Highgrove House, Gloucestershire
2005
The words she had spoken the night before were still echoing in her mind as she got ready that morning.
She was due back in Edinburgh to start the semester that same week, as soon as possible really, and by the way her grandparents had said it there wasn't any more ways to spin it or postpone it, she had to go back before people started to suspect something and went babbling to the media. Which meant she needed to let go.
Her father had already arrived from Scotland, a little earlier than normal, and made his way to the countryside to prepare his only daughter for probably the most difficult decision she would ever have to make.
Alfred was asleep in his pram in the living room while Alice was seated by the opened window, enjoying the late afternoon breeze as October rolled around and the weather started to get a little too chilly for her normal long walks around the garden. Her father walked in with his private secretary, who was new but had been dealing with everything related to Alice's situation until now, and waited for Alice to notice his presence, which she did after a few minutes.
"You can go back to Edinburgh on Friday, to resume classes on Monday, ma'am." The private secretary says, while the Prince of Wales plays with his signet ring and looks at somewhere in the room beyond where the pram was stationed.
"And when would they..." Alice couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence, so she simply nodded at the pram where her son was sleeping soundly.
"Any day before Friday. We were thinking Wednesday, so Your Royal Highness would have time to go back to London and prepare your bags before departing."
"So tomorrow?" It was a redundant question but the private secretary nodded as Alice got up and went to stand beside the pram, almost like she was protecting it, her son, from the whole situation. "Everything I have is here, they brought everything since they weren't sure what I would need. I have nothing in London."
She saw how the words made her father's expression change, probably hurt by her rather sharp words, but honestly she didn't really care, she had been hurt too much by her own family, ignored too much to this very moment for something that wasn't entirely her fault, to feel any sympathy for her father's sentiments.
"I'll leave on Friday, but they can come on Friday as well. So then we'll all leave this place together, just as we came in."
The private secretary nodded and gathers his papers, but as he is living Alfred fusses in his sleep, which makes Alice's heart hurt.
"Could you arrange for a photographer to come in tomorrow or Thursday?" There's a minute where the private secretary and her own father are unsure who exactly she's talking to, and honestly neither does she know, however, it doesn't really matter, as either of them can do that favour for her. "I would like to take some photographs with him before..."
"Of course, ma'am. I'll see to it and be in contact."
Alice nods and both man leave the room, just as little Alfred wakes up and fusses once more, probably hungry and upset by the whole situation, after all the tension in the room was palpable.
The night went on and the day came in with a change in the wind, everything was a little colder, a little sharper, a little darker, and somehow even Mother Nature knew that a child was being taken away from the arms of its mother, not entirely against her will but also not exactly in the best manner either, where the necessity was being put before the well fare of both people involved.
Alice was swaying baby Alfred in the drawing room that overlooked the front of the house, the same room some years before, when she herself was just a young girl, had been told her father was to marry her step-mother, and watched as the black car came to a stop in front of 18th century estate which Alice had spent much of her childhood in. From out of the car came the Prince of Wales' private secretary and Mario Testino, someone she knew very little but had taken some of her photographs over the years. She didn't know if he had been briefed, however, it seemed like watching her own mother walk the threshold of Highgrove House once more, after all Mario was Mario was someone who knew her mother, who had photographed her in the last years of her life.
And as she walked out of the House with Alfred a little sleepy in her arms, and catching both men a little off guard, she saw as Mario's eyes grew slightly wide before a small smile appeared on his face.
"Your Royal Highness." The Prince of Wales' private secretary and the photographer greet her with a bow, which Alice promptly ignores, quick to move along and begin the procedures.
"Where would you like us?"
Two hours later Mario was packing his camera and lights as Alice calmed baby Alfred in her arms and the private secretary was in one of the rooms of the house, overlooking the gardens of course, talking on the phone. They hadn't exchanged many words apart from the cordial and professional ones, which more often than not came from Mario, as he guided the session and mother and son to their places. But now, as the session came to a close, Alice found a need to know what he thought.
"He's a very sweet baby." The older man says, closing his cases and looking back at the Princess, who was now rocking her baby in her arms.
"He is, and will probably become to be even sweeter."
"Yes." There's a long pause, as the photographer looks at mother and son. "Your mother talked about you when we met."
There's a slight breeze that blows Alice's strawberry hair and white dress away from her body and somehow she wants to believe is Mother Nature, or even her own mother, embracing her, calming her down.
"We talked about how she thought you'd grown up to be brilliant. And I agreed, I still do. She even said she thought you'd give her her first grandchild." There's a nasal, humourless laugh from the photographer as Alice opens her mouth, but no words come out.
"She would have been here with you, if you have any doubts." Alice nods, more to take in the words than in agreement to the statement, however, Mario takes that as his queue to pick his things up and smile at Alice. "You'll still do great things, ma'am. Having a baby is just the first of them."
Alice nodded and the photographer walks back into the house, and Alice hears the two men speaking as baby Alfred fusses and threatens to start crying. He hadn't said anything about Alfred specifically, and maybe that was what she needed to hear, she needed to know that she was still Alice, Princess Alice of Wales, not Alice, the woman who had a child behind everyone's back, the person who was now the black sheep of the family, she needed to know that she was a young woman and that being a young woman was ok to be.
Just a small side note for those of you confused and maybe a bit upset: the outcome of Alice's pregnancy has already been revealed long ago. This isn't exactly the point I'm trying to make here. These chapters (the ones where the scenes play out in 2005) are not a perfect timeline of what happened, specially since the story is not in a linear timeline; if you go back to the chapter right before the 'flashback' you'll notice that Alice is recounting the 2005 events to Edward. She knows what happens later on as she is telling the story, and so does the reader, that is the point. And yes, this has been the plan all along.
Nina x