A/N:
I'm posting my update early to make up for the single chapter last time. 😁 Also, this chapter and the next contain a bit of 🌶️ but as usual, it's not too elaborate since this is BossNoeul. Just a heads up.
~~~
A few days passed. Noeul is trying not to care or at least, not to make it obvious. But for the second day in a row now, Boss' seat is empty and it's keeping Noeul from focusing on today's lecture.
You're a coward, Chaikamon. He remembers saying. Did he go too far? Or is he right after all? Because why won't Boss just talk to him instead of avoiding him.
Noeul sighs, giving up. No matter how he thinks of it, he can't figure out the reason.
The festival is today and so, contrary to Noeul's dampened mood, it's festive all around them with people inviting them to visit their booths later. Just a few days prior, Noeul looked forward to this and also, pictured himself going to some booths with Boss and enjoying the evening concert together.
Funny how quickly things change. And now, this festival will have to serve as a distraction for Noeul so he doesn't feel the emptiness too much. He makes sure to busy himself, helping out different clubs as soon as classes are over.
"Then, I'll go help out with you." Peat says but at this, Noeul pouts cutely and tells him, "Peat, this event is for everyone but the activities are mostly for couples. I want you to go and enjoy this with Fort."
"How am I supposed to-"
Noeul takes his hand and assures him, "I'm fine. I'll feel worse if we both miss out and besides, what good will two of us moping do? Go on." He insists and Peat surrenders, thinking maybe Noeul needs some space from him too.
"Okay but promise to call me if there's anything." He makes a stern face to which Noeul smiles and nods his head. "Promise."
By late afternoon, the festival is in full swing and Noeul is practically beat, not to the point that he might get sick but just enough to keep his mind off of things for sometime.
The skies are a deep purple now with hints of pinks and orange. It's beautiful and with the lights hanging all around the area, it'll be even prettier once the night rolls in. At a distance, Noeul sees that the band is getting ready, doing sound checks and bringing their instruments up on stage. And there's already a crowd forming even before they start their set.
It's so nice and yet, Noeul can't help but feel bitter especially now that the rush is over and he has all this time to himself—by himself.
He wonders what Boss is doing right now and if...he's thinking of him too.
~~~
Boss has been sick and not just because he's been feeling sick to his stomach what with everything that's happened. But he's actually sick. Since yesterday, he'd been running a fever and now, he has chills too.
Maybe, finally, his emotional and mental fatigue has manifested into a physical sickness. But who knows? Maybe he just doesn't have enough motivation to get up and go to school or even just to take a pill downstairs so he can feel better already.
From his bed, he sees the encircled date on his desk calendar. The festival is today—tonight to be exact. And he remembers how Noeul couldn't stop rambling about it all week and even before school officially resumed.
He knows it's important to Noeul especially since he's probably never experienced anything like it. Boss just had to go and make a mess right before the event and he's worried Noeul isn't even enjoying himself.
But what good will going to the festival do? He'll only upset Noeul further with his lack of explanation about everything. And his body isn't cooperating either and, just like how he feels on the inside, his world tips left and right with every move he makes.
So he decides he can't go.
~~~
Noeul found a spot slightly on the outskirts of the event at an elevated area where he can still see the mini concert. It's still within campus but away from the concentrated crowds. He just doesn't want to come across people he knows; he's not in the mood. And he doesn't want to spoil their mood either.
Currently, the band is playing 'Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You' and Noeul doesn't know whether he wants to smile or cry. He decides he'll just finish this one then head back to Peat's dorm and either watch tv or go to sleep.
He starts to sing along to the words.
If I had to live my life without you near me
The days would all be empty
The nights would seem so long
With you I see forever, oh, so clearly
I might have been in love before
But it never felt this strong
Our dreams are young and we both know
They'll take us where we want to go
Hold me now, touch me now
I don't want to live without you
But just then, he hears the sounds of dried leaves crunching beneath someone's shoes. And he'll be lying if he said he didn't hope it's Boss.
Except it isn't.
"Jesus, I thought I was hearing a ghost." Stop remarks, towering beside Noeul who then mutters, "I'm not in the mood."
Stop snorts at his attitude and asks, "What's with you? Did you get dumped or something."
And Noeul has to take a deep breath, reminding himself that the punishment for murder is lifetime imprisonment—besides the fact that he's not capable of it. "Leave me alone." He appeals one last time. Dammit, now he missed half the song.
"Are the rumors true?" Stop just keeps talking. "That you and Boss are dating or sumthin'."
Noeul gives up. Who was he kidding? This guy wouldn't know what he's saying even if he's speaking Thai.
He gets up from where he was seated on the grass, brushing off stray blades on his pants. And after giving it some serious thought, he mutters, "No...I guess not." He all but whispers that last part.
"Oh, yeah? Then...there won't be any problem if you and I go to the festival together." Stop says then to which Noeul shoots him a look that's practically asking, "Seriously?" After everything Stop did to him in the past, the two of them going to the festival—or what's left of it—together is just plain weird.
