⭐️“Sometimes you have to make peace with the fact that you are the villain in someone else’s story. Even if you thought you were doing the right thing. You don’t get to tell people how to narrate their experience.”⭐️
___
I keep pressing on Lisa's name on my phone and hanging up again.
I need to talk to someone, I've been on the brink of tears ever since I got home.
I may have put on a brave face today, but it was a very fragile one. I just want to hide under the blanket and spend my evening crying.
I cried enough over my parents' death to know that it doesn't change anything, except making you sink deeper into sadness. Especially if you're alone.
I decide on calling my friend. I let it ring for a moment and fall on her voicemail box.
I press my phone against my chest and stare at the ceiling.
I feel lonely. So lonely...
I curl up on the sofa and look out at the clear night sky. I slowly pull up my little blanket.
I guess I look a state. I must even look scary. I shudder.
A tear pearls on my cheek, then another. I sniff.
Suddenly my phone rings, it's Lisa calling back. I hesitate for a moment before picking up.
Lisa: "Hey, there sweetie!"
Lexi: "Hello..."
My voice is shaky, unrecognizable.
Lisa: "...Is everything okay?"
The dreaded question, one that should never be asked when things aren't good.
Lexi: "No, it's not."
The last word gets caught in a hiccup caused by my sobbing.
Lisa: "Oh... what's wrong gorgeous? Is it that Jenny who got you in this state?"
I feel Lisa ready to put on her armor to avenge me.
Lexi: "No..."
Lisa: "Ryan...?"
Lexi: "Yes..."
This time, my voice distorts pathetically.
Lisa: "You want me to come round? I can catch a bus and in half an hour I'm with you."
I don't want her to see me in this state. It could get her worried.
Lexi: "No... I just wanted to have you on the phone."
I can tell that she disapproves but she doesn't insist.
Lisa: "Well... what happened?"
Lexi: "It's so pitiful that I'm almost ashamed to tell you."
Lisa: "Sweetie... You know you can tell me anything."
I sigh half crying. My mobile's screen is soaking as well as my blanket.
Lexi: "The place where he took me the first time, where I thought it was his home..."
I pause. I close my eyes trying to control my sobs.
Lexi: "It was his bachelor pad. A place where he takes them all! It's not where he really lives..."
Lisa: "Oh no..."
Lexi: "I couldn't believe it, either. I really didn't think he was that kind of man."
Lisa: "Did he explain?"
Lexi: "He tried to, but I really didn't want to listen to him."
Lisa: "Did you find out last night?"
Lexi: "Yeah..."
Lisa: "Why didn't you tell me about it today?"
Lexi: "I thought I could manage, I thought wrong. Anyway, I didn't want to spoil your day at work with my love life."
Lisa: "What are you going to do, about the job?"
Lexi: "I don't know... I don't want to quit, but at the same time it's really hard..."
Lisa: "Did you talk to him about it?"
Lexi: "He apologized and he doesn't seem to want me to leave."
Lisa: "Yeah..."
Lexi: "You were right Lisa... I should never have ventured on that ground with him."
She lets out a little bitter laugh.
Lisa: "If our heart's always pushed us down the right tracks, it'd be too easy!"
She manages to force a smile out of me despite my state.
Lexi: "Tomorrow there's an opening ceremony, he wants me to be there."
Lisa: "Will you?"
Lexi: "I think so. I don't want to give him the satisfaction of letting it drop, or that he thinks I had feelings for him."
Lisa: "I think it would be wise for you to rest."
Lexi: "I don't want to seem weak... I already cried in Jake's arms yesterday."
Lisa: "You should have called me!"
I remain silent for a moment and I hear Lisa sigh on the other end of the line.
It looks like we're going to be talking for a long time, probably a good part of the night. But she's the only one who manages to relieve the pain a little...
...
When I arrive at the top of the building, a security guard, as friendly as a prison door, asks me for my invitation card.
I hand it to him without taking offense. All day long I wondered whether I'd show up or not.
After spending all morning lying in bed, I got a grip on myself and ended up getting ready in the late afternoon.
No way was I going to let him see me dragging myself around, looking defeated. I put on some makeup and I slipped on a beautiful evening dress.
And then, it's for me more than anything else. I don't want to let myself go, just because a man turned my heart into confetti.
I go to the roof, after showing the inside of my purse to a security guard. Actually, the security tonight is increased for a simple opening ceremony.
But I guess in that in the hi-tech field one is used to being careful.
