ZEHRA
I read the name on the screen, and now even Taara and Sarisha are calling me, maybe they found out that I am not there and neither is Daiwik. Every day, three times a day they call me. And I don't pick up.
I helped my mother with Abu, who was coughing and vomiting at the same time, I held his back and let him get himself out. I rubbed my hand on his back, his face hung low.
His coughing and bile stopped, and he was just hanging lowly. I touched his back, "Abu?" I called when his body turned even heavier and he was about to tumble forward and fall in his bile. I withheld him by his arm and pushed him back, his head falling backwards completely, his eyes open and widened but no blink, no stir of iris. Just blank.
"Abu!" I yelled loudly, Murshad in the corner of the room stirred with fear, ran towards Ammi and hid behind her, looking at me like I was going to hurt him.
But I watched my father and then turned to Ammi who stepped outside the bedroom.
The truth and the fact that my father was a disruption of many and all. His daughter.
Died.
My mother looked at my father and then fell on the floor. But no tears on her face, a smile pulling rather than the pain. While my chest was constricted, watching the life drained from the body made of only bones.
I tried to feel bad, to feel hurt. But how come? Even death of him, hasn't stirred any guilt in me for his end? My mother stays on the floor, thanking Allah, for finally giving him mercy and letting him die.
Living like an impair was more torturous than dying the most brutal death. And he deserved a brutal death. One that Daiwik would have given him, only if I wasn't the one he wanted more than his revenge.
Daiwik.
My mind recited this name like a bell. And my dead father in my hand, the fact that he was the reason I met the most beautiful person in my life, but he is also the reason I lost that person? I was to thank him for dying.
I am cruel and evil, for even in a situation like this, rather than feeling pain and disruption I felt relief and hope that maybe...maybe I won't feel guilty for what I have done to Daiwik, what my blood had done to Daiwik.
One that was dead now.
Tears stream down my face, wetting my cheek, same as my mother now but we both had different reasons to be happy. For her, she was happy that my suffering father was finally set to peace, that he was out of his misery.
But mine was to finally be gone, punished for what he did.
~
2 WEEKS LATER
The death of my father held my mother for the next ten days, while I mourned for 3 days. We were to portray patience in our culture. To portray understanding, and that he went to god after repenting his sins.
And that's how, we moved on, from going off my father's body.
~
I held my phone close to my chest sitting in front of my father's tombstone, and read the number of missed calls again. I don't know how to feel, but I looked back at my father's name on the stone, with blessings for his soul written in Arabic and thought. If he received his peace despite what he did.
Shouldn't we all? We all grieved for years of deeds done by him, and he is there. He goes to his god, without any obligation, because death is the end mile of sins committed on earth.
And I am living, Daiwik is living, in the suffering of what he had done? No. Even his sin should be forgiven.
But, often lets me wonder if can he be blamed for it.
The reason I never showed him myself again, the hurt of what he did was much less compared to the pain of what my family had done to his family.
That family I have lived around, and seen their joy, seen their smiles, seen how they try to live unaffected, how they joke and how they shoulder each other.
The thought of their agony guilt me again. But now, who did what he did was there in the realm of punishment, or peace. Unsure I am.
I dialled the number that recently rang, Devakshaya. And without even completing a single ring, his voice sounded on the other end. "Mute!" he shouted, but his voice was relief.
And listening to his voice, I was just as happy. I sat more comfortably, hugging my legs close to my chest. My old habit. And spoke, "How is everyone?" I asked him and he didn't say anything before he spoke.
“How are you?"
"Don't ask me,"
"Everything is good. We bought our house back in Vandigana." He informed me. We?
"Does that mean, Divya and Maa are going to come here?" I asked him and he didn't reply. "If you want that, to come back to Daiwik. I don't think Maa will say no," He was joking, his tone suggested. But something serious is also there.
"How can you say that? The best part of being there was, being with my family. " I told him, hugging my legs closer.
"Then, why are you not coming back to your family, Mute?" He asked me. But I didn't say anything for a brief moment.
"Give the phone to Divya if you are around. I know she had been calling me," I said hanging his words in stiff air. And with little sound in the background. I heard Divya.
"Bhabhi! Oh, thank god! Are you okay? Is everything okay? Why were you not picking up calls? Do you know how worried I was?" She said and I chuckled at her worry.
"Don't laugh! You left without telling me you were going." She complained. No one knew when I went. I don't know how it went with them, what Daiwik told his family.
"I am sorry," I admitted and she didn't say anything about it further. "When are you coming back."
