"Cause I like to love, to love, to love, to love you.
I hate to hate, to hate, to hate, to hate you.
Put the Beatles on, light the candles, go back to bed."
August 7th, 2021.
Charleston, North Carolina.
𓇼 𓇼 𓇼 𓇼 𓇼
The sight of a presumed dead man made us drop our mouths in pure disbelief and terror. Something in me wanted to drop on the floor out of fear of my boyfriend's father. Silhouettes of my boyfriend and his father stood in the doorway while I stood behind Rafe from a distance. Swallowing the anxiety that was growing in the back of my throat. Melancholy feelings clouded over my head almost like my heart was going to stop; burst out of my chest and onto the wooden floor of the beautiful home. Rafe stared at his father in disbelief as he stared at him like he was admiring the older man that looked like he went through a lot for the past month. I could sense the emotions that my boyfriend was feeling. He was going to give in to his father's tactics or whatever he had wanted from us. "Can I come in?" He asked his son with a raspy voice. I walked towards the wooden door that Rafe's muscular body stood in front of. I shook my head and knew that letting him in was allowing him to walk all over his son again.
"No, you're not coming in here." I spoke aloud in anger knowing the trauma that he caused not only in his son's life, but in mine. Leaving my best friend to bleed out in my arms over a box of information for the Royal Merchant drove me into an anger when I saw him standing in front of my boyfriend. Rafe moved out of the way to show me standing behind him. The older man stared at me and a smile grew on his face at the sight of me. "Isla, you're here." He spoke to me while he held his hat in his wrinkled hand. His fingers played with the rim of the hat. "I have so much to explain to you both. Please, let me explain." He replied once again after I shook my head at him and stood beside Rafe. He held his hand on the door knob. I could sense that Rafe wanted to grasp his father in his arms and hold him while tears poured down onto his face. He moved to the side while I looked at Ward. "Come in, Dad." Rafe spoke out of disobedience to what I had said before about not welcoming him in. Inviting a dead man into our home? That was insane behavior. How did he even make it out of the blown up boat? Who did we bury if it wasn't him in the casket?
I stepped back and looked at Rafe with anger forming across my face. He looked down at me and leaned his body against the door. Ward stepped into the house, wiping his shoes on the woven mat. "Really?" I mouthed to him as I walked away from the door and headed back into the living room out of anger. I couldn't believe what was happening in the early evening. A fake dead man showed up to the house. I couldn't feel anything but a sense of shock, disbelief, anger, sadness and despair. I had no idea how to cope with the feelings knowing that my boyfriend was allowing his father, that caused him so much pain back, into his life. I couldn't believe him. Hearing Rafe talk to his father in the hallway after he shut the door. He hugged his father and held him within his arms. Knowing that there was nothing better than the feeling of having a parent around. I sat down on the couch, listening to shoes clicking against the wooden floor as it echoed into the house. "Let me get you a drink, go sit down on the couch." He spoke to his father as they stood in between the living room and the kitchen. I moved to the very end of the couch to stay far away from him, looking at the presumed dead man whose funeral we were at a month ago.
I couldn't believe he was sitting on the couch. His hat sat on his knee while he looked around the house he had purchased that ended up going to his son. Rafe came into the living room and held a drink of gin in his hand for his father. Rafe came to sit down beside me after handing the drink to his father. "Thank you son. How are you both?" He asked while taking a sip of the alcoholic beverage that his son had provided for him. I shook my head. "You're not going to come into here after being presumed dead, causing so much trauma for your own son and family, and showing up out of nowhere?" I spoke with an attitude forming into my voice out of anger. Rafe laid his hand on my thigh and shook his head at me. He whispered,"Stop Isla. You don't know what he's been through." I shook my head at him, making eye contact with him and then glancing at his father. "What has he been through? What about you? What about him leaving my friend to bleed out on my lap?" I asked. Ward shook his head and crossed his leg over his other. He interviewed his fingers within each other. Rafe shook his head at me. "Stop, he's said he has something to tell us. He might know where your friends are." He whispered to me once again. I had nodded my head at him and had been taken aback by him trying to deceive his father by making it seem like he cared about him enough.
