Present
I don't know who announced Charlotte as cupid, because I thought he'd be looking like a baby wearing a diaper and aiming arrows at people, but apparently Cupid is a tall woman with gorgeous hair with a big rock on her finger. I'm just trying to avoid her arrows.
At breakfast we're informed that we're going to play a game together before the other guests arrive and we split up for the bachelorette and bachelor party. While we helped them set the game up, Charlotte's brother, Francesco, came up to me.
He caught me struggling with my task of getting clothes out of the bag and scattering around the lawn. It should be the easiest thing in the world, but my eyes were on Charles who was still talking to the girl from last night. As soon as he came up to me, grabbing the bag of clothes from me, I caught myself and I felt my face heating up as he looked between me and the subject of my attention.
"Ti sta rendendo geloso?" Is he making you jealous? he asks.
"No," I reply, shaking my head and putting a smile on my face as I watch him take the clothes out of the bag and throw them around.
"Ci sta provando?" Is he trying to? he asks
"No," I repeat. I shrug and shake my head, "non credo," I don't think so.
Francesco laughs and looks over his shoulder, finding his sister and then he turns back to look at me.
"Qualcuno sembra pensarla così," Someone seems to think so.
I look over at Charlotte, who is helping someone with another part of the game. I scoff and shake my head again. Of course she's been talking about it. But when I look up at Charles, I meet his eyes. He is looking over at us, and then focuses his attention on the other girl. Is he trying to make me jealous? Of course he wouldn't. Not this long after. We're past that.
"Sarò sincero... Charlotte mi ha chiesto di aiutarti a farlo ingelosire in cambio... in un modo davvero non inquietante. Chi sono io per dire di no durante la settimana del suo matrimonio?" I'll be honest... Charlotte asked me to help you make him jealous in return... in a really non-creepy way. Who am I to say no during her wedding week?
My face gives him a mortified expression, "Non è necessario... davvero. Non ho bisogno di far ingelosire Charles," It's not necessary... really. I don't need to make Charles jealous, I reply as soon as I can form the words. "Tra me e lui è finita, anche se a Charlotte non piace," It's over between me and him, even if Charlotte doesn't like it.
"Allora perché guarda qui ogni trenta secondi?" So why is he looking over here every thirty seconds? he asks, raising his eyebrows.
"Non lo so," I don't know, I reply, looking over at Charles who is acting like he wasn't just looking in our direction.
He wouldn't try to make me jealous, we're too mature now.
But would it hurt to see if he would be? If he's actually trying then it's just a taste of his own medicine. Is it really worth it though? I'm over him, so wasting my time on something as stupid as that would be pointless. Charles looked over again and Francesco put his hand on my shoulder.
"Ridi come se avessi appena detto qualcosa di veramente divertente," Laugh like I just said something really funny, Francesco says again, and for some reason I listen to him and give him my best fake laugh while he begins telling a fake story.
"Questo sicuramente non funzionerà," This definitely won't work, I say while I still fake laugh.
"Oh lo farà, dagli un po' di tempo," Oh it will, give him some time, he replies.
We're gathered by the pool, and I stand next to Francesco even though something tells me that I'm making a huge mistake giving in to play this game. So what if Charles is trying to make me jealous? He's not succeeding, so why would I do something like this? It's stupid, and my feelings are confirmed when I see the smirk on Charlotte's face as she looks over at me.
They take a black board out where they have divided us into teams. Lo and behold, my name is on there, written right next to Charles' name. She's been taking her new role as cupid very seriously, I can tell.
Charles and I exchange a look before we walk over to stand next to each other as we're on the same team. Both our eyes widen when she pulls out a box, informing us that we will all have different challenges besides the challenges in the game. The first team has to wear blind folds the whole time. Arthur and Carla weren't allowed to speak. One team couldn't hear. In another team, only one person could use their hands. Charles and I, lord have mercy, widened our eyes when Charlotte walked over with handcuffs, telling us we had to be handcuffed to each other the whole time.
