As sunlight softly streams into the living room and casts an angelic glow on Noeul's face, Boss watches him sleeping soundly. They're lying side by side, Noeul's head propped on Boss' arm and the boy's hand on his chest. The bit of Noeul's skin peeking from under the blanket shows his chest decorated with red hot hickeys around his scar like a constellation—proof that last night wasn't a dream.
Boss plants a soft kiss on his forehead and wipes the faint traces of tears on Noeul's face with his thumb. I'm sorry for giving you such a hard time, Boss says in his head, not wanting to disturb the boy's peaceful slumber.
Meanwhile, Boss hasn't slept a wink after they made love. And that's exactly what it was, not just hormonally fueled sex but an expression of love, of their true feelings that's often blurred and buried under too much considerations and confusion.
Last night, for the first time since he learned the truth, Boss saw, touched and held Noeul without thinking of Ple. And this enlightened him and assured him of what he actually knew all along, that he loves Noeul—for Noeul, not for Ple's heart or her memories.
Ple will always be a part of Boss' life and his love for Noeul doesn't make the love he once had for Ple any less real. But she's gone now and the hearts that once belonged to her are Noeul's now; both Ple's and Boss'.
That was some twisted trick fate pulled on them and it almost tore them apart—almost. But now, Boss knows better and he wants to protect Noeul—his love—at all cost which is why...he made up his mind not to tell Noeul the truth.
It's not that he doesn't trust Noeul's feelings for him; Boss is just scared Noeul might not be able to handle it. Boss, being perfectly strong and healthy, was nearly driven to madness by this revelation and he even fell ill, let alone Noeul who is already fragile to begin with.
And if something happens to Noeul, if Boss loses him...he might really not recover this time. So although he isn't sure if this is the right thing to do, for both their sakes, Boss will carry this secret to the grave.
He can only hope there are exceptions to the saying "all secrets get revealed" because in this particular case, Boss doesn't believe that the truth will set them free.
"Chaikamon?" Noeul mumbles in a half conscious state and to this, Boss pulls him closer and hums, "Hm?"
The boy can barely keep his eyes open yet he still manages to say albeit weakly, "I'm sorry 'bout what I said. You're not a coward. I didn't mean-"
"Shh." Boss coos, kissing Noeul's temple this time and letting the boy nuzzle up to the crook of his neck. "I'm the one who's sorry, Eul." Boss tells him then in a voice so gentle and quiet that, to Noeul, it sounds like a lullaby. "I was confused for sometime...but I'm sure of it now. I love you, Eul. Don't forget that."
~~~
When Noeul finally awakens at noon, he finds himself tucked snuggly under a blanket, lying on the couch but without Boss by his side. He sits up so suddenly, it gives him a headache. Not only that, but his back feels as though it's about to snap.
"Ow." He groans, not knowing whether to grab his head or his hip. But then, he hears a soft chuckle and his eyes fly open to find Boss standing behind the kitchen counter, smiling fondly at him while pouring coffee into a mug.
"You're awake."
For a moment, Noeul just stares almost in disbelief. He had always secretly imagined a life where he would wake up in the arms of his lover or to him making breakfast and giving Noeul the princess treatment but he never thought it would actually happen. And he feels even more blessed that it's Boss, someone who treasures him and vice versa.
But it's then that snippets of the previous night flashes in his mind, how they had slept together and how this very couch rocked hard and made creaking noises the whole time.
Noeul hides his face, feeling shy all of a sudden to which Boss just shakes his head. He grabs a water bottle and walks over to the living room then he sits on the edge of the couch and slowly peels Noeul's hands away from his face.
If it's even possible, Noeul is more beautiful than he was yesterday with his lightly tousled bedhead, his flushed cheeks and freshly bitten lips; afterglow must really be a thing.
"Are you okay?" Boss asks him then. "Do you want me to get you an ice pack or pain reliever?"
Noeul still feels embarrassed yet he looks up from under those thick long lashes and timidly shakes his head. "M'fine. I should be asking you. You had a high fever last night."
