Coffee in hand, the brunette slowly walked back towards his room, his steps careful not to spill his freshly brewed drink. He eyed the raven standing in the kitchen, staring at his phone, before continuing onwards—and choosing to ignore his weird-acting friend.
Eyes focused on what was his hot coffee, he opened the door to his room and stepped inside, closing the wooden door softly. Jisung might've not been in a good mood—and Jeongin clearly wasn't either—but that didn't allow him to slam the door shut.
He didn't want to annoy the other and most importantly, didn't want to get mad. The adult knew, that if he did slam that door just a second ago, all of his anger, and I mean all, would just spill out of him at the newfound coping skill.
Jisung didn't want to punch his walls, throw around his plants and crack his phone screen. He wanted to talk it out, yet Jeongin's behaviour didn't let him.
With a sigh, Han placed his cup down on the wooden desk, noticing his trembling hands and starting headache and with yet another sigh, he grabbed his pack of cigarettes.
Leaving the coffee behind, he walked back to where he came from, grabbed the lighter neatly set on the kitchen counter—that was almost toppling over the edge—and continued to the door of their shared balcony.
Jisung hesitated before stepping outside. He really needed to get rid of his addiction, it was taking all the money from him. "Just this package, then I'll quit," He said to himself, fully aware of how often he had failed before.
Yet that didn't matter, it would be a new start.
Looking back once more, mind now focused on the younger boy that had quietly walked past him just a second ago, he turned around and walked to his room. The brunette's hand raised and just as he was about to knock on the door, he stopped.
This was stupid.
Uneasy he retracted in his steps, ending up yet again right in front of the balcony. Biting his inner cheek, he finally stepped outside.
★
Jisung felt his body flinch together, as a screech echoed through the apartment, shortly followed by a thud. Was Jeongin okay?
Worry filling his head, the brunette flipped away the halfway-smoked cigarette and pushed himself off the dark blue loveseat, storming into the room the—almost terrifying—sound came from.
"Jeongin?" He voiced out in a quiet manner, his insecurities suddenly taking over him as the events from earlier that day flooded his brain. Perhaps, he didn't want to see him.
Discouraged by his own thoughts, Jisung stood motionless in front of the younger's door, his head hung low and legs feeling unbearably heavy all of a sudden. The simple idea of just going back into his room again popped up in his mind, and he had to admit, it was tempting.
Yet, what if, the raven did need his help? What if he did want to see him? Hold him, kiss him, love him?
Would he finally feel complete?
Would the returnation of his own feelings, make him believe in love again? There's only one way to find out, yet that particular road seemed to go upwards at a ninety-degree angle—making it seem impossible to reach his destination.
Taking a tight grip on one of the stones of the grey wall, Jisung started to climb, raising his other arm and- knocking on the door. "You in there?" He asked after a second of silence.
"Y-yeah," The voice didn't come from Jeongin's room but instead from behind the door on his left. "Why are you in the storage room?" Han whispered to himself, before deciding that this would be his chance.
The college student picked away at the skin of his nails, bit his lip soft yet harshly and looked around, his eyes filled with anxiousness. "Talk to me.. please."
His voice was quiet, yet the ravenette in the other room most definitely heard him. Jisung frowned as he didn't get an answer, sulking as his close friend didn't even want to talk to him.
Slowly but surely he was losing patience, calling his name over and over—even pressing his ear against the wood of the door, trying to hear at least some kind of response. When he didn't, he snapped. "Why won't you? I didn't even do anything!"
"Hell, you did!"
Han truly just wanted to hear his voice, his sweet sweet voice, but this? This wasn't the Jeongin he knew. "What?" He whispered out, more to himself than the younger boy—the boy who wouldn't tell him what was wrong.
The brunette pushed away his insecurities, that tried to push him off the wall and all the progress he made. Tightening his grip yet again, he opened the door.
Jeongin sat on the floor against the wall, his knees brought up to his chest and face hidden in between his knees. "What do you- ...Are you okay?" Not caring about the door that would fall close behind him, Jisung took a couple of quick steps towards the younger and kneeled down next to him, worry written on his face.
"Innie? W-what's wrong?" The older boy's voice was quiet and unsure, was it okay to ask? After the boy just screamed at him, sounding oh so mad?