Remembering the extreme pain that he had gone through from days on end erupted into my mind knowing that this could end poorly again. "Isla is pregnant so I guess you could say pretty amazing." Rafe turned to his father and leaned back against the couch. He sunk himself into the couch while I had pulled my legs up against my chest and turned my body towards Ward. The older man looked more aged than my father, meaning that he hadn't been taking care of himself. Ward's eyes brightened in excitement as he looked at me. "With my grandchild?" He asked. Rafe nodded his head and smiled thinking about the baby that was growing inside of me. "This is the best news that I have heard in a month." Ward spoke once again. He trailed his eyes down at my legs that pressed against my chest. "Taking the Cameron name?" He asked and sat the drink down on the table. Rafe nodded his head. "What a wonderful thing, son. You know how to take care of a baby, no?" He asked once again and looked at his son that had sunken into the soft couch. "Are you saying that because you want him to leave me?" I asked Ward in an anger knowing that Ward wanted his family back under his toxic spell he held them under. "I can't just ask my son if he knows how to take care of an innocent baby?" He questioned. I stared at him in confusion. "Can you cut to the chase, Ward?" I asked him in response and knew that he was trying to avoid talking about what he had done. He faked his death. A fake death that was traumatic to everyone around him.
The death that was faked so extreme that it put Rafe into another dimension of anger and sadness for the weeks that I had to deal with him out of love and comfort. Ward did nothing but damage the family but on top of that, put everyone else in harm's way because of his own misery. Ward had been taken aback by the comment I made. His blue eyes that matched my boyfriend's widened in shock that I was able to speak up for myself. "I had to hide for the sake of my family. Getting the items I took from John B was for his own good, I wanted Sarah to stop following him." He explained with a soft sigh forming in the back of his throat as he had looked at us. Rafe crossed his arms over his chest. "He was getting himself in trouble that I didn't want my daughter to be in. Did I harm people in the way of it? Yes, it was the worst mistake I could ever make but I was doing it to protect my daughter and the rest of your friends." He expressed once again in a tone that made me almost believe him until I had remembered the blood that sat in my lap from JJ; the one in my group that if something ever happened to him, I wouldn't be able to live. The memories of that night tormented me; seeing the Chief of Police get shot dead alongside my friend being shot in the shoulder, collapsing on the ground and bleeding out along my fingers and knees caused a trauma that I couldn't escape from.
Nights after that would pass by where I would have nightmares. Nightmares that would cause me to breathe heavily, struggling to grasp for air, unable to get up from sleep. Gasping for air once I woke up with an immense amount of tears falling down my face. Never did I want to tell my family, boyfriend, or friends because I knew that they would be concerned about me. The stress was so toxic to my body that escaping OuterBanks for the time that Rafe and I did became my happiness once again. Until I found out my friends were missing and a fake dead man showing up to the house had caused me to have flashbacks of that tragic night. Seeing JJ's bright blue eyes roll back into the back of his head. Blood covering me. Screaming like my life had depended on it, as if that even made the police come faster. Till this day I see blood stuck into the creases of my nails as I held his shoulder in my hands, begging JJ to stay awake and to not die on me. Many people would say "Get over it" but something that tragic was hard to ease. Hard to swallow when you really go through that feeling of uncertainty. All hope is lost.
"That doesn't really make sense. I was held at gunpoint by Barry. I don't believe you." I told the older man before Rafe darted his eyes towards my direction. He was speechless, knowing that I had called out his father for his ruthless behavior. "He was even searching for me that night. On top of that, you fucking killed a police officer?" I raised my tone in my voice as I started to get worked up about the situation. Knowing the trouble he had put me through but also my friends and boyfriend. He destroyed everything I could ever think of. He was a horrible father and an overall horrible person even if he was trying to "save" and do what was best for his family. "Sheriff Peterkin had a family but you didn't think about that when you pulled the trigger on that woman." I swallowed the pain in my throat as Ward stared at me with tears starting to form in his eyes. "I didn't mean to kill her." He spoke in response to me. His manipulation trick of causing himself to be the victim. "Save your tears for your pillow, Ward. You will not be in your grandchild's life ever. You can fuck yourself for the way that you constantly victimize yourself and make yourself to be the best human ever. I don't give a shit if you want to go back into your family's life, but you sure as hell aren't coming into mine and that means your son too." I yelled at him and stood up from the couch as Rafe tried to grasp for my hand to sit back down. I pulled my hand away from him, looking down at him with tears ready to flood out of my eyes.