"Well, I guess I sweated it all out." Boss says, sounding mischievous to which Noeul chides, "Chaikamon! I'm serious. Do you...feel better?"
Boss takes Noeul's hand and presses it against his neck, warm but the normal kind. "See?" He tells the frowning boy who looks instantly relieved. But Boss teases him one last time, saying, "Now, we know what to do when I get sick."
Noeul's cheeks burn furiously at his remark and he whines, "Chaikamon."
Boss laughs then retorts, "I meant wiping my body down to reduce my temperature. What were you thinking about?"
At this, Noeul shoots him a cute but deadly glare and mutters, "I won't take care of you next time."
Boss chuckles, pulling Noeul into a hug which the boy doesn't refuse albeit pretending to sulk. "Okay, I won't tease you anymore. I made breakfast, wanna have it together?"
Noeul is still pouting when his eyes flick up to Boss but he eventually breaks into a soft smile and nods his head. "I'd like that."
~~~
When Boss' father arrives at the garage later that day, he finds P'Aon standing off to the side timidly, looking as though he has something to say but doesn't want to. He brushes it off, thinking it's nothing important and asks the mechanic, "Is Boss in yet?"
But that's exactly what P'Aon has been dreading to talk about. "Uh...he was just here, sir." He says, following behind Boss' dad who then asks, "And?"
At this, P'Aon rubs the back of his neck anxiously before finally coming out with it, "And he just left...after submitting his resignation."
Boss' dad spins furiously on his heel and asks, "What?! Where is he?"
"A-at the house, sir...packing." P'Aon replies. "He said something about-" But the other doesn't wait for him to finish and brushes past him, stomping over to the house just a few blocks away from the garage.
"Boss!" His dad's voice echoes in the house as he jogs upstairs and into his son's bedroom where he finds Boss packing his bags. He gapes in horror at the sight unfolding in front of him and pipes up, "What do you think you're doing?"
Boss doesn't even turn to look at him and just mutters, "I'm leaving. I'll be staying with Fort for the time being just until I can get my own place."
"Wha- son, is this about that boy?"
Boss pauses what he's doing and turns his head slowly to look at his dad over his shoulder. Then he turns back to the task at hand, zipping up his luggage as he says, "No, dad, this is about me...about my life. You're right; I should be working towards my future...but I just don't see myself doing that here."
"And where do you see yourself doing that?" His father scoffs. "Working for P'Chai? For an illegal race circuit?!"
"I'll only work for him until I graduate then I'll find something more stable." Boss states, moving his luggage off the bed and starting to wheel it across the room towards the door.
"Do you think life is that simple?!" His dad exclaims then, prompting Boss to stop in his tracks. "Do you know how long it took to build this business from the ground up? All whilst getting ostracized for being a "lowly mechanic". But look how the tables have turned.
"While all my peers work for an employer or for underground races, I have my own business! I don't have to worry about getting fired or arrested! And I don't live from paycheck to paycheck. I just want you and your brother to enjoy that same privilege; is that so wrong?"
At this, Boss sighs and turns to look at his dad. He isn't angry...anymore, just tired. And for the last time, he tries to make his dad understand.
"Remember how gramps wanted you to be a doctor and send you off to the big city so you don't get stuck in this small town, fixing cars for a living like him?" Boss asks and his father, taken aback as he is, clears his throat and averts his eyes.
"Just like you, what he wanted for you—for his son—wasn't wrong. And had you listened to him, you would've been a big shot doctor by now. But you never saw yourself leaving this town or the garage and let's be honest, you worked as hard as you did to prove to him that you didn't make a mistake.
"There's no way to tell whether your life would've turned out better otherwise. But you made a choice, dad...and it's time I make mine."
His father's eyes flick over to him with a look of guilt; when did he turn into his own father? He can't be sure but what's clear is that his son has made up his mind and, funny, it's as though he's looking at his younger self—equally stubborn yet filled with determination.
