"You threw your arms around my neck.
Back when I deserved it.
And we were happy."
August 7th, 2021.
Charleston, South Carolina.
𓇼 𓇼 𓇼 𓇼 𓇼
Silence flooded through the home, staring at the lettered italic font in the Twilight book that I brought with me inside my black suitcase. Rain trickled down the windows. Lighting struck the gray sky in a huge bolt that widened my eyes and made my heart rush in anticipation for the next one. Sinking into the cream colored cushions of the warm couch while a blue quilted blanket laid on my covered body. Rafe had headed into town with his uncle for a couple of drinks to satisfy the stress that formed on his shoulders now that his little sister was missing in another country ; what the police said was an unknown location but he knew where she would have wanted to go if it was related to the Royal Merchant. My eyes read along the lines of the cream colored pages, following from left to right and daydreaming of what it was like to be Bella living in Forks, Washington. The weather outside was simply beautiful and set the scene for the book that sat in my hands. Immersed the book that was made for daydreamers and hopeless romantics like me.
Flipping through the pages of New Moon within minutes of reading. I realized deep within that my relationships were similar to what Bella had been in. The small predicament that Bella Swan was experiencing with the handsome vampire Edward, and the werewolf Jacob that dated Taylor Swift in real life. The predicament that I was in was between the Kook King, Rafe Cameron and my best friend since third grade, JJ MayBank. It was an unfair comparison to make to the book knowing the ending was Bella ending up with Edward ; but I was unsure of what my ending would be. Parts of me wanted to be in JJ's arms at the end of the day knowing that he was alright. However, the other part of me was desperately in love with Rafe more than I could ever imagine. He was different from JJ in multiple ways. Rafe always had a way of sensing a humor around me, he wasn't afraid to make a joke about something. JJ made jokes around only our friends but quite didn't like making jokes around me in fear that I wouldn't understand. It made me feel stupid in certain aspects knowing that he didn't think I knew enough to laugh at the jokes he made.
On the other hand, Rafe was gentle, polite, loving, sympathetic to my needs, and overall was in love with me as a person. He loved my personality and loved being around me. He cherished his moments with me like it was his last moments on the Earth. JJ was caring, optimistic, smart ass, supportive, and did his best to express how he felt. He was a manipulative person when it came to wanting to get his way but it was in the best interests. He didn't mean to be malicious or to hurt me ; most of the time he didn't know he was hurting me. When I thought of JJ, I believed that he had a piece of me that I would never get back no matter what would happen to us in the future. I hoped that he would see our differences through and continue our friendship despite Rafe taking a dislike to him even though it was the same towards him. I yawned in tiredness before I closed my book after putting the small bookmark, I created by crocheting pieces of blue yarn together, into the flap of the book. Rain trickled down the roof of the house after hitting it with force. Thunder and lighting kept striking in the cloudy and unwelcoming skies.
I leaned over from where I had sunken into the couch, placing the book onto the wooden coffee table. Moving back onto the couch, I turned my back towards the doors that led out into the backyard. I yawned once again as I shuffled myself down underneath the quilted blanket that gave me a sense of comfort to fall asleep in the middle of the afternoon while my boyfriend was out drinking with his uncle. It didn't bother me because I knew that he would control his substances and take his time before he would come home ; enough time to sober up in the best possible manner. I faced the inside of the large couch with the blanket covering my whole body. I closed my eyes and rested my hand underneath my face. The sound of the rain made me fall into a small sleep. Drifting off into the sleep that made me dream of the day that would come when Rafe would propose to me in a beautiful field the way that Edward had done to Bella in the Twilight series.
Laying in the meadow of wildflowers that covered us in the silk forest of South Carolina. Out of the OuterBanks where we could cast our worries into being happy with each other. Away from the ocean would become heartbreaking for me but I started to love the fields that surrounded the large farmhouse in the middle of Charleston. Out of the teenage years that haunted us in the OuterBanks. My hand would hold onto Rafe's hand, my head rested on his chest while we were going to welcome our second child together. Our baby ran around in the large meadow of wildflowers while laughter escaped from her mouth. I dreamt of having a daughter that would run into Rafe's arms and adore him the way that I adored my wonderful father. The daughter would have dirty blonde hair like her father, petite like her mother. Mixed features with the brightest blue and green eyes that anyone could ever lay their eyes upon. Her smile would be like her fathers and have the same dimpled cheeks as mine. Little freckles laying upon her cheeks, her curly hair turned into ringlet curls. Tanned skin from being out in the warm sunshine with the farm animals that were wandering in the fields we owned. My friends would stop by for a couple of weeks at the time, visiting with their non-biological niece and future niece or nephew.
