Hoseok's POV
When I get back home, I drop my work bag on the floor before removing my shoes, then immediately trudge towards the couch where I let myself fall, and a warm lap welcomes my head once I snuggle in nicely with a tired sigh.
A hand slips through my thick hair to massage my scalp and I close my eyes as I finally get to relax in a mate's embrace after this long day of stress and endless work.
"Are you okay, sunshine? You look more exhausted than usual" Seokjin asks as he begins to caress my hair gently, and I hum before snuggling deeper into him, the day's events coming back to mind with a clarity that is almost scary.
"I had lunch together with Y/N and Yoongi at Namjoon's coffee shop like it was planned, and it began great, everyone got along really well, they were adorably shy when they met him - everything was perfect" I begin with a quiet tone as everything replays in my head.
"It really was perfect, until her magick... damn, hyung, she got ice crystals all over her skin and I felt such a deep but muted... fear fill her entire soul at that moment. She was shivering and could barely talk until Yoongi warmed her up with his fire magick" I utter somberly.
"I saw that ice melt into steam from all over her body, as if it had covered every single cells of her being. Ends up that Yoongi is her caregiver and lives with her because her magick could literally kill her at anytime otherwise".
Heads turn our way as those words slip out of my lips, and Seokjin's hand stops moving for a second before he resumes caressing my hair.
"Is she alright now?".
I nod slowly.
"Yeah, she's fine. She took some time to explain her situation to Namjoon and I after we witnessed the whole thing. Her... magick, her ice crystals, it's pretty deviant. It's like it has no conscience whatsoever of how dangerous it is, so it keeps interacting with her without caring about the repercussions that follow up. That's how she lost her legs, and unless Yoongi keeps an eye on her 24/7, she could lose her life next".
Emotions turn upset and scared around me as my mates who are already home process that new knowledge. I would normally soothe them, but I can barely keep calm myself.
I turn my gaze to one of my younger mates with desperation on my face when he enters the living room to sit on the other couch with a warm cup of tea in his hands.
"Did you find anything about why they can't connect to the bond, Tae? It's two of ours who can't feel the bond now, there must be a reason why" I ask him, and he sighs softly before taking a sip.
From the first moment I met Y/N, I instantly knew that she was one of us. I could sense it in the link that united our two magicks, in the pull that brought me to her, but it felt like I was the only one who could feel it so I decided to take it slow for a while, until I could figure out what was happening.
I made sure to teach her all that she needed to keep that job while I'd read everything I could find about silent bonds on the side, but there wasn't much I could find. I hoped that maybe it would fix itself with time, that eventually, she would start to feel the bond, but that was foolish of me.
I could only watch over her that way at the time, but after meeting Yoongi at her house yesterday, another mate who somehow can't feel the bond as well... I knew that I needed to change my plan since clearly, it didn't work in the slightest, though it did get Y/N and I closer.
As two employees working for the same corporation.
"I had to ask around for a bit, but the theory that came back the most was... emotional trauma, mostly having to do with rejection. If they both experienced a negative event in their life that has to do with being rejected, then it's possible that their side of the bond shut the doors as a way to prevent more pain. Chances are that it wasn't even on purpose and that they truly are without mates at the moment, if only in their reality".
Taehyung's deep voice offers a possible explanation to our problem, and Jungkook takes that moment to join us by sitting next to him. He cuddles into our mate's side with a pout on his lips, and Taehyung wraps an arm around his back to pull him closer before staring at me.
"The bond doctors at the clinic said that if we manage to make them fall in love with us, then it might awaken their side of the bond. Meeting everyone in our coven might help too, as long as they feel welcomed. The problem here is that they don't know about the bond".
Jungkook frowns a little before looking up at him. "What's wrong with that? They'll feel it if they fall in love with us, right? I don't see the problem in that, we just need to court them like we did for each other".
Seokjin is the one to answer that question this time, and his gaze is on me as he does.
"Imagine meeting someone who already has mates and is part of a coven. Nothing needs to be said for you to naturally register that you are an outsider in that relationship. They are taken, and they love their mates, which you are not. How would you feel if you started to fall for them?".
My mouth turns dry as I understand what it is that he's trying to say.
"They'd feel bad for feeling that way. They'd keep a distance to get rid of those feelings".
Taehyung nods. "The one good thing right now that goes in our favour is that Y/N and Yoongi live together, and they both assume each other to be without mates. That means that should they fall for each other, there will be no concept of betrayal getting in the way".
Jungkook stares at us one at a time. "Are you saying that until then, we need to keep our distance? We can't court them yet?".