Quietly, the younger sniffed, the loudness of his voice catching Han off guard afterwards. "Quit playing. You know exactly what's wrong!" He shot his head up, making the older back off. "Jeongin... I'm sorry but I have no idea-"
Jisung's eyes saddened as he looked at the other, his lips trembling and tears starting to flow down his cheeks. "That girl, Hyung! You like her more than me, don't you?!"
Even with all the screaming, the older was relieved Jeongin still called him his Hyung, he didn't totally fuck up, hopefully. Yet even with that mindset, he still didn't know what he was going on about. Under his breath, he questioned, "What girl?" Before listening to the younger rambling on and on.
"Who was she? And why were you holding her so tightly, Hyung? I don't get it, I-I thought you liked me and now you're away for a day and suddenly have a girlfriend! Are you not even interested in boys?" He caught his breath for a second, before continuing.
"Tell me, do you love her?" Jisung was stunned, everything suddenly made sense. All the words that had left his mouth made him realise just how different those photos he took would look to him, of course, he couldn't know that that was his brother's girlfriend, not his. Of course, he would expect the worst.
With a—more or less relieved—smile on his face, Han spoke in a quiet manner, "It's not like that Innie." "Don't call me that, Jisung-ssi! There's nothing between us, we should just stop being friends already- if- ...if you're only p-playing around. It's unfair!"
Just like the younger's, the brunette's heart broke—it broke into two, making his light smile drop and arms fall to his side, as he furrowed his eyebrows together.
Again, he tried to talk but got shut off almost immediately with a "no." "Just listen to me, damn it! Jeongin-ah, I don't love her! I love-
you..."
★
The freckled boy walked through the wide open door of the café, eying the boy behind the counter for a second too long before continuing to look for his friend—who had stated his arrival through text just a mere few minutes ago.
Finally, he spotted him at one of the tables, waving eagerly with a hand-covered smile. Felix returned it, as he walked over to his friend, feeling a mixture of excitement and pure nervousness.
"Hey Minnie," He said, grinning stupidly as he took his seat opposite him. "Hey," The other returned, looking at him with expectations. "Why'd you wanna hang out? Anything going on?" "Straight to the point, as always," Felix thought to himself, with a shake of his head.
He had expected this already, yet he wasn't ready—not prepared enough, if he were to word it—even though he had rehearsed what he wanted to say for at least the past two hours, and thought about it for the past weeks.
Jisung had told him all about the younger and his girlfriend and the fake blond appreciated him oh so much for that. Just imagining confessing and embarrassing himself, while not even knowing the younger was in a committed relationship, made his ears burn up.
"Not exactly but- I want to tell you something." His voice was softer than usual, not like his normal deep tone, which immediately signalled Seungmin the importance of what he was about to say. "What is it? Don't tell me you're moving to Australia again, I swear to god your parents can fuck themselves-"
Felix snorted, "It's nothing like that," And the brunette let out an inaudible sigh, that his expression gave away for the older to see. "But it's still pretty serious, kinda. It's just something I want to get off of my chest..."
"Go ahead then, I'm all ears, you know that," Seungmin said, his voice more or less reassuring, yet even if his voice wasn't his words surely were.
With a smile spread on his lips, Felix looked down. Everything about the younger was perfect, he was oh so perfect for him and if they would ever get together, he was sure that they would be the dream couple of the century. But there was just one very big problem, as the freckled boy had learned.
The younger college student was straight.
Softly, he peeled his eyes from the still-empty table in front of him and looked Seungmin in the eyes, before averting his gaze down to his half-empty flat white. And with a sigh, he was finally ready to spill (though not the coffee).
"Seungminnie, I know I can always count on you but there's this thing that I haven't told you about and I think it would be... disrespectful to keep it to myself for any longer. I- ...I just really like you, as more than a friend that is. I'm sorry."
"I want to be with you forever."
★
Out of the corner of his eyes, Hyunjin watched the two boys interact and he just couldn't help but listen in when he saw that young, blond boy look down at the table. He looked so sad and vulnerable, he looked like he needed a shoulder to cry on, despite the smile he had been wearing since he stepped inside.