"Ragazzi, avete abbastanza esperienza con questi per gestirli, giusto?" You guys have enough experience with these to handle them, right? She smirks as she takes our hands and locks them together, meeting my eyes to leave me a wink. I reply with a sarcastic smile.
The first thing we do when she tells us to go to our stations, is that we walk in different directions, immediately slamming back into each other. We exchange a silent look before nodding in the direction of a station before walking over.
Oh boy.
Our first task is to get into a damn sack together and make it to the finish line first. Charles and I don't strategise much, sparing ourselves the problems we'd face. We just get straight to the point of getting into the bag, noticing just how our positions are really awkward whatever we try to do. Either my hand is in a place it shouldn't be, or he's going to press into me from behind everytime he tries to jump. We try to stand a bit more next to each other, but there isn't much space.
The race starts, and we fall behind pretty quickly. Even the blind pair is quicker than us towards the finish line. Charles, the sore loser he is, immediately starts cursing under his breath. We really try our best, but we finish third last.
Charles steps out of the bag, pissed, and forgets he's attached to me so I kind of fly with him and into him, hitting my cheek on his shoulder. I grunt and put my hand on my cheek, having his hand fly up with mine.
"Désolé," Sorry, he says, finally speaking. He uses his free hand to remove my hand and he looks at my cheek as if it was going to leave a mark.
I push his hand away, "C'est bon, tu n'es pas si vif," It's okay, you're not that sharp, I reply, starting to laugh at how it seemed like an insult. He chuckled as well. "Mais peut-être devrions-nous trouver un plan..." But maybe we should come up with a plan, I suggest, considering I wouldn't want to run into him again.
He looked at our arms locked together and then he laughed while he shook his head to himself, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Laisse à Charlotte le soin de nous mettre dans cette situation," Leave it to Charlotte to put us in this situation, he laughed.
I laughed too, just as Charlotte yelled for us to keep up with the rest of the group. Charles and I walked up to the second station, which included a game of pictionary. We were paired with Arthur and Carla, who weren't allowed to speak. There was a box of words that relate to the couple, and we were supposed to draw them and guess them.
Arthur and Carla had to write the words when they guessed each other's words. Charles and I had to stay together, while he drew, my left arm kept following his movements, but when I drew, at least he could just stand there, though pretty close. He was screaming words into my ear until I had to turn to him and tell him to use his inside voice as if he was a child.
Of course, being able to speak gave us an advantage, so Charles and I won that round. Then we moved on to the part I set up. This round we had to find the clothes scattered on the grass, and then dress up to look the most ready for a wedding. We had one minute to get dressed, and we were all doing it at the same time.
Charles and I didn't have the time to think of a game plan, so we immediately started running in different directions and ended up falling on our asses. We had to get up, and we ran to get clothes, trying to get each other as dressed as possible. We couldn't get shirts on properly, and I found a white blazer that I could only get on one arm and then it had to hang off my other shoulder. I got a skirt that Charles helped me get on before we found a pair of pants for him, which was difficult for the both of us. They started counting down from ten, and I took a tie off the ground and I quickly put it around his neck. He took a big ridiculous hat off someone else's hat and he put it on my head.
We stood there, waiting to be judged by Charlotte and Lorenzo. Charles and I could barely hold our laughter while we looked at each other. We still did a pretty decent job, and we were voted one of the top three which gave us five points.
The fourth station included polaroid cameras and a list of things we needed to take pictures with. The first one to finish the whole list got ten points and then it keeps going down in points. Charles and I had no option but to take pictures with each the others could take turns. We had to take a lot of selfies for this list.
The first one was a picture with the wedding arch, the other one quickly got more awkward when we had to fake a proposal. The first thing I did was suggest that I was the one on one knee, so Charles took a selfie while I was on one knee, pretending to hold a ring. The next step was to get a photo with something new, something blue, something old and something borrowed.
We took a picture with my bridesmaids dress as something new, the ocean as something blue, an old painting in the house as something old, and then we took a champagne bottle from the kitchen and took a picture with it as something borrowed. We ran back, and to our disappointment, Arthur and Carla beat us back. We still got points, they just got more points than us.