I look at Seokjin and Taehyung at that, because I too want to know what's the right thing to do here.
"Well..." our eldest mate begins with a focused frown. "The way I see it, we don't really gain from distancing ourselves from them. The best thing to do would be to tell them about the bond, then work on getting closer from there. Keeping secrets won't help here".
I bite on my lips before nodding my head slowly. He's right, that's probably what I should've done all those months ago, but I was so scared of messing up that I pushed back the inevitable.
"I'm sorry. If only I'd handled this better... maybe we wouldn't be having this conversation right now" I murmur with guilt weaving into every words spoken, but Seokjin smiles gently before caressing my face with tender love.
"You did your best, Hobi, there's nothing wrong with what you did. If anything, you created a foundation of trust with Y/N, I'm sure that it will make everything a lot easier. You did good, sunshine".
I close my eyes to better bask in his comfort, and my guilt dissipates slowly, the weight over my heart so not heavy anymore.
"Let's tell them after the weekend then. Hoseok can bring them to the coffee shop again since they already know Namjoon, the two of them should be able to handle it well, what do you think?" Taehyung says after thinking about it for a few minutes.
"Aww... but I want to be there when they tell them" Jungkook mumbles quietly, puppy eyes set on all of us to try and tempt us into adapting our plan around his schedule.
He's got classes at the Academy pretty much every day except for the weekends and Wednesdays, so if we wait for him, it's going to take a few more days before we can reveal the truth. Can I focus on work until then? I'm not so sure.
Taehyung pats his waist with an understanding smile.
"Another time, bunny, you can meet them another day, hm? It's important that we don't overwhelm them too much for now, having someone they don't know when learning that they're our mates might make them uncomfortable. It's already going to be a lot for them, they've spent so long being told that they're without mates after all".
Jungkook pouts again, but he nods his head before cuddling Taehyung once more, visibly disappointed, but otherwise able to understand why it wouldn't be wise of us to proceed as he wants.
"Yeah... okay".
"We can let Namjoon know when he comes back later, and then we can see how we should proceed, how does that sound?" Seokjin asks me after kissing my forehead, and I hum before exhaling deeply, glad to have their support like this.
"Yeah, let's do that".
Your POV
As Saturday morning begins with the singing of the usual birds roaming around the surrounding trees, I'm already awake and lying in bed, no strength in my body yet to force myself onto my chair to greet Yoongi who I can already hear moving around in the house.
We were both a bit tensed when we got back home from work yesterday, though it wasn't anything personal. Stress, a good deal of fear and then another sensation that we could barely explain were behind it all, and today feels like sleeping only allowed me a break before resuming its tormenting.
I sigh deeply, already feeling on edge even though nothing happened yet, and I sit up before carefully transferring onto my chair, then get changed into a comfortable outfit so I can go have a look at what the heck that witch is doing at such an early hour.
I open my door and begin to roll down the corridor and into the living room where I see him dusting some surfaces, a frown stuck on his face as he seems lost in thoughts.
I guess he's stuck in the same boat as I am this morning.
"Good morning" I finally utter before moving to the kitchen to make myself some coffee, and my first joy of the day is seeing that Yoongi has already prepared some, still hot but not burning anymore, which I'll gladly take at the moment.
He turns around at the sound of my voice, and his eyes follow me as I move about the kitchen to grab a cup that I fill to the brim, silent and observing, I can almost sense his magick trying to analyze my state from across the room.
"I'm alright, Yoongi, you don't need to keep worrying. Yesterday won't happen again, at least not today, I don't think so" I let him know as I begin to sip the energy liquid at a slow place, my gaze on him as he bites his lips before coming over with an unconvinced look on his face.
"Are you sure? Because what happened yesterday was really dangerous, Y/N, your heart was-"
"I know" I cut him short, my patience is limited right now, I can feel it. "I don't need you to tell me what I already know. I'm used to it, and you should too because it'll happen more often than you want it to".
He stops where he is, a good meter away from me, his jaw tight with tension.
"Well I'm not used to it, and I don't want to get used to it. My job is to keep you safe and well, not watch on the sidelines as your magick keeps finding new ways to try and kill you when I'm not looking".
I huff under my breath.
"Oh, wow, aren't you a genius? I knew that this was the way to fix everything - we just have to want my magick to stop being the curious little bastard that you all seem to believe it is and everything will be fixed" I let out harshly, voice filled with sarcasm as I slam my half-empty cup on the counter before I throw it somewhere.
