TW: None :)
As Alvyia walked through the underpass and into the tunnels under Orchard her mind stood still, on the one hand, she was so incredibly grateful for what Emily had done for her and wanted to express that to her but on the other hand, she was also exhausted from the past few weeks.
Moving felt like a whole new challenge she was under-prepared for, she had almost less than 24 hours until everything changed: her school, her friends, her home. It was a lot to process, she walked through what felt like a fog tracing the familiar path till she reached the Sephora nestled in the heart of the Ion Sanjana stood by the big striped sign with a smile on her face.
"Hey, Ms. Als what's up?" she exclaimed in a cool laid-back voice while simultaneously greeting Alyvia with a hug.
"Hey," Ali said letting out a sigh of relief, being in her friend's embrace felt like a comfort she didn't know just how much she missed. Her heart hurt a little knowing soon Sanjana would not be there to give her hugs when she fell, before she could spiral into any level of emotion Snajana asked
" So what's going on? For real Ali no bullshit." Alyvia locked arms with her friend as they walked past different stores until they reached the Starbucks that sat on the end of the strip of stores on level B1, once they had settled down at a table Alvyia began to fill in Sanjana with not only what's been going on but also what would be happening soon.
"I um when I came back to my dorm, well the damage you saw," Alyvia shuddered "I did something impulsive again- but I'm okay really. I am so sorry that I put you through the emotional turmoil as well, you and the others did nothing it was not your fault, I'm sorry." Sanjana reached out her hand and placed it on top of Alyvia's before speaking
"Ali, we know. The damage the mean kids that school did to you was horrific. Horrific. We were so scared we all loved you- you do know that? We want you to be happy, we want you to be safe. You have never been anything but kind, and funny, Alyvia you mean so much to us we don't know what we- I would have done without you. You impacted me, you affected me in all the most incredible ways. Your smile, you are always there when I need you for boyfriend advice. Oh, Ali, I love you. I love you so much, I am so happy you're alive," She squeezed Alvyia's hand
"No hurt feelings, you have been through so much the past few years and you pushed through, you are one of the strongest people I know, you are so much more than what happened to you. I know whatever happens next you will be okay. You will be okay because you are brave, you are strong, and when you not that's okay too you don't have to be strong all the time."
Alyvia sat still, her emotions still trapped underneath her skin but her thankfulness sat right at the surface. She let out a long sigh looking Sanjana in the eye,
" I love you too. Thank you for sticking around when all this went down, your friendship- you mean a lot to me."
"Speaking of that the others are so sorry they could not make it, they send their love though."
"It's okay." Alyvia tried to play off the pinch hurt she felt continuing to fill in with her friend about what the next steps were, " So then today... I got adopted?!!" she announced still in some shock and disbelief herself.
" Omg omg, Ali!! That's wonderful, I am so happy for you!" Sanjana was smiling from ear to ear,
"But there is the catch-"
"You have to leave tomorrow right?" Alvyia nodded. "We are going to DC, my student pass is non-existent anymore so we have to leave as soon as we can. It's just all so sudden, I am so thankful for Emily. I mean she is amazing and sweet. I trust her it's just there is a lot happening at once and I can't fully trust her right away, you know why. I don't know what to feel it's all really complicated."
"Ali you have the right to feel whatever you need to feel, I know you can't fully give her your trust yet that's okay. I know you've wanted an adult to care for a long time and because of that, you have gotten mixed up with adults who took you under their wing only to try to play saviour in all the wrong ways. You have reasons to not be fully open or trusting right away, but from how you talk about Emily she does care. All of this feels like a lot and feels like your life is spinning out of control but I think you get to see a new country. Explore a new place, you just have to take it one step at a time."
"I know, I know it's just hard. I mean hell, I hold an American passport yet have never lived there. I don't feel American in any way but I look at it. Not to mention I'll be leaving you and the girls behind."
"It's okay. It's a lot, it's shitty but you will get through this. We are here to call, we can skype and we will find time. Ali we love you regardless of where you live and we will always be here if you need us."
"Thank you, I'm here too, you know? Just because I am overseas does not mean you can't call and fill me in on your boyfriend." Ali drew out the "d" in boyfriend for dramatic effect. "Also, my grandma left me some cash, and guess who has no wardrobe.... Me! I was wondering if we could go shopping?"
