Juliet's Pov
I've been home for weeks now, it's heart April, and spring has set inn for full after a cold and gloomy march. The winter coats were tossed in the back of the closet a few days ago and exchanged for lighter spring jackets. Scarves, gloves, and hats were packed away and put in the closet until fall comes along and we have pulled out lighter clothes that are aching for us to use. When the seasons change, we get a fresh outlook on things, and with everything that has happened to me, I like the fresh start it brings.
Today I'm getting out of the house and going back to work. I've been debating it for a while now and I think I'm ready. will has already gone back to week; he did after one week home with me because the company needed him, and I said it was fine. he did my work while I was held captive and has been doing it now until I was ready to step my foot back into the office.
I'm starting a bit later than will and keeping my day shorter to start slowly. The last thing I want to do is overwhelm myself and get into a bad space mentally. I'm walking a delicate line mentally, so I don't want to push myself too far.
People like me who are kidnapping victims working their way back into their regular lives all react differently, at least that's what I was told in the one session I did with a psychologist. My family pushed me into it, so I caved but it wasn't my thing, so I only went once. Therapy isn't for me, I'm not in the mood to dig up everything that happened so she can use her time on someone else who could benefit more from her help.
What I did get out of the session was that the emotions of being rescued come in waves and everyone reacts differently. Sometimes people have a hard time in the beginning but then it fades as they work to get their life back, but for some, it starts off easier and then it gets worse. Then there is every variable inside that again. I have no idea where I fall on that spectrum though, and I'm not going to obsess about it.
I get into my town car and look out the window on my way to the office. People of all ages are walking the streets. Kids on their way to school, adults on their way to work, and couples taking a stroll together. There is nothing drastic happening on the streets today, but I can't help but feel unsafe. It's a constant looming feeling ever since I got home, and I can't seem to shake it off.
But when we stop at a red light, I spot someone I know, Patrick. He is probably on his way to class at Columbia, but he is standing close to a man I don't know. His arms are around his neck while the guy has his arms around Patrick's waist. They seem close, and I'm left wondering if there is something more between them.
I've never heard about Patrick having a girlfriend, and any question about dating gets avoided whenever someone brings it up. He is a private person, at least that's what I concluded as the reason why he didn't want to talk about it. I failed to think about the possibility that he kept it hidden or other reasons. Sexuality is a topic constantly being debated in our world where people have all kinds of views about who to love and what they think the social norms should be. But I think you can love who you want to love. Boys and boys, girls and boys, or girls and girls. If you're not harming anyone it shouldn't matter.
It doesn't harm me if my neighbor, the barista who makes my coffee, or my brother-in-law is gay. It's a beautiful thing if you know who you are and who you are attracted to. Thankfully there is more focus on it in society now, with pride and all that, to show support for those who feel different than what was considered the social norm a hundred years ago. Loving who you want to love should be a human right in my eyes, but sadly not everyone feels like that.
I'm not going to bring it up to Patrick because I don't want to force him to come out if he doesn't want to. I don't even know if it was a romantic relationship between those two, but if it is I'm of course going to be happy for him. He knows that he can always come to me if he wants to talk, and when or if he is ready, he will talk. I have never really had a conversation with the Hiltons about their views on other sexualities than straight, but I hope that they are open-minded. It would suck if they weren't, and Patrick would suffer from it. Everyone deserves the room to express themself however they want.
The ride to the office feels short when I am more focused on thinking about Patrick than how long we have been driving, so I get to walk into the building for the first time in a long time. It looks the same and smells the same as it did before. I wasn't expecting anything else though, after all, everyone else continued to work and live even when I was either held captive or living like a hermit at home because I wasn't ready to deal with the world. The company kept rolling like always even when I was away. Everything here is the same, except for me, I'm different.
I'm the same person but something inside me is different. What exactly it is I don't know, but maybe it's that I'm more vulnerable now. Usually, I walk into the office with confidence and my head held high because I don't want to seem out of place even if I'm panicking on the inside. But today I feel small, and my hand can't help but tremble from the thought that Travis is going to jump out from around the corner.
I get to my floor and greet Cecilia before quickly walking to my office avoiding talking with anyone. It's harder than I thought to be here, I'm anxious in a way I haven't been at work before. This office Is where Travis used to send notes and flowers so he could get my attention. I was fucking stupid to keep that to myself for all those months, if I had told someone maybe they could have helped me. But no, I had to keep it to myself and pretend that nothing was going on. I'm so fucking stupid it's not even funny. I genuinely thought that it was innocent and something I could just ignore because if I poked the bear, he would sink his claws into me but turns out he did that anyway. Not going to the police or telling anyone was stupid and forgiving myself for that will be hard.
