, maybe. This diner is not the best one, I can say." The old man says and soon after, Han appears with a cup placing down on the table quite harshly and loudly before pouring his signature crappy coffee in. "Thanks."
"From me. What do you want from me?"
"I just want to see you. People who get out of jail want to see their family. That's normal." He sips his coffee casually. "And I want some money to get my life together for a bit while waiting for this nonsense trial."
"I don't have money."
The man chuckles sarcastically. "Of course, with your dead-end job, of course you have no money. Doesn't your doctor 'wife' make fortune?"
"No, she doesn't." Haseena is best at being patient and she has got to use that ability now. "And you have no rights to ask her for money."
"I still find it hard to believe that that doctor married you. I mean. I get it. It's 2023 and everyone can be a le..."
"From now on, if you want to have a conversation with me or my wife, please do that through my lawyer."
"I'm your dad."
"Oh so you're my dad now? Like what? Once every four years or so? Are you also the Olympics?"
"Every time I see you, nothing's changed. Your life is still as fucked up as I've always thought it would be. You've tried to act smart and all..."
"You need to leave." Han puts the coffee pot on the table to interrupt the conversation and says in an intimidating way. "Or I'll call police."
"To arrest me on what ground? This is a
father-daughter conversation. Who are you?"
"I'm a very good friend of a detective. I'm sure he can find a suitable ground for you, dirt bag." Han grabs the old man Malik by the arm and drags him all the way to the door. "And I'm practically Haseena's sometimes dad. So. Leave."
The old man yanks his arm back and adjusts his shirt with anger boiling within him. "Get your hand off of me. Fine. Who do you all think you are? Just a bunch of losers. One is an immigrant and one is a lesbo. Good job, dream team."
"Leave!" Han repeats himself and the old man Malik bursts out the door.
Haseena sits there without saying anything or moving an inch. She lets those words get to her like she always has. The sense of failure and the sense of not being good enough start to eat her alive. Her eyes are on the coffee pot on the table and slowly moves to Han who sits across from her; in place of her own father. He looks at her with the gentlest eyes and it takes him awhile to find the right word.
"Do you need to call Kevin? Alice? Or Karishma?" Han suggests. He knows although he is proud himself as Haseena's sometimes dad, he has nothing compare to the gang of hers. He can only be the cook that the gang respects.
"No." Haseena whispers with a bit of a smile. "That's fine. I'll just need to sit here for a bit."
"Okay." Han nods and stands up to leave. He grabs his coffee pot and grabs Haseena's shoulder gently. "You're a great kid."
"Thank you, Han."
And her phone rings. It's from Karishma again. Haseena takes a deep breath and tries to sound as normal as she can. She tries to sound like she deserves her.
"Hey." Haseena answers the phone. She puts a smile on while her eyes are filled with tears.
"Hey." Karishma responds whispery. "How are things with your dad?"
"He's left." Haseena skips all the troubles and pains to the end results. "So it's good now."
"Ah. About our date." Karishma begins with the sound of hesitance. She knows this date is important. She knows this date will revive the fun part of their marriage but she is about to kill it. "I have a patient... It's just... He is in surgery and I want to make sure that he's okay."
"Of course." Haseena responds. "We still have plenty of time for our date."
"So see you at home?"
"Yeah, see you at home."
"I love you."
"I love you."
Karishma is still in her scrub and white coat although her shift has ended for an hour now; although Jack tried to convince her that it is not her fault. She is still sitting at the surgery waiting room with her head rest back to the wall behind her and both of her hands stay secured in the pockets. No one is around her. Chris's family is flying in from Wisconsin so they would be here in a couple of hours. Chris's ex-wife was here and has left home to get some clothes. So now there is just her and the silence that is about to be killed.
"Hey." A familiar voice greets her.
"Haseena. What are you doing here?" Karishma looks at her wife move through the waiting area and lands on the chair next to her. She puts her backpack down and shows her a burger bag.
"You sounded off." Haseena begins and leans back into the uncomfortable chair. "I don't want you to go through whatever it is alone."
Karishma looks at Haseena and starts to feel overwhelm by her presence. She doesn't have to be here but she is here like always. She tries to speak with a huge lump in her throat. "I almost killed him."
"Karishma." Haseena sits back up again when she sees Karishma is about to cry and her voice starts to shake.
"If I had sent him to CT a few minutes faster, this surgery wouldn't have been this complicated. Instead, I spent all those precious time talking to him. I shouldn't have been chitchatting with a patient with a head injury." Karishma lets it all out; all thoughts and tears. She is beating herself up and all Haseena wants to do is to take all the beating.
Haseena leans towards Karishma and cups her face into her hands. "Karishma. He will be fine. I'm sure you did everything you could at that moment. You are a good doctor. You did what should have been done."
"I should have done better." Karishma whispers as she holds on to Haseena's hands that are on her cheeks. "I'm a ED doctor, Haseena. I should have done better."
Haseena kisses her teary eye and her forehead. "You've done great."
Karishma doesn't respond. She holds on to Haseena and tries to control her tears while Haseena rests her forehead onto hers to comfort her.
"Everything will be ok."