(Faith pov)
April-20th-2019
Hotel📍
~Nightmare~
Faith: "Ari!? Moonlight!?" I yell around in an empty house. "This isn't funny Babe!! Stop playing around!!"
I continue to creep around the hallway & I hear crying at the end of the hallway. Slowly I walk towards it…I stop & hesitate before opening the door. Slowly open the door & walk in.
The whole room changed & I was outside in the middle of the street when I turned around I saw Courtney crying & in her arms Ariana covered in blood.
Courtney: "You Fucking did this Shit you Bitch!! She's dead because of you, why did you let her die!!! Just because Nico Died too didn't mean you had to take her too!!!"
Faith: "I…I…I…Didn't mean to…She's not dead noo!! Shut up, this isn't real!!!"
Courtney: "Really look around this isn't real!? Fuck you all she wanted was to understand you, but noo she's here & you have to live with that for the rest of your life…you didn't just take her take you stole her, fuck you Faith!! She'd be better off without you in her life!!"
I didn't want to believe this, I didn't want her to be gone. All I could do was stare at her covered in blood, it was fault she wasn't supposed to go with me.
Nico: "Great Job sis, great fucking job I swear all you do is hurt the people around & kill anyone you absolutely love…por tu culpa ella esta muerta, deberias estar orgulloso de eso no? Right I forgot you couldn't even show up to my goddam funeral!!"
I just looked back & forth with my brother & Ariana. Her life was in my hands…I did the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt her. I was supposed to give her the world & I took that from her.
Nico: "You're going to stand there like a bitch!!! On God Faith Grow the fuck up She's dead its your fault live with like you lived with my Death…Because everyone around you dies all you do is reek of Blood!!" He gets all up in my face.
Faith: "Shut up!!! Shut up!!! Ya Cállate!!! Esto no es real!!! Get out of my head , stop doing this to me, she's not dead!!" I push him back
Nico: "Look at her!!! Fucking look at her cover in blood."
He grabs me & takes me over to Ariana but before she has a chance to shove me I wake up.
~Nightmare ends~
I immediately woke up scared, panicking, hands shaking. I couldn't even pull myself together to look over to see if Ari was there. With all my tossing & turning she mumbled my name.
Ariana: "Faith!?"
Looking at her all I could imagine was her covered in wounds & blood. That was the draw for me. I immediately rushed out of bed into the bathroom & wanted to throw up.
Faith's: "Mmm I'm going to fucking throw up!!"
I made it to the sink taking as many deep breaths I could trying to calm down. I tried to do what I always did when I had one of these episodes but it wasn't helping at all.
Ariana: "Faith!!! Babe!!? What's wrong you okay!?" I knew I woke her up.
She rushed to my side & when she touched my shoulder it all came back. I fell down next to the toilet puking.
~minutes later~
Faith's thoughts: "When I thought I put these emotions behind me only for it to all come back & bite the shit out of me."
Ariana gave me a towel & I wiped myself off. I sit back against the wall collecting myself back up. This felt as bad as the months I first lost my brother.
Faith's thoughts: "That stupid nightmare & my stupid driving!!"
If I only paid attention I wouldn't be in this situation & letting it all come back.
Ariana: "You okay!?" She looks over worried at me.
Faith: "Ya." I sigh looking down playing with my fingers.
Ariana: "Okay…mmmm…you scared the living shit out of me!! What the hell happened? We were sleeping & then you got up & started throwing up!? Like fuck my I'm literally shaking right now."
I didn't try to look up at her.
Ariana: "If this keeps up I'm going to have to start taking my medication again, you're making me worry Fae…I don't want to raise my voice or fight with you, just tell me what's wrong?"
Faith: "I…I…I…mmm…I…." I hesitate to tell her.
Ariana: "Fae, come you can trust me I've known you for my whole life tell me please."
I continued to look away from her, I had to tell her eventually. I didn't think or want it to be this soon. I take a deep breath.
Faith: "I had a nightmare & it….& it was about you, it scared me the shit out of me it felt so real, I saw you dead & it was my fucking fault if I didn't pay attention to that God dam car we wouldn't be here talking, it makes sick to my stomach that I was the one who almost put you in the hospital."
Ariana: "You're not going to…hey I'm still here nothing happened to me, it wasn't your fault."