Noeul shakes his head. "I'm going home."
"Wait!" Stop blocks his way but not really in a hostile manner, more like in an annoyingly playful way.
Noeul clicks his tongue, trying to walk past him. A gush of wind passes in that moment and Noeul gets dirt in his eyes, causing him to yelp and bring a hand up to his face.
"Oi, what happened to you?" Stop asks, getting a bit too close to Noeul and reaching out. That's when his hand is swatted away and both he and Noeul are surprised to see Boss who practically growls, "What are you doing?"
Obviously, he's misunderstanding but given Stop's track record, it's understandable. "Calm down, will you?" Stop scoffs. "I'm not doing anything. Right, Noeul?"
Noeul's too surprised to answer right away plus he's not so sure about that because Stop was bothering him a bit. But he doesn't want the two boys to fight—again. And so, he replies, "He wasn't doing anything wrong. I just got dirt in my eye."
Boss visibly simmers down at this although he remains wary of the other male.
"See?" Stop taunts. "And what are you even doing here? You haven't been coming to school but then, you just pop out of nowhere when you're not wanted. Go home, Boss. Noeul already agreed to go to the festival with me."
Noeul's eyes widen scandalously and he opens his mouth to protest but for a moment, he hesitates. Because the last time they were together, Boss really hurt his pride. And he doesn't want to look even more pathetic by revealing that he was all alone.
But at the same time, he doesn't want to go with Stop.
His brief silence makes Boss think all sorts of things. Did Noeul really agree to go with Stop? Is this some form of revenge? Or is he really moving forward from Boss since he's been MIA lately, leaving his spot in Noeul's life—and heart—vacant.
When Stop sees an opening, he grabs the chance. "Let's go, Noeul." He says, reaching for Noeul's hand but Boss grabs it before he can and drags Noeul away.
"Ch-chaikamon, wait." Noeul protests albeit much less strongly than if it were Stop pulling him. And for sometime, neither say anything. Boss just pulls Noeul and the latter sort of lets him given he's still dazed.
Is this real? Is this really Boss? And just now, was he...jealous? Noeul's heart is thumping and his head, spinning. And the same goes for Boss, partly because he's furious but also because he's still running a fever and only forced himself to come here to check on Noeul...and this is what he sees?
He's angry, so angry.
"Where are we going?" Noeul finally asks after they've been walking for sometime. And as if only realizing it now, that he has no direction in mind, Boss stops abruptly but without letting go of Noeul's hand.
"Noeul..." Boss utters weakly that it's barely audible. Noeul doesn't answer but listens. "Were you...really going with him?" Boss asks. After believing for sometime now that Noeul's feelings for him are mostly due to Ple's heart, he's suddenly insecure and scared Noeul will just wake up one morning and no longer feels the same.
"That's it?" Noeul asks back, a hint of irritation in his voice. He wished Boss would explain himself instead or tell him what he wants to happen to them but instead, he's getting interrogated again.
"I didn't, okay?" Noeul grits through his teeth. "If that's all, then I'm going." He tries to break free from Boss' grip by using his other hand but the moment he grabs Boss' arm, Noeul's taken aback by his temperature. He's burning up—literally.
"Chaikamon, why are you-" But when he takes a closer look at the taller male, he sees the beads of sweat forming at his temples and his furrowed brows indicating he's in pain or uncomfortable. "Why did you come if you're this sick?" Noeul almost shouts but it's out of alarm and concern.
At this, Boss, who can barely keep himself steady, just leans onto the smaller boy and speaks with an unintentional lack of filter as he doesn't have the strength to even keep his guard up. "I just wanted to see you."
And Noeul would have to be made of stone for that not to rip his heart open just when he thought it was starting to close its doors.
~~~
He brings Boss to Fort's dorm; it was closer. Then, he just shoots Peat a message, telling him what happened and where he is so the other doesn't worry.
He supports Boss' weight as he lays him down gently on the couch. Then Noeul goes to the kitchen, looking for a towel and a bowl or a basin that he can fill with water. He's never been here before so it takes a little while but he's going as fast as he can.
When he comes back, Boss looks as though he's falling in and out of sleep with his brows still crooked. He's constantly turning his head from left to right and vice versa and his shirt is now clinging to his body from sweat.
"Chaikamon..." Noeul calls softly to which Boss cracks an eye half open. "I brought a wet towel. You need to wipe yourself down to reduce your fever."
But Boss just shakes his head weakly; he either doesn't want to or can't. Either way, Noeul isn't taking no for an answer. "I'll do it then." He gently warns before starting to unbutton Boss' shirt then opening it wide so he can dab the damp cloth on his body.
Boss' skin is hot to the touch and Noeul hates that they're only able to be this close now that Boss is sick. He thinks to himself in that moment that he'd much rather Boss be healthy even if that means he'll avoid Noeul.