After I put my things down and get situated behind my desk there is a knock on the door before Selena comes in, but I jump slightly in my seat. The nerves are getting to me. "Good morning, Juliet. Happy to see you here again. will make sure you have a light workload today to not overwhelm you. So these documents need to be looked over" she says, and I take deep breaths before taking the files from her.
"Thanks. It's good to be back too" I lie, and by the look on her face she is aware I'm lying too but she doesn't bring it up. "And I want you to gather information about different non-profit organizations that work with kidnapping victims and their families. I think I want to focus on kidnapped children. I've already cleared with the company presidents this morning that we want to sponsor one organization with a set annual donation and I'm going to oversee our work with said organization and pick the one I think is best suitable to work with us. Just make sure it's only non-profit. I don't want to work with a company that makes money for children who are held captive" I tell her.
I talked with my dad and father-in-law over Skype a few days ago and they agreed on my side to partner and sponsor an organization because it's important to me. I feel like I need to do something, so I'm using my platform and privilege to help people. But I want to make sure it's' only non-profits that get even considered. The last thing I would want is to invest money in a company where all the money goes to the person on top when it should be going to getting the families the help, they need to either cope after the child is rescued or help get the child back home to their family.
"That sounds like an amazing idea. I'll get right on it after I finish my tasks and I will have the options for you in the next couple of days" she says and asks about what kind of information I want about the company and all that. I want to do a deep dive into the organizations before I pick so I'm sure that the values are something we can agree with and stand for when we partner with them. the cause is something important to me, so I want to make sure I do it right. Overseeing this project might be good for my mental health too, so that's a bonus.
Juliet's Pov
Juliet is back at work today, which has me on edge. She tends to act like she is fine when she is bottling things up on the inside. I'm guilty of that too but I haven't been kidnapped either, so I keep a close eye on her. I talked with a therapist who works with victims like Juliet and their families to see what I can do to best support her. Juliet wasn't that happy when I told her I wanted to speak to someone, but when I said it was for myself to cope with the whole situation too, she said it was okay.
I'm not the victim and I'm not even going to pretend I know what she went through like she knows it. But it is a challenge being around her when I'm not sure if I'm pushing the wrong buttons or not. So talking with a professional helped and it is easier now. He told me about signs of depression and PTSD as well as other issues I could keep an eye out for and made sure I knew it was important for me to take care of myself to too I could be there for Juliet and Lilly.
In the middle of the chaos of making sure Lilly's needs are met and helping Juliet cope I sort of forgot my own needs. So now I try to take time for myself too, like going down to the gym in our building and work out because it is good for my body and mind. Going to work is also good for my head because it means I'm productive during the day and keeping a sense of normalcy.
Keeping a sense of normalcy is the main reason I didn't fight Juliet about coming back to work, I didn't want her to go around the house alone and just stay stuck in her head for too long because that isn't exactly helpful. Getting out of the house, get dressed in normal clothes, and doing normal things is good for everyone.
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Our personal assistant brought us lunch and I take it with me into Juliet's office to eat with her. we got sushi because I know Juliet loves that. "Hello, my love, how are you? I've got lunch for us" I say when I walk in. I see her slightly jump in her chair with a pale expression, but it softens when she sees it's me. That doesn't go unnoticed.
"Hi babe. Sounds good" she says before we head over to the little couch and coffee table where we can eat together. "How are you doing? On a scale of one to ten, how is your stress right now" I ask her again and she crinkles her nose.
"Like a 9 maybe. But it's fine, I will get over it will" she shrugs.
"It's okay if it takes time to get back on track Juliet. It's okay to take the time you need" I try to reason with her, but she just shrugs again. My girl is stubborn as hell, she has always been like that and will probably always be like that.
Hopefully, when Lilly is a teenager she won't be as stubborn as her mother because then we would have a challenge on our hands. She is different than her mother in the sense that she is outgoing and makes friends easily, but she also has her mother's stubbornness now. But she is our Lilly, and I wouldn't exchange her for the world. She isn't mine legally, but she feels like she is. One day I might have that conversation with Juliet, but I don't think any of us are ready for that yet.
"I know will. But I just need normalcy right now. Work, you, and Lilly. That's what I need and thank you for being understanding of that" she says and takes a bite of her sushi.
"I love you, Juliet," I say, and she blushes "Well I love you too will. Ugh you're making me blush like a little teenager in the office" she groans making me throw my head back laughing.