Persephone
3 years after the conclusion of the final chapter
I can barely contain my excitement as we drive through winding streets and sunny skies. Wind whips my hair through the open car window, and the warm feeling in my belly only broadens my smile.
I can't believe that today's the day Max and I get to work towards adopting our five year old, twin daughters. It's been a long 12 months of making sure everything was right and everyone was comfortable, but it's all worth it now. Max and I have been talking about adoption before we even got married, so we knew that after our wedding, and after we were all settled in, that we'd start trying to adopt.
There's still hard days, all these years later, where I wish I could be like any other woman and just have a baby. Where I wonder why it was me, that couldn't have children. But I know how to work through those days now. I have other people to hold onto, people to tell me that I'm okay, and that everything is alright.
And by having the privilege to adopt, that part of myself that I thought was gone is slowly working its way back into my heart. It's rebuilding it's structures, and learning how it can begin to feel that motherly love.
Our girls, Cora and Daisy are the happiest children I've ever seen. The two of them look like exact replicas of each other, although over the days and activities that we've spent together, I've learnt to tell them apart. We've met the girls a couple of times, taken them out to the park and to get ice-cream, things like that. Through the many days we've spent together, Max and I have bonded with the girls. We know that Cora loves arts and crafts, and Daisy will do anything to kick a soccer ball around. We know that they both love chocolate ice-cream, and we've already promised there'll always be some sitting in the freezer.
I just can't wait to tuck the girls into bed, to make our home full with noise. We can't fully adopt them yet, but we have a period of foster care to work through to ensure that the girls are happy and comfortable in our home.
I snap back to reality as Max pulls into a parking lot outside of the child service's office. After putting the car into park, Max grasps my hand, leaning across the centre console of the car to kiss me. I squeeze his hand back just as strongly, the energy we both have radiating through our environment.
"Are you ready?" He asks me, a broad smile coating his lips. I can practically see the glee spilling out of his heart, his excitement to see the girls again only fuelling my own.
"Yes!" I reply, squeezing his hand once more before pushing open the car door. Our hands meet again at the bonnet of the car, swinging in the air. The air is filled with squeals as we push open the heavy door of the agency, a sound which brings a smile to my eyes.
"Hi girls!" I say, as Max and I lean down to catch their bodies as they run towards us at full speed.
"Are we going to stay at your house today?" Cora asks, as I smooth a hand across her soft hair.
"Yes, if you'd like to!"
"Yay!" Daisy says, wrapping her arms tighter around Max's neck. He laughs, the sight sending a shock to my heart. After sorting out some paperwork and talking to social workers briefly, we head back to the car, ready to take the girls back to our place.
I walk the girls to the car as Max grabs their bags, hauling them into the trunk. He moves around to the opposite side of the car to help with Cora's car seat, as I fiddle with the buckles of Daisy's. Eventually, we get their seats fixed, and we begin our journey back home.
"How long until we're at home?" Cora says, seemingly already restless.
At home.
I have to bite back a smile at the words. Two, simple words, that tell me all that I need to know about our growing family.
"Around an hour. But don't worry darlings, we can play some music if you'd like?" I say, flicking open my phone and opening Spotify.
"Yes please!"
"Who do you like listening to?"
"Taylor Swift!" [A/n: okay yes, i'm starting the swiftie cult young. sue me]
A broad smile tracing my lips, I turn around to face the girls. Their little faces are blushed with warmth, excitement radiating around the car. From beside me, Max groans comically, earning a small smack on the arm from me.
"How come I never get to choose the music?" He complains, his lips pressed into a pout like a little child. I ignore him as I press play on 1989 (Taylor's Version), trying desperately to avoid looking like a psycho in front of the girls as the opening beats of 'Style' ring out through the cars speakers.
"Hey, majority rules."
"You did this when it was a 1:1 ratio too!"
"And? I own you." I joke, flashing Max a smile loaded with sarcasm. He shakes his head, leaning over to peck my cheek at a red light.
Before I know it, we're all singing together, our voices loud and awfully out of tune. Even Max gets involved, because we all know he's non-so-secretly a swiftie. I mean, why else would I have married him?
"Can we see Laurie again?" Cora says around halfway through our trip, right before Daisy butts in.
"And Olly and Josh?"
I look across at Max, smiling. A couple of weeks ago, we took the girls to meet Laurie; Natalie and Casey girl, and Lera and Christian's two boys. They also met Melanie and Bailey, as well as Fitz and Holly, and since then, they haven't stopped talking about their new friends. If all goes well, we're planning to send the girls to the same elementary school that Olly goes to, and where Natalie and Casey are planning to send Laurie next year. I almost can't believe how close we are, how we've been able to weave all our stories together so efficiently. But the girls are like sisters to me, and I know Max has made tight bonds with all of the guys. When Max and I started discussing adoption, I had a lot of deep, in depth conversations with the girls. About my worries, about the things I was scared about. And they were with me every step of the way, non-judgemental and ready to listen. And for that, I'm forever grateful.
The drive passes quickly, and I don't think I've ever had a more fun car trip in my life. It seems euphoric to be sitting here, with Max and our children. In some of my worst days, I never thought I'd get a day like this. I couldn't visualise it, what having a family with children in it looked like. But now, we're one step closer.
As we pull into our driveway, I'm surprised to find cars parked along the street, some of which look suspiciously like my friend's cars. I catch Max's confused looking face, already biting back a laugh. My friends are simply a different breed.