The daydreaming always seemed to creep up on me while I was in a deep slumber. I never wanted anything but to be in love with someone the way that my parents were in love with another. I wanted a small family, just a couple of kids that were as reckless and fun as me. I dreamt of the same things that I had read in the Twilight book that made me realize how much my life was similar to Bella in a sense ; without the Vampires and werewolves. The love triangle was unique and different. It was something that I didn't want to be surrounded in, hoping that JJ would fall out of love with me within the days of us being apart. Despite the fact that love was hard to break once you were in love. The unknowing of where they had been made memories rush to my head as I slept with comfort after staying up almost all night long.
Memories of high school appeared in my dreams. It replayed in my mind multiple times, the small details of moments that made my heart beat in a faster paced manner. The times that my friends and I had done foolish things that didn't make any sense at the time. We would stay out in the late summer sun, swimming in the ocean and surfing till the sun would set on the horizon. JJ and I would get on top of the long board that my father purchased back in his early surfing days. We would try to ride the wave together in order to break the record in OuterBanks. We would smack our faces on the board when a wave would rush underneath the board, or we would dive head first into the blue ocean. He was my best friend that I had done every single thing with from the moment I met him in third grade. We shared everything from toys to surfboards and even our first kiss together. He was my first kiss in the 9th grade. The evening was warm. A summer day, July 1st in the year of 2019. I was just about to turn sixteen years old. He was a little bit younger than me by a couple of months.
We sat in our bathing suits in the crunchy sand beneath us. We had finished our surfing session for the day, ready to walk back to my house that was on the beachfront. Sand stuck to our wet bodies as we exploded in laughter together. The sun sat on the horizon. Yellow, orange, and pink colors mixed in the sky and reflected on top of the ocean. I laid my head on his shoulder. The feelings between us were mutual up until my sophomore year when he stated that he would never be attracted to me. We were waiting for another month until school would close down our outside life that pertained around surfing and the beach. His young face stared at the sunset in front of us. His blue eyes dazzled in the light, his tanned skin reflected the sunshine. I didn't know that the summer before my junior year, JJ would turn out hating me in the worst way possible that would lead to us avoiding another despite him living in my old home half of the year. I didn't believe that my heart would be shattered in one knowing that he would later be hooking up with my friend. The summertime was something that I didn't look forward to once my junior year came around, I distanced myself from him for a while until Kiara and him broke up. JJ laid his hand across my thigh, running his soft fingers across my skin even though we didn't share our feelings towards another.
Once the moon started to peer out over the water, he turned to me with a small grin forming on his face. "You're beautiful, Isla." He spoke aloud with the same immature grin forming across his tanned face. I shook my head at him in embarrassment that he had complimented me, knowing how big of a crush I had on him. He knew that I had feelings for him but was too shy himself to admit anything about me. "You don't mean that." I told him with a small laughter coming out of my mouth. He nodded his head at me until we caught ourselves staring into another's eyes. Silence formed around us except for the sound of the crashing waves that hit onto the white sand. The only ones on the beach made it much more romantic at that moment. I had prayed in my small soul that he would tell me how he felt about me ; becoming giddy just staring at JJ. He placed his hand on my upper thigh while his other hand reached for my cheek. He sat his hand against my cheek, rubbing grains of sand onto the tanned face. He moved himself closer into me with his eyes closing like he was going to make a move. I closed my eyes with him ; scared that I was going to embarrass myself because I didn't know how to kiss anyone but he didn't either.