There are quite a lot of people on the roof of the building. Several small groups of two to five people have already formed.
A man with a bow tie hands me a flute of champagne. He smiles at me politely, before presenting his tray to another guest.
I'm looking for a familiar person...
I stretch my neck out and scan the place, in search of Jake. He told me he'd be here tonight but I can't see Ryan about. They can't have arrived yet...
Feeling a little alone, I decide to approach the edge and watch the big apple by night.
From here, seeing its imposing, lit buildings, it's even more impressive. It looks like the rumbling belly of an enormous monster...
Mark: "Lexi! You look stunning tonight!"
As I turn around, I'm happy to find Mark. A big smile illuminates his face.
Lexi: "Mark! How are you?"
Mark: "Good and you?"
Lexi: "I'm okay. I started looking for you earlier but with this crowd... Do you know what it's about exactly?"
Mark: "Carter Corporation has acted as a mentor for the start-up that is inaugurating these premises today."
Lexi: "Oh..."
It seems as if Carter is everywhere at once!
Mark: "Normally we should have visited their laboratory after Mr. Carter's speech but..."
We're interrupted by a lady who warmly greets Mark. I glance around through the crowd and see Jake standing by the entrance, his arms folded across his chest.
I get a sharp jolt to the heart. As if I was zapped by electricity.
If Jake is here, his boss must be here too... The prospect of running into him makes me feverish.
I move towards Jake. I see him glance at his watch several times and nervously look around.
He's frowning, looking tense.
Lexi: "Hi, Jake."
His worried eyes meet with mine. He relaxes almost immediately.
Jake: "Hi Lexi, you... er... you look beautiful."
Lexi: "I've come back from the dead!"
He gives me a faint smile, then his eyes scrutinize the people around as if he were watching oil on fire.
Lexi: "Is something wrong? You look worried?"
A big man, in a black suit, approaches him. He whispers something in his ear, then he leaves as discreetly as he came.
Jake types something on his phone before looking back at me.
Jake: "There's a lot of people here tonight and it worries me. I don't like it."
Lexi: "You should relax a little, it's just an opening ceremony! What can go wrong?"
He stays quiet.
Lexi: "Does it have anything to do with that car that was following us the other night?"
He glances again at his phone, arranges his earpiece and puts a hand on my shoulder.
Jake: "I have to ensure security with the rest of the team, Lexi. The speech is any minute now, go have a drink."
In other words, kindly shut it.
I pout as I watch him walk away. Mark is still in discussion with the lady. A man has joined them.
I wonder a little about this security thing. What kind of business manager needs several security agents to ensure his protection?
It's a speech for a New York start-up, not a political intervention in a trouble area...
I make my way through the crowd overhearing some conversations.
People talking about marketing performance, financial investment, mergers, are and acquisitions or being successful in innovation.
There are undoubtedly very big business players present here today and a conversation with any one of them would be very interesting.
It's a little frustrating not knowing anyone. I wonder for an instant why Ryan asked me to come here...
I go and stand in a corner, folding my arms across my chest. The evening air is refreshing, making me shudder slightly.
Unless it's the expectation of seeing Ryan that's making me nervous...
Suddenly someone taps on the microphone, a young man of about thirty speaks.
He presents himself as the director of the start-up that is organizing the evening. He has the looks of a dynamic young executive.
A Hugo Boss suit, black-pointed waxed shoes, a perfect hairstyle and a newly shaven beard.
Not at all my style. The metrosexual type has never been my thing...
He already seems quite comfortable talking to a large audience. Looks as though he'll go far! No doubt that's why Ryan invested in him.
Speaking of the devil... My heart immediately races as Carter appears at the young man's side.
The latter is now just a pale figure compared to the man who exudes such an incredible aura.
Still as beautiful, Ryan immediately captures people's looks with his feline gait, his penetrating eyes, and his irresistible smile.
I shouldn't let myself be bewitched by his deceiving image. But I can't help it. I've got him under my skin!
The other steps aside. I wonder how much Carter invested in his startup, and a sour smile takes shape on my lips.
Don't worry, sweetie, he's already played his cards right to devour you the day you'll be worth it!
I learned that at my expense, he always gets what he wants!
I watch him: everything seems so studied; Nothing in him is left to chance.
It's as if he was designed to seduce, to manipulate all the poor little souls of this world.
I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!
I start prancing about, sighing. Quick! Let this speech be over with so that I can move on to something else!