"That's not what I meant and you know that, Y/N, don't twist my words" he says lowly, brows furrowed in discontentment, but I shake my head, what the hell does he want me to say, then? What does he want to hear?
"You don't have a choice, Yoongi, you're going to have to accept that, one way or another. If you can't, then find someone else who'll be easier to save, because I'm not that person, okay? You knew what you were getting into when you accepted the job, this was never meant to be easy" I exclaim before moving towards the front door, heart racing with emotions that I don't want to acknowledge right now.
I stopped looking for a cure a long time ago because there are no cures, I don't know what else to say for him to understand that.
He follows behind me as I pull my outside wheelchair out of the closet before switching seats. "Where are you going? I just want us to talk about what happened so that I-"
I cut him off again with more anger than I would've wanted, blood ice cold as ice crystals form around me, like it's sensing that I'm upset and wants to keep me safe, but also unable to attack the man who doesn't want to harm me.
"Well I don't want to talk about it, Yoongi! Okay? I don't want to! I have enough of worrying about what it might do next, and I have no energy to comfort you into believing that everything will be fine forever. Not today, I can't".
Sparks of flames appear around him, but he takes a deep inhale before moving towards the closet to wear his shoes, something I stop by pushing my inside wheelchair in the way to block his path.
"I'm going outside alone. I currently have zero people-pleasing skills and I'm even less of a people person this morning, I don't want you to end up hurt because of me. I'll just... get some fresh air for a bit, then I'll be back when I'm calmer" I try to say in a softer voice, and when he doesn't answer anything, I exit the house on my own.
I begin to push my wheels until I reach the sidewalk, and I bite on my tongue to keep the sudden tears that try to stream down my cheeks from flowing, and ultimately fail when a few manage to break free anyway.
I wipe my face with both hands before moving away from the house when I sense Yoongi's eyes on me from the window, he's... gosh, I don't even know why he said that in the first place. What was he expecting when he agreed to live with me?
To hear my doctor come up with ways for me to live longer is one thing, I'm used to that coming from him, but to have that same pattern come from Yoongi too? That is new to me. To have someone by my side who cares at all is new. I don't know how to handle that.
I'm constantly stuck between wanting to defend my magick because I know that it's not bad at heart and wanting to get rid of it so that everyone can stop telling me what I already know by heart, and it sucks. It pisses me off.
It's like I'm stuck in the middle of a war, and no matter what I do to try and flee it, death looms over my head, always closer and closer.
One does not simply... exist without magick. Magick is the life source of any living being, it's what feeds our blood and organs, our soul. We... breathe magick, every single day, it's an integral part of ourselves.
When they hate my magick... they also hate me in a way, and it hurts.
It takes me a long while before I can start focusing on my surroundings again, before I can notice the flower patterns on my skin, sunflowers, my favourite. I slow down in front of a park, and I hesitate for a brief moment before crossing the street to embark onto the rocky trail.
I find a calm spot under a large tree near the playground, then lock the brakes to keep my position stable.
I notice how a few children point at me, and I don't miss the way their parents try to keep them from coming too close to me, a disheartening feeling. It would be great if they didn't learn at such a young age to stay away from people like me, maybe then, life in the big city wouldn't be so bad.
I stare at my hands, at the different swirls of shapes that cover my palms, as if my body is a template for my magick to do art on. It's something I've always liked, something we've always shared in common. Arts, the joy of creating things.
I summon a little ball of ice in my hands, and it floats right in the middle as I begin to let my imagination give it form. The ball's shape alters as my will demands, my magick happy to obey as it enjoys these moments, and before long, I end up with a little cat in my hands.
I huff softly as I observe it. Why does it remind me of Yoongi of all people?
The ice fully crystallizes, and the little figurine becomes eternal, a work of art that can never break.
Doctor Wang would be so mad at me if he learned that I haven't stopped that hobby of mine like I told him I did, but it's stronger than me. It's the only good I can get out of my ice crystals.
Suddenly, I hear a branch break nearby and I look up to find a curious child staring at me with those big eyes that only children can have. I smile at her, and she comes closer.
"What's you doing?" she asks with her little voice, and I show her the little cat.
"I made this cat with my magick. It's like... playing with clay, but with ice instead. As it is right now, it'll never melt. What do you think, do you want it?" I offer it to her with a small smile, and a warmth enters my chest when she reaches out to it with wonder on her face.
"Da-eun! Come back here right now! I told you to not speak to strangers!" a voice screeches before the kid can get a hold of my gift, and she scampers off to where her mom is glaring at me without saying another word to me.
My hand falls onto my lap, cat clenched within my fist, and my heart fills with rejection.