The final station, we had five minutes to decorate a small cake. There was frosting and decorations set up for us, and as soon as we were told to start, Charles ran. Being cuffed together really made this whole ordeal a lot harder. Our hands were in the way of each other and we were constantly pulling on each other's arms. It caused us to drop quite a lot of stuff, and at one point I got so frustrated I just turned to him and smeared some frosting on his face while I told him to shut up. He was so shocked by my actions that he shut up for a moment, then took the bag of frosting and used it to put frosting on my nose.
Fair play, so I couldn't get mad, I just took the bag back and I finished the cake.
Our cake didn't look good, but it looked decent. Charles didn't think we got enough points to give it justice, but I thought it was realistic, considering it was falling apart and we looked like we had dipped our faces into the cake at some point.
Much to Charles' disappointment, we didn't win. He complained and whined about it, but I was just happy that the game was over, and I waited for Charlotte to come and let us out of the handcuffs. Charles dragged me along with him like a dog while he talked to people about how unfair he thought it was, because he's that sore of a loser.
"Tu as l'air de t'amuser," You look like you're having fun, Arthur says as he comes up to us, having an amused smile on his face. I smile sarcastically at him, and then see Charlotte further away, waving her over.
She comes over and she digs through her pockets while she smiles, "Anche se sarebbe divertente tenerti legato, ti lascerò uscire perché sembri infelice," Even though it would be fun to keep you tied up, I'm going to let you out because you look miserable.
She keeps digging through her pockets, and I wait for her to take the key out. Charles has now turned to us as well, watching Charlotte get more frantic as she digs through her pockets. I feel a bit of panic as she starts to look a bit more panicked. She runs over to Lorenzo, who follows her back to us. He also digs through his pockets, and it seems to me like they have lost the key.
They have lost the key that will let us get away from each other.
"Sei serio?" Are you serious? I ask flatly.
"Prometto che non ti sto facendo uno scherzo, era nella mia tasca," I promise I'm not playing a trick on you, it was in my pocket, Charlotte replies, looking around in the grass.
Arthur bursts out laughing, and even Lorenzo seems to think it's funny, laughing as he looks at both Charles and I with our arms still locked together. Charles and I exchange a look of concern, and then we start looking in the grass. We start looking everywhere we remember seeing Charlotte from the moment she locked us together. We get everyone else to also look for it, but to no avail. After twenty minutes, people start to give up on it, while Charles and I try to figure out what to do.
"C'è una specie di sega da queste parti?" Is there some kind of saw around here? I ask, being sick of the constant pulling on my wrist.
"Et que devrions-nous en faire? Nous couper les mains?" And what should we do with that? Cut our hands off? Charles asks, now frustrated as well.
"Coupez la chaîne entre nous jusqu'à ce qu'ils trouvent la clé!" Cut the chain between us until they find the key! I reply, pulling my arm to the side to remind him of the chain keeping us together like this.
"Ne m'oblige pas à sonner la cloche," Don't make me get the bell, Arthur warns, regarding our tones getting more and more frustratedd.
"Pourquoi ne nous procurez-vous pas plutôt quelque chose qui puisse nous sortir de là?" Why don't you get us something that can get us out of these instead? I spit in return.
"De quoi j'ai l'air? Une sorte de sorcier? la clé est partie!" What do I look like? Some type of wizard? the key is gone! Arthur replies.
"Ok, Francesco sta andando all'aeroporto a prendere degli ospiti, gli chiederò di trovare qualcosa che ti aiuti a uscire da quelli" Okay, Francesco is on his way to the airport to pick up some guests, I'll ask him to find something to help you get out of those, Charlotte says before she puts her phone to her ear and walks away.
Charles and I sigh, none of us are happy with the situation. We were fine with being stuck together when it was for the game. Now we're both just stuck here while we should be preparing for the different parties about to be held in the evening. I should be helping out in the kitchen, preparing the food and snacks for us girls, but now I'm stuck with Charles, who probably has something to do for his brother's party.
