Iʋσɾყ
Mαყ 2ɳԃ
Qυҽҽɳʂ, NY
I stirred slowly out of my sleep, my eyes struggling to flutter open, as they still felt a little heavy. I placed my hands over my lids and rubbed them for a few seconds to adjust to the light. My head was pounding, yet my body as a whole felt extremely tranquil. It was weird.
As I blinked a few times, I finally got my eyes to open and found myself to be in an extremely unfamiliar bedroom, bathed in soft morning light. The room was sparsely decorated, and the scent of fresh linen hung in the air. I looked around, noticing a reflection above me and saw there was a mirror placed up on the ceiling. Confusion crept in as I tried to piece together what exactly that was for.
Weird.
Suddenly, the distant sound of raised voices reached my ears. Muffled by the walls of the house, the yelling seemed to come from somewhere within. The voices, one belonging to what sounded like Xaier, and the other sounded like it belonged to a woman, they both clashed with intensity and it made me become a little frightened.
Yet thinking about Xaier, all the memories from last night finally crept into my mind, and I gasped once I realized exactly what happened. I shot him.
Standing up abruptly from the bed, I stumbled a little, looking around the room to see my dress folded neatly with my purse and phone sat on top of it. And my heels right next to that little pile. I picked up my phone to see it was fully charged and checked my notifications.
Multiple missed calls from Jayce, my mom, Ivanna, and Nayeli. Multiple texts from each of them asking me where I was. I felt bad for making them worry, but I also didn't want to really communicate with any of them. Except Nayeli maybe, she was the only one I felt that wouldn't judge me. My finger hovered over her contact name to call her back, but I jumped when I heard a voice yelling again.
My head snapped up and my instincts urged me to investigate the source of the commotion. I only hoped that he wasn't in any grave danger because I wasn't protecting him from shit.
After mistaking both the closet and the bathroom doors for the exit, I finally approached the right door and the yelling became louder. Except this time I couldn't hear Xaier yelling back, just the woman's voice. Stepping out onto a wooden floor, I creeped out of the bedroom and poked my head behind a corner which I could assume led to the living room, but it wasn't, it was just a hallway.
"X?" I called out, slowly walking down this seemingly endless hallway, until I got to the end where I could clearly see the living room from behind the corner, and X sitting there on his couch playing the Playstation while a girl stood over him.
"I can't believe you! After all we've been through?! I mean I know you do this shit on a regular but to bring a girl here to your own home? And then let her stay the night?! You don't even let me stay the night!" the girl shouted at him, attempting to get in his face, but he constantly mushed her back, not taking his eyes off the game in front of him. It was then that I knew exactly what this was.
He had a girlfriend.
My face immediately morphed into a deep frown, realizing this information, for some reason it made me feel... disappointed? Yet I didn't understand why. He was free to have a girlfriend, sure, but still.
"Kesha she a fuckin' friend, why you even here this early anyway?" he sucked his teeth, side eyeing her as she tapped her foot and rolled her neck.
"Because my psychic called me and said that the love of my life would meet someone else and she was right." she retorted, but X just shook his head.
"You really crazy as fuck man."
"Whatever. Get her ass out of here right now X." the woman, who I now know as Kesha, said. I jerked my head back a little at the hostility of her tone, it was obvious she didn't like me, for reasons I could understand, but sheesh. I didn't even know he had a girlfriend.
Xaier chuckled to himself, licking over his lips, making my eyes linger on them a little longer than they should've. "You don't run shit, she's exhausted, she had a long night so lower yo damn voice and stop ordering me around like you run some shit cause you don't." he asserted with an excruciating amount of dominance.
His tone was calm, yet the delivery was somewhat harsh, it would've made me shrink down. And it certainly did make Kesha shrink as her shoulders dropped, and her glare turned into a slightly somber look once she realized she wasn't going to get through to him because she had no control over this situation. I know what that's like. And in a sense it made me feel bad for her, I knew exactly what she was going through right now.
