Waking up with a 5'9, female super soldier who is 139 pounds on your chest wasn't the best thing, especially when she's clinging onto you. Even worse when it's on a small couch.
But it was also nice, because she slept through the whole night. Which was new, she'd barely ever done that before.
Bucky woke to Cecelia laying on him, her one arm at her side, and the other clinging around him. He woke up specifically to Sarah's boys playing with the shield.
"Hey!" Bucky said, getting their attention. Cecelia stirred when she heard his voice.
"заткнись, папа." (shut up, dad) Bucky looked down smiling at her. He loved it when she called him dad. Bucky gave a 3 fingered wave and they put it away, back in the case.
Bucky stared at the shield, his smile dropping down. He thought about Steve, and how he did that. Yeah, he said that him and Cecelia would be ok, but it still hurt. It hurt a lot.
"I gotta get up, doll." Bucky said as she laid there. She stuffed her head into his chest, feeling his cold dog tags on her forehead. She shook her head. "You don't have to get up, but I do, so. Let's go, let me up and then you can go back to sleep." Bucky said, patting her low back. Cecelia wiped her eyes before looking at him.
"Fine." She mumbled, she was still groggy from waking up so suddenly. She got off of him, and Bucky got off the couch, and right after, she flopped back on the couch, pulling blankets over her.
"We've got a flight at 5, make sure you have all your stuff." Bucky said, bending down. He kissed her forehead and she hummed.
"Mhm."
Bucky shook his head with a grin. He walked away, his hands stuffed in his pocket.
Around 2 hours later, Cecelia woke up to the fresh smell of coffee and bacon. A sweet syrup smell, and two kids excited for breakfast, and a mother trying to get them to silent down since they had a guest.
Cecelia rubbed her eyes and looked around. She almost forgot that she wasn't at home. She'd never slept so good in her life. She didn't have nightmares, and she slept through the entire night.
Which was surprising.
Cecelia sighed as she sat up. Her joints slightly cracked as she stretched some of them out.
"Cecelia, help yourself to some breakfast." Sarah said from the kitchen. Cecelia looked up, her expression still tired.
"Oh, thank you." She said, her voice having a slight rasp since she had just woken up. She cleared her throat, standing up. She walked over, pulling her hair into a bun, feeling a very dull ache in her shoulder.
"Morning." She said to the two boys. She sat down next to them, looking around. The house was small, but it was very homey.
"Sleep good?" Sarah asked, Cecelia nodded.
"I slept really well, thank you so much for letting me stay." Cecelia said politely. Sarah smiled at her manners.
"With good manners like that, you can stay anytime." Sarah said as she grabbed both of her boys chocolate milk. "Help yourself, I made a bunch." Sarah said, Cecelia gave a closed lip smile before standing up.
She took a small plate of breakfast, not wanting to eat all of their food. She also wasn't a breakfast person sometimes.
"You can have more, Cecelia. Trust me, the more we get rid of the better." Sarah said, and Cecelia shook her head as she swallowed down.
"I'm ok, but thank you." Cecelia said again. Sarah nodded, a smile still on her face. Bucky walked in with Sam, a couple minutes before, Sarah had scolded the two for doing something with a water filter. They had absolutely no idea what they were doing.
"Your girl has some good manners, Bucky. Seems like you raised her right." Sarah said as Bucky walked up behind Cecelia. He put on a charming smile for Sarah, and nodded his head.
"Good to know she gives you manners, because she's got an attitude with me." Bucky said, Cecelia shook her head before looking at Sam.
"Don't look at me, you're worse with me." Sam said, Sarah chuckled, shaking her head.
"I couldn't believe that for a second." Sarah said Cecelia nodded.
"I'm an angel." Cecelia said, scratching the inner corner of her eye.
"Yeah, right." Bucky said as she raised her eyebrows.
"Far from that." Sam joked, Cecelia looked over as everyone laughed.
