Alone in the stark reminder of the altercation, Madeleine traces the scars on her arm, a chilling reminder of her past life where her only chance of survival was to embrace the looming darkness in her life.
Her fingers move softly over the grotesque marks in her skin, each mark was a silent witness to a painful past she could never escape before she learned to take control over her own fate.
The marks on her skin no longer send shivers down her spine or have a hold on her, but when her fingers find the name carved on her right arm, a name corroded into her skin like a brand. She hisses at the sensation, not just physically, but the torment which resurfaces with the weight of the memories and searing heartache that led to the permanent mark.
Madeleine's mind drifts, thoughts meandering through memories of a time before the world unraveled. She shuts her eyes with such a force, attempting to hold back the overwhelming flooding of emotions which threaten to break her shield.
The scars ran deeper than just the physical wounds; they were wounds of the heart, wounds that were slow to heal or never meant to.
For a moment, she allows herself to feel all of the pain, to acknowledge the darkness which ignited her fire. The constant battle between the scars of her past which made her ready for the present undead world.
The echoes of footsteps gradually increase, causing for the women to let out a deep breath and push all unwanted thoughts away. Carol walks inside her tent, shooting a smile at Madeleine, a plate of fresh fish on her hand.
Madeleine stares back at her, the older women handing the plate over to her. She watches Madeleine take a bite of her food, an overwhelming emotion overtaking her at the sight of the black eye on Madeleine's face.
Carol places her hand on top of hers. "Thank you, Mads."
"I was going to say I'm sorry, but I'm not. I know you love him despite it all. It's hard, but it'll make you stronger the day you walk away. And seeing you hold your head up will make your girl strong." Madeleine insists, causing for Carol to play with her fingers as she looks down at her hands.
"You didn't have to step up for me. I'm used to it."
Madeleine shakes her head, a genuine gentle expression filling her, reaching up to squeeze Carol's shoulder. "You don't need to understand, but I had to."
Carol nods her head, wiping away a few tears gathering to fall down her eyes. "Lori is worried about you. The whole camp has heard what happened."
"Great." She mutters under her breath, placing the plate to the side, running a hand through her hair when she takes the moment to look up with a sigh.
"I'll tell her you want some rest." Carol mentions, the younger women appreciating the respect for the space she needs for herself.
"Thank you."
All of the sudden Carl enters the tent running, unsettling the women who stand up and Madeleine grabs her weapon, but relief washes over when he speaks.
"I just came to see you." Carl mutters, Madeleine reposing and putting her weapon down, Carol heading off to give the Grimes siblings space.
Carl acknowledges the bruise on her face which is unavoidable, having heard as the rest of the camp about the incident which took place, but he chooses not to nag her about it.
"Mads."
"Carls." She teases, the younger Grimes sitting down with her and he giggles at the nickname.
"Can you teach me how to hunt? I want to be as good as you." He indicates to the knife next to her sleeping bed, the women raising her eyebrows at his words.
"The bow and arrow wasn't enough?"
He shakes his head. "I don't think I'll ever be good at it."
"You will!" She utters with determination, wanting to ensure her brother learns enough to know how to fend for himself due to the irrational fear she won't be around him for eternity in the new world. "You need practise. A lot of it."
She knows she has to keep moving forward, to focus on the present and keep her brother safe who still needs her, however the uncertainty of what awaits for them in the future leaves her uneasy if she doesn't teach her brother enough to give her a slight slice of peace.
"How'd you learn to fight? The way you took down Daryl the other day was funny." Carl wonders, laying his head on her lap, the women gently brushing her finger's through his hair.
"When I was away all of those years, I learned to kick a lot of butts." She brags, the boy turning in her lap to stare up at her face.
"Is that how you got the scar? Why you didn't come to see me after you left? Why did you stop sending me letters?" He blurts out, having grown out of accepting her short excuses to leaving him behind and disappearing from his life when he needed her around.
"I couldn't, Carl." Madeleine adverts her gaze from his intense stare on her scar, unwanted attention on her scar always left Madeleine uncomfortable and self-conscious. She knew it was a visible reminder of her painful past, a past she tried hard to keep hidden from those she cared about, especially her brother. She had never revealed to him how she got the scar, the truth too dark and raw to share. "A lot was happening that forced me to stay away."