Noeul starts tearing up but he quickly wipes it away and focuses on caring for Boss. After repeating this process a few times, his feels Boss' neck and notes that his temperature has reduced slightly much to Noeul's relief.
He makes a move to get up to return the basin in the kitchen. But then, he feels Boss' hand hold onto his wrist. Noeul looks down at him and sees him open his eyes, then he forces himself to sit up, prompting Noeul to set the basin down and help Boss.
"Go back to sleep. You need it." Noeul says sternly, still trying to keep some distance. But at this, Boss shakes his head and mumbles, "You'll leave if I do." And that makes Noeul's will waver. But he reminds himself that he can't. Because nothing's changed; Boss is just sick. And come morning, he'll push Noeul away again.
"I'll be right outside." Noeul assures him but Boss just shakes his head almost incessantly. He tugs on Noeul's arm, making him sit directly on the couch next to him. And looking at him with hooded eyes, he caresses Noeul's face and whispers to him, "Don't go, Eul."
He brings his hand up to Noeul's forehead, brushing his hair aside as if wanting to see his whole face. "Don't go to Stop." Then he lifts his chin and runs a thumb across Noeul's lips. "Don't go anywhere where I can't see you."
He kisses Noeul weakly but as well as desperately. Boss' lips are warmer than usual, his tongue on fire from his high temperature. Noeul puts his hands on Boss' chest, pushing him away lightly because he can't be sure if this is okay, all things considered.
But Boss just chases his lips and brings Noeul's hands around his neck, closing their distance. He's honestly lightheaded and he doesn't even know if this is reality, if he's really holding Noeul or he's just delirious and seeing things.
But he missed him.
And if this happens to just be an illusion, then all the more Boss doesn't have to think about anything and can just let his deepest desires take over.
Noeul's mind is just as much a blur as Boss' at this point, his lips bruised and swollen from Boss' aggressive nips and sucks. His body feels hot and not just because Boss' chest is pressed up against his, transferring some of his fever heat. But because, deep down and despite everything that's happened, Noeul's feelings for Boss hasn't changed and he's longed to be this close, this intimate with him.
But there's something holding him back. Does Boss even know what he's doing? "Ch-chaikamon." Noeul practically whines, caught between doubt and ecstasy. "Why...why're you doing this?" He asks, not knowing how else to put it.
Why are they doing this when they're on the verge of breaking up, of going back to strangers and hating each other? Why is it so hard for them to stay apart? Why do they always find theirselves tangled in each other's arms each time they try to break free?
But Boss only has one answer to that. "Because I love you." He practically whispers the words into Noeul's mouth before capturing his lips again and again and again until the boy can hardly breathe, let alone protest. And truthfully, Noeul doesn't intend to.
A tear escapes his eye as he lets the words sink in. I love you.
And before he knows it, his lips are trembling and he's sobbing in between every kiss. And when Boss realizes this, he pulls away gently but also abruptly. He takes in Noeul's tears and it makes panic bloom in his chest. Did he force him just now?
"N-noeul, I'm sorry." Boss utters fearfully. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to force-"
But to this, Noeul shakes his head. "It's not that."
"Then why're you crying?" Boss asks just above a whisper, cupping Noeul's face tenderly and making the boy look at him.
"Because..." Those doe eyes flick up to him but this time, there's so much more in them than just curious innocence. Noeul's eyes are filled with longing and passion as he tells Boss then, "I love you too."
And Boss responds with a fervent kiss which Noeul returns, cupping Boss' chiseled jaw as the larger male lays him down on his back, not once breaking their kiss as he did. Boss' body felt hot and heavy on top of Noeul but he's still carrying most of his own weight by propping himself on his knees.
As he explores Noeul's mouth with his tongue, his hands get to work on unbuttoning the boy's school shirt and impatiently running his hands over the smooth stretch of skin once all the buttons have been undone. But then, he feels a long line etched across the boy's chest under his fingertips and Boss pulls away to look at it.
It's where Noeul's heart was removed and replaced with Ple's. It's a symbol of an ongoing crisis inside of Boss but also, Noeul's greatest battle scar, a proof of his resilience and adds to his uniqueness.
Noeul watches him trace the line, the permanent embossing on his skin that's an ugly shade of reddish brown and he asks, "Does it bother you?"
But to this, Boss utters a breathy 'no' before going back to trace the scar but this time, with his lips then his tongue. Noeul throws his head back, feeling a different kind of high from knowing Boss desires every inch of him including the parts that aren't so pretty.
He used to hide his scar from everyone, even himself. He hated seeing it; it reminded him of all the struggles he had to endure for a life others lived without much effort. But now, he might just start to treasure it because it'll serve as a reminder that all his hardships had amounted to something.
He experienced things he's only ever seen in movies, he made friends and most of all, he met Boss. And even though the scar won't fade, Noeul feels he can finally let go of his brutal past and focus on the present and maybe even...the future.
~~~
To be continued...