Faith: "But What if it did? I can't go through that again, I can't…I'm sorry." I tell her, frustrated with tears.
4am in the morning & I'm crying on her shoulder letting all my tears out. She finally saw the vulnerable side of me I didn't want her to see.
(Ariana pov)
Home L.A.📍
She finally was able to go back to sleep but it hurt me watching her like that so broken. I cried right after she fell asleep.
Ariana's thoughts: "I just want to hold you tightly." Look over at her sleeping.
I sit next to her & pull out a handmade bracelet with crosses, music instruments & her initials on it.
Ariana's thoughts: "Why do you have to hurt yourself for this long." I sigh.
I put the bracelet on & go downstairs for coffee. Wiping my tears away, I shouldn't worry too much knowing my baby is safe in our room.
Myron & Toulouse walk out & walk towards me very happy to see me like always.
Ariana: "Hey babies, are the both of you excited to see me? I bet you are." I smile while petting them. "I bet you're hungry for an early breakfast aren't you two, huh."
I brought the bowl of food holding them with the only thought in my mind was about Faith.
Ariana: "Ya that's why I'm your momma because I take care & love you both to death…am I really a good momma if I can't take care of your other momma upstairs." They look confused looking at the bowl. "Neither of you understand shit that's okay, here eat up." Set the bowls down.
I feed them food & drink my coffee looking outside the window as the sun is rising. Faith would enjoy this early morning watching the sun rise.
Ariana's thoughts: "Tour life was supposed to bring us close but guess I was wrong." I sigh. "I'm going to be the best girlfriend ever, I don't give a shit I don't ever want to see her like that ever."
I've made up my mind that our schedules won't affect our relationship outside the tour. I was going to make it a job to take care of Fae & understand Fae. I don't want to lose another Angel in my life…not again I'm not going to let her fall in that hole.
~hours later~
Studio📍
Courtney: "You okay!?" She asks.
I yawn tired but I've been drinking my coffee so I know I can manage.
Ariana: "Nah I'm good really after my coffee I'm going to feel better than ever."
Courtney: "You sure!?"
Ariana: "No I'm not, I have Coachella to perform & almost getting hit by a car that shit is scary." I sigh looking over at Faith.
Victoria glances over at Faith. I look at her too & she's on her phone listening to music like nothing happened this morning.
Courtney: "We'll get it seriously if you need to cancel that performance you can, your fans will understand too."
Ariana: "I'm fine kinda, I just don't want to cancel, they've been looking forward to this all week." I drink my coffee.
Victoria: "Whatever you decide your best friends have your back, we bitches stay together."
She makes me crack a smile only for it to go back to Faith. I couldn't get my mind off her, how she acted, how she felt. I even hid the bracelet wearing a long sleeved shirt. The last thing I want her to do is panic again & break down.
Doug: "Hey I heard what happened I'm glad you two are okay."
Ariana: "We're fine that hella good, like really good, it was like one of the scariest shit I've experienced, ya enough of that I'm hungry."
Like that I get up trying to act cool heading to the mini snack section in the studio. Looking through everything, grabbing snacks. I look back to everyone socializing having fun with each of the guys vibing & my girls laughing. There's my Faith in her little corner all alone lost in her own world.
Ariana: "You hungry?" I sat down next to her offering a bag of grapes.
She shakes her head no.
Ariana: "There chips, cookies, gummies, or we can order some tacos or Carnitas?" I nervously ask her.
Faith: "I'm good I'm not that hungry Moonlight, thanks though."
Ariana: "You okay?"
Faith: "I'll manage, don't worry if something comes up I'll tell you I promise…umm I wouldn't mind some water." She smiles weakly.
Ariana: "Okay water yup I can for sure get you that water one the premium glacier Agua para mi Fae, anything else?" I giggle.
Faith: "No just water dork." She cracks a smile.
Ariana: "Well you better not eat my grapes."
Faith: "I promise I'll keep them safe from the grape snatchers."
It warmed my heart seeing her smile like that again, it's been only two days since the incident but we're getting along.
Ariana: "Only the best Agua for my bebe." I smile.
Faith: "Thanks." She sighs.
I sit down & rest my head on her shoulder.