After parking the car, Max and I begin to unstrap the girls from their car seats. They're giggly as they bound towards the front door, with Max and I following close behind. As I walk up our front porch, I spot Christian. his face poking through the curtains. I can't help but laugh. That idiot.
Before I can even get my keys out, the door flies open.
"Surprise!!!!" A million voices swirl together into that one singular word, with the girls laughing in glee. They race into the house, bypassing Christian and heading straight towards Laurie, Olly and Josh, their happiness evident. As the kids run out the back, I step through the door, followed closely by Max. Christian stands next to the door, an opened mouthed smile greeting us.
"We totally surprised you, didn't we!" Christian yells, as he pulls me into a tight hug.
"No, dumbass, we saw you poking your head through the window." I shake my head as I pass Christian, walking further into the house. I can only laugh as I spot each of our friends, standing beneath a welcome home banner.
"How did you guys do all of this?" I ask as I bring Melanie into a tight hug.
"I found your spare key in that flowerpot out the front. Broke in, used your over, hung up these cringey decorations I found at Hobby Lobby. Bon Appetit!" Melanie replies. I smile, hugging the rest of my friends before moving on to some of the other guests.
Max's parents are here with his grandma, all of whom I envelope in large, warm hugs.
My own mom isn't here, not that I expected it. We still haven't really spoken since everything at my dad's funeral. She called me a of times when the whole media scandal was happening, with an edge of sarcasm on her tongue. I decided then and there, that I didn't really want her in my life anymore. She would always be my mother, and we both knew that, but I didn't see the point in maintaining our relationship when it was clear she resented me, resented the independent decisions I was able to make. There's days that I'm still upset, and wish to have the relationship with my mother that so many other people are able to have. I wanted a mother who would've called me to go wedding dress shopping, instead of calling to ask how big the ring was.
But right now, it feels like none of that really matters. Because as Max sidles up beside me, placing a hand around my waist, I let my head fall against his shoulder. We look out at the backyard, watching the kids running around and playing games.
Because maybe, for some of us we don't need the whole family thing. Just a small group of friends to share your life with, and your one true love to start a new chapter with.
Just because you aren't of the same blood, that doesn't mean you can't be family.
A/n:
and that's it. i don't even know how to say anything.
this was the last chapter of this book, this series, these characters. I really, truly hope you enjoyed this process, this story as much as I did. as writers, we write for you, but also for ourselves. time and time again, i've used these characters to represent much broader aspects of myself. i've put into them things i'd like to get out of life; love and friendship, and most importantly, belonging. every time i wrote, i attempted to put my everything into these characters, these snapshot moments of time. and it didn't always work. sometimes i hated the words i wrote, hated the way i was portraying these poor characters. but i think the thing i'm most proud of isn't the attention this series has luckily gotten. i'm grateful of that, so so grateful, but it's not the reason i wrote to begin with. i've always written with the objective that i can be proud of my work, that i can look back and go; i've given this all i have, at that very moment. and yes, this may not be the most technically perfect or insane story you've ever read, or that i'll ever write, but at least it's something i tried, and something i can be proud of, that's all that matters.
i'd just like to take a second here to thank EVERYONE who has ever read this book, or this series generally. i don't think you realise the impact you've made on my life. knowing that people are engaging in what i write, and enjoy reading something i've crafted is a wonderful, fulfilling feeling. i hope that, somewhere along the way, i've managed to add a little spark to your day, to pick you up when life had knocked you down. i've never been the best at dictating my thought aurally. i pour my heart into writing because i don't know how else i'd make myself heard. and i can't thank you guys enough for giving me the motivation to keep telling my stories, the stories i began writing in the very late hours of the night in my little writing journal. the pages are scrappy and i never had much of an idea what i was trying to say when i woke up in the morning, but those stories were able to grow here, and evolve into something that i now see as really, really special.
i honestly don't know what else to say. i don't know what my neck book will be on this platform. i'm sure i'll be back, eventually. but i don't know. i'm writing a few other books (not on wattpad) that i hope one day could be published, and made into a book you could see in a bookstore. but even if i'm not writing on here for a little while, i'll still always be here. i'll log on every so often, and pinch myself at any little notifications that may pop up. i don't know, i might write a few little, short novella's about finding love on a holiday or something nice like that. going back to my roots and writing like the little 15 year old i was when i wrote spellbound. writing spellbound was one of the best times in my life. we were still doing online classes because of covid, and every tuesday, i would write a chapter during the schoolday. so if you were one of my teachers then, and if it was a tuesday, i'm sorry but i most definitely wasn't listening to you. oops.
anyway, i need to stop rambling. thank you so, so much, for supporting me along this journey, and reading a little something of mine. you all mean the world to me, even though the chances of meeting any of you in the real world are slim to none. if you ever come back to reread these books, if you ever need a little nostalgia, this series will always be here. it will be here if you need comfort, if you just need something familiar back in your life. if anyone ever needs to chat, wants to ask questions about these books or these characters, my wattpad messages are always open! or just leave a little comment, i love replying to them!!!!!!!
alright, ceilings by my girl lizzy mcalpine is playing and i'm moments from loosing my shit so i need to leave this here. i don't ever want to stop typing this, i could just talk forever. but i promise, if i ever get a book published, you guys will hear about it!!!!!
i love you all forever, my little reading buddies
ems xoxoxo