"C'est un peu drôle quand même" It's a little funny though, Lorenzo laughs as he looks at us.
I want to cross my arms over my chest, but then Charles' arm is pulled with mine, so I leave them both hanging. Instead I shake my head and I roll my eyes, because it may be funny to everyone else, but I don't find it even slightly amusing.
"Oh allez, ça ne fait qu'une heure, vous passiez bien plus de temps ensemble que ça," Oh come on, it's only an hour, you guys used to spend way more time together than that, Arthur argues as he sees my reaction.
"Alors tu seras coincé avec lui," Then you be stuck with him, I shoot back.
"Je ne suis pas si mauvais," I'm not that bad, Charles defends himself, even though it wasn't meant as an insult to him. I just don't want to be stuck to anyone, and being stuck to my ex feels just slightly awkward. Especially considering he probably has another girl he probably would like to talk to instead.
"Tu ne te serais pas plaint si c'était en 2019," You wouldn't have been complaining if it was 2019, Arthur says.
"Mais ce n'est pas!" But it's not!
"Non, ce n'est pas le cas, mais nous sommes amis donc ça ne devrait pas être si grave pour toi," No, it's not, but we're friends so it shouldn't be that bad for you, Charles raises his voice, pulling his arm back which gets me closer to him. He puts a hand on my waist to keep pushing me further from Arthur who I had subconsciously been getting closer to as I got more and more pissed at him.
The way he touches my waist makes me react. I feel as if I'm shrinking under his gaze which is now closer. My body nearly reacts to the touch alone, even though the tone he's speaking in isn't exactly a positive one. I take my hand and I get his hand off of me.
My eyes dart back to Arthur who has his eyebrows raised at me, as if he's expecting me to start yelling at him again. I don't even get the chance before Charles starts walking away, harshly pulling me with him. I nearly have to jog by his side as he walks us both towards our little apartment we share with Arthur and Carla.
"Suis-je vraiment si mauvais pour rester là pendant une heure?" Am I really that bad to be around for an hour? He asks, sounding a lot more pissed than I thought he would. Yes, my reaction probably would have offended me if I was him, but I also can't stand Arthur pushing it like this when he's the one who set an ultimatum that I am working my ass off to deal with. "Est-ce vraiment si grave d'être coincé avec moi pendant une heure?" Is it really that bad to be stuck with me for one hour? he asks, stopping abruptly, placing himself in front of me with one finger in front of my face.
"Bien sûr que non, mais je-" Of course not, but I-
"Tu quoi? Tu ne peux pas faire comme si de rien n'était pendant une heure pour nous éviter des ennuis? Pour rendre cela moins insupportable qu'il ne l'est déjà?" You what? You can't pretend like we never happened for one hour to save us some trouble? To make this less insufferable than it already is?
I shove his hand out of my face, pissed that he wouldn't let me finish my sentence. I look over my shoulder, seeing Arthur and Carla with their backs turned, thank God. He can't see us arguing like this, then it's over for me. Then I turn back to him.
"Non, je ne peux pas prétendre que cela ne s'est pas produit, car c'est le cas. Mais c'est tellement loin du sujet. Arthur nous teste tous les deux, voyant combien de temps il nous faut pour discuter et il parie là-dessus! Je suis énervé qu'il aime ça, et ce n'est pas idéal d'être coincé avec quelqu'un, ce n'est pas personnel!" No I can't pretend like we didn't happen, because we did. But that's so far from the point. Arthur is testing us both, seeing how long it takes for us to argue and he's betting on it! I'm pissed at him enjoying this, and it's not ideal to be stuck to anyone, it's not personal! I whisper harshly before I walk around him and I start pulling him with me so that Arthur won't see this. "Mais peut-être qu'on ne devrait pas parler, puisque tu trouves ça tellement insupportable." But maybe we shouldn't talk, since you think it's so insufferable.