I started to walk away from them. Hearing the couch creak, I walked away from the noise and went towards the bedroom. "You're a little ungrateful bitch." Ward called out towards me. I had turned around and sucked the tears back into the corners of my eyes. I crossed my arms over my chest. "Oh, I'm an ungrateful little bitch? aren't you a murder and a horrible person?" I asked in a sarcastic tone as Rafe stood up from the couch. He threw his eyes back and forth while I argued with his father. "Don't you just want my son for his money?" He called out towards me. I looked at him and rolled my eyes. Laughter wanted to explode from my throat but it didn't push itself out. "Oh no, but when did you start calling yourself a father? Didn't you use to beat your son and abuse him?" I asked him in response as I started to walk myself closer to him in a way that made me seem much bigger than what I was. Ward stood much taller than me, like his son. I walked up towards Ward's face and gleamed into his cold hearted blue eyes. His eyes turned ice cold, he raised his hand and slapped me across my face. His blood ran cold in his body. The pain of his slap ran through my body as my cheek turned red. Rafe came in between us before I had widened my eyes to look at Ward.
"Did you just hit my girlfriend?" Rafe exclaimed in an angry tone as he pushed his dad with his hands. His father raised his hands in an innocent manner. "I didn't mean to son." He explained. I turned away from the sight of him and started to head into the direction of the bedroom with my hand against my cheek. "You never fucking touch her ever again or I'll fucking kill you." He raised his voice at his dad before his dad began to touch chests with him. Ward pushed his son away from him, knowing that Rafe was much more stronger than him in every way. "Son, please. I am so sorry." Ward mumbled to his son and raised his hands once again to prove his innocence. Rafe shook his head at him. "No, you're not. You're not sorry about anything. You're an awful father and an even more awful person." He yelled at his father in pure anger. My body rushed with shock, unable to even think about what had happened. I didn't know how to react to a man hitting me. The first time I had ever been hit with aggression and abuse. "Get the fuck out dad. I don't care if you didn't mean to hit her." He yelled in the living room as I shut the bedroom door behind me. I shuffled my feet to the bed, pushing my legs up to my chest as warm tears poured down my cheeks thinking about the night that caused trauma for everyone. Thinking about the fact that a man had hit me with his full force; a force that was so strong it brought pure tears to stream out on my cheeks. It felt unbelievable. I pulled the sheets up onto my legs and stared at the wall through the eyes that were blurry from the tears that streamed down my face. Hearing the door slam caused a sense of anxiety through my body. My body started to shake, overwhelmed and unable to control it.
I swallowed the lump that sat in the back of my throat. Hearing the squeaking of the bedroom door, I couldn't even look into the direction of the door to see who was standing in the doorway. I kept my eyes on the wall, my hand touching against my cheek while the pain started to subside despite the full force that was placed into the hit. The figure of a body came towards the bed, sitting down. Rafe sat down at my feet and looked at me with nervousness in his eyes. He reached his hand out towards me which made me flinch out of anxiety that I would be hit again. "Don't flinch baby, it's just me." He spoke with gentleness in his voice. My eyes flinched when he reached his hands towards me to move my hand away from my face. My eyes started to unblur themselves after the tears had started to subside once I calmed myself down. "He won't ever touch you ever again." He spoke once again and moved towards me with calmness. He pulled my hands into his own. I looked at him with the silence that covered my face. He stared at the red mark that was left across the side of my tan face. "Come here." He whispered and pulled me towards him with a simple gentleness that was very comforting to me.
His hands brought a sense of comfort to me in a way that didn't make sense to me. I have never felt that amount of comfort until I had Rafe. He was the one that made me feel an immense amount of love, making me feel loved and cared from deep within. He wrapped his hands around me, his large arms comforting around my shoulders. He placed his head on top of mine and pulled me closer into his chest. I started to bawl the tears into his chest out of anger and pain that built up in me. Sobbing into his chest released the pain that ruptured my body in hysteria. I felt brand new allowing the pain to release itself. Small hushes came from my boyfriend's mouth. He brushed his fingers across the top of my head, pushing the flyaways down from the small nap hair I had. His arms around me placed a comfort, like a blanket had for a baby. As much as he loved his father and wanted the best for him, he threatened him with aggression and death if he were to lay his hands upon me once again. It was unbearable and erratic behavior from his dad. His dad was a terrible man whether people wanted to believe if he killed Sheriff Peterkin or not.