" Oh Ali, you know I never would pass up shopping!" Sanjana giggled. The two friends made their way through many stores picking out different things from jeans to corduroys, to hoodies and long-sleeved tops. Ali liked shopping with Sanjana because she knew that clothes could be upsetting for her at times because of her past.
So when they were at a store Alyvia would find something she wanted to try, and Sanjana would find her size but not show it to Alyvia. Sanjana would keep sticky notes in her bag and cover the tag, Alyvia could easily look under the sticky note but tried really hard not to. She did not want to ruin this last night with her friend, once each item was bought Sanjana would rip off the tag or color over it with a marker.
Alyvia got lucky with her friends, she was so grateful to Sanjana that she would give her a hug after each time they would buy something new. After a few hours of shopping the duo made their way back to Sanjana's family townhouse out by Bukit Timah with bags of different clothes. Alvyia tried not to just get sweatpants and hoodies with Sanjana's help she ended up getting a wider variety of clothes than she had planned on.
When they entered Snajana's room, Faye, Nyoko, Zatana, and Mei popped out from varying hiding places screaming "Surprise!!" Tuning on the lights revealing, balloons, mattresses set up for a group sleepover, and a stash of all of Alvyia's favorite snacks but the most special thing in the room to Alyvia that wasn't her amazing friends was the sign that they had made that said "Welcome back/Farwell/We love you!" written on it.
Alyvia was taken aback in the best way she stood there in shock for what felt like forever but was only a millisecond before rushing in the arms of her friends, they met her with a big group hug. The mix of six perfumes created a concoction of comfort for the group, giggles and tears were shed, Alyvia sat down on one of the mattresses surrounded by her best friends and filled them in just like she had done with Sanjana.
Their responses were similar to Sanjana's as well,
"Ali- did you really think we would not let you say goodbye? My love! We love you too much to just let you slip past us like that." Zatana spoke in her loving tone. Alyvia giggled and shook her head, she knew they would not let her go without some form of a goodbye. Even though she was incredibly thankful for what her friends had pulled off for her she also felt a pang of guilt in her stomach for doubting them but the feeling was short soon they were talking about love interests over cheeto puffs and chocolate.
After face masks, halfway through one of Alvyia's favorite movies; Coraline, they all went to Anchor Point Mall and got some bubble tea. Alyvia knew she was going to miss getting her boba as well as being able to go out at night she would go out all the time before Tomas but since then this was the first time she had gone out past dark, she only went because she was surrounded by the most amazing people she knew.
They spent the night reminiscing about silly things they had done together throughout the years.
Nyoko laughed, "Remember when we were drawing in the yearbook over Mr. Ran's picture and he came up behind us?"
"I do! Oh oh, and when he suck up behind us and we ran away screaming!!" Faye chimed in.
"Oh my he looked so confused." Sanjana giggled.
"Or or when we would sneak into the theater and Kechik would hook up with karaoke and we would just sing as loud as we wanted?" Mei chuckled.
"Yes! And after that Algebra 2 final we all thought we failed. We just screamed in the theater till we could not feel our vocal chords!" Alyvia interjected with the joy of remembering the past.
From the evening till the early morning the group of girls played cards, read each other's tarots for fun, talked about how far they had come, watched a few more movies, painted each other's nails and eventually all fell asleep around four in the morning.
Somewhere around 11:30 Sanjana woke up, made everyone some coffee, and brewed some tea, around 11:50 Nyoko made some pancakes and waffles (She insisted on it, she said "We must go big or go home!") Trying to not bring down the mood that within a few hours, Alyvia would be on a plane to the US, within the next hour each girl had gotten up slowly making their way to the coffee or tea slowly sipping and waking up with no rush just enjoying each other's company.
They took turns showering and getting dressed eventually they all were sitting on the mattresses chatting and putting on their morning makeup.
Once they were all ready, Sanjana eagerly said "Time for gifts!" She stepped aside to reveal a small pile of gifts sitting on a table in the middle of the bedroom
"Gifts? Guys you didn't need to..." Alyvia meant every word she said, she did not need anything while money from her Grandmother was one thing she hated others spent money on her.
"Truly the best gift is being with all of you- that's all I could ask for..."