He sighs as I pull him through the door and up the stairs, "Je ne le pensais pas comme ça," I didn't mean it like that, he says with a heavy sigh
I stop in the middle of the stairs, turning back to him, "D'accord, alors qu'est-ce que tu voulais dire? Parce que tu viens de dire que tu penses que c'est insupportable." Okay, then how did you mean it? Because you just said you think this is insufferable.
He stared at me, and I saw his shoulders fall as he let out a sigh. I gave a quick nod before I continued up the stairs, pulling him with me even though I wish I could leave him there and slam the door. We get into the apartment, and I head for the couch, when he stops in his tracks which abruptly stops me too. Tiredly, I turn to him.
"Nous avons dit que nous ne partirions pas avec des visages amers," We said we wouldn't walk away with sour faces, he says.
"Je ne peux pas vraiment m'en aller, n'est-ce pas?" I can't really walk away, can I? I reply, bringing our hands up between us, reminding him of the fact we're both very much aware of.
"Nous savons tous les deux que tu partirais si nous n'étions pas collés ensemble," We both know you would be walking away if we weren't stuck together.
It pains me too much to admit that he's right, but he knows that I know he's right, so I'm not going to lie to him. I just stay silent, staring at him with a flat look on my face. I don't know what he wants me to say. So I just shrug while I shake my head, opening my mouth just to close it again, and repeating that a few times before giving up.
"Je suis désolé de t'avoir fait sentir que c'était insupportable d'être dans cette situation, ce n'est pas idéal mais..." I'm sorry for making you feel like it was unbearable to be in this situation, it's not ideal but... I say when I finally get over myself, "Ça pourrait être pire," It could be worse.
"Je suis désolé d'avoir dit que c'était insupportable... Je ne voulais pas dire que je... pensais juste que tu pensais que ça l'était," I'm sorry I said it was unbearable... I didn't mean that I... just thought you thought it was.
I nodded, and I put a smile on my face, not so much because I felt like smiling, but because I don't want to be accused of walking away with a sour face. I could never be mad at him anyway. He knows that.
What I would normally do in a situation like this, is walk away. It feels too awkward to think of something to say. It's a conversation ender. We're supposed to walk away and come back later and be able to talk like normal again. But now we have to force a conversation because we're quite literally stuck together and have no choice.
Finding the silence too awkward, I quickly turn around and I start walking towards the couch again. He obediently follows me and sits down on the couch with me. We put the TV on and we watch it in silence. Awkward silence if you ask me, but I don't know what to say, and I do believe it might be easier for the both of us if we don't start talking. Who knows what kind of argument we could find to have if we spend too much time talking.
What would I say anyway? Ask her about the girl he's talking so much to? I'm not good at thinking on my feet, at least not when it comes to small talk. At least when it's Charles.
"Je déteste ça," I hate this, he says after a little while. My head snaps in his direction, and he keeps looking straight ahead. "Ça ne devrait pas être si gênant entre nous," It shouldn't be so awkward between us, he adds.
Well, does he know that he just made it more awkward? Does he really want to get into the awkwardness and the reason for it when we're stuck together like this? I know I don't.
"Je ne pense pas que ce soit si gênant," I don't think it's that awkward, I reply with a shrug. He replies with a chuckle and a shake of his head, cocking his eyebrows as he clearly doesn't agree. "Dire que c'est gênant ne fera que le rendre gênant," Saying it's awkward will only make it awkward, I say as he clearly doesn't seem to get why I always dismiss these kinds of conversations.
"Toute la semaine tu évites le sujet de nous deux comme si c'était la peste," All week you avoid the subject of the two of us like it's the plague.
"Oui parce qu'à chaque fois qu'on parle de nous deux, ça se termine par une énorme bagarre et je ne peux pas risquer ça," Yes because every time we talk about the two of us it ends in a huge fight and I can't risk that, I reply.
Charles presses his lips together as he looks at me in silence for a moment. "Il y avait plus pour nous que le mal," There was more to us than the bad.
