I looked at Nieve as I grabbed Zane's hand. I'd been keeping him as safe as I could, but that wasn't why we were here. This isn't about Zane; my brother, my friend, my Zane. The one I'd been so scared to lose and would have done anything for.
I didn't see Nieve now, instead, she faded to the bleak white blanket that covered his body. Steady, familiar beeps from the machines that surrounded him to keep him alive echoed in my mind as I stared at the cold, limp hand in mine.
"Please save him," I whisper. "I will do anything, parade me down main street and make it official. A life for a life. I don't care. This is my white flag. I give up. Send me back in time again, I won't leave. Whatever it takes. Just, please do this. Please save him."
"Elise?" Zane snaps me out of my thoughts, my shield barely enough as Nieve ups her attack with new brutality. "Elise!"
I look at Zane's hand in mine; dirty, bloody, hot. My grip tightens, and I feel him hold onto me just as tight. He has a role to play. We all do. I see Nieve through the smoke and the brightness of the light surrounding her, sensing her frustration and desperation - emotions I refuse to let out.
My head had never been clearer.
"I love you, you know that right?" He looks confused, not even flinching as the ground shakes and fiery embers rain down from above as Nieve works at cracking the new shield I have over us.
"Of course."
He is my Guardian and I am the Empress.
Zane and Elise can't exist here.
I nod, blinking away the tears that came on their own as I let him go. We don't get to show weakness. To prove my point I hold my sword tight, feeling it connect to me as if we were the same despite the tremor of effort that ran up my arm and sent the nerves in my wounded shoulder into a spasm.
The ground trembled and this time it was because I made it do so. I dug deep, tugging at every thread I could until it threatened to break into two and swallow her whole. The earth reacted more than I anticipated, beyond the dirt and soil but deeper where the blood spilled eventually settled and spirits that were forever trapped stirred as they recognised her as one of their own. A tortured soul who would never know peace. I may have war in my blood but it would not trap me how her delusions trapped her.
I released her fate from their bindings and glared at Nieve, wondering if she saw the same madness in my eyes I saw in hers or if she knew what I was about to do next. I did spot the second she realised my shield was gone, only before she could strike, it began to rain in the same demented way Enyo had done. Thick, red drops that stuck in your hair and smeared on your face fell around us. Excitement grew as the shadows that slipped around by our feet were that of the ghosts that bided their time. For the first time, I wanted her to see what I could do and know how wrong about me she had been in every way. She thought I'd burn the world down? I'd make it bleed first and enjoy every drop. As bad as she thought I could be, I'd be worse.
Nieve's hands instantly reached out to touch it, and even Zane paused - distracted by what was happening. I only saw her, the flicker of disgust and wonder at what was happening as I started to move, bracing myself for her next attack. The smell of blood made my stomach churn, while memories of the ones that had died here threatened to grab hold and haunt me with each step I took. The pain in my shoulder matched the throbbing in my side, much like the ache in my chest at what was coming.
I kept myself clean and protected.
Determined.
Flawless.
Nieve smiled, licking her lips so a red smear covered her crooked teeth. There was a smugness there, a confidence as we paired off against one another once again.
"You stupid girl." She growled, her snarl turning back into a smile.
That's what I was to her; stupid. Weak. I wore my heart on my sleeve, in the form of every damn person and creature I cared about. I had plenty of targets for my enemies to aim at, Nieve was well aware and even thinking about Olivia being held against her haggard old body again fuelled me. She only proved me right now, her eyes looking between me and Zane with an obvious sense of victory as her step towards me was almost her last as something tripped her up.
"I am going to miss our little chats," I taunted.
She took the bait, in the same instance that Zane realised whatever protection I had previously had in place was gone. I heard his breathing catch, the thud of his steps as he dodged whatever was now happening behind me as Nieve turned his way with a wave of her arm; it was clear whatever that was, was only to push me back as all of her began to glow again and the air sparked with the force of her power. I felt the rush of magic wash over me and beyond, sensed the ancient force that lingered behind it all and breathed it in; needing it as I simply stood there and let the inevitable happen.