He abused his children besides his girls; Sarah got whatever she wanted from him. Wheezie was forgotten about half of the time but she was well aware that she didn't come close to Sarah. He was an angry and hateful man all because he never got what he wanted in the scheme of things. He was an awful person that wanted others to suffer from inside and out. He never treated Rafe with any sort of respect that made him feel wanted and loved. He never was able to feel what it was like to have a father that participated in his life; despite that the father-son relationship struggled so poorly that Rafe started getting his hands on drugs from a young age. His father handed out cash like it was just play money, trying to get his kids out of his hair. That led to Rafe spending it on drugs and alcohol, and strip clubs once he turned eighteen years of age. He was arrested for stupid kid things that his father paid the cops for, avoiding it being on his record. His father never cared about him in a sense of emotion. He may have cared about his children that he had, but never wanted to have a single relationship with any of them and was more focused on the Royal Merchant than his family.
Rafe rocked me with tenderness in his arms to calm me down from the anxiety and pain that rushed throughout my entire body. He laid his cheek against the top of my head, rubbing my back to comfort me as much as he could doing that moment. He would leave small kisses against my head as my tears covered his sweatshirt that he had been wearing.
I didn't want to hold any of this against him knowing that this would live with him for the rest of his life. It wasn't even his fault. I knew he would protect me.
"I shouldn't have even let him in, it's my fault." He said to me as I pulled my face away from his head to see his eyes water from anger. He was angry that he allowed harm to come towards me. I shook my head at him in response and stared into his eyes that were full of anger. "No, it's not your fault. I shouldn't have mouthed off to him." I spoke to him in response. He shook his head. He wanted deep down to just have a normal life. He didn't want to have the lifestyle that he had, wanting to change everything that he could in his ability.
Nothing was our fault but somehow it led back to the idea of being in OuterBanks.
10:30 pm.
Rafe laid in the large bed we had shared. Laying his hands against my covered stomach after we had locked the entire house up. He stared at the television that was playing in the room, the small fireplace lit and warmed up the cozy room. Being in his presence caused so much more comfort than I had ever had. He was my protection, pure happiness and first real love despite the crushes I had before him. Nothing would ever compare to him. I laid my head on his chest, laying my hand underneath my head. The ring that was gifted by his grandmother sat on my finger, dainty and just as beautiful as it was when his grandmother had it. "Do you think that we should move out of OuterBanks?" I asked him out of curiosity as I kept my eyes on the television that was mantled up on the wall. Silence formed around us almost like he was thinking during that moment. "What makes you want to do that?" He questioned me in response.
I moved my head up to look at his tired eyes while rasp overtook his voice. He yawned gently, then glanced down at my eyes. "If you think about it, every issue we've ever had was from living in the OuterBanks. What if we escaped it?" I asked him and felt him run his fingers across my scalp. His long fingers entangled themselves into the curls on my head. "Where?" He spoke into the silence of the room while rain tumbled across the outside of the house. Constant pouring from the early morning up until the late evening. "I don't know, somewhere with the ocean. What about California?" I asked him and narrowed my eyebrows while running my fingers across his chest.
"To start a new life for us but for the baby." I told him.
"I want to get far away from the OuterBanks to avoid our baby being brought into the issues that are entangled in that environment." I spoke once again.
He kissed the top of my head. "It's a big decision but we would need to think heavily about it." He spoke to me in the tiredness of his voice. I nodded my head and looked back down at the ring that sat on my finger.
"Don't think too much about anything right now. You need to rest." He spoke once again and rested his hand entangled in my hair. "I love you."
"I love you too, my girl."
The idea of moving away from OuterBanks was something I never imagined doing but if it was the best for our mental and physical health, alongside the wellbeing of our baby — I didn't think it would be the worst issue.
We needed to let a new light in.