I am going back.
I know I am going back.
"When your brother will come to take me." My words were silent, even a surprise to me. I wasn't sure I was ready to see Daiwik. But I know, I don't see anything to live for if it is not with Daiwik.
And if I am ready to do so, he has to cross his demons because if he is held with what my blood had done to him? We will never truly be free.
"Well, he doesn't pick our call but if he does. I will shout to him and warn him to go to you immediately!" She said and I smiled.
"Okay, I will call you later," I said hung the call down, and slid to the top of the call log where the name Daiwik was written. He had called me, for more numbers than I know of times.
I skipped his name, went down towards Taara, and dialled her number, she picked up after three rings. "Oh, Zehra! Thank god! You are okay! I was so scared for you!" She said loudly. "I am okay, Taara. "
"Where are you?" She asked me, and I added, telling her I was fine. With few more pleasantry. I cut the call and dialled Sarisha. Who didn't pick up at first but her call came right after.
"Zehra! What the hell? You are alive and you didn't call me back." She said and I laughed at her a riposte.
"I am, somehow."
"Don't joke!"
And once again, I don't remember how long but we talked together, the conversation kept going on just the way it had flowed. Being there, I had gained friends. Those who cared about me too.
Being in Chandravanipur was so different from being in Vandigana. And I feel attracted to be there. To be back at the place I felt more at home than this place ever had made me feel.
I ended the call and stared at his name. I wanted to call him. But before I could have, the screen flashed with his name and he was once again calling me.
He has been calling me ever since and hasn't stopped even once
I looked down at my hand and then shut it. I got up on my feet and looked at my father's grave before I started to walk out of the graveyard and towards home.
My eyes darted to the number of Daiwik on the screen and I held my breath. I looked up trying to ignore it, but at my threshold of the house. I froze.
My heartbeat pulsed, my mind lingered on the worst, and among all the worst the real reason for my fate, my suffering for the last six months. Not the last six years, stood at my door.
My second husband.
One who sold me mercilessly to that brothel for a profit of two lakhs. Who raped me callously and spoke those barbaric words to me.
A partial old man, probably in his late forties now, standing with his hand behind his back in his grey kurta matching his hair and stubble and a big smile lurked on his face.
His eyes shone brightly when they rested in me. My breath hitched, I started to take steps back, taking one behind another but the thought of my lone mother in the house came to my mind.
I can't run away. "Oh, so you are here. You did manage to free yourself from that Chandravani Haveli! The rumours weren't a lie. The MMS queen was here." He said taking steps towards me.
My breath was heavy, and anxiety attacked me. I stared at him with no clear view though, and he held himself closer to me now.
"Good. Good. Good wife." he said before he clutched my arm tightly in his hold. I turned to look around, it was early morning. Everyone was in their houses.
I should yell! I should show
"Help-" Before I could have cried he held my mouth in his hold, and my body under his palm, "Let me have the front ride. Before I make the profit again, with your body. This time selling you in Sonanagar Kotha!" He spoke before he started to drag me, forward. Taking me towards the end alleyway. And, no one saw me. How come no one is here? Why? Why everyone is in their houses? Please? Someone, please listen to me.
I don't know how from the alleyway, he came down to the black fort that had been rotting for generations now and he threw me inside.
I looked around for anything, that I could use to hit him. To hurt him, but nothing. His leering gaze covered me before he held my eyes. "You have turned more pretty from the last time I saw you!" He uttered with disgust before he started stepping my way, he reached for me but I hit his hand away.
I slapped him and searched for my phone. Nothing, nothing is on me. Did I lose it earlier?
I thought to myself and peered above but he was already holding me hostage on his body and throwing me on the ground. I tried to stand up, and he leaned forward but I punched his face towards the side.
"Tere haath pair chalne lage hai!"
(You have started using your wits)
He said and came over the top of me before I could escape and pinned me down. I tried to jerk my knee towards his crotch but before I could inflict the pain, someone else picked him up from the collar and threw him on the ground.
And kept his foot on his front face, breaking his nose with with heavy boot.
And turned to see me, on the ground,
"For the first time. You needed me, and I am here. I am here for my Zehra,"
Daiwik
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hey readers!
So, 1 more chapter and the story is on its end. I hope you love them. And honestly? I am not ready to move on from them. I can't live with the idea of not having Zehra and Daiwik in my life anymore.
Also, ANNOUNCEMENT for Devakshaya lovers!! His book is out now.
Go check it out! And support it too please! 🫶🫶