Turning onto my old street bile rose up into the back of my throat, as I spotted the bush I had hidden under. A cold shiver washed over me as I stared at the bush. For a second it felt as if I was there curled up fearing for my life all over again.
Staring out the window, I let the tears fall as I started to relive every single haunting moment of that horrifying night. Joshua reached out and took hold of my hand but never said a word and left me cry. I knew how much this was affecting Joshua as well but right at that minute I needed this, this time to cry. Pulling into the drive I saw Elle Lisa Jack and Paul all there waiting. I looked over at Joshua and seeing his guilty as hell face, I wanted to shout at him for telling them I was coming but the concern and worry in his eyes out done the guilt and had my temper vanishing.
"I'm sorry" he mumbled as he gave my trembling hand a slight squeeze. To choked up to reply, I leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. This is why I fell in love with him so fast. Joshua was just every woman's perfect dream man and even up till now I still can't believe he loves me.
Unclipping my seatbelt I felt as if I was going to be sick. Swallowing down hard, I managed to slip my trembling body out of the car. Everyone stayed back giving me space and time to do this on my own. My legs shook as well as the rest of my entire body, inside and out. I knew coming here was going to be hard but actually standing here, right now on the drive way, starring at the front door became too real.
My chest tightened as I struggled to breathe through the flashbacks that came flooding back, like a tidal wave. From Jaxon's pure enraged face to his fists flying at me in every direction possible, to the kiss. Not been able to hold it in any longer my stomach contents started emptying themselves as I bowed my head and cried. Joshua was at my side rubbing my back whilst Lisa and Elle held back my hair. The silence was unbearable but at the same time what could any of us say. This situation was beyond any words, comforting or even the tears that we all cried. I realised that maybe I had just made the worst decision of my life. Then again, maybe the second worst thing because the first has to be me ever meeting Jaxon.
Once I had finished emptying my stomach contents, I slowly straightened myself up and if it wasn't for Joshua having a hold of me, I would've ended up on the floor. Paul handed me over a tissue as the rest of them fussed about.
"I'm sorry" I managed to get out through my sobs. Feeling myself becoming steadier on my feet I wanted nothing more than to run back to the car and get the hell out of here. However, I wasn't about to let Jaxon do this to me. He had scarred and petrified me enough and he wasn't going to stop me from visiting my old home as well as my friends. He had damaged me enough and I wasn't going to let him continue ruining my life. On that thought, I straightened myself up and pushed through everyone even Joshua. I needed to do this now and on my own.
Walking up to the front door, I mentally screamed at Jaxon telling him he was scum! Standing at the door I looked first to the wall and then to the floor. There was no blood but I could still see it as clear as I did that night. I hated Jaxon so much right now for what he had done to me.
An amount of hatred that I never thought was possible flowed through my veins like a lightening bolt. So fast that for a flicker of a second I wished Joshua had killed him but as quick as I thought it, I pushed it back. I could live without Jaxon but there was no way on earth that I could live without Joshua or my friends. Turning around I came face to face with Jack, Paul Joshua Lisa and Elle. Seeing their sorrowful faces all I could do was smile through my tears, as I looked up to the people who had not only saved my life that night but also have been there for me every step of the way.
"Thank you.......Thank you all so much." Crying harder they all surrounded me in a big hug.
"Shush baby it's over now. We're all so proud of you." Paul's words sunk in deep letting me know it was really over. I had faced it head on and now I just had to learn to leave my past in the past where it belongs. Lifting my head up, I looked, really looked at all my friends. My true friends and thanked god for giving me these special friends.
"Now what do you say we go and get something to eat, so we can refill that empty stomach of yours before we starve our little baby there?" As always Elle was the one to crack the first joke. Laughing I took hold of Joshua's hand. Turning to face him, I looked right into his eyes as I felt his hand shaking.
I felt stronger then I had ever since that night and I knew it wasn't only because I just faced my biggest fear but also because of my friends.
"I love you so much Joshua. Thank you for bringing me back here. I guess, I'm going to have to suck it up and say you win because Hmm....Can I stay living with you?" I asked nervously because as much as I am proud of myself for coming back here to face my demons, I was no way in hell ready to move back here permently and truthfully, I don't think I will ever be ready. Joshua picked me up and hugged me so hard I thought my waters were going to break, ha ha.
"Baby those are the best words I have ever heard come out of that beautiful mouth of yours, well except from you telling me how great I am or I love you or...." Laughing I cut him off. "I get it now shut up and kiss me!" and without further prompting his lips were against mine as he kissed me hungrily.
"OK enough of that R-rated stuff you two lets go and eat before my niece starves. Laughing all of us walked over to Joshua's car. Taking one quick look back over my shoulder I felt a closure, a closure not only of that night but from Jaxon too. I had survived and now I needed to live and get ready for our babies arrival.
Just as I thought I was in the clear I remembered that I had yet to tell my parents because they still hadn't a clue what has happened to me, let alone that I'm pregnant but I guess it's now the time to face them too. Well about the baby that is because for as long as I live I hope that I will be able to keep everything else away from them. All I had to do was ask Joshua would he come with me so we could break the news together.
We had spoken a couple of times about my parents but we hadn't ever really said when and what we would tell them but then again, I guess we had much bigger things on our minds at the time. I know what I wanted to tell them but first I wanted to make sure Joshua was going to be alright by being introduced to my parents as our baby's father.
I knew with all my heart Joshua would be thrilled by that but I still didn't feel right just assuming it was ok without even asking Joshua. However, that will all have to wait a little longer because for now I just wanted to spend the rest of the day out with my friends because as far as I've come, I still had quite a long road in front of me.
The court case being the next, lucky for me though, Joshua had managed to get the best Lawyer in town. The lawyer had already built a case so strong that I mightn't even need to attend the court if I didn't want to. Which if I was to be honest with everyone as well as myself, which is the last thing I wanted to attend. Don't get me wrong, I would love nothing more than to see Jaxon getting locked up but at the same time, I never wanted to see his face again, let alone be in the same room as him.
**************************
WOW Isabella done it! I am so proud of her. Yes she broke down but she kept going. Isabella has become so strong. Joshua well what can i say???? ha ha you can fill that in for me :)
Sorry this chapter is late. I'm off today so I'm going to try and write as much as i can so i can upload soon xxx
As always thank you so much for reading xxxx
If you're enjoying please recommend it to your friends and family
All my love and appreciation Mel xoxo