He pressed his soft lips against mine. Yellow sparks flew out of my body at the feeling of kissing him during that moment. It was another experience that I didn't know would ever happen to me. We kissed another for the first time, even though it was a long time coming. Passion sparked between the both of us while the sunset shined across our bodies as it kept heading down underneath the horizon. Minutes had passed from kissing, we had pulled away with a smile forming across both of our faces. It felt unreal in that exact moment. "I meant that." He told me with the small grin still on his face as his face heated up in a blush color. I didn't think that the day would come when I would be so in love with someone and then my heart would shatter in the process afterwards. It was painful to know that he stated he didn't have any emotions or feelings towards me. It was the worst thing that had happened to me. The night that JJ had rejected me, I went home and sunk myself into the bed that we would share during sleepovers. I cried myself to sleep thinking that I was the most undesirable girl that could ever walk planet Earth ; until Rafe came around and patched the holes that were left in my heart from the small issues I had with JJ during my incoming junior year.
Rafe healed the wounds that caused me to stumble in pain. He knew how much I needed him but he had needed me in the same way. Broken people came together to fix one another, healing each other in a gentleness. Rafe brought out things in me that I didn't think I would ever have come out after the past experiences that I had faced with someone that I believed was in love with me just as much as I was with him. The idea of being in love has always suited me throughout my life. Seeing the way that I had romanticized my surroundings more than I had actually gone out and dated. Growing up, the only crush I ever had was JJ which was one of the reasons why I allowed him to manipulate me as many times as he could. Part of my problem was allowing him to manipulate me because it felt good in an instance as him wanting to be with me just to get his "rocks off" as many would state. He knew that he was able to get under my skin in any way that he wanted because I would fall for the games he placed me in. Always causing me to feel a distraught feeling, but with Rafe I had never fallen into the emotional trap. Rafe made me realize what it is like for a man to protect and love me as a person. He was obsessed with me in the most sweet way a man could ever be. He was in love with me and wasn't doing anything just to get around with other girls. He had fallen in love with me.
Unlike JJ.
3:30 pm.
The rain had clustered in a large cloud outside of the house. Ready to start pouring once again for the rest of the evening and throughout the night. The sound of the front door opening echoed through the cozy feeling of home, I yawned in tiredness from the immense feeling of anxiety that weighed on my heart thinking about my friend. The front door closed, footsteps lost themselves on the wooden panel floors of the warm home. The house smelt like fresh rain mixed with vanilla, a vanilla candle in fact that made it smell like Christmas time. A tall figure peered through the dim light living room. Rafe's hair soaked with the rough rain from the outside, his body standing in between the living room and dining room. He took off the flannel that sat over his gray crewneck underneath. His blonde hair sat against his forehead. He narrowed his eyebrows in the direction of me, a small smile forming across his nonchalant expression. He started to walk towards me with the gray crewneck sitting on his muscular body in a sexy look.
He had worn a pair of black dickies that were rolled at the bottom. He had a pair of dirty white converse on his feet; the sneakers squealed against the floor. He stared at me with gentleness and started to walk towards me with the same smile on his tanned face. As he made his way into the living room, he sat down on the edge of the couch where I had been. He bent down to kiss my forehead. The scent of alcohol reeked from his presence after being in a bar with his uncle. His lips pressed against my forehead in a gentle mannerism, his hand grasping for my cheek. Fluttering my eyelashes, I looked up at him with a smile forming across my face. "You're back already?" I asked him. He nodded his head as his eyes were dilated from the alcohol in his system. "I didn't want to leave you too long." He said with a raspy tone in his voice while he looked down at his other hand that sat on my small bump. The hand was wrapped with the gauze and tape to cover his cut, keeping it clean. I narrowed my eyebrows at him and tried to awaken myself more to see him clearly. His blue eyes stared deep into mine. Admiring me from the sight of seeing me in a tiredness faze across my face. "Came back to take care of my girl. I had a beer and that was about it." He spoke once again with a gentleness staying in his raspy voice. I pushed myself upright on the edge of the couch. Yawning, I nodded my head at him.
