Charles and I go to shower, as told, before we return to the garden where the guests are helping out in different ways to prepare for the wedding. Arthur and Carla are on table decoration duty. I guess they're going to have to trust that Carla can make enough for all tables, because Arthur really looks to be struggling with his task.
We walk over to Carla and Arthur, assuming we're going to be doing the same thing as them. It has something to do with paper and fake flowers. Carla's decoration looks great, while Charles picks up one of Arthur's and holds it up in front of him.
"Qu'est-ce que c'est?" What is this? he asks.
"Une décoration," A decoration, Arthur mutters as he snatches it back from his brother.
Lorenzo and Charlotte comes up to us as we're about to sit down too
"Nous avons autre chose pour vous deux," We have something else for you two, Lorenzo says.
They take us further away from the long table where everyone else is doing their tasks, and they take us to the side of the house where there is a big wedding arch in the form of a square made out of wood that I knew would be the thing they would be standing under during the ceremony. On the ground are a lot of plastic flowers and such.
"Pourriez-vous attacher les fleurs tout autour?" Could you attach the flowers all around? Charlotte asked, looking between the two of us.
"Oui," Charles replied immediately, and I nodded with a smile.
Charlotte smirked as she put a hand on my shoulder while she walked past me. I looked after them, seeing them exchange a smile as they left us behind, thinking they're slick. Charlotte looked over her shoulder at us, and I grimaced at her, knowing she only did this because she saw us at the tennis court. We're far from everyone else and we have only each other to talk to.
That could be a recipe for disaster.
When I turned back to Charles, he was already picking up some different kinds of plastic flowers and he put them together in a little bouquet. He picked the wire up from the ground and then looked at the wedding arch for a moment. When he turned to me, he looked confused.
Well, I better make this work.
"D'accord, et si tu tenais les fleurs et que je les attache avec le fil?" Okay, how about you hold the flowers and I tie them with the wire? I asked, walking up to him and grabbing the roll of wire from his hands.
"D'accord," he replied and we walked over to the wedding arch.
He held the flowers in place, starting further down so that we could work our way up and around it. I used the wire to wrap it around the stem and then around the arch to attach them. Charles went and got some more flowers and then we did the same thing.
As we're working, we stand quite close and I try my best to ignore it. At first I think we're both trying to find something to talk about, but none of us actually find something worth talking about. It feels so pointless to bring up the first thing we can think about, because it will be so obvious what we're trying to do, and it will just become awkward. So for the first ten minutes we just work in silence, only speaking when it's related to what we're doing.
"Ma mère a appelé," My mom called, Charles says, surprising me by breaking the silence. I look at him as I'm just finishing off attaching the flowers he's holding. He takes a step back as soon as they're secured and he goes to get more. "Elle a posé des questions sur toi," She asked about you.
"Elle l'a fait?" She did? I ask, not sure how else to react. I'm not that surprised about it.
"Eh bien... elle demande toujours de tes nouvelles, mais elle a demandé si nous nous entendions bien," Well...she always asks about you, but she asked if we get along, he replies. I chuckle, and as he walks back up to me he keeps a little smile. "Nous le sommes, n'est-ce pas?" We are, aren't we?
"Oui," I reply, "Pour la plupart," For the most part.
We can't disregard that our attitudes got a little ugly last night, but it could have been so much worse, and today has been great. We have only smiled together, and not a single frown has passed my lips, at least not from his doing.
"Que ça reste ainsi," Let it stay that way, he says as he arranges the order of the flowers. When he finally looks up at me, he's not smiling anymore. "Nous savons tous les deux comment nos parents peuvent être... s'ils nous voient s'entendre, vous savez comment ils s'entendront... mais nous ne devrions pas discuter à cause de cela," We both know how our parents can be...if they see us getting along, you know how they'll get...but we shouldn't argue because of that.
The last few times when we've seen each other around our parents, they've been trying so desperately to "help us" refind the spark between us. They don't see that their constant pushing is just making things awkward for Charles and I, and it usually makes us argue more than when we see each other without our parents.
"Je suis d'accord," I agree, I reply.
"Bien," Good. Charles smiles as I begin attaching the new set of flowers.
Charles and I continue working, now just joking about our parents. We even dared to touch on the subject of us dating. We usually stay away from that topic. But we talked about the irony of my parents always wanting Arthur and I to grow up and get married, at least until they realized how Arthur and I actually are together, and then I ended up dating Charles instead. Unfortunately for them, they still haven't managed to become family.
We get a small ladder for me when it gets too high for me to reach the top of the arch, and I continue wrapping the wire around the wires. Charles and I continue talking, barely realizing that the sun is setting and people are starting to move inside to get dressed and ready for dinner.