Whenever someone's gaze lingered on the scar, she felt a mix of emotions—shame and anger. Shame for the circumstances that had led to the scar, anger at herself for allowing it to happen in the first place. The scar was a constant reminder of the brutality of the world she had lived in.
"Why didn't you come back home?"
"I couldn't come back to you. I'm sorry if it felt like I abandoned you, I'm sorry I didn't call or write after a while. I just had to move around a lot." She answers, desperately wanting to be the strong and protective, shielding him from the harsh realities she had experienced.
"Why?" He presses on.
"It's just how life goes sometimes, Carl, things just happen." She looks down at him, remaining her action of brushing her fingers through his hair. "I want you to know if I could, I would've came back for you."
"You were mad at them, I get it. I just don't get why you had to be away for so long, without sending me more letters. You should've tried to come home sooner." He pleads, his voice sore from the pain of her leaving still affecting him as he fears he'll lose her again.
"I know, tiny pea." She leans down, kissing the top of his head. "Adult life is just more complicated than it seems."
"It seems pretty easy, adults just complicate it. When I'm your age, I'm going to show you how easy it is." Carl argues back, his older sister breaking a genuine smile.
"I can't wait."
In these vulnerable moments, when the scar of her disappearance and abandonment was exposed and attention was drawn to it, Madeleine would feel a sharp stab to her heart, determined not to reminisce the pain of abandonment she brought to her younger brother.
"Just a year ago, things were different. Not in a good way. Is that bad?" He speaks with his voice barely above a whisper.
She shakes her head. "Not at all."
Carl locks eyes with her, an admiration glance swimming in his eyes at the sight of her. "I missed you."
"I missed you, too."
"I wish you and dad never got mad at each other. I used to be mad at him for letting you go." She takes in his words, the pang in her heart throbbing. "Are you still mad at him?"
"Yeah, I am." She states, swallowing the lump in her throat.
"I think you should forgive him." His words slightly take her back, despite her knowledge of the way their actions affected the young boy. "We thought he was dead, and I know deep down you were sad, you just didn't want to admit it. You were given the chance to forgive him, I think you should take it."
"Maybe, someday, but even after all these years...." She trails off, noticing the hurt in his eyes.
"He was protecting you." He argues back.
Madeleine shakes her head, the boy seating up and facing her. "No, they were protecting themselves. So, it hurts all the same, Carls." She stands up from the sleeping bed, urging him to follow her. "Come on." She quickly deflects, urging the change the subject to avoid the conversation she is not ready to have.
"Where?"
"We're going hunting. Go tell your mother and meet me back here." She demands, picking up her bow and arrows, placing it on her back as he brother rushes out to tell Lori.
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The Grime siblings venture into the wilderness, the crisp air and rustling leaves creating a sense of normalcy in the otherwise chaotic world they inhabit. Madeleine had a dual purpose for this outing: to teach Carl some valuable skills but, most importantly, to spend lost time with her little brother.
"Why did everyone seem worried back at the camp?" Madeleine breaks the silence, having noticed the gloomy sense around the camp.
Carl shrugs, his young face reflecting the innocence that Madeleine was determined to protect. "Jim was just acting weird."
Madeleine furrows her eyebrows, her protective instincts kicking in. "Weird, how?"
"He was just digging."
"Why?" She presses for answers.
"I don't know, but he wasn't stopping. Shane had to take him down, they tied him up to a tree." He replies as they continue with their walk, a sense of unease settling in Madeleine's heart.
She couldn't help but wonder what might have caused Jim's strange behaviour, causing for her to seek for more answers. "Did he hurt you?"
He shakes his head. "No, he was just digging."
"He starts acting weird again, especially around you, come to me." Madeleine demands, Carl nodding, his eyes reflecting the trust he had in his older sister.
In this moment, amidst the uncertainty and fear, they were building a bond that would help them navigate the challenges of their past, the joy of simply mindlessly walking through the woods, being slight calmness for both of them.
"Look! A squirrel." Carl's voice holds an element of joy as he pointed out the animal, his youthful enthusiasm cutting through the tension of their surroundings.
She hands her bow to him, showing her trust and confidence in his ability. Madeleine had spent years perfecting her skills with all the weapons and tuning her survival instincts, and now it was time to pass some of that knowledge on to her brother.