"Well too bad," Nyoko guided Alvyia to sit down at the table
" We got them for you anyway." she added lovingly.
"Oooo I'll go first," Faye avidly said as she handed a small navy blue box to Alyvia inside there was a necklace with a small Saturn and Moon charm on a silver chain.
" I love you to the Moon and to Saturn." She smiled trying no to let tears escape leaning into the hug Alvyia had led her into.
"To the moon and to Saturn." Alyvia whispered softly.
"Our turn," Zatana said quietly not wanting to ruin their moment. She and Sanjana moved to hand a larger bag to Alyvia, inside was a forest backpack with stars on the front pouch,
"Look inside." Sanjana motioned to the top pouch, both Zatanna and Sanjana had written little notes of encouragement on canvas and sewn them into the bag.
"You are loved. I'm here for anything remember that you are not alone. - Zatanna" and " The one I can count on, the one who's there for me. I am here for you, you will always have me in your corner. - Sanjana"
Alvyia could not explain the love she felt in this moment, they took time out of their day to do this for her, and they cared. She thanked them with long hugs and small "I love you's" Nyoko piped up in her most delicate voice,
"This is for you." Inside the light pink wrapping paper, there was a small book that had been hand-bound, it was titled " Alvyia's Cookbook." Inside there were all sorts of different recipes hand written out by Nyoko, all different dishes she had made Alvyia over their friendship as well as some of the comfort meals Alvyia loves.
"You will be able to taste home even if you're not really here. I know food can be a challenge at times but it's not your enemy. Make something from here and it will be like I'm holding your hand the whole time." Nyoko said into Alyvia's shoulder because the teen had jumped up and wrapped her arms around Nyoko.
After Alvyia thanked her, Alyvia turned to face Mei who had been rather quiet all morning she reached down and picked up a well-wrapped box that had been sitting at her feet.
" We all helped a little with this one but, well I'll let you see." She handed the box to Alvyia, as Alvyia opened the lid she sucked in her breath inside there were little trinkets from their friendship; movie tickets, boba receipts, pictures, the most special of all there was a little white tiger with blue eyes not just any blue eyes but Alyvia's tiger's blue eyes.
"How..." Alvyia asked gingerly looking at the tiger in the box
"I came back to our room after parents' weekend and saw what those little dickheads had done to your things, I saw the box with the ashes in it- I know just how much that tiger meant to you. I called up a friend I had in the art department and they helped me to sew the eyes into a new tiger. If you look on the belly we have each signed our names- so wherever you are" Mei's voice began to break ever so slightly " We will be with you."
She looked at Alyvia whose eyes had begun to fill with tears these people were the reason she made it through school, they made each day bearable no matter how shitty the day was. She was going to miss them so much.
" Awww... guys." Was all she could get out before a small bout of tears fell from her eyes, they fell into a group hug just enjoying being with one another.
Too soon the clock hit four and Alvyia could hear the doorbell ring announcing the arrival of Emily. Alyvia had put on some of her new sweatpants and a hoodie because she was about to be on a non-stop plane for 21 hours. Mei helped to re-braid her hair, and Sanjana's mom let Alyvia borrow their washing machine and dryer to clean her clothes. Alvyia was able to fit them into her new backpack and an old duffle bag Sanjana had left over from middle school.
Alvyia's friends walked her up to the front door and were greeted by Emily talking to Sanjana's mother, Alvyia nodded to Emily to let her know she just needed one more hug, and Emily nodded back. She turned to her friends and said softly
"Not goodbye, just see you later." They all began to cry a little, Alvyia hugged Mei, Nyoko, Faye, Zatana and Sanjana one by one before they turned into a group hug holding on extra long for this last time. Alvyia walked to the car bags in hand her tears leaving streak marks across her cheeks, sitting in the car next to Emily she waved to her friends as the car pulled out of the driveway and down the street heading to the airport.
As soon as they were out of the neighborhood and on the highway Alyvia's emotions had dried up into a dull numb ache in her chest. Emily looked over at the teen whose eyes faced forward and did not move, she decided to let the teen have her space, the last thing she wanted to do was push Alyvia too far.
They reached the airfield, where they met Clara in the little terminal attached to the small runway. Alvyia made no noise, no movement, she did not cry, she did not get angry, yell or make snappy comments, in fact she said nothing.