"Why do you do this to me?" she asked softly, the first time I heard her voice where she wasn't yelling to the top of her lungs. Dropping her head, she plopped down on the sofa, a small distance away from him while cradling her head with her hand.
"You make assumptions in your head and run with them Kesha and that's yo problem, stop it." Xaier said back, still not sparing her a glance.
"I'm sorry." she apologized, but it only made him scoff, and I frowned seeing how rude he was being to her. She said she was sorry, and if anything he was technically in the wrong here in my opinion.
"Yeah I bet you are." he muttered.
Kesha groaned and stomped her feet multiple times, before bringing her hands down to her knees. "I ammm! You just frustrate me so much because I never know what this is, and when I hear or see you with other girls I can't help but feel like I'm being replaced by them. We've been together for years and..." she trailed her sentence off and sighed deeply right after, it was then that Xaier finally glanced over at her.
Lightly shaking his head, he paused his game and wrapped his arms around her body, sliding her over so that she was now seated in his lap. He reached from behind her and grabbed one of her hands, kissing her sweetly on her lips. "Nobody replacing you Kesha, so get them thoughts out yo head. Regardless of who it is or what we do, you always gone be the one I come back to. Relax." he said to her, and I could practically see her melt in his arms.
"Okay," she smiled, turning to fully face him. "I'm sorry." she then apologized, a few words were said between them after that, and then she grabbed his face and began kissing him.
And as I observed this, it was like a rush of emotions started to overwhelmed me. The sight of Xaier kissing Kesha, and his intimate words of what seemed to be, love, caused a profound sadness to envelop me, leaving me feeling inexplicably jealous and conflicted. I didn't understand what was going on, why the fuck was I feeling this way?
I'm a married woman who only had an encounter with this man a few times, yet, witnessing his affection for Kesha ignited something that inside of me that I couldn't quite comprehend.
It was a complex mix of longing, regret, and a sense of loss. It was like my heart ached with the realization that I had never experienced such passion and devotion from my own husband, Jayce. I was trapped in a marriage that lacked that emotional connection I craved. And only just began to find that connection the few times that I've been with Xaier. Specifically, last night.
The regard he had for my feelings when finding out I was sad, the effort he made to cheer me up, the many compliments that spewed out of his mouth that flattered me. All of that was what I wanted from my husband, that chemistry, and yet I saw it in another man.
But this man was taken, and I refused to be the woman who was the cause of breaking up something like this, it was clear that him and Kesha had a special bond. One that I needed to find and share with my own significant other instead of running away from my problems, going to be with other men in the middle of night.
I was the worst wife ever.
But I would fix that, by going home, facing my consequences, and staying devoted to the one man that I truly loved. No matter what he did to me today, I deserve it, it was my fault. Here I was accusing him of so many things, yet I was guilty myself for many reasons right now. I shouldn't have been doing this, I should be under my own man at our home and taking care of it.
Turning around, I made my way back into the bedroom, picking up my phone again in order to call Nayeli to come get me. I knew if I called anyone else, they'd have a million questions for me, Nayeli would too, but she had a little more compassion. She wasn't the type to pressure me into answering said questions, she would wait until I was ready, and give me enough time to explain without overreacting about every little thing. She was so patient and I loved that.
"Hello?" Nayeli answered, her voice slightly raspy indicating she probably had just waken up, but she answered quickly, almost as if she was waiting for me to call.
"Nayeli can you come get me?" I asked, gathering up my clothes in my arms and holding them to my chest while I sat on the extremely comfortable bed.
I heard her yawn and a lot of movement, indicating she had gotten up. "Of course I can. Where are you?" she asked.
"X's house. Do you need my location?" I asked.
"Yeah, share it with me, I'm on my way." she said, and hung up the phone. I heeded her instructions, immediately sharing my location with her, hoping that she was close because I didn't know how long I could stay here. Part of me just wanted to hide in this bedroom until the coast was clear, not wanting to speak to either of them.
