[ C H A P T E R 28 ]
LATISHA VALENTINE
Ramdam na ramdam ko ang hapdi ng aking mga palad dahil sa higpit ng pagyukom ng aking mga kamao. Hindi lang ang galit ang aking pinipigilian kundi lahat-lahat na. I can hear my daughter's little voice shaking as she calls my name, drawing my attention to her.
I can't hurt Annika.
It was that thought that let my immorality dissipate. Humugot na lamang ako ng malalim na hininga para kumalma. I didn't know Nethys would finish his tea, nor calculate how much anger mutilated in a span of minutes.
Mabibigat ang aking mga hakbang na may kasamang bilis akong umalis. I didn't hear anything from them, except the soft cry of my afraid daughter. Diretso akong pumasok sa loob at nilandas ang aking kwarto.
"Rage should not be ruling, your grace—"
"I don't need your opinion right now, Napoleon," I cut the words of the Lord of the State as he joined me at my pace. I'm in haste, yet he is trying to make things worse.
"May pasabi-sabi ka pa na may tiwala ka sa duke, bakit parang ngayon gusto mong manlapa ng tao?" agad siyang bumawi dahilan para matigil ako sa paglalakad at hinarap ito. His arms were crossed as he looked at me with both curiosity and guard.
I heaved a deep sigh. "Anong kailangan mo?" I asked.
"Kumalma ka," tanging sagot niya. Agad naman nagsitaasan ang mga kilay ko na siyang agad nitong naiintindihan. He slowly shook his head as if he was disapproving of something. "It is true that there is an ongoing turmoil inside the State of Edinburgh. I am the Lord, so trust me when I say that," he continued.
"And what's the point of saying this?" I asked. I could feel my senses relaxed, but it wasn't Napoleon who managed to deplete my rage.
A tune. A zither is playing nearby.
"My point, your grace. The election is in a month, of course there is war. Kasali na din sa mga nanggugulo ang lahi mo. They are using this election to win favor from other Lords and in the peerage. So, there is no point for you to get angry with. Kung tinago man ito ng lahat, iyon ay dahil sa ikabubuti ng pagbubuntis mo," salaysay niya.
Naririnig ko lahat ng sinasabi ni Napoleon, pero ang buong atensyon ko ay hinahanap ang pinagmulan ng tugtugin. It feels close, like it resonates within the walls of the corridors, or underneath the carpet, or even tracing the designs of the ceiling. It's everywhere.
"Can you hear that?" I said, roaming my eyes around the house. I'm trying to find the root of the vibration. Dumaan pa ang pagkunot ng noon ni Napoleon dahil sa sinabi ko. Itinigil ko ang aking paningin sa kanya. "Gaano kalala ang nangyayari ngayon? Sa puntong ito, wala ka ng dahilan para itago pa sa akin," saad ko.
I know he can't hear it, so I disregard the thought and focus on not exposing my inner fright. I am scared because the last time this happened, it didn't result in a good conversation with that Prince. Kailangan ko siyang makausap ng masinsinan.
"Just like in every election that happened, this one is not particularly different," he replied. Binulsa nito ang kanyang mga kamay habang nakatingin sa akin. "I won't be here if I am safe out there. Out of twelve politicians who ran for candidacy, seven remained alive. Your clan, along with those who ordered for their kill are aiming for a position."
"Are the people oppressed?" I asked. My voice was laden with worry and fear. I was seeking answers in his eyes while trying to win my consciousness that is slowly drifting away. "Tell me, Lord of the State, do the people of Edinburgh still have their freedom to choose which Lord would run the entire land?"
Napoleon smiled. "Edinburgh is founded by the late Duke of Reidensteigh, and by that clause, everyone will always listen to the man who carries that blood," he replied.
That was the last thing I remembered before my subconscious slid into darkness. It was a little while before my eyes welcomed the same place that the Prince of Hashire showed me when I first talked to him.
"I know you're here," I uttered while looking around the spacious place, only filled with white accents and thin flowing curtains. "I need to talk to you," I continued.