"Remember what I taught you. Steady your aim, breathe, and release when you're ready."
Carl nods, his focus unwavering as he took aim at the squirrel. His small hands grips the bow, and he imitates Madeleine's stance as best as he can. With a deep breath, he releases the arrow. It flies through the air, hitting the side of it. The squirrel runs away, and Carl's eyes dim down with a mixture of disappointment and frustration.
"You can't give up. It's your first moving target, it requires more concentration." She stands behind him, kicking his feet apart and straightening his back, her hands glued on his shoulder. "You can't tense up. When you breathe out, relax your posture."
"I can't seem to remember to do it all." Carl's frustration was evident as he pouts, his young face clouded with uncertainty.
She steadily places a reassuring hand on both of his shoulder, offering comfort and encouragement. "You'll see, one day, you'll be out here with me, and those squirrels won't stand a chance."
Madeleine taps his shoulder, indicating for him to follow behind her. The both of them continued to soared through the woods, appreciating the beam of light through the trees which led their path.
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As nightfall descends upon them, they make their way back to camp, Madeleine's reluctance to face the others intensified. The bruise on her eye made her want to keep avoiding the prying questions and concerned glances.
She had been successful in keeping to herself ever since it happened, hoping to slip back into her tent unnoticed. However, her brother Carl, tugs at her shirt, urging her to join the group gathered around the campfire.
Carl's innocent yet insistent request pulled at her heartstrings. With a sigh, Madeleine gives in and follows Carl to the campfire, seating herself next to Carl who chooses his place by Sophia and Carol.
The older women hands her the plate of food with a smile, seeming genuinely happy the younger women decided to join them.
"So, entertain us, Lori... how'd you meet Rick?" Andrea speaks up with a slight smirk on the corner of her lips, the group adverting their eyes to Lori, whilst Madeleine rolls hers.
"I don't need to be putting anyone to sleep." Lori awkwardly replies, continuing to eat her fish.
"C'mon... I could use some entertainment." Amy insists, shooting her a small smile.
"Alright... but I warned you. Rick's brother, Jeff, is my age. I'm two years younger than Rick. I met his brother senior year of high school."
Andrea interrupts her with a amusing grin. "It started with the brother?"
"It's nothing like that." Lori shakes her head with a chuckle, Madeleine glancing down at her feet as she eats her food. "Jeff invited me to a New Year's party. Apparently, Rick had been made chaperone by their parents, who were attending a party elsewhere. He was in college at this point... everything about him was interesting. I hung onto everything he was telling me, at that time both of us were heartbroken and lonely. We really just hit it off." Lori smiles at the memories the two of them shared, her smile dropping at the thought of him out there. "We kept in touch after that and I supported him, we got serious eventually, and-." She looks over at Madeleine which doesn't go unnoticed by any of them. "We got married after that and not long after we had Carl."
"I gotta say, you two look good together." Carol grins, Lori shooting a smile back at her.
Morales clears his throat, indicating over to Dale who keeps turning his watch's handles as if he's tracking time. "I've got to ask you, man. It's been driving me crazy."
"What? You want to know about my past?" Dale jokes with a chuckle, a smile breaking on his face.
"That watch."
Dale furrows his eyebrows. "What's wrong with my watch?"
"I see you every day, the same time, winding that thing like a village priest saying mass." Morales points out, the group watching Dale.
"I've wondered this myself." Jacqui joins in.
"I'm missing the point." Dale states, the confused expression not leaving his face.
"Unless I've misread the signs, the world seems to have come to an end. At least hit a speed bump for a good long while." Jacqui observes with a raise eyebrow of curiosity.
"But there's you every day winding that stupid watch." Morales concludes, wrapping an arm around his wife.
"Time... it's important to keep track, isn't it? The days at least. Don't you think, Andrea? Back me up here." Andre holds her hands up in defence at his words. "I like... I like what, um, a father said to son when he gave him a watch that had been handed down through generations. He said, "I give you the mausoleum of all hope and desire, which will fit your individual needs no better than it did mine or my father's before me; I give it to you not that you may remember time, but that you may forget it for a moment now and then and not spend all of your breath trying to conquer it."" He proudly tells them, his eyes glancing around the group.