"I'm going to make you watch him die." She hissed, the force circling me was to keep me in place; not letting me move.
She wanted me to watch one of my worst fears come to life because Nieve knows Zane. She knows who he is, and who he is to me.
Elise would die protecting the ones she loves.
I am reckless, and impulsive and act before thinking. Naive. Young.
There was no stopping my mind from drifting again; every time I was pushed aside, dismissed and not heard. Facing Danielle and Tom after capturing V. The disappointment at not being more like Jordan whenever my Father looked at me. Portia's warnings. Apollos endless lecturing. The smug fucking smile on Nieves face as she thought she'd beaten me and now sought to claim Zane's life as her prize. His eyes met mine, and I could feel his need to understand.
What was the play? What did I want him to do now? What was I going to do?
There would be no help or protection coming from me, not this time. He knew his role in all of this as well as I did. I turned away, focusing only on Nieve. She was not like any other Power, not even Gaia or Uranus. We also didn't know the full extent of what Zane was capable of in this state yet I thought about Hades' fear when they discovered what Zane could do. Kara's joy. Apollos' guilt. Worry began to plague my thoughts, maybe he only had nine lives. How much testing of this so-called gift had they done?
Would he die for me, no, that was the wrong question; could I let him die for me?
Every inch of my being was screaming for release, to move, to protect him. Keep him as far from her as possible yet I didn't move an inch. He was merely another tool I had at my disposal to win this fight. The Guardian needed to face death on his own, and I stepped beyond her orders, brushing past what was so supposed to keep me back.
She didn't notice.
Her attack was fast, intense and focused. I waited, watching without the assistance I'd given him earlier. This time he fell, not tripped. I offered no aid. Her powers threatened to destroy him and just when I started to lose the grip I had on the moment, my emotions, on all of it, Zane went down and his weapon tossed away.
He didn't get back up or even attempt to try. There was no defence now.
Elise would never have let her do this; Nieve thinks she won.
She underestimated the Empress.
Nieve kicked him as if it was a leaf on the path, his limp form moving as if he were boneless and he fell with a thud that stopped my heart. I froze, watching as she bent over him, her cackling laughter echoing across the abandoned battlefield where even the rain no longer fell and she set her hands on his chest, the light growing brighter until- nothing.
She faded like a sunset; her power slipping away from the earth as the shadows lurking within began to rise no longer holding back. The old woman was no match for them, her newfound strength and stability disappearing as she stumbled back and away from Zane.
Then I was there.
"What- what is happening?" She squeaked, inspecting her hands and body for the answers.
This time when she looked at me I only saw fear and the last remnants of whatever power she had completely faded until there was only an old, frail witch before me that was beyond her expiry date.
"I'll give you a clue," I leaned in close, not bothered by the soft, weak hand clasped onto my forearm for support as she struggled to stay standing. "I win, Nieve."
I shoved her back, and away barely giving her time to fall, to breathe, to process any of it as I swung my sword like an axe, with a clarity and focus fuelled by the sound of my scream as I wanted her dead. I wanted her gone. I wanted her to be forgotten and removed from every corner of my life forever. The crack of her skull as it hit the ground should have been enough, but I'd wanted this for so long. I hit her corpse, over and over until the pieces that remained began to dissolve into dust, my powers destroyed what was there, as I wanted to make sure not even a single hair would be left to identify her.
The earth welcomed her.
What remained of Nieve's shocked, bruised face stared blankly up at me as something within tugged on her matted grey strands, crushing her skull further as she was pulled into whatever corner of this hell was claiming her as theirs. My wrist burned, beyond the tattooed mark of three and yet the flicker on the dirt got my attention. I gave a little tug and revealed what remained of a golden thread in the space where her chest had been.
I watched as it faded to black and then disappeared into the air.
The demons here felt sated. Content. I fed them well. Vengeance may have even been delivered to some that may have once been innocent in her games and as my snake friend made its way over towards me, I tilted my sword as it slid up the blade, and then around my arm as the last fragments of Nieve disappeared under the bloodied sand and only deafening silence remained.
"She's gone," I whispered.
The snake nodded.