As Boss turns to leave, his father forces down his pride and utters after him, "I'm sorry...for hurting you and that boy too. I just...I'm sorry, son."
A tear escapes from the corner of Boss' eye even though he forgave his father even before he apologized. But he doesn't spare him a glance so as not to waver. But he does tell him then, "I'm sorry too. Take care of mom and yourself, okay?"
He doesn't wait for an answer and goes on his way. His father doesn't stop him mostly because he knows he can't. But also, because although this isn't what he wanted for Boss, he does feel proud of the man he's become.
~~~
For the next few weeks, Boss would juggle going to school, making sure to spend time with Noeul during break or when there's free time and having a job to do afterwards at P'Chai's estate, working on his racing bikes.
It's grueling and on top of that, he still sometimes worries about his parents. But he had to choose and he chose Noeul. He chose a life wherein he is behind the wheel and no one can tell him what to do or who to be with.
Most times, he and Noeul could only hang out during lunch or when they did hangout on weekends, Boss would be so tired, he had no energy left to go outside and do things.
And today is no different.
Noeul was worried about Boss overexerting himself so they decided to just stay in and put on a movie. But as of now, Boss is dozing off on the carpet while leaning on the foot of Noeul's bed and holding a throw pillow. And the latter is watching him instead of the movie, his eyes filled with worry but also fondness.
Boss looks so soft with his eyes closed and lips partly open and Noeul can't find it in himself to be annoyed that Boss fell asleep on their date. But deep down, he can't help but wonder why the other male is putting himself through all of this. Is it just because he wants to work for the racing circuit?
When Boss comes to, he finds Noeul staring at him and he instantly sits up, eyes wide with realization. "Eul, sorry, I didn't-"
But Noeul flashes an endearing smile and assures him, "It's okay; you must be really tired." He scoots closer to Boss then and leans on his chest to which the latter slightly shifts his position and gets rid of the pillow to better accommodate Noeul.
He wraps an arm—which has gotten bulkier from all the manual labor—around Noeul's narrow shoulders and plants a kiss on the boy's forehead. "I'm sorry. There's an upcoming race so there's so much to do. Also, I'm still getting the hang of things." Boss says and lets out a deep sigh. "I'll make it up to you after the race, okay?"
At this, Noeul bobs his head and reaches up to kiss Boss on the lips. It was short but sweet. And when he pulls away, he tells the larger male, "I'll give you a proper room tour next time you're here."
Boss glances around as if realizing for the first time he's at Noeul's house, in Noeul's bedroom. It's pretty spacious, more so than his own room. The bed is a queen size with a side table where a large humidifier is. There's also a small portable oxygen can next to it and a pillbox.
The huge flat screen tv hangs directly in front of the bed. And on one side of the room, there's a large window to let a lot of sunlight in; it just so happens it's early evening now so only the faint light of lamp posts outside are peeking through the curtains.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the bed is a built in shelf that takes up almost the entire wall, filled with figurines as well as a collection of DVDs; Boss hadn't seen any of those in a while.
It's very...Noeul. And Boss finds that cute but also, it makes Boss inwardly sad because he can imagine Noeul spending all his time here growing up and having nothing else besides the things in this room.
But his thoughts are interrupted when Noeul pipes up, "Chaikamon..."
"Hm?" Boss hums, flicking his eyes down to meet the doe-eyed ones looking up at him.
Noeul chews on his lip briefly before coming out with it, "Do you have to work so hard? I'm...worried you might get sick because you're so tired all the time."
"Me? Sick?" Boss smirks, lightly flicking the other boy's forehead. "Worry about yourself."
Noeul pouts at his unserious response and mutters, "Meanie. I'm only thinking of you."
And at that, Boss smiles genuinely and his eyes fill with adoration. "I know." He utters in a quiet voice. "I'm doing this so I can prove to my dad that I can stand on my own and take charge of my life." He tells Noeul but withholds the part where he's also doing this to keep Noeul away from people who know about his heart and might reveal it to him for their own advantage.