Amy bursts out into a small fit of laughter. "You are so weird."
"It's not me. It's Faulkner. William Faulkner. Maybe my bad paraphrasing."
Amy shakes her head, getting up from the campfire, her sister following her with her eyes in sudden worry.
"Where are you going?"
"I have to pee. Jeez, you try to be discreet around here." Amy replies in slight embarrassment, a few people around the group laughing as she makes her way to the RV.
"Come on, Mads." Andrea starts, Madeleine snapping her eyes over to her with an arched eyebrow at the sudden fall out. "Why don't you share one of your war stories? How'd you get the scar?"
Madeleine stares at her with a darken expression, everyone around them growing uncomfortable as Andrea looks down in defence, not being able to gaze back at the intense stare coming from her. Madeleine scoffs, going back to eating her food without even caring to listen to the rest of their conversation.
Amy comes out of the RV, holding the door open as she stands there with an annoyed look. "We're out of toilet paper?"
A sudden scream of agony travels through the air, Madeleine standing up and forcing Carl behind her, grabbing her bow and not hesitating to grab an arrow and shoot Amy's way. The walker takes a bite out of Amy's arm before an arrow piercing through its head and the walker falls to the ground.
"Mom!" Carl screams out, his sister grabbing another arrow and shooting at a walker, shoving Carl toward his mother.
"Lori, stay with him and find Shane!" She demands, noticing from the corner of her eyes, Shane grabs his gun and shoots several walkers with it.
Madeleine takes a few step toward a walker, hitting it with her bow before grabbing her knife and stabbing it through its skull. When she makes a move to grab another arrow, a walker approaches her from behind and the women turns around in time to block it with her bow.
Various gunshots break through the camp, the women shoving the walker back before grabbing her knife and killing it. She doesn't pay attention as the group made it back from their trip, Madeleine grabbing another arrow and shooting at a walker getting closer to Carol.
Daryl notices her and the strange figure behind her, not hesitating from shooting his crossbow at the walker behind her, the women busy with killing the walkers in front of her, she only seems to notice the dead walker when it drops to the ground.
Madeleine and Daryl lock eyes with each other, the man grabbing the arrow as she stares at him.
"I had it." She retorts at him.
Daryl scoffs, "Seemed like it."
She kills another walker approaching them and they remain back to back to each other, killing a few more walkers before they face each other again. More gunshots ring through the camp as the walkers come from every direction, the camp attempting to shield each other.
Daryl mentions to her eye. "Who did that?"
"Duck." She throws a knife at a walker who nearly got to him, he keeps his eyes on her as she retrieves her knife, noticing Ed was the walker she killed. "Karma is a bitch." She spits at the body, walking over to her brother.
The whole camp manages to kill all of the walkers, Glenn approaching the women and he seems slightly freaked out by the attack on their camp which left death looming around.
"It's alright, they're all dead." She reassures him, placing an arm around her brother to keep him close to her side.
Glenn shakes his head. "Amy."
They both look over at Andrea hovering over her sister who soon will turn and be just like the others they have just killed, Madeleine shrugs her shoulders at his words with her knife on her other hand.
"Amy!" Andrea wails, holding onto her sister's bloody body.
"Not everyone gets to live anymore. We're the ones who lived. Survival of the fittest." She makes a move to walk over to Amy, but Glenn holds her back causing for her to hiss and point the knife at his throat.
Glenn throws his hands up at her deadly glare. "Sorry!"
Madeleine adverts her eyes around the group at the campfire, she can't help but notice the tension in the air. Rick stands by Lori, and Carl is in his arms, trembling with fear. The distress in her little brother's eyes tugged at her heartstrings, which matches Rick's concerned expression at the sight of his daughter.
She looks away, her gaze landing on Carol and her child, who stood nearby, seeking comfort and safety. Madeleine sighs, shaking her head as she heads away which confuses the group.
"Where are you going, Mads?" Glenn frowns, the women not replying as they watch her back disappear when she enters her tent.
"I remember the dream now," Jim announces, the fear further settling in when they look at the man, who seems shaken up by the walker's attack, "why I dug the holes."
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I really enjoyed writing this chapter!
The scene with Carl and Madeleine, demonstrating their bond and slightly see a bit of her backstory was really exciting.
Thank you for reading ❤️