A man shoves into me trying to get closer! I almost drop my glass!
Hey! Don't mind me!!
It's crazy how some people can be so impolite! What an idiot!
I give him a dirty look back, but he is already in the midst of the spectators and I quickly lose sight of him.
I try not to listen to Carter's voice... That voice that has so often gained me over. I'd like to forget it completely!
I know I'll get there, one day or another. At least, that's what I say to reassure myself...
All of a sudden, the sound of a gunshot resounds!
What?!
People all around me start screaming!
What's going on?!
For a fraction of a second, I'm totally disorientated. I freeze, stunned!
And then I understand. An ice-cold chill runs down my spine!
The crowd before me turns around and starts moving towards me, like an immense tidal wave, threatening, inevitable.
Quickly, everybody's in a panic! I'm jostled, my bag flies in the air, my glass crashes to the ground! People are running in all directions!
I should run away too, but no, only one thing comes to my mind: Ryan!!
Lexi: "Ryan!!"
I yelled, clenched fists and neck extended. But my voice is covered by the screams of terrified guests!
I see nothing but a terrible chaos of distorted mouths and horrified looks!
As everyone rushes towards the exit, I find the strength to scramble to the podium. I see security guards running!
Others seem to try to contain the madness!
I'm pushed and nudged and I nudge back. I almost fall several times, but nothing comes to stop my chase!
Lexi: "RYAN!!"
I scream almost to breaking point, panicked at the thought that something terrible might have happened to him!
Is he injured? Did somebody shoot at him?!
He's nowhere to be seen!! I'm going to go crazy!
As I come level with the podium, I look for him on all sides, but there's too much of a crowd! As I look around horrified, my eyes meet with the churl's who jostled me just a minute ago.
What I read in his eyes makes my blood curl and I understood at once!
My eyes drift to his left hand. He's carrying a gun!!
Lexi: "IT'S HIM!! STOP HIM!! HE HAS A GUN!!"
I gesture to the security agent whilst stepping back!
A cruel smile stretches across his lips. It's then that he lifts his weapon up at me...
Time seems to stop. A strange impression envelops me. It's as if I'm living the last moments of my life.
My breathing stops, the world seems to alter around me as if I was watching the scene in slow motion.
All of a sudden I feel large familiar hands wrap themselves around my arms as I'm propelled backward.
I hear a gunshot, my head spins, I feel disorientated.
Did I get shot? I can't feel anything. It's as if my body was plunged into a cottony state, like in a trance.
I raise my eyes up at who's holding me in his arms.
Lexi: "Ryan..."
I whispered this, distraught and trembling.
Ryan is holding me firmly against him. I'm clinging to his shirt, my heart beating like mad.
Ryan: "Lexi! You're crazy, don't stay here!"
I examine him as if I were discovering him for the first time and my body relaxes.
I see Jake; He's swooped down on the creep. He's already disarming him! Other agents rush up to him.
Lexi: "Ryan... You... You're not hurt..."
I stagger, the emotion dies down. I feel totally emptied of my energy.
He's supporting me, scanning my body, making sure I'm alright.
Ryan: "What got into you? He could have killed you!"
In his eyes I see for the first time anxiety, but... there is something else.
A spark, a particular emotion that you can only find in the eyes of someone for whom you're important.
I realize how much I care about him in spite of everything!
Lexi: "My god Ryan... I thought that..."
I don't finish my sentence and huddle up against him.
Ryan: "When I saw you scream, alone, in front of that guy, I thought I was going to go crazy. Lexi, why did you do that?!"
I look up at him, my eyes filled with tears.
Does he really have to ask? Does he really have to make me admit it? Do I have to make a fool of myself?
Lexi: "I didn't care what could happen to me. I only thought of you..."
This time he holds me even more tightly up against him. I close my eyes stifling a sob.
He runs a hand through my hair and kisses the top of my head. I breathe in his smell and everything becomes calm again.
I slowly come around. I open my eyes and I see Ryan glance over at his aggressor, now under control.
Then he lifts my chin up, fixing his gaze in mine.
Ryan: "I'm so sorry... I never meant to hurt you... I... I don't deserve you."
I feel that he's sincere and it moves me.
We look lovingly at each other for several minutes, which seem to me to be an eternity.
The agitation around us is still at its height. The aggressor is still here, close by, the security teams are on the alert, but it all seems so secondary!
We are both safe and sound, and that's all that counts.