He looked over at the coffee table where I had left the twilight book on. He narrowed his eyebrows. "What is this?" He asked as he laughed gently. I shook my head at him and smiled. "Just a book I'm reading right now." I responded to him. He raised one eyebrow and took the book inside of his hands. He turned the book to the page that a bookmark sat on. He became quiet almost like he was infatuated with what I was reading much earlier in the gloomy afternoon. "This book is like a horny teenager's dream." He laughed and shook his head. I threw my head back in laughter at his comment, hitting his shoulder with my hand. "What the fuck are you reading?" He laughed once again. I rolled my eyes and grasped the book out of his hands. "It's just a romance novel. You've never seen the movies?" I asked him. I sat the novel in my lap with the pages facing another again. He shook his head. "It's just vampires and werewolves is it not?" He asked me. I nodded my head at him, grasping onto his muscular arm. He laid himself back onto my chest and laughter erupted from his laugh. The tipsy feeling surrounded him in his muscular body. "Let's watch it tonight, not going anywhere are we?" I asked him with a dimpled smile forming across my face.
Rafe lifted himself away from laying his back on me. His pupils grew at the sight of me, he smiled at the dimpled smile I had. "Not with this weather so sure. Want me to cook or what are you feeling for dinner?" He asked and laid his large hand upon the small bump that was growing in my stomach. "Any cravings?" He asked once again before I could even think about what he had asked beforehand. I narrowed my eyebrows at him, thinking about the pregnancy cravings that started to form within my growing body. "I've been craving Chinese food?" I told him in response and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. He smiled and nodded his head at me. "I'll order take out." He said, leaning over to kiss me with gentleness upon my mouth. I smiled into the kiss and felt my body melt in the feeling of just his presence and touch. "Thank you, my love." I responded and sunk myself back down into the couch as he stood up from the couch to head into the bedroom. He wanted to become comfortable and take his shoes off before he would order dinner for the both of us to enjoy in the gloomy evening.
I yawned once again and turned my body on the side to become comfortable. I stared at the water trickle down from the panels that sat on the architecture on the outside. Sounds came out from the bedroom as my boyfriend had been undressing to slump around with his pregnant girlfriend. I had sat my phone in my hand, scrolling through social media in hopes that my friends would be posting something. Instead, I had seen an old post of JJ and I that he had on his Instagram account. I sat on his shoulders on a warm summer evening from last May. He carried me on his shoulders at a bonfire that was on the beach that the Pogues had claimed. That exact night, I had gone home with an emotion rushing over my body knowing that I was in love with him. Those feelings came back to me at the sight of a sweet photo that brought back the memories. I shook my head, scrolling past the photo that gave me those feelings of horror knowing that my friends were still missing. In a plane that they didn't know how to drive, unsure of how they even got into the predicament that they were in. I didn't understand why they never stopped after the trauma that all of us went through.
Being held at gunpoint messed with my mind in a way that I was unable to express. Seeing my best friend being shot, his body bleeding out while my boyfriend is trying to stop his bleeding was a form of trauma for me. Something that I didn't think I could recover from and I didn't understand why my friends would keep pushing towards the danger that they had already faced. I felt like they didn't even think about the pain they could cause to everyone else if they were in serious danger or even worse — dead. I wouldn't be able to recover from the idea of my friends being dead. I wouldn't be able to focus, able to live or eat without them. Unable to do the things that I love most without them. It distraught my mind knowing that there was a possibility that I wouldn't see my best friends again. I knew that at the end of the day, I needed to do what was best for me, which was separating myself from my friends' plans to put themselves in danger but it broke my heart. I wish they would just be their normal teenage selves. Have fun, go to school, go surfing on the weekends. It wasn't fun anymore. It wasn't fun anymore knowing that they were in danger.
I scrolled through Instagram and ignored the feelings of fear. Rafe shuffled his feet onto the floor, heading out into the living room with his phone in his hands as he was searching for the takeout number at a local Chinese cuisine restaurant. "What are you doing baby?" He asked and looked up from his phone. The light reflected onto his face as he walked back over to sit next to me on the couch. He lifted my legs up and sat down on the couch, letting my legs drape over his muscular thighs. I glanced at him, trying to remove the feelings of anxiousness from my bloodstream. "Just on my phone." I gave him a reassuring smile as I had turned my phone off and sat it on my chest to look at Rafe. Something in me was resentful at the thought of JJ, but part of me missed him when it came to him being my best friend. I adored JJ in all the ways that you could have imagined. He was a simple person to get along with. He was funny and charismatic when he wanted to be. He was smart to an extent, making dumb decisions was kind of JJ's thing growing up. He would always know how to make me smile in ways that I didn't think anyone could make me feel until I met Rafe. I felt like I was simply comparing the both of them together when they weren't anywhere close to being the same. JJ was his own person and so was Rafe.