It wasn't until we heard a loud bell that we were ripped from our conversation. We looked around until we saw Arthur being pulled back inside from where he had been standing in the window with Lorenzo's damn bell. We see Arthur's head disappear, then we hear the bell hit the ground and definitely more than one person shushing him aggressively.
Charles and I exchange a look, both a bit confused, and then we realize what's going on and that awkward tension is back between us. We see the others being ready for dinner, so Charles helps me down from the ladder and we awkwardly walk back to change in our respective rooms.
As soon as the door closes behind me, and I stand there in my own room, I can't help but feel a little sad. Frustrated at least. We were doing something as friends, and then our friends and family keep wishing and hoping for something that is gone. It makes it awkward for us, and it always kills the mood we have going.
When I've changed, I go out into the backyard again, and I sit down next to Carla by the table. Charles isn't out yet. Lorenzo and Charlotte are sitting on the side of Arthur, and they both lean over.
"L'arco è fantastico, grazie," The arch is fantastic, thank you, she says
"Lo finiremo domani," We'll finish it tomorrow, Lorenzo added, putting an arm around his fiancé.
"Charles ha preparato i fiori, io li ho semplicemente attaccati," Charles prepared the flowers, I simply attached them, I reply with a smile and a small shrug.
"A proposito di... dov'è?" Speaking of... where is he? Arthur asks, looking around for his brother, and then looking at me as if I should know. Usually I'm the one taking longer to get dressed. But I don't know where he is, I guess he's still in his room.
"Tu devrais aller voir," You should go look, Carla said, nudging me.
They clearly think that something is up between us, but there is nothing. They just want it to be, but it's wishful thinking on their parts. I ignore her comment though, choosing not to say anything, or do anything.
"Avez-vous eu une bagarre?" Did you have a fight? Arthur asks silently.
"Non," I reply, following up with a sigh. I hate that it's the first thing he'd assume, but I know there's only Charles and I to blame for that.
Finally, Charles came downstairs and sat down in front of me, next to Arthur, who assessed us both closely before he realized there seemed to be no arguing going on. Charles looked relaxed, and I didn't have that crease between my eyebrows that my parents always point out when they know something is wrong.
Food was served and was passed around the table. We ate and talked like nothing, so I felt how the awkward tension between Charles and I was finally lifting again as we kept talking in a group of other people.
The four of us had been a bit isolated from the other guests, given that we know each other so well, but during dinner we talked a lot to the other guests sitting around us as well. Some were Charlotte's cousins and some were old friends. I watched Charles talk a lot to one of Charlotte's old girl friends who asked a lot about formula 1.
Even when the rest of us stand up to leave our plates and go get sweaters and blankets to prepare for the evening at the beach that they had planned, Charles stayed seated as he kept talking to the girl. It doesn't bother me. At least it shouldn't bother me, and therefore I pretend it doesn't. I've seen him with other girls before, and it doesn't make me nauseous anymore.
But right in front of me? Okay. Maybe my ears felt a little heated as I pretended to be completely unbothered by the way they both giggled while he was sitting right in front of me. I looked at Carla, pretending not to see them.
Then I didn't even bother calling after Charles when the rest of us left with our place. I just walked away, heading for the kitchen. I met him in the door as I was going back to our place to get a sweater. He pretended like nothing had happened, asking me to wait up. I just told him I was just going back to the apartment and he could meet me there.
I did wait for him, but as soon as he had grabbed a hoodie of his own, I walked out the door, not hanging around to make small talk. I'd rather be down at the beach with everyone else.
They had started a bonfire, and passed out crackers, marshmallows and chocolate to make smores over the fire. Some people were playing football in the sand, not bothering about their clothes getting filled with sand. Carla and Arthur were sitting together, close to Lorenzo and Charlotte, so I went over there. Charles followed me at first, but then I heard a light voice start another conversation with him. I had to fight myself to not roll my eyes.
"En veux-tu un?" Do you want one? Lorenzo asked, bringing me out of my annoyance.
"Bien sûr," Sure, I replied, taking the ingredients to make one, then I sat down next to Arthur and Carla while it was heating up.
Charles had sat down next to the girl and they were talking. They talked for a long time, while I distracted myself by talking to Carla, Arthur and literally anyone else around me. I was even invited to join the game of football, so I did join them.
It was fun, I fell in the sand a bunch of times and I just knew I would have to shake my clothes through the window as soon as I got inside, but I still enjoyed it. It was mostly Charlotte's family, and they were all speaking Italian.
We got Carla and Arthur to join, and then the couple joined as well. The teams got bigger and bigger, and I don't want to brag, but I was brilliant at playing in the sand. I even scored a few times. I was on Arthur's team, and he cheered for me as soon as I did something good. Usually he tells me how I suck, but this time he was being nice.
The game died down towards midnight when people started getting too tired to continue. Some people went back up to go to bed. The rest of us stayed. I took a seat in the sand to catch my breath, too tired to walk back to the bonfire. It was darker where I was, which allowed me to see the stars very clearly.