It was clear Kesha didn't like me, and I didn't blame her. Her boyfriend had been doing a lot with me as far as flirting goes, I wouldn't like me either if I was in her position. What grinded my gears about X is the fact that he didn't even have the decency to tell me that he was in a relationship. The amount of flirting he did with me on a daily basis did not show that. Yet here he was, angering his girlfriend because he decided to have another girl in his bed.
Lord only knows what else she knew. Yet, a part of me was still a little concerned about his injury too though, and I really wanted to go and ask him about it, to even see if I could try and treat it if that hadn't already been done. But I'm afraid that might be crossing a boundary with his girlfriend here. I didn't want to make her any more mad than what she already was.
Groaning lightly, I stood up from the bed and slouched my shoulders, unfortunately I had to leave anyway and cross the both of them if I wanted to get out of here. Might as well face the music.
I looked at my phone to view Nayeli's location and saw that she was getting closer, doing a mental cheer in my head. I made sure all my clothes and my shoes were balanced in my arms before I stepped out of the bedroom once again and traveled down the long hallway, until I made it to the point that led to the living room. Except this time, I didn't stop, I kept going, entering the living room slowly and watching as they both turned their attention to me.
Kesha was still seated in Xaier's lap, her head laying on his shoulder and her legs were curled as he played the game still. But upon seeing me, he paused it, and tapped Kesha to make her get up. She mugged him, but rolled off of him anyway as he stood to his full height and approached me.
"What's up Ivy?" he greeted, wrapping an arm around me he embraced me into a hug, I on the other hand, kept my hands to myself. I couldn't see Kesha behind his body but I knew she was glaring daggers at me right about now. "Ivy this Kesha, Kesha, Ivy." he introduced, pulling away, he kept his arm around my shoulders and indicated to the both of us as he said our names.
I held a hand up and waved with a tight smile. "Nice to meet you." I said genuinely, trying to show her I wasn't here to fight with her, but clearly she was here to fight with me.
"I bet it is." she sneered at first, but X gave her a look, and she completely straightened out, putting on a tight smile. "I mean... nice to meet you too." she fixed her answer and gave me a smile I could tell was fake.
Xaier scoffed at her then looked back over at me. Using his fingers, he lifted my chin so I'd look him in the eye. I fidgeted a little, hoping I wasn't blushing right now. What the hell was he doing with Kesha literally standing right in our face? "You aight? Still high?" he asked me.
I cleared my throat nervously, pulling my head away from him and taking a respectful step back. "Maybe a little but I'll be fine, how's your arm?" I asked, looking at the arm I recall shooting last night, it was covered with his hoodie sleeve, so I couldn't see much. Or if it was treated, but I'm assuming it was because that was the arm he just had wrapped around me.
"It's good, nothing I ain't been through before, but I ain't never handing you a gun again." he chuckled, making me laugh too until our laughter was interrupted by... you guessed it.
"You shot my boyfriend?!" Kesha shouted, approaching us closer.
I shook my head a little, "It was an accident, and I'm really sorry for that by the way Xaier, I was out of my mind and I've never held a gun before in my life I don't even know why you trusted-"
"Chill out, you good." he interrupted me. Bending down, he placed a kiss on my forehead, and I almost passed the fuck out. In front of his girlfriend? What's wrong with this man? Does he have some kind of a death wish? Does he wanna get me killed with him?
"X!" Kesha scolded, walking up to us she roughly pushed him away from me.
"What?" he asked like he didn't do anything.
I sighed harshly, feeling my phone vibrate, indicating Nayeli was calling because she was probably outside. I needed to get there too. "Xaier just– stop please. Um, I'm really sorry about last night and I'm sorry to the both of you if I overstepped any boundaries, I never meant any harm to your relationship. I'm actually married, and I shouldn't even be here. But I can assure you there's nothing going on. I'll be out of you guys' way from now on. It was nice to meet the both of you." I said my farewell to them.
Turning around, I headed to the front door, I could hear them whisper arguing behind me, but ignored it as I set on my mission to get outside.