Even though his dad apologized and his mom seemed regretful, the closer they are to people who know this secret, the more likely it is to explode in their faces.
Noeul seems thoughtful for a moment then he ultimately nods his head, smiling up at his man. "If that's the case, then do your best. I'm cheering for you...hubby."
Boss looks visibly stunned after hearing Noeul call him that to which the boy's cheeks get a light dusting of pink from feeling shy.
"W-what did you call me?"
Noeul chews on his lip, smiling to himself. "You said you want to get your own place, right? And you were asking if I wanna stay with you during my senior year. My answer is...yes. And in that case, wouldn't we be like a married couple? So...I thought I should get used to calling you hubby."
"Mm..." Boss hums thoughtfully, then a playful smirk appears on his face. He raises Noeul's chin to make the boy look at him and he asks then, "What does that make you then, my wife?"
Now, it's Noeul's turn to get flustered and Boss doesn't miss the way he swallows thickly before trying to turn his face away. But Boss gently (yet somewhat aggressively) pulls his chin back so they are face to face and whispers, "What's the matter...wifey?"
And once the sexual tension between them gets so thick, one can practically slice it, Boss takes Noeul out of his misery and closes the small gap between their lips. But he continues to tease him a bit by only giving him short pecks and Noeul's impatience prompts him to capture Boss' lips hungrily.
Boss chuckles, pulling away then telling Noeul, "What if your mom suddenly comes home?"
"She won't until late!" Noeul almost whines. "That's why she agreed for me to have a friend over."
Boss quirks a curious brow then. "So now, I'm a friend? What happened to husband?" He pretends to take offense but at this, the boy sputters, "I-I just haven't officially told her about us, that's all. But I will!"
Once Boss has teased him enough, he flashes a genuine smile right before going back to kissing Noeul, more deeply this time. Who was he kidding anyway? His pants had gotten tighter almost as soon as they started kissing. And now, Noeul has migrated smoothly from lying, caged, in between Boss' long legs to being the one straddling him.
There's a suggestive movement in his hips that makes Boss' little predicament get worse what with each grind.
And let's just say the soft faux fur carpet that had once served as a mere alternative to Noeul's bed for movie viewing purposes has now, well, lost its innocence.
~~~
A little over an hour later and the two boys are sitting side by side with only their hands clasped together as though they weren't tangled in each other in more ways than one just moments ago. They're both dressed for good measure, just in case Noeul's mom suddenly appears in the doorway.
And good call because maybe about twenty minutes later, their car pulls up in the driveway and Noeul's mom steps out, the distinct sound of her heels clacking against the wooden flooring of the front porch shortly making her presence known.
It's only then that Noeul feels somewhat guilty for doing naughty stuff while she was away but...given the chance to do it over, he'd probably do the same thing. At least, they didn't do the deed while she was downstairs, right?
"I guess that's my cue to leave." Boss says then, interrupting Noeul's thoughts. The boy instantly makes puppy eyes, asking, "Shouldn't you just sleep over? It's late."
The dorm is quite a distance away from here and Noeul's concerned he's too tired; he already was to begin with then they went and did that which probably drained more of Boss' energy.
But on the contrary, Boss actually feels rejuvenated. Not only that but he's worried he might not sleep at all if he stays in Noeul's room—if you know what he means. So he flashes the boy a reassuring smile and tells Noeul, "It's fine. I brought my motorcycle anyway."
"Promise to drive safe then." The boy pouts to which Boss lightly ruffles his hair. "Promise."
Boss gets up with Noeul following suit. Then, just as he's reaching for the door, Boss turns back to the smaller boy, planting a soft kiss on his forehead and whispering to him, "I love you."
They've both said it in the past and Noeul isn't complaining; he just finds it curious that Boss says it so frequently as though he might forget.
"I know." Noeul chuckles softly, nuzzling against the skin of Boss' neck. "I love you too."
And Boss truly hopes that's true, that Noeul knows he loves him and that no matter what happens, what Noeul ends up finding out in the future, he'll remember that Boss loves him.