Knotted in Love

Part 10

Haseena is lying on the couch of her old apartment when Alice walks out of her bedroom in her robe and sleepy eyes. It is not that early but Alice had a long night. She is working on a new TV show and since the show sets in the 1800s, the details and the artworks are enormous. Alice sees it as a good thing for her. It keeps her mind occupy so she doesn’t have to think about or of anyone else.

“You’re not dating that guy from Hans anymore? What is his name again?” Haseena asks as she makes room for Alice to sit down at one end of the couch. She is now lying awkwardly with her feet touching the floor and her upper body remaining on the couch.

“I didn’t call him back after that dinner. I don’t know. He was a bit...” Alice grabs Haseena’s glasses from the coffee table and hands them over so that she can stretch her legs. “Not really my type.”

“It’s easier, isn’t it?” Haseena mumbles as she closes her eyes while holding on to the glasses on her chest. She can feel that her heart is still beating but it hasn’t felt like it for a couple of days. It has been hard to feel anything lately. Her mind is locked and the things that are locked in are not the good ones.

“What is?”

Haseena doesn’t say anything but a glance that is passed over to Alice gives her chill. She knows the look and it has just confirmed what Kevin told her; Haseena is about to go down that path again and she will destroy something along the way.

“Nothing is easy or easier or easiest.” Alice disagrees while observing how her best friend is doing. This is a rock-bottom or at least something close to it. The problem with Haseena being in this state is that no one can help her and she doesn’t need help. She will stand still in the deep dark well for a while and all they can ever do is to look and pat her on the back when she decides to emerge to the ground. “Why did you end up here? You’re not going to work?”

“I walked Karishma to the hospital, took the train halfway and decided that I didn’t want to go.” Haseena explains her morning activity as she sits up on the couch and puts her glasses on. Something is on her mind and putting the glasses back on doesn’t make it any clearer. “I also did your grocery.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know.”

“How long will you be mad at Karishma?” Alice takes her chance and tries to resolve this situation.

“I’m not mad.” Haseena answers with a big long sigh. She closes her eyes and rubs her finger between her eyebrows gently. They don’t talk properly anymore although their routines are pretty much as they always are.

“She has done nothing wrong. It is not her fault for being concerned of her wife.” Alice turns to face Haseena. She needs her next sentence to hit Haseena right in the face. “She is your family now. Things can be different.”

“I don’t want to talk about this.”

“It’s easier, isn’t it?” Alice repeats Haseena’s word and that gets Haseena to look at her best friend. She knows she shouldn’t push but the thing Haseena is about to destroy will eventually tear her in pieces. “To not talk about this and hope it disappear. But you know right from the start, Haseena. That’s not Karishma. She won’t allow it. I told you. She would fight a dragon for you. She won’t look away.”

“Yeah.” Haseena looks at her hands and focuses on her wedding ring. “I know she’s done nothing wrong. It’s me.”

“Dude."

“Alice.” Haseena’s voice turns cold and serious. “We know this will never stop. It will just... pause for a while. No one deserves to go through this shit. She will constantly have to fight him for me?”