But before I could make it, God I was so close to leaving all this behind. Yet I was stopped by Xaier who jogged over to me and grabbed me by my forearm. I held myself back from groaning as I turned in order to face him while he glared at me.
"What the fuck was that auntie?" he asked.
"What?" I frowned.
"You givin' whole speeches out saying goodbye like you ain't never gone see me again or something. Fuck is wrong with you?" he fumed silently, I could tell he didn't want Kesha hearing what he had to say, wherever she was, I honestly figured she would be following behind him this entire time.
I shrugged my shoulders, averting my gaze to my fuzzy socks that I assume came from Xaier. "Well... I think it's for the best." I mumbled, barely above a little whisper, but I'm sure he could hear it still.
"Ivory don't piss me off." he chuckled unamused.
"Look, I appreciate everything you did last night, but I definitely overstepped. We both did in a way, but mostly me, I shouldn't have been with you in the first place, it's wrong. I- I'm married and I'm not even acting like a good wife. I'm also finding myself becoming attracted to you way too quick. It needs to stop now." I explained.
X took a step back, squinting his eyes at me, "And your husband is a good husband? You came to me cryin' yo damn eyes out about him not liking the way you look and him cheatin' on you and shit yet you worried about how you're not a good spouse cause you took one night out to have fun? You got yo priorites fucked up Ivy. That marriage clearly ain't shit and you keep trying to act like it is."
I tightened my grip around my phone and pointed a finger directly at his chest, the fact that he was talking like he knew anything about me and Jayce's relationship ran me hot.
"You don't know shit about my marriage X." I asserted.
"I know he be verbally abusing and cheatin' on yo stupid ass, and Lord only knows what else he does yet look at you. Running back ready to go apologize to him huh?" he stared into my eyes and I felt myself shy away, I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. Of course I was going to apologize to him, but I didn't want X to know that. Yet, my silence had already given away my answer. "You can't possibly be this damn stupid." he then added.
My heart sank like a heavy stone in my chest as Xaier's accusation hung in the air. "Stupid." The word echoed in my mind over and over, cutting deeper than I could have imagined. Anger simmered just below the surface, a defensive reaction to his judgment was brewing. I wanted to lash out, to tell him that he couldn't possibly understand the complexities of my situation. But instead, I felt my throat tighten, my words trapped by a swirling mix of emotions.
Xaier's harsh assessment had awakened a torrent of doubts I had been trying to suppress. Was I making the right choice? Should I have followed my heart and stayed with him instead? I truly have no clue what to do. Jayce, this marriage was all I'd known. And if I didn't go back, everything would be ruined. Everything wouldn't be perfect.
I had to swallow my pride, my mother taught me so much better than this. This, who I was at this time, wasn't the woman she raised me to be. "Goodbye Xaier." I whispered, putting my head down so I wouldn't have to look at him as I walked away even though I could still feel his stare.
All the way out the door I felt it, as if his body was following me along with his eyes, but I knew he wasn't. Hopefully in the long run, he would start to understand where I was coming from and there was no bad blood between us. Regardless of everything, X seemed like a good man with anger issues, and I didn't want him to hate me. I just needed him to understand...
"Hey baby." Nayeli greeted, looking over at me as I climbed inside of her all pink Rolls Royce. Placing my belongings down in my lap, I closed the door behind me before letting out a short breath.
"Hi." I breathed out, resting my head back against the seat.
Nayeli observed me, but drove off from the home anyway, deciding to ask questions once we got out of the front of his house. "You okay?" she asked, continuously taking glances over at me.
"I'm fine. Thank you for picking me up.. just take me straight home and I'll be fine." I instructed, because knowing Nayeli, she was probably going to have us both go to her house, drink wine, and allow me to vent for as long as I wanted to. In all honesty it didn't sound that bad, but I really was determined to go work things out with Jayce now rather than later.
"I will but just tell me what's going on. We don't keep secrets, you know that." Nayeli asserted. I had no choice but to nod my head at her words, she was right, we always made sure we didn't keep secrets. And me on my end had kept so many from her already, I may as well let her know what happened last night at least.
｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ
Mαɳԋαƚƚαɳ, NY
As expected, I wasn't spared once returning home.
Before I could even fully step inside the door, I was already being dragged by my hair into the house by my oh so loving husband. He yanked me around like a rag doll, before delivering blow after blow to my body until I was curled up on the ground in a ball, protecting myself from him, begging and pleading for him to stop, and repeating over and over that I was sorry.
Unfortunately though, that didn't matter to him, it didn't stop there, it never did. He decided to take it even a step further and kick me repeatedly in the stomach, causing me to cough up a mouthful of blood that painted our marble floors. All before he choked me up, lifting my body slightly and assaulting my face right afterwards while I tried my best to block every hit. But it was like the more I did that, the harder he hit me.
My entire body was filled with bruises that had yet to form, my face ached, my lip bleeding and small scars on my forehead. I felt myself become short of breath every once in awhile, it was like those kicks knocked the wind out of me, which I'm sure was his goal.
I laid there silently on the floor, looking at my own pile of coughed up blood as I thought to myself, how much I deserved this. It was my fault. I wasn't being a good wife and in return it caused him to lash out at me. And we were doing so damn good until I ruined it for the both of us. Now we were back at square one and had to figure out how to move forward from now on.
Jayce kneeled down in front of me, a towel in his hand as he watched me with solemn blue eyes. I knew he regretted what he did, it was okay. I made him angry, which I shouldn't have did. "I'm so fuckin' sorry Ivy but you just made me so-."
"It's okay," I interrupted hoarsely, barely being able to find my own voice. I closed my eyes as he pressed the cold towel against my face and wiped some of the fresh blood off, flinching a bit. "I deserved it. I'm sorry for embarrassing you and then leaving you, I- I haven't been a good wife but I'm willing to start being one. You and my mom taught me so much better than this, I'm not sure what's wrong with me." I teared up, for what? The hundredth time now.
"Good." he said, bending down, he kissed my forehead and grabbed my forearm to lift me up from the floor. "I can clean up your mistakes so don't worry, no one knows what happened and she's not pressing charges. Just don't let this happen again Ivory." he told me, staring deep into my eyes.
I nodded my head, swallowing nervously, "Okay. I won't. Th- thank you." I stuttered, wrapping my arms around myself. Trying to ignore the fact that I felt like my bones and muscles were going to fall the fuck off at this point.
"I've been thinking." he started, brushing my hair out of my face as he stared lovingly at me.
"About?" I questioned.
Jayce stopped for a moment and observed me first before smiling, I wanted nothing more than to hide from him. I know I looked terrible right now, not the right way to be presenting myself in front of him. But I couldn't move, and I was honestly afraid that if I did, it would've annoyed Jayce so I stayed put.
"Moving." he answered, and my eyebrows instantly pushed themselves together in confusion.
Moving? This is where all our friends and family lived, we had been in New York our entire marriage.
"What? Moving, why? Where?" I asked.
Jayce took a deep breath, "I have an opportunity from someone that I know down in California to help me expand my legal practice in a new market. Not only that, I'm looking to partner together in many other businesses down there and invest. Plus, I think it'll be a fresh start for both you and I, and hopefully we can escape the messiness that is New York. What with all that happened at the gala last night." he shook his head at his last sentence, but the rest, he was really serious about.
But there was just no way, I couldn't leave my family behind for California or my— "What about my job?" I asked curiously.
My question only made him scoff and huff in annoyance, pointing a finger over to the direction of the kitchen and another finger elsewhere. "Your job is in the kitchen and the bedroom and that always has been. Now I know I've allowed you to go to work and do all that nursing shit here for as long as you wanted but now I feel like I have to put my foot down.
Especially since whenever you're there it takes up too much time and you're never here to clean up and dinner's never on the table by the time I get home, not to mention the 'i'm too tired' excuse in the bedroom. I mean it has to stop sometime Ivy. That job is probably the reason why you keep acting out anyway." he ranted, throwing his hands every which way to indicate how frustrated he was.