"How are you feeling? Do you think they're alright?" I asked Rafe, questioning him about his little sister that he had been worried about. He knew that there was no way of getting to them. He sighed gently as he looked up from his phone at me. "I'm alright." He responded and laid a hand against the small bump on my stomach. He rubbed a circle with his thumb across the growing bump that looked more like I was bloated after eating. "Sarah knows how to hold one for herself, I just hope that nothing happens to them." He responded once again as he looked me in the eyes. His blue eyes glowed in the dim light. His pupils grew while staring at me with innocence forming across his face. "Don't work yourself up over this baby. They'll be all good." He spoke to me as he saw my eyes gleam over in the same fear as earlier. I nodded my head at him. I sat myself up with my back against the arm of the cozy couch. The blanket covered the lower half of my body. He kept his hand pressed against my stomach. He had looked back down at his phone, ordering dinner for the both of us on a Mobile food app. "I know, it's just hard not too because I don't want them to be involved in any of this." I told him as I moved strands of hair out of my face. I kept my eyes on him, watching his small movements.
He narrowed his eyebrows in concentration while he listened to me. He kept his eyes on his phone to make our order, but he had paid attention to what I was saying. "I know, my love. You have no control over what they do though. Don't stress, they'll be all good. Be optimistic." He responded to me and glanced up at me. I nodded my head at him and felt a sense of fear leave my body at that moment. He rubbed his thumb in circles across my stomach. I grasped the remote in my hand from the coffee table, turning my head in the direction of the large television that sat above the fireplace. I scrolled through the channels, searching for the first twilight movie in order to start watching it with him. The house flooded with the noise of water hitting the roof in a thump. "Ordered." He said with a smile forming across his face. I nodded my head at him and kept searching through the television to find the movie. My eyes focused on the television as I found the movie, turning to glance at my boyfriend who stared at the television too. "You weren't kidding about this." He laughed as he turned his head to look at me. Forming a small dimpled smile across my face, I stared at him with a gentle look.
"You'll love it." I responded to him.
He nodded his head, his bright eyes making me feel a sense of peace knowing that he was there to be with me through everything.
He leaned himself and laid his head against my stomach. Hearing my heartbeat that ran through the beginning baby heartbeat.
5:00 pm.
The scent of the rich Chinese food flooded through the house while rain poured down outside. We had watched the Twilight movie in comfort, Rafe laughing and snickering at the movie that made him cringe. He recited lines that made him cringe, telling me how dumb the movie was but he would watch it because it made me happy.
A rang came from the doorbell, making the both of us narrow our eyebrows in confusion of who could be at the house during the downpour. I paused the movie and stood up beside Rafe. "I'll go get the door baby, just rest." He told me as he started to walk out of the living room and into the hallway that led down into the front room. His feet tapped on the floor, I followed behind him quietly. He opened the door. The house echoed the downpour from outside that hadn't stopped pouring. A man stood at the door with a large hat on his head, covered in clothing that looked humbling. A pair of black jeans and a large long sleeve on. He had a cane that was made from a wooden stick, carved and placed together in a beautiful manner. Rafe leaned himself up against the door and turned back to me with a confused look on his face. The man looked up, his face covered in scruff from a pepper looking beard. His blue eyes matched Rafe's as he looked at us with pure disbelief. Rafe turned to the man again as he looked down back at his cane. "Can I help you sir?" He asked in confusion. The man nodded his head.
"Son?" The man spoke out of his mouth.
He looked up and scooted forward towards the door to get out from under the rain. He lifted his hand up to his hat, moving the hat off his head. The man revealed himself to Rafe. I stared at the door to see him. A small gasp expressed itself from my mouth.
It was the dead man ; Ward Cameron.