After eating breakfast, and then changing from sweatpants and a hoodie into leggings and a long sleeve and putting socks and shoes on, Cecelia was ready for the day. She finished the whole outfit by telling Bucky.
"К черту твой слинг." (fuck your sling)
Bucky responded with "Надень его или вывихнешь его в сотый раз." (Put it on or you'll re dislocate it for the 100th time)
Cecelia ultimately ended up putting it back on. Now she was sitting outside as Sam and Bucky hit the shield off of a padded tree, and then back.
Cecelia was behind them, sitting criss crossed with her head on her hand.
"Feels weird...picking it up again." Sam said before hitting it off the trees. Bucky caught it in his arm as Sam finished what he had to say. "The legacy of that shield is complicated, to say the least." Sam said to him.
"When Steve told me what he was planning, I don't think either of us really understood what it felt like for a Black man to be handed the shield. How could we? I owe you an apology." Bucky said to him honestly. He handed him the shield, saying "I'm sorry." Sam took it, a small grin on his face.
"Me to." Cecelia said looking up from the ground.
"Thank you." Sam said as he put the shield on his arm.
"Whatever happened with Walker, it wasn't your fault. I get it. It's just, that shield's the second closest thing I've got left to a family, so when you retired it, it made me feel like I only had one good thing left." Bucky said.
He had 1 thing, more like person. Cecelia Barnes. A 15 year old girl who's favorite color was blue. She was funny, sassy, and she meant everything to him. She was his kid no matter what. He loved her like she was his, and she was his. "Made me question everything. You, Steve, Ceily, me. You know, I've got his, uh...I've got his book. And, uh...I just figured if it worked for him, then it'd work for me." Bucky said, looking away. He sighed, looking at Cecelia who was playing with grass. Literally.
"I understand, man. But Steve is gone. And this might be a surprise, but it doesn't matter what Steve thought." Sam said, throwing the shield. He got it back, looking at Bucky.
"You gotta stop looking to other people to tell you who you are. Both of you." Sam said, throwing it again. It landed in Bucky's arm, vibranium hitting vibranium. "Let me ask you. You still having those nightmares?" Sam asked, Bucky answered truthfully.
"All the time." He said, Cecelia nodded her head. "It means I remember. It means a part of me is still there. Which means a part of the Winter Soldier's still in me." Bucky said tossing the shield.
"You up for a little tough love?" Sam asked, catching the shield. "You two wanna climb out of the hell you're in, do the work. Do it." Sam said, Cecelia looked up, giving one thing she did.
"We've been making amends. Finished mine yesterday." Cecelia told him, pointing a finger. She tried to be cheery, even though the conversation was downright depressing.
"Nah. You weren't amending, you were avenging. You were stopping all the wrongdoers you enabled as the Soldiers because you thought it would bring you closure. You go to these people and say "sorry," because it'll make you feel better, right?" Sam asked, Cecelia pulled a piece of grass out, playing with it.
"Cuz my shrink makes me." She muttered, nobody heard her, thankfully.
"Cecelia, tell me how your last amend made you feel."
"Uh, I helped the guy with his groceries, said I'm sorry, and then he told me he's part of the reason I'm screwed up. So, kinda shitty." Cecelia said, Sam sighed, scratching the back of his neck. That was a bad example to use, but he found some way to mark it better.
"So, you made him feel better, right? Helped him with groceries, told him what happened?" Sam asked, Cecelia shrugged on shoulder slightly.
"Well, he kinda saw me kill them all." Cecelia said as Bucky looked down, he'd apologized to him long ago, but he hadn't done anything. He administered her killings, but he didn't do it himself.
"You gotta go to them and be of service. I'm sure there's at least one person in your hooks who needs closure about something, and you're the only one who could give it to 'em." Sam told Bucky who looked away.
"Probably a dozen."
"That's cool. Start with one."
"Good talk."
a/n:
only a few more chapters guys😭😭😭 i'm gonna miss this