I look down at it again, but my sight blurs from the flow of tears that immediately roll down my skin, unable to help it as I turn miserable for yet another day in my life. It's not hard to be kind, is it? It's not like I could've taken the kid away, not like I even wanted to.
There wasn't fear for the kid's safety in that mother's eyes, there was only despise for someone different.
"Can I see that figurine? It looks pretty" a familiar and soft voice speaks up soon as the park empties out, and I look up again with a pitiful expression over my face to find Yoongi standing under my tree, a few feet away from me.
I sniffle and try to wipe my face, but more tears fill my eyes again and I can't resist the wobbling of my chin as I extend a hand to show him my little crystal piece. I don't dare ask him since when he's been here, because I can hear it in his voice that he's been near from the very beginning.
He sits down besides me on the grass, then brings the cat closer to his face to observe it under every angles.
"You made that with your magick?".
I nod my head, another sniffle before I reach out to the bag attached to my chair, I must have some tissues in there somewhere. I search around a bit until I finally find them, and I grab a few before blowing my nose loudly.
"Hm. It's cute, I like it. How does it work exactly?" he asks another question as I stuff the used tissues into a separate pocket of the bag, and I turn my attention back to him with an unsettled feel in my chest, is he really interested to know or is he faking it?
"Well... I usually start from a ball of ice and... I just go with the flow from there. When it's done, the ice crystallizes to make it unbreakable. My magick is always tame when I do that, I guess we both like being creative" I explain quietly, which is also when his eyes take in the ice decorating my arms and hands.
"Can I see?" he asks once more while motioning for my hand, and I slowly reach out to his own so he can check for himself. Why is he not getting mad? Why isn't he saying that this is dangerous? That I shouldn't trust it?
I immediately sense his magick scanning my state, but there's no heat trying to melt the ice away. He's just... curiously glancing at my skin like it's nothing dangerous for me and it's taking me aback, it's so sudden, so different from earlier.
"This isn't harming you, it's very light, as if it's... hovering over the surface of your skin instead of crawling into it" he remarks gently, and this is news to me, my magick flutters, as if happy that he pointed that out.
He releases my hand to bring his gaze back to my little cat, and I bring my hand back to my lap, a weird feeling rising in the pit of my stomach, it's warm and... comforting.
"I'm sorry about earlier. I spoke as if I knew your situation better than you do and that's not what I wanted to convey. I can't lie and say that I'm not worried but... I can see now that it's not... bad. It's just hard to accept that it not being bad doesn't mean it's not dangerous" he finally speaks about what happened earlier, and this isn't at all what I expected to hear.
I wipe any remnants of tears from my skin before glancing at him sheepishly.
"I mean... it's hard even for me, so I get it. I'm sorry too, for cutting you off earlier, and for speaking to you that way. It's just a sensitive topic, I don't really like bringing that up because I know what people want to say, I've heard it all and it's never good".
He nods his head softly.
"I'm sure you have. I'll try not to be like that too, I don't want to be one more person who hurts you with conversations that don't help, that's not who I am, not what you need".
I swallow thickly at that. To hear him acknowledge my side of this experience is... it's nice.
"Do you think... if we accept your magick as it is instead of trying to break it down all the time, do you think it would be more careful about your safety? Maybe it just needs to learn about the does and don'ts".
I blink and frown as I process his idea, that's an approach that was never tried before. To be honest, teaching my magick had never even crossed my own mind, but I can feel it tickle against my skin, not cold but soft, gentle.
It sways, as if trying to let me know that it wants to try.
Maybe I've never really accepted it myself, despite not hating it. When everyone around you tells you to be careful, to not give it too much space and to use it as rarely as possible, you end up not knowing anymore, what's right to do and what's wrong.
"How? How would we do that?" I finally ask him, and he shrugs a little, like he didn't think that far ahead yet.
"No idea, but we can go slowly, one step at a time".
He hands me the cat back after a few more minutes of staring at it, but I shake my head before closing his fingers around it, and he blinks at me with those kind eyes of his.
"You can keep it. I feel like it'll be in better hands with you" I admit with a small smile, and he smiles back, relief in his entire soul at seeing that our fight was resolved peacefully, that we could both learn from it.
"I'll take good care of it, I promise. Do you want to head back home now? Or should we stay here for a bit longer?".
I stare up at the leaves over our heads, at the glimpses of light that seep through, and I make a soft sound.
"Let's stay here for a bit longer. The breeze feels great".
"Hm, you're right, it really does feel great. Let's stay here for as long as you need".