I turned back to my Guardian who remained still on the ground. The shadows moved near his leg, and as something went to his head I was there to stop it from going any closer. The lock that existed and I'd torn open was put back into place, keeping whatever Tartarus had already released out of his world where it belonged.
Hesitantly, I reached out to touch Zane; his skin was still hot yet sticky and with a look, any evidence of battle was removed. I didn't have the ability to heal him but I would hide it until I could get him to Apollo. My hand hovered over his chest, the marks Nieve had burnt there gone and I refused to acknowledge the lack of movement there. He was supposed to recharge himself with her power, so she lost hers.
It's how I was able to kill her.
The possibility that Nieve wasn't powerful enough to draw what he needed to repair himself wasn't one I wanted to consider, but now that I had thought about it, I couldn't let it go.
Balance.
Zane had been given a purpose, and it was served.
"Wake up," I ordered, standing over him.
Nothing.
A wave of nausea hit me, my head spinning and the snake around my shoulders moved to peer at me with caution; his tongue flicking in and out as if that would tell him what was wrong. This wasn't how it had gone all the times before. Apollo and Cain had told me, and Hades had told me how it worked.
"Zane can block our Powers. He can't control it or make the power his own, doesn't even know it's happening, and it only seems to kick in as a life insurance policy when he's down to his final moments. I don't blame Hades for getting spooked, we end up powerless and he seems to take energy from us to restore his which is almost instant and could be long enough to prove fatal."
It did prove fatal, Apollo.
I poked Zane's cheek, and his nose and set the snake down to nudge his ear. "You're not funny old man."
Nothing.
He looks so calm and at ease, younger if that was possible. The longer I stare at him, the more the years seem to fade and we go someplace else.
Another time.
Another life.
This younger version of Zane walks into Huntington's Academy. He didn't go to Huntington's, not yet. His jacket has one of the other Academies' names on and the two others with him are half his size and wear similar looks of fear that Zane doesn't. I know he's their age, yet still, he appears older. He is calm and collected, his confidence is evident and as he passes a small group of girls they giggle and whisper excitedly as he winks at the taller brunette.
"Welcome to Huntington's Academy." Ms. Huntington greets the trio in the foyer. She'd been expecting them. "I hope your trip was-"
She pauses, looking them over with a frown as she sees the rips on their pants, and the bruising behind the smallest boy's hair that he keeps over one side of his face. The blood on their white shirts. None of them have a bag, or any luggage and there's a sense of exhaustion that follows them like a bad smell.
"And where are the others?" She looks hopefully towards the front door, but no one else comes in.
Huntington knows the answer.
"Our trip was a waste of time. We're all that made it." Zane tells her dryly.
The headmistress forces herself to smile and slowly nods. "I am thankful that you made it at all. You, young Slayer, still have quite the journey ahead of you."
I shake my head, confused as to where that even came from and feel the tap of the snake against my leg. It looks between us and slides over Zane's body before looking back at me expectantly. Kneeling there was no pulse as I pushed my finger against Zane's neck. I put my hand on his chest where Nieve had been and felt nothing there. I waited for a heartbeat, some kind of thump from within or to feel his chest expanding and deflating with each breath of air - for any sign that life still existed here.
It didn't come.
Hands suddenly grab my shoulders, and my weapon is blocked as I swing it around to find Cain and Hades there. The snake hisses and looking over my shoulder, Apollo and Kara are fussing by Zane who groans as Apollo rolls him over in the dirt. He doesn't move or do anything else - did I imagine it?
"I-" I start.
"We couldn't get to you, this whole place was blocked off. Even Hermes struggled to find a way in." Hades seems to speak for both of them as the trio behind me vanishes. "What happened? Nieve came didn't she?"
I couldn't focus on Hades; he was too loud, and there was a smell that came with him. There was something about his aura, his very being that I couldn't process right now. It was too much. He was too much - of everything right now and seeking out my calm I turned to Cain only for him to slowly Cain let me go, inspecting his hand as if he'd written cheat notes to a test I wasn't aware we were in for on his palm.