"Sinadya mong magalit." May biglang nagsalita sa likod ko kaya't agad kong hinarap ito, subalit tanging hangin lang ang tumambad sa akin. "You found out that when you are overly exerting emotions, I will come out," he continued.
"Annika can see you," I uttered. "That child—"
"A Reidensteigh," he cut me off. I can feel him, but I can't see him. His voice is like a wind, passing through my ears. "But also has the blood of something else. A half-blooded being, with dormant power unknown to all— except to the person who killed her in the past."
"She died of cold weather," I uttered firmly. Ramdam ko naman na ako tinutukoy niya. "Show yourself, I need to know if I can trust you," dagdag ko.
"She died because you let her," he uttered. Halos mahilo na ako kakagalaw at kakasunod sa kung saan ko siya naririnig. "You already know why the Emperor ordered Annabelle's execution. He even ordered to kill the child along with her, but someone convinced him to pardon the child."
"Hindi ito ang gusto kong pag-usapan!" asik ko. My heart pounded rapidly as if it wanted to go out of my chest. My entire being is in chaos, trying to collect all my sanity that has been taken away the moment I landed here again.
"You suggested her execution," Prince Raphael's voice resonated just right in my ear. He was so close that made me gasped and in fright, I took a step away.
"I was forced," I replied. "I needed to, so that my father would make his way to convince the Emperor to give me a place for the Duchess Selection!" I continued.
"Of course, you didn't have a choice back then," he instantly countered. Lumalayo at lumalapit ang boses niya. He is not showing himself for who knows why. "What would the duke's reaction be if he knew you were the one who killed her?"
Halos hindi ko na maramdaman na humihinga pa ba ako o hindi. Hearing him made my mind flash a few memories I've been trying to forget. I admit I did a lot of things just to get to where I am, and I am repenting these sins. Why must he bring that up?
"Anong kailangan mo sa akin?!" asik ko.
"One of your children, Duchess. That exchange is not voidable," he uttered with a firm voice close to my side.
"You will never have any of my children," I uttered firmly. My eyes darted at the space, finding him even if I'm wasting energy trying. "Whatever your purpose in this story, I won't let you have what you wanted. I won't let you all control me," I continued.
"No one is controlling you, other than yourself, Latisha...Laviene," he whispered to the wind. It was his last words before the space turned dark again.
Why did he call me Laviene?
~~~***•••***~~~
"Your Grace, you need to stop."
I hear the same exact words fourteen times in a row from Erwan who's been expressing his distress looking at me. Hindi ko na siya pinansin at patuloy sa pagbabasa ng mga dokumento. It feels like deja vu, ganito din kami ni Erwan simula ng bumalik ako galing sa hinaharap.
"Your grace—"
"Tumahimik ka," putol ko sa kung ano man ang sasabihin niya. I glance at him for a few seconds before going back to reading. "My daughter's birthday is tomorrow, and I haven't finished reading the accounts. This should be the duke's duty but my husband is away. It is my very role to finish accounting on his behalf, so please, just help Sir Hasan and Nethys regarding the reception of my daughter's big day."
"But Madame, nakakasama sa buntis ang ginagawa mo. You should be resting, lalo pa at parang hindi ka ata natutulog at kumakain ng maayos," saad niya. Ramdam ko naman ang pag-aalala nito kaya binaba ko ang hawak na manulat at dinapuan siya ng tingin.
"I am fine, kumain na ako kanina," sagot ko. I rested my back on the chair and closed my eyes. "I know my body well, Erwan. Hindi naman ako pabayang ina. I prioritize my body very well, and wala pa ngang isang oras akong nakaupo dito, putak ka na ng putak," natatawang saad ko.
"Ayokong mamatay ng maaga, Madame," sagot niya.
My eyes opened. "Huwag ka magsumbong," saad ko sabay taboy sa kanya. "Get out, I'll follow you later."
He was reluctant to go but I gave him a glare. Napagusapan na namin ang nangyari noong nakaraang araw kaya bumalik sa dati ang pakikitungo namin sa isa't isa.