"Oui, mais dernièrement, nous avons fait en sorte que le mal éclipse le bien," Yes, but lately we've made the bad overshadow the good, I reply, hearing a bit of sadness in my voice that I immediately want to go away.
"Nous pourrions changer cela... mais vous refusez de parler d'aucun aspect de toi et moi," We could change that... but you refuse to talk about any aspect of you and me, he says, turning towards me on the couch.
I shake my head, using my index finger to scratch my eyebrow, because I'm uncomfortable and I wish I could walk away from this conversation, but wherever I go he follows. I was thinking that if I don't reply, then maybe he won't push it anymore and shut up.
"Tu évitez ces conversations parce que vous avez toujours utilisé la répression comme mécanisme de défense," You avoid these conversations because you have always used repression as a defense mechanism, he says, making me furrow my brows as my head snap in his direction.
"As-tu lu un livre de psychologie pour débutants en venant ici?" Did you read a book about psychology for beginners on your way here? I ask with a following scoff. "Et je ne réprime rien, je ne veux juste pas en parler," And I'm not repressing anything, I just don't want to talk about it.
"Est-ce parce que cela vous met en colère? Triste, peut-être?" Is it because it makes you angry? Sad, maybe? he asks, mocking the voice of a psychologist or a therapist or whatever.
"Non, Charles-" I say, holding warning finger up between us, "Arrêt, Ne prétendez pas être une sorte de thérapeute," Stop, don't pretend to be some type of therapist.
"Peut-être que vous évitez certaines conversations parce que vous trouvez les sentiments à l'intérieur-" Maybe you avoid certain conversations because you find the feelings inside- he doesn't get further than that before I use a pillow on the couch to slam it into his face, making him laugh. "C'est normal d'être intimidé par ces sentiments..." It's okay to be intimidated by these feelings... he continues while he chokes back a laugh.
I put my hands over my ears to not hear the end of that sentence, as I'm cringing enough without hearing the end of it. He laughs and then leans over closer to me and talks louder, continuing to tell me random shit that sounds like something he picked up from a school book about a beginners class in psychology. I try to lean further away from me, but since he's stuck to me he just follows.
"S'en aller!" Go away! I shout.
"Je ne peux pas!" I can't! He shouts back.
Moments later, Charles flinches before leaning back and giving me my own space back. Through my hands covering my ears I can still hear the awful bell that I bet is being rung by Arthur. Proving me right, he walks into the room with furrowed brows as he looks between the two of us. I take my hands off my ears when he stops ringing the bell.
"Était-ce une dispute?" Was it an argument? he asks suspiciously.
"Non!" Charles and I reply in unison.
Arthur scoffs, "Ça me fait mal de dire qu'ils ont trouvé la clé dans l'herbe," It pains me to say that they found the key in the grass, he sighs.
Charles and I fly up from the couch and we hurry past Arthur and down the stairs. By the back door into the main house, is Charlotte. We hurry up to her and she shows us the key with a smile on her face. Lorenzo shows up by her side and before she gets to unlock the handcuffs, he chuckles.
"On devrait les laisser comme ça tout l'après midi," We should leave them like that all afternoon, he says.
"Ce serait amusant, mais j'ai en quelque sorte besoin de son aide pour les préparatifs," It would be fun, but I kind of need her help with the preparations, Charlotte replies as she turns the keys and they loosen around our wrists so that we can take them off.
I let out a sigh of relief, because we made it through that without a big fight and we're both still on speaking terms. Also, now I can walk away from him whenever he says something outrageous like 'defense mechanism' to me again.
"Francesco veut te parler, il sera de retour dans environ une demi-heure," Francesco wants to talk to you, he'll be back in about half an hour, Charlotte says with a smile that is definitely not just a regular smile, as she looks at me and links her arm with mine to lead me away.
I wish I didn't see Charles' head turn to us when she said that. Is he just his regular nosy self, or am I crazy enough to think that what Francesco told me this morning might actually hold some truth.
If it does, what the hell does that mean, and how do I make it go away?
//
But like... who doesn't use repression?