"Nieve's dead." He said smoothly, the words rolling off his tongue as if he'd been preparing to say them for weeks as he looked back at me. "You need to go."
That was more confusing than whatever energy Hades had brought here with him, and I couldn't even quite work out what to say and when I did, it was barely a whisper. "Why?"
"If it's bad I'll tell you, and then we can all talk. For now, we need a minute and you can keep me informed about Zane." Cain and Hades seem to end a conversation I completely missed as black dots appear around us and Hades disappears with a nod and a gentle slap on the back. "Elle, my love. It's just us now."
"I know?"
"Good, good. I want you to let me take you home. To our space." Every word is slow and careful and he's acting as if he's standing in the way of Alfie getting to his cola stash.
"Let you?" I frowned; I didn't understand what he was talking about.
He looks down and my sword is not quite cutting in, but pressed against his stomach and the snake is poised to strike by my feet. I instantly drop the sword, startling both of us as it hisses up at me unimpressed.
Cain inches closer, putting his hand out and instantly I put mine on top of it, sighing with relief that comes as it disappears in his hold and a second later we're in as he said, our space. The ocean wall looks as it always did yet the memory of the water crashing into the room has me closing my eyes. The sensation of my lungs burning, needing air makes me rub at my chest as if that would fix it and the determination to see more blood in the water sends me in Tisiphone's direction.
"Let me see you," Cain whispers, and looking again, his eyes meet mine in the mirror of the bathroom as he stands behind me.
I don't understand. Nothing seems clear right now and I watch as his nose bumps against my ear. A kiss on my jaw. His fingers delicately trace up and down my arms as I wait to feel some kind of sensation but instead, I'm just numb.
I want to feel, I need to feel.
Instead, I keep watching his hands as they slide under my arms now, one on my hip and the other coming around where even Blueberry seems miles away and unreachable. Could he feel him?
"Elle," his mouth is by my ear. The warmth of his breath against my skin breaks through whatever is keeping us apart. I press backwards, into him, eager to feel his skin on mine and it's there. "You need to relax. It's over now, just us. You're safe. Let me in."
Cain says the same things over and over again as if he were in prayer. Every time he says my name I want to run to him, despite already being in his arms but it's like I forgot how to do anything more than just stand there. I watch him though you'd never know as I stare blankly into the mirror; for a second I'm not sure which side I'm on. Cain slips into view, no longer behind me but instead in front of me so he is all that I can see. He rests his forehead against mine, his voice so melodic and patient and safe.
Elle.
Elise.
I love you.
Something inside clicks, like a light being flicked off as darkness replaces my view of Cain. The pain I forgot existed has me doubling over, as the black spots return and I'm suddenly ducking around him to heave the nothingness of my stomach into the sink. Blood and dirt cover my arms, slowly coming into focus and thousands of tiny cuts sting as water flicks up from the tap before the rush of tingles invades my body. The pain in my shoulder intensifies before it simply slips away while thoughts and feelings - all of it return. There are no words as we step under the shower, and there aren't any until we're curled around each other in bed looking out into the nothingness before us as Blueberry fidgeted as he only did when I attempted sleep.
"I know, check up with Doctor Katie," I say before he can, his hand hot against my skin as he watches it move between us.
"Good." He kisses my forehead, hesitating for a second. "You were the one keeping us out, weren't you?"
"I honestly don't know. I can't even remember what happened other than she's dead, and Zane?" I'm not sure I want the answer to that right now.
"He'll be okay." Cain makes it sound like a promise. "Rest, we can talk in the morning."
"Thank you."
I get comfortable, eager to sleep, yet find myself even more awake. I focus on Cain's breaths, deep and even, there - unlike the stillness of Zane when I'd last seen him. I close my eyes, forcing the thoughts away, barely drifting off as finally some of the tension leaves Cain and he falls asleep first despite how hard he'd been fighting to stay awake - wanting me to sleep first. I know he wanted me to break before that happened, to say whatever he knows I won't tomorrow. We both know I lied; I had kept them out and I remembered exactly what had happened.
The problem with that was, that there is also a lot more I now found myself remembering that I never knew in the first place.