Yet he was the one frustrating me. From the get-go, Jayce always told me that he didn't want me to work and he wanted me in the house simply waiting on him hand and foot whenever he was finished handling his business. But I made it clear that I also wanted to do something for myself in the meantime, I loved Jayce, but I didn't want to live solely off of his money, I wanted to make my own and explore different careers.
"But I've already told you that I don't want to just be a housewife, I want to do things and-"
"Being a nurse wasn't even your dream Ivory! That's something your father conditioned into your head in the first place. Hm? Remember telling me that?" he asked with a small smirk, because he knew he'd gotten to me.
He was right. Being a nurse wasn't my dream, it never has been, no matter how much I liked it. But my father shot so hard for me to get a solid education and a good career in order to support myself. I didn't spend a lot of time with him, but when I did, he taught me to always have my own no matter what. And the career route he wanted me to go in, was medicine. Although, I leaned more towards art.
I loved creating art, I loved drawing and painting, in fact, every painting in this home was done exactly by me. I had a true gift. But my dad always taught me to have a more serious career path at hand, because selling art wasn't a guaranteed way to make any money, but this was. And I trusted him, so I went along and did nursing, earning multiple degrees and certifications that built me into the nurse I was today.
Yet now, at this moment, Jayce telling me to quit my job, it seemed like all that hard work was just for nothing. Just for my husband to tell me to quit so I can sit at home and cook and clean for him... I was conflicted. I hated that part, but the part about us having a fresh start made me wonder.
It was just what we needed, something new, something fresh in order to rejuvenate our lives and our marriage. Maybe this move would be good for us, but stil, I felt uneasy, it was so sudden and what was I even going to tell anyone on such a short notice? He never said when exactly we were moving, but judging by the urgency in his voice, I assume we're moving pretty soon.
"I do want a fresh start." I admitted bashfully.
"Exactly. So I don't see the big deal about quitting, just think of it as you starting a new life and letting go of the odd. As far as I'm concerned it's a win win for the both of us." he smiled, I looked at his pearly white teeth, back up to his eyes and cracked really small smile at him as he kept talking.
"We'll live in Southern California, a house near the water because I know you enjoy that, you'll get to be home and relax, cook, clean, maybe you could even work on painting again like you always loved." he suggested, convincing me even further now that he had brought up my art. I haven't painted in so long and starting back up again may be just what I needed all along.
"It does sound nice." I agreed, nodding.
He grabbed both of my hands and bent down, kissing the back of one and then the other one. "And, we can start anew, and hopefully this fresh start will begin to fix us, and that way we can become the perfect couple again. I can finally show you off to the public." he said.
I shook my head and sniffed, "But I- I'm scared Jayce. Leaving my entire life behind? You' can't be serious." I whined a little.
"It'll be okay, I'll be with you every step and you know it. It's just an adjustment... please... say yes." he kissed my cheek in between every word, eliciting a grin from me.
My heart was a battleground of emotions right now. Hesitation weighed heavily on me, a persistent voice of doubt echoing in my mind. I had spent so long questioning my own choices, my marriage, and my own desires that clarity felt elusive.
Mixed with her hesitance, however, was a flicker of hope. The idea of a fresh start, a chance to rebuild the fractured foundation of my relationship with Jayce, held an undeniable allure. It was as if a glimmer of light had pierced the darkness of our troubled past, and I couldn't help but yearn for the possibilities it presented.
Amidst my hesitation, I found a growing determination to just embrace this change, after all, he was right. We needed to get away, we need to block out any outside factors and just be us so we could get back to our old selves. I for one knew that it wouldn't be easy, that there would be challenges ahead, but the prospect of a fresh beginning was a beacon of hope I couldn't ignore.
With a hesitant but sure heart, I made the decision to take a leap of faith with my spouse.
"Yes. Let's go. Let's move." I answered.