I admit I got angry, but it wasn't their entire fault if the duke wanted to hide how bad the situation is from me. Naiintindihan ko naman kaya hindi ko na pinalaki.
Napabuntong hininga na lamang ako muli bago dumulas ang tingin ko sa nakasakit na lawaran namin ng aking asawa. That wedding photo was the first and only one painting we had. Kailangan kaya kami magkakaroon ng bago? Probably right after I gave birth?
My eyes settled on my own face on the portrait for so long. I could still remember what I felt during that day it was created, and until now it made my lips curved into a smile.
"Latisha Valentine," bulong ko sa aking sarili habang nakahawak sa aking tiyan ang dalawa kong mga kamay. "The only Duchess of Reidensteigh, the only one."
Walang aangkin, walang magtatangka. Hangga't nabubuhay ako, mananatiling nasa akin ang trono. Ako pa rin ang nangunguna sa laban, at kahit sino man sa kanila, hinding-hindi ko hahayaan na may magwagi, maliban sa akin.
"Do you think his grace and the troops will arrive before Annika blows her birthday candles?" I asked the person who had been in the room the moment Erwan left. My cousin who has been so good at tricking people every time he goes into the mansion, goes unnoticed.
"My intel guaranteed their arrival before sunset tomorrow," Magnus uttered. Nakasandal siya sa pader habang nakakrus ang kanyang mga braso. "I talked once to Blessime via the crow. Tama ang hinala mo, the duke joined hands with some trusted people in Denver to secure Lamperouge's win," dagdag niya pa.
"Aside from that? Did he talk to the Emperor's trusted rogue messenger?" I asked. Hindi man ako nakatingin, subalit alam ko kung ano ang pinapahiwatig ng katahimikan sa paligid, kaya't napapikit ako.
"Blessime included in her letter that after they arrived, the duke went out with Wyatt and came back at dawn. She did describe it wasn't a pleasing talk," he replied.
"It didn't go out well or it did at some point," I said, affirming his statement. "There are three things that made him decide to talk to him. First, to pardon me from any punishment since I am bearing an heir. Second, to ask for reinforcement for the election to be executed properly. Lastly, to ask the true reason of Annabelle's death that he had been avoiding for five years."
"If he knows you killed her, would he forgive you?" Magnus suddenly asked, which made me look at him. My eyes showered disbelief.
"I did not kill her," I attest. "Napoleon was there to witness how she was killed by assassins. You and Blessime were there too, if it is because of the suggestion, that was merely an opener. I have no choice but to expose her, father would be disappointed if I let my sympathy rule."
"It's not your fault she's a pure-blood cunt," Magnus uttered and suddenly stood straight. He spread his arms, stretching them around to loosen the tension. He then looked at me. "A powerful seer who fell in love with the duke, who passed down its unused power to her little child, and a half-blooded vicious witch who broke their happy ending. You are a true villain, Latisha," he continued.
Hindi na ako nagsalita ng bigkasin niya 'yon. I let him leave using the window and the office welcomed silence once more. I closed my eyes as I took a deep breath.
I wasn't given a choice from what happened, but I was given a chance to change what can happen. Hindi ko na maibabalik ang nakaraan o hiniling na sana sa taon kung nasaan pinili kung siraan ang isang tao ako bumalik.
Pero dito ako napadpad, dito ako nagsimula at dito ko rin tatapusin. I am the rebel , the villain, the nemesis. It was always me. I was created for this very role, but I'm changing it.
"I did everything out of love for my parents, for my clan but that is all in the past," I said as I looked at the wedding portrait once more. My eyes focused on the duke, who bore no emotions when this was taken. "But this time, I will do everything out of love for you. I am a little closer to correcting all my wrongdoings, your grace."
My palms found its way back on my growing belly. As I slowly caressed the little bump, a soft smile escaped my lips. "I won't let anyone control this game..." I whispered.
Even Laviene.
*~*~*~*
Note: the game of charade is ON. *winks*
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