Emily exchanged a worried look with Clara who only gave her a look of reassurance, both Emily and Clara had a small dinner and talked about the upcoming flight and plans after they landed in DC. Emily made a small note of Alvyia not being very hungry, taking some almonds, Meiji saltines, and Bin Bin rice cakes when they walked out of the terminal to board the plane. She knew the plane would have snacks and food but she wanted to make sure Alvyia had something from Singapore.
Alvyia had been on small and private planes with her grandmother before but it had been a while since she had flown, she liked flying at times but it always made her anxious. Alvyia picked a seat by the window while Emily and Clara sat at the table facing one another. The captain made an account over the plane's radio that today's flight would be 21 hours and 19 minutes, the weather looked good and they were on schedule.
Alvyia put in her headphones, she fiddled with the necklace Faye gifted her, and placed the little white tiger on her lap. At this point she did not care that she looked childish, she just wanted to feel safe. The plane taxied the runway slowly moving faster and faster until the wheels were off the ground and they were in the air, the Singapore skyline was a silhouette against the sunset filled with hues of orange, pink, and purple.
Alvyia sat very still, she dug her nails into her palm trying to keep everything she was feeling together. She knew she probably would not come back to Singapore for a long time, she knew the chance of seeing her friends again was slim, she hated what the school did to her, and she wanted to leave for so long yet now as she flew away she felt a melancholy ache one of longing one she did not know how to decipher.
Alvyia sat looking straight ahead for a few hours until Emily who had been watching the girl came and kneeled in front of Alvyia placing her hand tenderly on Alvyia's knee trying not to startle the girl. Alvyia broke her gaze from the wall for the first time since they had taken off and looked at Emily.
"Hey love, it's gonna be a long flight do you want something to eat?" Emily asked, Alvyia responded robotically,
"No thank you."
Emily tried again, " Are you tired, would you like to lie down? There is a couch." Emily knew that Alvyia knew there was a couch but asking and offering did no harm, she hoped it would help reorient the girl to her surroundings.
"I am a little tired." Alvyia responded she feared if she said anymore the tears and the fear would swallow her,
"How about you go lay on the couch for a while?" Emily suggested, guiding the teen to the back of the small cabin, she let Emily lead the way. Alvyia laid down on the couch but still felt afraid, she did not want Emily to leave. Emily began to walk back to where she had been sitting wanting to give the teen her own space, when Alvyia sat up quickly and meekly said
"Emily?" The women turned and walked back to where Alvyia was. "Yes honey?"
"Um- I- I don't like to sleep in the silence." Emily could tell that Alvyia was nervous and exhausted, leading her to sit on the edge of panic so she asked
" Would you like me to stay? I could read you a book." Alvyia nodded, Emily walked past the couch to where the luggage was held and getting the copy of the Chronicles of Narnia from the cardboard box they had uncovered yesterday. She sat back down on the couch putting the pillow on her lap and patting it to show Alvyia she could rest her head there, Alvyia nested herself on the couch resting her head on Emily's lap.
Clara who had been watching everything unfold came over with a blanket in hand and placed it on top of the shivering teen. "Thank you," Alvyia mumbled to both women, Clara nodded a small "You're welcome." heading back to her seat to get some sleep herself.
Alyvia was beginning to realize just how tired she was, her body relaxed knowing that Emily was near she yawned her eyes beginning to become heavy. Emily leaned down, stroking her curls lightly, and whispered
"Ali, honey you are safe. You are okay, I am right here. I won't leave, I promise. Take a deep breath, and listen to my voice." she kissed the top of Alvyia's hair gently, then she opened the book and turned to the first page,
"Chapter One, Lucy Looks Into The Wardrobe, Once there were four children whose names were Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy. This story is about something that happened to them when they were sent away from London during the war because of the air raids..."
She read until she was sure the teen had fallen asleep, kissing her head one more time "Sweet dreams, my love" Emily leaned her head back soon drifting off herself.
Here is Emily reading the book she read to Alvyia:
A/N
I hope you liked the mixed media aspect :) I hope the chapter was okay as well, don't forget to take a little time for you this week eat a little something, drink a little something, if you need to get up from the work you are doing to take a breather that is okay too :)
& with that I'll see you next Friday!