"Cela te dérange?" Does it bother you? Carla asks as she sits down next to me.
"Non," I reply, already knowing that she's talking about Charles and this other girl.
"Mais tu sais déjà de quoi je parle," But you already know what I'm talking about, she says while raising one eyebrow.
"Oui, parce que je reçois souvent cette question," Yes, because I get that question a lot, I reply, still looking up at the stars.
She lets it go and she looks up at the stars as well. To change the subject I point out some shapes in the sky. Mostly I just make shit up, but she laughs and points a few other random shapes out to me, drawing them in the sky.
Arthur called for us a while later, telling us that they're leaving. We looked over and saw him and his brother standing over by the fire, waiting for us. We stand up and we walk over to them and follow them from the beach and up to the apartment. Arthur and Carla are giggling as they walk into their bedroom, so Charles and I exchange a grimace.
"Nous n'avons jamais été aussi dégoûtants, n'est-ce pas?" We've never been so disgusting, have we? Charles asks.
Frankly, I don't like the idea of talking about our relationship anymore. He just spent the whole night, talking and laughing with the same girl, and now he's bringing up a past relationship between us. It just feels weird.
"Oui tu l'étais!" Yes you were! Arthur yells in response through the door.
I just shrug and raise my eyebrows as a response to that and then I walk through my own bedroom door, leaving it open behind me as I just need to get my makeup remover and take it with me to the bathroom. When I turn around after digging through my bag for my toilet bag, I see Charles has followed me into the room.
In his hands is my book of watercolor painted, the pages painted with bright colors from long travels or hot summer days. That's usually when I spend the most time with that book. But now it's in his hands and he's looking through it, not even asking me before he started looking through it.
"Tu as peint ça quand tu étais avec moi," You painted this when you were with me, he says with a smile, turning the book to me, showing me painting I had done of the ocean and a sailboat when we were in Corsica a few years ago. He looks up at me and I nod in response. "Ça me manque un peu... ces vacances," I miss it a little... that one vacation.
"Nous avions mieux," We had better, I lie, adding a chuckle to make it a bit more lighthearted.
"Tu penses?" You think? he asks, sounding a bit surprised.
"Est-ce que ça importe?" Does it matter?
"Nous n'avons pas besoin de prétendre que nous n'avons jamais été ensemble. C'était quatre ans, on ne peut pas ne pas évoquer cette période," We don't need to pretend we were never together. It was four years, we cannot not mention this period, he replies as he puts the book back onto the dresser.
"Je ne dis pas ça, mais je ne comprends tout simplement pas pourquoi mes vacances préférées que nous avons prises en couple comptent," I'm not saying that, but I just don't understand why my favorite vacation we took as a couple counts, I shrug.
"C'était juste une simple question," It was just a simple question.
"Auquel je ne veux pas répondre," Which I don't want to answer.
We're both interrupted by a loud noise, coming from a damn bell. Arthur comes into the room, frantically ringing the bell while looking at us with furrowed brows. We both ask him to stop but the bell is too loud for him to hear us, so Charles snatches it from him.
"Tu m'as dit que tu n'allais pas discuter," You told me you weren't going to argue, he says, looking between us both.
"Nous n'étions pas," We weren't, I reply through my teeth, because that line is getting so worn out and the damn bell pissed me off enough.
"Ce n'étaient pas des tons utilisés dans une conversation amicale," Those were not tones used in friendly conversation, Arthur quickly replies. "Un câlin et tout ira mieux," Hug and it will all be better.
Charles and I exchanged a look, "N'étaient pas-" We're not-
Arthur snatches the bell back and starts ringing the bell frantically again. Charles can't manage to take it from him and Arthur uses his other arm to motion that he won't stop until we've hugged it out like children.
It's in the middle of the night and we're both tired. Charles and I just roll our eyes and we come together to wrap our arms around each other in a hug. I put my chin on his shoulder and I feel so much nostalgia when his arms wrap around me that I have to force the little smile off my face before Arthur sees it.
We let go, Arthur smiles and give us a quick nod before he walks back into the bedroom with the damn bell. Why on earth did he let Arthur get the bell? hasn't he learned anything?
Charles and I just stare at Arthur's bedroom door, and then we exchange a look that results in none of us being able to hold our laughs back. We end up laughing at something that wasn't even that funny, and we're bent over laughing. He really made us hug it out like children.
Laughing, both of us went into respective rooms. I guess we at least managed to not walk away from each other with sour faces.
//
Short chapter because I just moved to France and I have been struggling to find the time to write as I get settled and I just wanted to update. I like it here though, it's nice. It's just a lot to take in a process now in the beginning yk?
If anyone has any tips for homesickness then please lmk, I had some horrible homesickness just a few nights ago, that was rough.