Ariana: "You don't always have to act like you're alone or tough, we have our friends here & you have me?"
Faith: "It helps being alone sometimes lost in your head helps clear things up, or make this a little worse but I managed." She nervously says. "& those people they're more friends to you than to me, Courtney is family but I usually feel out of place." She smiles weakly.
Ariana: "These amazing people are your fucking friends too they've help me go through a lot of shit, we go back years."
Faith: "Ya we did too…"
Ariana: "Try to have fun, try to forget about the car & the nightmare…you don't have to go through it alone anymore you have me, just talk to me okay, you don't have to keep it to yourself anymore."
Faith: "Ya I know." She sighs. "But I can't distract myself enough because it's all I can think about, all I see when I close my eyes, it frustrates me at times like I want to tell you but I can't."
Ariana: "Don't think, stop thinking the more you streets about it the more it's going to stay…trust me I know." I hold her hands.
Faith: "I know I just can't help myself, that's just who I am."
As I'm about to tell her something a rubber band flies our way.
Courtney: "Head up!!! Sorry, it wasn't my fault the guys said they could beat me & I could not let them win."
Jace: "Our fault sorry, the 20 is still down?"
Courtney: "Ya it is…want to play?"
I giggle rolling my eyes.
Faith: "Nah I'm good."
Courtney: "Lame…come just one game?"
Ariana: "One round & you're not saying no okay we're going to have fun." I pull her up &, take her by the hand.
(Natalie pov)
April-25th-2019
College📍
Natalie's thoughts: "Finally I can take a break for classes, next time I'm not staying up late watching movies."
I fall down onto my bed, & my dorm mate looks at me confused.
Natalie: "Hey don't judge I'm tired as fuck."
Bailey: "I'm not judging."
Natalie: "If you're still here, wake me up in like 3 hours."
Bailey: "Sure & while I'm at it do you want a sandwich & Monster?"
I groan tired as hell.
Natalie: "Very fun hahaha hilarious no I don't need that Bailey just wake me up pls goodnight."
Bailey: "Ya don't worry I gotch you."
~Hours later~
I woke up by myself looking at the phone & I slept for an extra hour.
Bailey: "You looked like you needed that extra hour of sleep, like classes & going back how really did a number on you."
Natalie: "Ya it did." I rub my eyes. "You don't know half of it."
I get up & take off my shoes & change into something more comfortable.
Bailey: "How did it go? You know with your sister?"
Natalie: "Complicated like always, it's like trying to win the premier league back in the 2000s, near impossible."
Bailey: "You know I barely know shit about soccer, besides our team but that's it."
Natalie: "She's difficult to deal with a hard league to play in if that makes sense."
I sit up & look at the time groaning, but that is my problem & I have a game tomorrow too.
Bailey: "Don't try to think about it too much, okay you have a big game tomorrow."
Natalie: "Ya I know." I sigh.
Bailey she's my roommate & she's an amazing best friend if you want to call it that. I tell her almost everything & it hurts to admit it. She's like the sister I've always wanted.
I don't hate my sister I fucking love her to death but she can be a pain in the ass to deal with. I just wish she was there for me to be that big sister I always needed.
Bailey: "It's still hard to believe that you knew Ariana grande & she's dating Faith, it still hurts that you didn't tell me, like come seriously. " She says sarcastically.
Natalie: "You never asked & Ariana needs her privacy duh…Ari gave me tickets to any concert just pick the one & boom we are there."
Bailey: "Shit since when!?"
Natalie: "Like a couple weeks ago."
I get up & sit on my comfy bean bag chair scrolling through my phone.
Bailey: "Okay fuck give me a minute let me look at all the concerts that are close to us, & no I'm not going to fan girl or freak out when I see her."
I roll my eyes knowing that was a lie she's going to definitely freak out the moment she sees ari.
~Message~
Ding*
Mom: Natalie hija es tu abuela ella no está bien estamos en el hospital y la están mirando
I couldn't believe just a couple weeks ago she was fine, my Abuelita. I don't care if I have a big tomorrow. Family is more important.
Natalie: "Sorry I have to take this." I change quickly.
Bailey: "What's wrong!? Hey Nat!!"
She follows me outside the dorm.
Natalie: "It's a family emergency, okay my grandma is in the hospital."